Uncertainties

Casa Espiritu garden

I have mentioned changes coming ahead and want to say a bit more about what is next for this blog. Before that though, I had another health issue arise and would like to inform others in case this kind of thing could catch them by surprise as it did me.

Recently, I experienced a bout of low blood sugar, hypoglycemia when it is permanent. I woke up one morning and didn't feel right at all. We did the usual poke the finger to get a blood sugar reading (which I wanted to check for diabetes not imagining low blood sugar). It's not like the first time it's happened, but this time was unconnected to nightshades. What happened is I was shaky, felt tired already, unsteady, didn't want to eat anything. My husband recognized the symptoms based on experiences with his mom. 

The numbers confirmed I was going the wrong way with my blood sugar. 70 is just barely okay, but it was not okay for me. So some sugar, honey, toast I didn't want, orange slices, and we got the numbers up to the 90s and later in the day mid-80s. Those are okay numbers but the reason for all of this is not okay. The reasons people develop low blood sugar readings are various but it's not a good place to be.

This chronic problem is hard to diagnose or deal with but we've been reading about it. It leads to a lot of symptoms I've been experiencing, like anxiety, odd heart beats, shakiness,
etc. etc.

Time for more diet adjustments, which means more complex carbohydrates, which many of us have avoided. I've not been eating healthily for getting something like low blood sugar. I've had a normal breakfast, my lunch has been light, and I've skipped the evening meal because I just didn't want food then. Guess my body disagreed.

Another is no whiskey as it can be a trigger especially as I was using it to feel normal for my blood sugar. As with so many things, it has other impacts. I never liked feeling drunk but sips of it off and on during the day to deal with the tremors had other implications.

If you have experienced hypoglycemia and know what someone can do to avoid the symptoms, I hope you will share.

So, our trip north has become dicey as to when we leave with so much to do once we arrive. Due to my illness and the weather, we will wait at least a week for going. Will reservations be more difficult in June? who knows. Either way, we are going-- getting in hay, fertilizing fields, separating cow calf pairs, selling a few, getting a crew out to cut the bad limbs off the huge oak trees, and on it goes. Not to mention getting there with three cats who will hate it all, then building a safe fence for them to be outside but not as they once were. The farm has new dwellers, including a cat.

That doesn't impact the blog but lack of internet does (no cell cover at the farm) and a lot of the RV parks say they have internet, but they do not. As best I can figure it out, it will be October or maybe early September before we are where I'll be able to publish a blog. Again, who knows as life can take some abrupt turns.

To keep this blog active, when I cannot be online, I had one idea-- my older blogs that I can pre-publish, where most readers today won't have seen them and some (in my opinion) are worth considering. I won't include comments with them as sadly many of the early blog commenters have since died. A reminder of the shortness of life.

Another possibility would be if someone wanted to take over the blog for a few months. I had hoped that would be Diane, but she had other directions to travel. I'd like to keep the blog active even if it's old thoughts-- they all are things with which I still like to think-- not like I agreed with all I wrote back then. I've changed in many ways. What I will share the next few months will be those ideas that I still consider relevant to my life. You won't know what I am doing from the posts, but I already told you-- living in a vacation trailer.

Photos above are of the garden Ranch Boss created at our Tucson home. Fortunately, we have nice neighbors who will look after the house, pool and maybe eat some of the veggies and pick the flowers until we can return. As it stands, we have no idea when that will be but we love this place. The trailer in the photo below is one we may have to sell if we keep the new (to us) one. That will be decided in the fall.

trailers

 My first experience with staying in a vacation trailer came the summer after we got married when my husband's uncle towed their small trailer up into the Cascades for us to spend a few nights. We enjoyed the experience. I'd slept in tents since I was a child but never a small trailer. I wish I had a photo of it and might but it'd be in Oregon if so.

 

In 1972, we had camped with our babies in tents but decided to get our own small trailer--an Aristocrat and about 15' maybe. It had no bathroom but did have a refrigerator, sink, table and enough beds for us and our toddlers. That trailer went with us camping around Oregon and to Arizona. With no air-conditioning, we had to rethink a few routes south-- like not heading straight to Tucson and instead to the Grand Canyon where it'd be cooler. Photo above was the Metolius in Oregon-- many happy days spent there.

We stopped using it as the kids grew too big for the beds and went back to tents as well as resorts-- but didn't give up on road trips to the Southwest. The times were memorable but then the kids grew up, found their own lives, and it was just us.

The first time we went out with our Astro Van for our camping was I think 1990. I loved the freedom of not pulling anything and being safe in a van with curtains I made and a cushy big back bed. If we didn't feel secure somewhere (and that did happen), we'd just drive off. The sad part was that van began having more and more problems with the 'improved' versions. When the last one locked up on steering, we needed something different and a lot safer.

That led to 2012 when we had a truck big enough to pull a bigger rig (as well as a trailer full of hay). It had a bathroom, bed, cooking ability, cabinetry, table, sofa and a good set up for us and our cats, which sometimes were 4 and other times just 2 depending on old age or illness taking some from us. 

We loved the Wildcat by Forest River, but along came a new need this year when we must spend months in a trailer for helping with the work on the Oregon farm (we meaning one of us). Although the windows were great in the Wildcat, it didn't have the kind of space we needed for living. For now, we have not sold the Wildcat as maybe the bigger trailer won't be a long time need. We will have more space for work and the rest, we're still sorting out. We've been buying some 'things' to make it feel more homey. We will see how that works out.

