Mr. Tarantula and the Spider Woman

  

 Although last week was not the first time we saw a tarantula here, it was the most recent; and we'd been concerned about why not; writing about it led to some research. I knew the basics, but these are interesting spiders with multiple varieties and some behavior patterns I had not known.   The recent pictures are below as I know some people are afraid of spiders and instead I have photos of Spider Woman on top. Why she is 'Spider Woman' is in the story.

What I learned is that female tarantulas can live up to 30 years but the males usually just 10. The males right now are on the hunt for a mate and in some states like New Mexico, Texas and Oklahoma, they can seem to be in massive numbers as they cross roads.

The tarantula photographed below is likely a male due to it being black. We don't think it is the Desert Tarantula as it would be brown. Instead it looked like the Tucson Bronze Tarantula, which the article said mostly is found in New Mexico. Males are black and females brown or tan. It's known to be gentle and often the one made into a pet. No thanks for me, but I like seeing them outside. There are ten species of tarantulas in the United States.

The hair on their bodies actually can be weapons if they are being attacked as they evidently throw them like a spear. There are spiders that are dangerous to humans, but they are not the tarantulas in this country. We decide something is evil often by how it appears. That's not always a good way to judge...

The stories below come from when we first bought Casa Espiritu. That was over twenty years ago and Ranch Boss was working at the company where  he'd been for 24 years and then as a consultant for a variety of start up companies. That meant we didn't live here all the time; and sometimes, I lived here alone while he was at the farm or on business trips.

At Casa Espiritu, I had various jobs to do outside. One involved cleaning out the outdoor wildlife pool and then cementing some holes in it. As I did it, I moved the sculpture you saw above. (At that time, I did sculptures of all sizes, she is one of the largest. I had to shape her in two pieces; so she could be fired in our kiln. Her clay is 'high-fire' for outdoor works. She came with us to Tucson). 

When I moved her, an angry tarantula scurried out from underneath as it had been his or her home. I quickly restored the sculpture where it had been and apologized. That's when the sculpture got its name, very apropos for Native American mythology-- Spider Woman. I don't know if the tarantula ever returned but she was used by other small critters over the years, one of whom gnawed the hole you now see in the photo.

My second adventure with a tarantula came out by our swimming pool where I was watering the plants. I saw a tarantula being chased by a Tarantula Hawk. Knowing these large wasps kill tarantulas, I turned my hose into a spray and let the wasp have a big dose, allowing the spider to at least escape that time.

I knew that the way the wasps killed them seemed brutal to me. They  inject a poison into the tarantula that paralyzes it legs and pincers, then it would drag its body to its burrow where it'd lay its egg in it. When the baby hatched, it would eat the still living tarantula... I know everything has to live but ugh. I did give a scant concern to it turning on me, but that's why I hit it long and hard. I've read they hurt when they sting humans, but they don't paralyze or kill us.

Our most recent sighting of a tarantula was outside my window when Ranch Boss saw it, staring in. He got the camera and took some photos. I suppose it was out looking for a mate. Although it didn't seem to mind being photographed, it also didn't hang around. Mostly they live underground except when looking for prey or a mate.

Here is a link to more info on them if you are not spider avoiders.  https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-13781945/Thousands-male-tarantulas-three-states-mate-female.html

insects as totems-- from 2006

Always praying mantises interest me and apparently others, as this particular blog has drawn a lot of comments from those who were curious about the insects. It's been too many years since I've seen one.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Praying Mantis

This week-end, at a renaissance faire (pictures from that will come another day) I was sitting on a dusty slope covered with dry bunch grass to wait for the jousting to begin. Someone said-- a praying mantis is on your back. I have to admit, I was pleased. Really? It chose me? Wow. Let it stay there because with all these people around, it might be stepped on if it is brushed off. I handed over my camera and asked for a photo. It was in no hurry to leave.

Then they said-- it's crawling up your back and going to get in your hair. At that point I became concerned as if it got tangled in my hair, that could have caused it to lose a feeler or leg getting it out; so I asked the man to my right if he could safely remove it and put it on a small tree almost in front of us. He did so; and as it climbed up the tree, I took another picture, then lost track of it.

I believe the events in our life are like our dreams. We can dismiss them, see them as insignificant, or when something a bit unusual happens, become interested in learning more about the potential symbol.

Biologically, I knew they are a gardener's friend. Although they are named praying mantis for their front leg position, it is actually a deadly weapon. Their benefit to the gardener is their hunting ability. Aphids beware.