Why a blog

 Since it's only me writing here, as it was for many years, I don't need to say by... I thought I might write a bit about why I have done blogs. It's been a lot of years. I think I began in 2004, but felt it wasn't going anywhere, as I had no feel for it, stopped it, then found someone had taken my 'name' when I decided to try again. And this one, since 2006 has continued and will continue. 

Why do a blog?

For me, it's about communication and sharing. It's about my ideas but also those who come across the words. I don't do much to bring readers here, as in reading a ton of other blogs. I count on putting out ideas that will attract those looking for such ideas. I avoid using keywords that might draw trolls. Nobody should want trolls as they aren't about ideas but about destruction. Why is that fun? I have no idea.

Blogs are not just about the writer but those who come to read the words. I feel a responsibility to them. I though have never done a memoir type blog where I tell readers all that is going on with my marriage or family. There are such blogs but I never wanted my blog to be about my personal life-- instead, my ideas, oh yea, definitely that.

This blog draws from nearly a thousand viewers to a hundred with very few who comment. I suspect that's because I don't comment other places-- with a few exceptions. What you put out, you get back--mayb.

It will change over the next months as my life will-- this time, it's about me. We are heading north with a new vacation trailer (new to us) as we have to live in it for a few months. I'll write more about that in the future as we leave our Arizona home and head back to the Oregon farm. More next Saturday on the trailer that will take us north...

Beltane

 by Rain Trueax

Despite the calendar telling us that summer doesn't begin until the Solstice, in the Pacific Northwest, it begins May 1 with Beltane. Celtic festivals follow nature and reflect it unrelated to religious demands-- pagan or otherwise.

Beltane

For Beltane, there used to be the May pole to dance around but not sure many still do that. Where I live, and in the lands where the Celtic religion originated, it is the time of hills turning green, trees in leaf, wildflowers everywhere and gardens full of color-- although times of drought tend to dampen the colors.

No matter what the dryness, the days are growing longer; the birds are building nests. It is a time for eager anticipation of summer weather when we can swim in rivers and hike in mountains that winter denied us (unless we snowshoe). It is a time to celebrate the renewal of life. It was the day in 1910 when my father was born in South Dakota.

What I hadn't known about Beltane, until I researched, is that it is also the time of the coming together of the god and goddess, of male and female.

"Handfastings (Pagan marriages) are traditional at this time. It is a time of fertility and harvest, the time for reaping the wealth from the seeds that we have sown. Celebrations include braiding of one's hair (to honour the union of man and woman and Goddess and God), circling the Maypole for fertility and jumping the Beltane fire for luck. Beltane is one of the Major Sabbats of the Wiccan religion. We celebrate sexuality (something we see as holy and intrinsic to us as holy beings), we celebrate life and the unity which fosters it. The myths of Beltane state that the young God has blossomed into manhood, and the Goddess takes him on as her lover. Together, they learn the secrets of the sexual and the sensual, and through their union, all life begins."            From  The Shaman's Well, link above

Romance is the bread of life. Love is a worthy of celebration as artists and writers seek to capture the elusiveness of human reasons for mating.
 

I love thinking of Beltane as a not just a celebration of spring but one of sexuality and love. It is what the continuation of life is all about. And it's not all about opposite sex relationships as love between adults is love wherever it's found. And love, for those who have found each other through all the pitfalls (and there are plenty) is always a precious thing to celebrate.

When I painted, I liked to paint emotional connections between people. When I did sculptures, I looked for poses that illustrated the same. Now it's books; but it's always what I am drawn to capture whether in clay, paint or words.

The sculptures are all fired clay. If I get back to painting again, I hope I can do more couples in various poses reflecting love's moods.

rainbows from sunshine and rain

 By Rain Trueax

Originally, I thought Diane was going to post here to explain why she told me a few days ago that she will no longer be at this blog. When she didn't, I felt I should as I know some of you probably would wonder. She had thought she'd start a new blog of her own but that didn't work out-- yet anyway. If you have her on Facebook, you can maybe get more information on where to find her next and her reasons she wanted this change. She will be missed here but everybody has to do what works for them. 

So, no regular blogs on Wednesday unless I post something now and again. My future posting will be a little uncertain as in May (sometime), we head back to the farm with our new (to us) trailer to help with fertilizing, fencing, sorting cattle (I use the term we very loosely as it'll be our son (future Ranch Boss in training) and Ranch Boss who do the work while I herd cats and try to figure out how to make living in a trailer work with no cell coverage). You did know that not everywhere in the US has cell or internet coverage-- if you didn't, we are one of those places at the farm. A lot of this is a plan in progress... using the term plan very loosely.

Because Saturday is Beltane, I won't be writing then about the new trailer and what we are doing to make it a work in progress. Maybe the next  Saturday. Life should be flexible, right? *s*

Anyway, Diane is fine but just going her own direction.

 

We got a lovely rain on Tuesday, much needed, which also gave us a rainbow.

what lies ahead

 by Rain Trueax

 

My life is about to get more chaotic, which might last through the summer (or even into fall) and makes it hard, among other things, for me to know where I will have internet. We are hoping to work something out... I can't say I really want what is happening next, but it's not bad and it's necessary for assorted reasons. I might write more about that later or maybe not. At any rate, it doesn't involve health as such and hopefully it will all straighten out with time... 

Given my own uncertain future, I thought I'd mention a couple of cultural issues, with which our country (and the world) is wrestling:

(1) Having changed things in our country has been a pandemic that nobody invited-- that we know of. What do we do about it to protect ourselves? Masks? Isolation? Vaccinations? It totally is not what people agree upon with half the United States against having the vaccine and some not wanting to wear masks.

(2) we also have a time of cultural violence-- which most of us have no idea from where that came, but when people shoot others for no apparent reason, or they come to a restaurant and demand those there leave, that's violence whether someone dies or just gets scared badly leading to other problems. How about a police force that doesn't know how to keep order as things stand-- or does anyone want order from the police? Are the police at fault or are they facing what the rest of us will eventually-- just, they are first.

(3) Not of lesser importance is worldwide desire for expansion from some nations (Russia and China come to mind). For those of you who thought kumbaya was in store, read a little bit more about what's happening around the world. Well, those trying to take over (Crimea, Ukraine, Hong Kong, Taiwan, etc.) do want one world government-- but under their control. Pay a little attention to what that would mean and it's not kumbaya.

(4) How can we not add in global warming, which some believe is behind the violence in our communities but whether it is or not, it definitely could impact our weather and food supply? What will it do regarding migration?

Recently, I discussed our decision regarding getting the vaccine. Personally, we don't have to rethink, the deed is done, I have though seen pros and cons on whether we should have gotten the vaccine. I still am glad of the choice we made. As for the rest... I literally don't know. Can we change any of it by what we personally do? Some think we can, but I am not so sure.

On a more personal level, we may not have internet through the summer, which would mean no blogs for a few months. It's unknown as the farm does not have cell phone coverage. Then, there is how do we take care of our cats with a changing environment? A lot to consider. I am working through it and will share more when I have a better handle on it.

The desert wildflowers didn't happen this year due to drought. The cactus have had less blooms. If this extends longer, I don't know what it will do to the habitat. We have given up on planting fruit trees down here and are saving any extra water for the plants on our little acreage. We can only do what we can do and we really hope this summer has a real monsoon even though we will miss it by being in Oregon (which is also drier than usual as it seems the East Coast is getting all the rainfall).

by Diane: Unforgettable Birthday

 

Yesterday  contemplating my soon to be birthday, I felt sad for awhile.   I would not enjoy going to Fred Myers with Fisherman Hubby to buy Geranium and snapdragon starts.

Fortune shines on me today.  Twice the zinc impulse sprinkler doused me in the face as I attempted to blindly without directions adjust it to water my birthday gift to myself - a newly replenished lawn in an attempt to get rid of the uneven gullies sunk between shoulders and a low spot left by the removal of a tree stump two years ago.

I enjoyed the company of my youngest Granddaughter and Honorary Grandson.  They painted tiles and took them to Surefire Design so they can be fired and be ready Thursday. Two days sooner than expected. I can't wait to see how they all turn out for my kitchen.

Also enjoyed a phone call with an old family friend that never fails to inform me of stories of my great Grand Uncle.

Well I am feeling so much better than yesterday.

 

Changing Times Also--

 by Rain Trueax

 

Growing up, westerns were my favorite series TV and movies. The good guys used guns and they always won in the end over the bad guys. There was no problem figuring out who was who. As I have mentioned, right now I am watching no TV; but even before, I didn't go to the channels with the old westerns. Maybe someday I will, but right now they don't draw me to them.

There were a lot of television westerns that I loved back in the day. One of them was called Gunsmoke, about the marshal of Dodge City, Kansas and the woman he loved. Oh, I know the woman he loved never came to fruition while in the shows, but it was there in the expressions and the looks Matt and Kitty gave each other. If it had been in a different time, maybe it would have, but in those days the hero either had to marry the heroine or it needed to stay suggested. The emphasis was always on the marshal and his job.

What I came across on YouTube is, how many people had created the love story we all craved to have seen, the one we imagined. There are a lot of these videos. They go back ten years or even more where the music is put to clips from the shows. Here's one--

Behind Closed Doors

Gunsmoke ran from 1955 to 1975, following an earlier radio show. In the last year, Kitty had left the show. Maybe the star got tired of never getting her marshal.  

This question is whether the heroine and hero never connecting (many in those days) led many western writers to want to create romances where happily ever after was required. If I had begun publishing my own books back in the 50s, would it have influenced not allowing a marshal to have as a lover, a saloon owner (or bordello madam). Could they kiss? Not a chance. 

My first books were written in the 60s but I didn't have the sex in them either-- the rough drafts that is, as in those years I wrote but didn't publish. By the mid 1970s, the word for romance novels changed and steamy was part of the plots. Personally, I think it was good for women to read such books where healthy sexuality was a part of a serious romance (well, some weren't probably so healthy back then). 

My first historical western where the hero was a marshal was Book 2 in the Arizona series. The marshal had been in book 1 as had the future heroine. How to make their story challenging led to a lot of research as to what being a US Marshal meant back in those days. Many towns, like Tucson, had a marshal and a sheriff. The marshal's job was more federally political while the sheriff was run more by local partisan politics. But, both were political.

The Marshal's Lady (original titled Tucson Moon) dealt with a man and woman with very opposite ideas on guns for instance. He used one as part of his responsibilities. She despised them. What really brought them together, to work past this, was the arrival of his estranged nine year-old daughter when he had no idea how to be a father. The heroine stepped in with her sympathy for the girl and from there romance grew.

Unlike Gunsmoke, I had no compunction against bringing these two together sexually, but it had to make sense that it could happen and it had to take into account the nature of the times politically and culturally. Because it was set in Southern Arizona, I enjoyed writing it as it moved outside of Tucson and involved characters from my first Arizona book.