I had no idea they can also kill hummingbirds. When I did some research on them, I saw a photograph online, for which I am sure anyone interested can find, that showed a praying mantis with a hummingbird it had killed, and then devoured. It was a small hummingbird, but still who would have guessed that more than small insects should be wary around them.

Generally they are green when I have seen them, but they take on the color of their background which is why on this dusty slope, this one (not sure how you tell male from female but guessing it might be female) was the color in these photos. They live about a year. I did know that the female will sometimes kill the male after mating by knocking his head off before she devours him. Not always. Sometimes he's quick enough to get out of her way.

Researching the spiritual symbols, I learned in ancient Egypt it would have been greatly honored. The Greeks attributed to it supernatural powers. To some it has been seen as the guide into the underworld. It had been inspirational in creating some of the Eastern exercises to increase chi (energy). In Africa, a praying mantis is thought to bring good luck to whomever it lands on and even restore life to the dead. The Bushmen of Africa believe the praying mantis is a divine messenger and whenever one is seen, diviners try to determine the current message.

What message did I take for myself from its choosing my back over all the others around? I felt pleased that maybe it knew I would protect it-- which I did as best I could. If it had a spiritual message for me, I will be looking.

Fascinating insects. Also if anyone knows if they will eat lady bugs, who are also garden predators, please comment with the answer.

More than I ever thought I needed to know but found out I did

by Rain Trueax

Tuesday was a morning of panic, which fortunately was eased by gaining information. That morning Paul had killed a bug in our bedroom. Because he hadn’t seen one like it before, he went online and found it likely was a kissing bug (triatomine) and had been full of blood. Their bite can lead to Chagas, [a rather scary disease].


We hoped our bug wasn't this one as some resemble it [how to identify a kissing bug]. It turned out it was-- the blood was a major proof. For us, the scariest part of what we learned didn't involve humans and Chagas-- it was our cats. In some regions, the kissing bug bite can be a death sentence if it leads to Chagas. In everything I read, it said for cats infected, because it can't be cured and they can carry the disease, the only answer is euthanize them. Ack! We bring our cats with us to keep them safe and this could happen? I was in a dither to put it mildly. 

[Kissing bug impact on dogs and cats] 

We went online to look for information specifically to where we are, Tucson. It turns out infection happens when the bug bites and also defecates where it bit. The feces are where the disease causing parasite, Trypanosoma cruzi, can enter a body and lead to the disease and its terrible results. It appears that in this area the kissing bugs do not defecate near the bite. From what I read, the only cases of Chagas in Arizona have been Bisbee and there to people who had traveled to countries where it's more prevalent-- Mexico or South and Central America. 

The link says there may be 300,000 human cases of Chagas in this country with many not showing symptoms as it can lay dormant for as much as 30 years before symptoms show up. Worse, the bug injects a little pain killer with its bite; so victims may not know they were bit. They could think the itching bite later was a mosquito.

Scary scary scary. So we called Tucson experts to get the local situation-- first pest control and then the veterinarian we use when down here. They both assured us no Chagas has come from the kissing bugs here—but the [bugs are here] and in large numbers in some areas. 40% do carry that parasite in their feces but the method of biting is why no cases-- so far.

We were told to spray around our foundation, using one safe for pets in the areas where they go and something else where they don’t. For ecological reasons, I hate spraying for insects (think helpful ones like butterflies, bees, etc.) but there is no option if we want to be safe regarding our cats. 

At the veterinarian's office, the receptionist said she has been bitten by them and her bites have itched a lot for a few days but not other results. Since we have no itches, it looks like the blood our bedroom bug most likely had come from outside before it entered the house. They supposedly hang out in packrat dens and mostly emerge in April when the rats leave the dens. The bug then goes looking for fresh blood sources. 

We then turned to wondering how it got into the house. The screens are tight. It wasn't seen flying in the house. The most likely possibility for me is the laundry. We had hung it out to dry that day and possibly the bug flew into pants or shirts. It was found near the closet where it was killed. 

One other issue is if you see one in your home, don't touch it. Ranch Boss killed this one with a paper towel even before he knew what it was. The probability of getting Chagas from touching the bug would only be if someone had a small open wound.

I had another blog planned for today but this seemed more important. I know many here travel into areas where the kissing bug might have Chagas and be more prone to defecate into the bite. If travelers get home, later get sick, it's important to tell their doctor of the possibility of something that would not be in their home base. Also it's important for those who live in areas where the bugs are possible; and with climate change, those regions might expand. 