If you are interested in such a story, politics was very much part of it, as it  is of our world today, it's at Amazon and other eBook sites. 

One other thing: I got a notice from Blogger that they will no longer be notifying those, who signed up for RSS, as of July 21st this year. I don't know how most of you find your blogs but if you counted on an email or phone announcement, you might want to reconsider and do what I do (I never signed up for this service). When I have blogs I want to read I bookmark them and check when I know a new one is likely. In the case of Rainy Day Thought, that would be Wednesdays for Diane as she weaves her way through widowhood and her career as a painter and Saturdays when I write about whatever has struck my mind that week. Always new entries on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

 

Oh, and don't forget The Marshal's Lady for a taste of what life was like back in the 1880s and a book where a happily ever after is going to happen-- even after many struggles (of course). Although the link is just for Amazon, the book is at Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, etc.

The Marshal's Lady

by Diane: Joyful distractions from painting mount;

 My nails show I have been working the earth in my yard. The yard waste is almost filled ready for the yard waste truck today.  I am not used to the heat we are having so will not do more trimming and weeding today.  The hard for me yard work these past couple days has me concerned that without help, I will not be able to keep my place free of ragweed or is it pig weed that make my allergies worse than need be.

 My 8 inch tiles for the  kitchen sink back splash is here. I have invited my youngest granddaughter and her other best friend to come and paint one each. Started taking pictures of  cross sections of my radish and watermelon. This will be the most fun distraction of all.

Not so fun will be calculating how much canvas I need to stretch over about 16 stretcher bar frames.

So stay tuned maybe by next Wednesday, I will have 2 patches of wild flowers and a new lawn planted. Meaning more time to paint. Painting is my priority.

by Diane: Viewing my entire stash of painting supplies but I am joyfully distracted

 I never dreamed of spreading out all my stretcher bars to visualize a new oil painting series in a big room devoted to oil painting. What a luxury I have. I am so thankful. I never dreamed I would have a large supply of boards just for painting. I did not realize I have old timber stretcher bars that are less apt to bend into warped canvases. Seeing the empty stretcher bars on my painting wall is a glimpse of my future.

Tuesday, April 13

I am going to a friend's filbert farm. Such a generous invitation. Even though it is windy, I am prepared to sit low to the ground and do small watercolors in preparation for oil paintings from memory. May take some photos to jog my memory. Since I am used to looking and seeing differently than what my iPhone camera will record, I do not give the photos much authority. best to sit with the subject and  soak in the atmosphere and naturally struggle with the wind.

Then Susan took me for a ride around near by farms where there were a variety of barns and sites for future painting. At home I prepared ground for the beautiful geraniums. The poppies and vegetable starts wait for tomorrow. As I needed to mow and water the geraniums and lupin seeds that I planted yesterday.

It was a big day and I am tired. 

The large yard is going to be in competition with painting tomorrow. Some lupin and wildflowers have sprouted and both plantings of snap peas are growing. The thistles are going to seed and I have not finished weeding out the ragweed. now it looks good in the spring but change is coming. The clay earth has cracks over an inch wide. Tomorrow I will continue to thread the hoses back on the faucets. Too tired tonight to try and figure out how to turn on the sprinklers.

Tomorrow April 14

Stay tuned, I will calculate the amount of canvas I will need and how to make the best use of it. Will order gesso.

Changing Times

 by Rain Trueax

After a year of not much changing, the vaccine has now gone to about half of all Americans. I've read that there are those (1/3 of Christians and 1/2 of GOP men) who won't get the shots for assorted reasons. I know of those who fear the side effects, and for some there have been unpleasant side effects or worse for a very few. Some see it as some kind of spiritual test. I wish those who refuse the best of luck as the virus has side effects too. At any rate, the fact that a vaccine exists is a positive thing for life getting back to normal-- whatever that will be.

It's spring when everything will be changing. Now that we have had the booster to the Moderna vaccine and it's been three weeks, we have supposed immunity-- as best they know it. That's the one thing with this virus-- they are learning as we are going. Still, I believe, it's better that more of us have had it and we appear to be heading toward herd immunity. Onward and upward as a friend of mine used to say.

by Diane: Painting Out There with the West Coast Kona, Hawaii Plein Air Group

  

On the Kona coast of Hawaii every Friday year round a fantastic hard core group of talented artists meet on location to paint mostly the coast ocean beaches. These artists are Aloha welcoming and will generously give any asked for assistance. After painting for about three hours the group gathers to share their work. Some eat lunch. Some continue to paint.

It has been about 8 years since my first painting time with the Plein Air Group. Richard the organizer greets me by welcoming me back home. And it does feel like home. I watch the artistic development of the artists on Face Book usually posting the Friday's paintings by Monday with updates on small changes they make in their paintings. On line and in person the experience informs my painting.

Maybe influenced by Hawaii but I did this 11"x14" canvas board treated with lightly tinted Plaster of Paris in gesso to make it absorbent to watercolor. Also used acrylic white ink and some Heavy body cadmium  substitute Yellow Deep.

I am feeling defensive of the comment that this is a technique, when a good painting friend who works in a traditional process of drawing her subject on the surface, making a value sketch and then painting in area by area her subject. Yes every process involves a technique of one sort or another to get the paint from pallet to painting surface. My process is a journey with only a rough idea of where I am headed and open to change to have a conversation with what the paint is doing. 

 

when morning comes

 by Rain Trueax

For the month of March, with no plan to do so, I watched absolutely no television, movies, nor listened to any radio talk shows. It started because of my bout of nightshade intolerance, but it went beyond that as I could not stand the idea of watching the television screen. After a week or so, I began to consider what television had been doing to my daily life. What I learned is it was filling in time. Although I had already reduced (not none until March began) watching political news, I still had cable for HGTV, documentaries, and a Hallmark movie once or twice a week. We also had Curiosity Stream for nature and historic films, but they seemed too simplified and more aimed at kids than adults. Pretty and all but nothing much to learn.

As I recovered from being sick, things changed for what I wanted my days to look like. I cut back on the Internet-- for a while none, and then very little, but gradually found a reasonable amount of time to check on friends at Facebook, and of course, read newspapers and online magazines with news stories. Still, it was nothing like it had been.

The cable, political news that I had been watching had had some events covered, but a lot of it had been by pundits to tell me what I should think about what I'd seen. If I had been a right winger, I'd have been watching shows like Newsmax or if I was a left winger, it'd be MSNBC. Neither one was going to give both sides of anything. That's not what their audience expected from their pundits.

So, what did I replace that time with-- what am I still replacing it with? Well, watching the clouds in the sky as they changed outside my bedroom window. I got some info on the names of cloud types (cumulus, cirrus, stratus, and nimbus). The problem quickly became that clouds mixed together and finding pure cloud shapes wasn't happening often. Clouds have many varieties. Maybe just enjoying them was the ticket.

I enjoyed watching the trees move with the wind, the birds fly past the window, and the mountain about three miles or so away. In some ways, it was all nothing. In other ways, it was my real world.

Reading aloud continued, but we left behind the non-fiction to try a book I'd never read, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I didn't expect to like it but got into these characters. We ended up buying more books in the series of five. Currently, we are working on the fourth in the series-- with the third waiting on the dresser. They weren't in order but the fourth didn't need to be. I do not plan to read the fifth given reviews I'd read of it. Ranch Boss has been doing all the aloud reading, which has been enjoyable for us both as the dialogue in those books is fun. 

The three cats got used to the idea that I was not in the living room but rather our bedroom. They adjusted to that and I enjoyed watching them as they worked out their own relationships-- not always in good moods.

March also got me my second Moderna and finally I am, at two weeks after that, which theoretically means fully protected, only the more you read, the more you know it doesn't always work that way. Still, I am glad I did it and hope that those who can will do so. What we need to know about viruses is a long way off, I suspect.

From not watching television, I got used to not trying to think and just be. I didn't need to fill the space as just being was satisfying. I thought of many things for issues politically, some I might share here someday, but for now, this is it. 

My own conclusion is that television may not be doing our brains or emotions a favor. Like so many things, everyone needs to evaluate that for themselves.

These photos are all from April 2nd as the sun rose with clouds providing a show.

By Diane: Trip

 from Diane

Just arrived back from Hawaii at 11:55 PM, March 30 finally arriving home at 5:30 AM March 31. One of my Granddaughters and my Adopted Guy helped me in my travels while I introduced them to the Big Island.

Highlights of our eight days in Kona, Hawaii included an awesome walking tour of the Kona Cloud Forest. The three hour tour moved through the dense vegetation literally standing on intertwined roots all above the lava. Ordinarily impenetrable and dangerous, our guide made trails and maintained them to reveal to the public his passion to save the cloud forests now reduced to less than 1% of the Earth's land mass. Kelly Dunn, always entertaining, has a visionary poet's questioning of  scientific classification.  I am asking more questions in retrospect. Do we really know what we know about the relationships in the natural world?

Adopted Guy's favorite adventure was walking through the newly reopened Lava Tube in Hawaii Volcanoes National Forest. At the entrance a friendly couple of women and us exchanged taking pictures.

My painting and life essentials were tightly packed into a roll-on suitcase. Most of the stuff was stashed in a sheet and pillow case bag with separate compartments.  My easel and walking stick was in collapsible chair bag. Also a hat and rain coat are essential. my art things in their compartment left room for  only a very few shoes and clothes. A lot to carry when I also need a c-pap case.

 

The three of us had a good trip with many new memories. But as always there are some inconveniences or in our case problems that occur that must be communicated if something distresses us.  This time I did not realize that the refrigerator was not cold enough.  Tummies were a little upset from the chicken vegetable stir fry. I experienced gas but thought the chicken was well enough heated. Thus I did not worry about the refrigerator in time to have something done about it. I notified the owners only the evening before we left. And then I discovered the automatic ice machine did not function either. Hope the repairman can fix the refrigerator. This year the Bears Place Guest House has had it hard with Covid. Of course they are optimistic that business people who can work via computers can live anywhere. They can work in the early hours and then go surfing after work. At 1,000 feet elevation, the guest house cools down to cmfortable.

Choices

 by Rain Trueax

 

From the time Covid-19 hit American shores, we've been bombarded by information-- often contradictory. People have had to make choices whether to isolate, wear masks, wash hands, stay out of crowds, etc. etc. Some have gone one way. Some another. Those in care centers didn't get to make choices as they were made for them-- and not always to their benefit.

Then after the election was over, we were told the vaccines were going to be ready before the end of the year. We watched our leaders get the shot, like President Biden, and knew eventually we'd have to decide for ourselves. Yes or no for a shot that had only recently come out of testing.

To begin, I wasn't sure. We can isolate being retired, but still would the vaccination be a good idea? To begin, Moderna or Pfizer were our main options. We began to read all we could get our hands on. Because Ranch Boss is a chemist, he went to professional journals. We basically decided if we chose to be vaccinated, it would be Moderna. 

At a certain point, we decided we wanted to do it and then got an opportunity almost immediately with the early part of February. It was perfect with a "drive-through". I think I wrote about it here. We, neither one, had a reaction and were eager to get our second. Ranch Boss his got second on schedule, but I had been sick with the nightshade intolerance and depressingly had to cancel, then hoped I could get it later. That worked out at 6 weeks after the first one, I also got the second-- again with no reaction other than some redness at the vaccination site. My arm wasn't even sore as had been Ranch Boss'. 

Since then, we have been learning more . Like that the morphing of the virus has about 25% of the current cases in Arizona being that California variant. Will the vaccine protect from the dire results of getting Covid when it's a variant? So few answers for now. 

Another thing we read is it might be better to wait up to 3 months to get the second dose, to be more effective. Also that it might be better to have it be Moderna for one and Pfizer for two. Those aren't easy options to take given you usually get it through the same source.

I felt it was important that people who could, would get the vaccinations. The disease morphs in animal bodies. The less opportunity(cases) it has , the less chance it'll become a bigger and bigger problem.

Some believe the vaccine isn't helpful. Well, it does not necessarily promise you won't get it. It promises you have less chance (94%) of it being serious if you do. Still, everyone has to decide and for some, it might be too risky based on other things they already have.

For Covid and the vaccine, I have a personal story and it's why you saw that picture at the top of this blog.

My husband made a friend when he went to the Oro Valley Library writer group. He and Helmut Seifert met a few times at restaurants and then began regularly talking on the phone often for Paul to help Helmut with his book, which he had published and which was very important to his life, but they had a lot of other things in common, interest in each other's lives. They could talk hours but usually once a week.

March 2021 came along and Ranch Boss realized Helmut hadn't replied to his last text and hadn't called in longer than usual. When he went off to get his second shot (me ... stuck at home), I looked in the paper for obituaries and there was Helmut's. It was a shock as he wasn't yet 65. I had never met him due to the virus but I cried. Later that day when my husband talked to his wife, he learned the cause of death had been Covid-19. 

The story goes like this. They had had Helmut's parents living with them. His mother had fallen, could no longer do things by herself, and it was decided she needed more care than they could provide. The idea was getting his parents both into a good assisted living place. That ended up with health aides coming into their home-- quite a few. Before that, since the whole virus thing hit us, Helmut had been very careful to isolate but there no isolating from this.

Helmut's wife said when their family showed symptoms, three tested positive but she did not as she had had the vaccine (she was in the health care profession). She had tried to get the shots for Helmut but protocol denied him because he was a few months shy of turning 65. As his illness worsened, he and his dad were hospitalized. His mother had tested positive also but with a light case. Helmut and his father, hospitalized on the same floor of the hospital, passed within 2 weeks of being tested positive. His wife, even though vaccinated, was not allowed to be with him.

Was there a logical reason his wife didn't get sick other than she had had the vaccine? 

While it's true that for some getting the vaccination could be risky, for most it's not. Will it prove effective enough? Time will tell. We all need to think it through-- what will be our choice? I read that 30% of Republican men say they will not get the shot. I hope they don't find themselves exposed to the disease as Helmut did. He had more books to write...

The book Helmut had published was his dream. It encompassed a story but also what he had learned about life and wished to pass on to others. If you have ever had such a story inside you, you can understand what it meant to him when he finally saw it in print, his desire he perfect and make it all he could. It is not a romance but more allegorical science fiction. It was a book difficult to put into genres. He was working on a second when he died. One was all there was to be and here is its link. Check it out. (be sure, if you go there, to read not just the Blurb but the reviews. They help to tell more what this unusual book is about.)

Nobody's Coming

 

a break

 Diane had mentioned in her last blog that she was taking a bit of a break from the blog. Everybody needs that once in a while. She thinks she'll have something new April 7th. 

This photo is from down here and early in March. :)

a break

 by Rain Trueax

Because I get my second Moderna vaccination this week and because I have no idea what effect it will have on me, given what I've heard from friends, I am setting up this blog to be photos from March.

We have had interesting weather with clouds sailing past some days and then snow on elevations just above us (our elevation got rain-- hallelujah). My life is quiet and may stay that way or not, after I am past the vaccination thing. I believe in those of us who can to get vaccinated and help our country get back to normal. Nobody though knows how the vaccine will impact them.

Since I got so sick from the nightshade debacle, I haven't been able to stand TV. That means no news there since February 27th and no movies, not even our own. My attention span is limited. For awhile, I didn't want to be online but that got close to okay-- still not as much time as before.

Mostly I enjoy lying on the bed, with the cats near, having my husband read news to me or from a book and a lot of time to just be. I like looking at the sky, trees, birds, and mountain. I've begun to try to identify clouds and it all reminds me of this [Joni Mitchell-- Clouds].

Such quiet times, I find it more satisfying than many things I used to enjoy but now wonder if they were just filling time. Eating is something I look at with great concern-- like will that have a nightshade in it? It has led to eating less for sure.

Anyway, photos after the jump break

by Diane: My widowhood dream

 by Diane

The early morning dream was just before I would awaken for the day - a time for almost lucid dreaming.

The dream took place at an Arizona highway gas/deli convenience store. Coming back from the toilets, Fisherman Hubby beckoned me to go back to the van across the street to leave.  I didn't want to leave before eating at the café, but I followed reluctantly across the street where the others were gathering to leave.  I was tardy being last in the group to leave. As I slowly walked across the street towards the van, I was flabbergasted. At the right of us was a large black cinder cone-shaped old fumarole. 

 I turned to Fisherman Hubby, " The fumarole has eroded a lot since we were here last." No answer. I turned away towards the increasingly quickening to fall black stones running as fast as water into a hole surrounding the fumarole.  The falling black shiny stones were not threatening me. To the contrary, they were falling into a deep hole in the ground.  The glittering black rocks were moving too fast to see their actual composition but they reminded me of semi-precious jet. Jet like Jean-Val-Jean the convict turned his convict identity around by establishing a factory making black jet buttons and with the profits he became a philanthropist.  

I waited for surely I would be missed and the van and Fisherman Hubby would come right back for me. When it didn't, I felt a little empty  with thoughts of never seeing Fisherman Hubby ever again.  I was mostly concerned about not having my purse with ID and credit cards. As I walked back towards the Deli,  I didn't look back. I entertained thoughts of how I could manage now. Be like an amnesiac? I now am free to make a new identity separate from my marriage identity entwined with Fisherman Hubby. 

In retrospect after being fully awake I see the black volcanic cone like the unexpressed anger that grew in our relationship between me and Fisherman Hubby as his ALS progressed. Also my growing fear that his anger would erupt. For short spirts before exhaustion he was frightfully strong in legs, arms and hands. Plus he was not aware, how in his need to control me, he could push his fingers into my chest hard enough to really hurt me. I did once yell at him not to push me and his feelings were very hurt that I would think he could and would.

In my new beginnings I revel in the spaciousness of our home. And I continue to find it hard to give up some of his things. Do I really need two really heavy 5 foot long crow bars? I just gave away to a grand child Fisherman Hubby's waffle maker.

With this post, I am thinking the widowhood series is winding down and I am taking a short recess until April. In April when the shop/studio will be useable and I will be sharing the results. Now on to doing taxes and such.

more about nightshades than you ever wanted to know

by Rain Trueax

 

According to what I read about nightshades, 38% of Americans are in one way or another impacted by them. Some to a lesser degree and some, like me to a disabling one. If you are among the lesser, you might feel less yourself a day or two after eating say a tomato sauce or a baked potato. You likely wouldn't connect it to anything you ate as nightshades do not do their toxic work right after eating. It's a day or two later.

I have tried, since I learned a few years back, to avoid nightshades and didn't think it'd be that difficult. How hard is it to not eat an eggplant? I might feel like something was missed but considering the results, it's worth it. What I didn't know is in how much processed food nightshades are being used. Looking at what we routinely ate, like processed pickle relish-- guess what else is in it, green bell peppers. Spices are hidden under (some spices). The only safe way for me to eat is totally unprocessed and I have no idea if restaurants will ever work for me again. 

So my latest debacle from nightshades was after eating homemade fish tacos. We had them two nights in a row. One of the spices in them, had been in a third dinner.

I woke on  Saturday and worried something wasn't right but couldn't see how what I'd eaten could be the cause.

An hour or two later, I knew it was as I was very shaky, feeling weak, and nothing was possible to eat. Even trying to eat a saltine cracker led to throwing up. A few hours later, It got worse when I realized I couldn't get off the sofa without help. That led to checking blood sugar, another symptom of nightshade poisoning. I am not going on beyond that as frankly, who wants a list of what someone else has gone through. Fair to say, many of the symptoms listed under nightshade intolerance fit my next few days.

I'd not even write about this-- at all, except people need to be aware as many just don't feel well but have no idea why. If you get sick off and on but have not nailed a cause check this out.

 So, it was an unpleasant few days (putting it mildly) but then I realized it was going to cost me my second Moderna shot. They have a sheet you sign that asks if you've had an allergic reaction in the previous two days, but it's more than that. I still was not well. Now, with a very convenient shot set up for me, I knew I'd have to go on the hunt again. I cried because I wanted this done. Who knows when I can reschedule. When we cancelled this one, they said they did not know when they would get more vaccine. Later when my husband went to the site; they said none yet. Next time he went, it said slots filled. This is not going to be fun but hopefully will eventually get that second shot in time.

Did anything good come from this? One I can't stand to watch the TV-- nothing, nada, nil and that means no news. I think that's been a plus. I do though get news or did during my down time. My husband, whose desk and computer are in a room across from our bedroom, would read me the headlines. If we both felt they mattered, he'd go on to the text. It was fun and then we could talk about it. We continued that on after I was feeling better.

 Another, spending a lot of time lying on our bed, I found doing nothing, thinking nothing to be oddly soothing. I'd study the ceiling, look a the sculptures at the other end of the room, take delight in finally being able to walk more normally... kind of, and most of all loved watching the clouds move outside the window. 

 I have also learned no more processed foods of any sort. You'd be amazing at how many places our culture secrets nightshades including with those unnamed spices. That will limit eating out at restaurants, but I have not been one to eat out often either. It's just with the possibility of red pepper or paprika or potato starch in something, just checking for the major nightshades, isn't enough. 

Update March 13: After multiple online attempts, the right papers finally popped up with the ability to submit from the same clinic doing the shots last time and I have an appointment for Thursday :). Of course, since then I've read of people dying from the vaccine (very very few) but I don't care. I don't want to die, of course, but I believe in getting the vaccine for the overall good of the country. To me, it's worth the minuscule risk. It will also be good for me to feel more free to go out and not worry about spreading or getting a disease that proves deadly for too many. This is no time to take this disease for granted. 

by Diane: My life shaping 1962 Portland State Basic Design Assignment

    

  In 1962 I never would have guessed how just one assignment in the art class, Basic Design, stuck with me. How of all the other ideas I was exposed to at Oregon's Portland State College just before it became a  University,  Art instructor Mrs. Glaser's class assignment would be pivotal in shaping some of my life decisions as I age.  Mrs. Glazier's mindful exercise was to map and count our steps to prepare a meal in our kitchen. The assignment was before it's time of advocating mindfulness. This exercise stemmed from her being the wife of an original thinking architect. She shared with us how he influenced their working kitchen with complete disregard of trending examples featured in glossy magazines featuring what manufactures want to sell. She said don't look to architectural design magazines. Beauty in her eyes exposes the structural function for the use of a space. I was amazed to the point of remembering the assignment seeing photographs of how she did away with all cupboard doors and how beautiful their hand made plates were in wire racks and the thoughtful arrangement of all they used in cooking. 

      Mrs. Keizer's teaching was an extension of the philosophy of the head of the Art and Architecture Department, Professor Fredrick Heidel. He had say in the building of the art studio classrooms where ceiling piping was proudly displayed. His painting of urban renewal around Portland State College reviled the all important plumbing underground. Consistent with memorializing the how to structure  his watercolors in the 1980's when examined closely reveal his process of layering and adding drawing as he painted.  

      Heidel surrounded himself with diverse faculty who were process oriented.  For one the clay and bronze sculptor Fredric Littman shaped and cut his forms with a stiff stainless steel knife allowing the marks of the knife to remain to show his process. Richard Muller, Colescot, Kassel, Grimm, Prasch, and Kimbrell were often in the  informal commons area along  with students eating lunch, visiting or resting. Art process includes community.

        In 1966 I went back to Portland State College on a visit. I spoke to Heidel. I explained how in Tucson, I minimized the work in preparing Fisherman Husband's and my meals.  My meals like food was a necessity to be over with as quickly and easily as possible to get on with painting or studying.. He showed disappointment in me because enjoying creating bread and good food was central to his life as a creative artist to be enjoyed among family and friends.

 

 

     To bring the utmost of enjoyment to eating, I am working on being mindful counting my steps and mentally mapping my journey of how I move while preparing food, eating and clean up. Organized movement eliminates the stress of trying to find a space among the clutter to put a cutting board. Or pushing thing aside to place a hot pot off the stove. I notice that the time saved by the smooth flow of preparation is put into care of a delicate kitchen sink and polishing the beautiful glass top range. I am trying to believe that I am exercising and enjoying the beauty of the stove and sink.  

         Yes, there is the good side and the down to my choices in the kitchen. The kitchen sink is a brushed stainless steel Ariel Work Station. When opening the package I got a warning label which of course was not listed in the advertisement.  California Prop 65 Warning no less for cancer and reproductive Harm. Wow, how in the world can I always keep the sink perfectly dry when not in use. It is almost in perpetual use. I dry it before going to bed at night period.  There is no mention of a preferred disinfectant. But I am not suppose to use bleach as was my habit. Maybe peroxide? Luckily I seldom add salt to foods, I do not drink citrus juice or even eat the interior of citrus, or use mustard or pickles  I clean up right away not leaving steel or cast iron cookware in the sink that after time could leave iron particles that will corrode the sink.  

          As for the stove: It has a convection oven and a warming center on the cook top.  Now I can cook small side dishes which I move to the center while cooking the body of the meal on larger burners. The warming center is a plus for reducing stress to get all parts of the meal done at the same time. 

         Vigorous wiping of the cook top with a cleansing polish is also rewarding. So I am trying to make lemonade aid out of the shortcomings of todays products and focusing on enriching my art experience. I wish to follow in the tradition set by Claude Monet, as described in Clarire Joyes' book, Monet's Table: The Cooking Journals of Claude .... 

One of those weeks

 by Rain Trueax

 After a weird time where I seemed to have nothing to write about due to isolation in the Covid era, I started a time on the 26th (full moon shot above) that was totally different and right now just not writable about. Too many thing are ranging through my head and I can't put them into logical order; so this is a very short blog, especially for me.

I'll be back next week hopefully with a steadier head-- and a cooperative computer. Some I might write about and some not so much. I am playing it by ear and time. Time determines so much

by Diane: One improvement leads to five new needs

It is so easy to get side tracked from necessary improvements for safety for aging in place to dangerously counterproductive cosmetic not so lasting improvements. And then uncover bad mistakes.

   The big renovation of both the house and conversion of the shop started with the urgent need to replace the impossible for me to close barn doors. They were replaced by sliding glass doors. That led to making the shop into a space for oil painting which led to insulating the attic, a radiant heater, not to mention needing warm water and a toilet, pocket doors and sheet rocking which led to painting.

The added pop out by the kitchen sink was always hateful because of the danger of climbing over the sink to clean. When the pop out was demolished the exterior needed to be finished in siding and cedar has been difficult to maintain. First the south wall was replaced with hardy board. That looked good so did the entire outside of the house. All these exhilarating changes I love happening so easily and quickly.

Now I have a beautiful laminate photograph of blond hickory flooring. And the scent of saw dust that irritates my nose already dealing with allergies. Will the scent go away after cleaning up all the exceedingly fine sawdust?