For me, after I felt relief that our cats weren't likely to be infected, this is not about panic but about awareness. What Chagas attacks is evidently primarily the heart, and there are treatments for humans. Hopefully, there will be more treatments for animals (for now, horses and cats are out of luck) but the big thing is to tell doctors if symptoms show up (listed in links above). 

Even before this, we had been talking how we needed to both fumigate our trailer and spray with insecticides on its undercarriage to avoid carrying with us something Oregon doesn't want. All travelers should be aware of this as we live in a time where many go to areas where they can bring back something they had not intended.

Butterfly Mysteries

The mystery of the butterflies started out as a simple photograph of butterflies as one afternoon we finally had the camera with us as we sat on the lawn chairs in the garden. There were such big beautiful butterflies flitting around. Like so many people, I find them to be beautiful insects, and their life is interesting with the change from caterpillar to pupae to finally the flying insect we admire so much.

Lots of lovely photos later, I decided to look them up to be sure of the names of these. They looked like swallowtails but what kind? That's where the mystery comes in because Oregon Swallowtails (which I had rather thought them to be), do not migrate and live a year in Oregon, but only in Eastern Oregon, mostly in the rivers that enter into the Columbia. Looking closely at the photos, these are not Oregon Swallowtails; so then what are they?

I am not an insect person generally. I see pretty yellow butterfly and other than monarchs, I just think pretty yellow butterfly with no urge to know exactly what the name is. That is right up until I have these gorgeous photos, wings looking battered, and a blog to write on the topic. And that's when it gets complicated as many photos that look exactly like these are not in my part of Oregon.

As part of this, I went looking for photos of the caterpillars which I felt would be smart as if we want these butterflies (whatever type of swallowtail they might be), we better not be destroying the caterpillar that is them. It looks to me like, no matter which of the many varieties of swallowtails, the caterpillars look a lot alike.

photo from http://mark.rehorst.com/Bug_Photos/

From what I read, the swallowtail caterpillar is drawn to parsley plants, which we do grow here, as well as other herbs, which they might take as second choice. They are about 3" long. 

It kind of looks like the photos below are of tiger swallowtails (although I have yet to confirm that those are in my part of Oregon)... It wasn't the end of the mystery though as it turned out we had two types of butterflies that day which we hadn't noticed until studying the photos.

This next one is different and looks much more like the Oregon Swallowtail, the butterfly that lives in sagebrush country and not here.  It turned out the answer didn't require a climate change to draw a new butterfly to us.

Anise Swallowtails, which also look like Old World Swallowtails, look like the Oregon Swallowtails. Although the Oregon Swallowtail does not migrate, the Anise does. This one though looked less like it had been traveling than the other butterflies that afternoon where their wings had clearly been attacked or worn out.

Monarchs fascinate anyone who understands their story where they migrate but die in a southern climate where they will have laid their eggs. The new butterfly, once it emerges knows to head north to from where the parents had come. 

One time we were up the Clackamas River, hiking into a stream that saw few people. What it did see were thousands of Monarchs having a congregation. We ran into something similar in Montana one June where not thousands but a lot of butterflies had come to one grassy glade. 

Wherever they are seen, I never see a butterfly that it does not attract my eye. Mostly I am content to say--pretty yellow butterfly but we did plant that butterfly bush for them and knowing they like parsley as much as we do, we'll be planting more of it too because the caterpillar, not the beauty of the flying insect, is what has to be nurtured, rather like our own less beautiful parts need to be nurtured to bring out the butterfly in us. Maybe knowing that is why most of us do value the butterfly.

summertime and the living isn't necessarily easy but is gorgeous

When considering what a summer should be, this has been the perfect one for us here at the farm. Hot days but most of the time not too hot. We have not had to bring out the room a/c unit which is an indicator of it being too hot. We don't have central air conditioning here because with the creek, it's only a few days a summer where we might need it.

Sunday we had an exciting thunderstorm with just enough rain to lessen the risks of fires from lightning strikes. It was the kind of storm I have seen more frequently in Arizona with squalls of hail, and thunder rumbling around for about four hours. The main Willamette Valley, to the east of us, got most of the wind, lightning and damage. 

Our vegetable garden is starting to really produce, and we are enjoying thinking up creative ways to use all the tomatoes, zucchini, string beans, corn, and cucumbers we have and soon will have. I think we might make pickles this year. The variety of cucumber we planted has been surprisingly sweet even when bigger (when they usually get a little bitter).

For pickles I am looking for a recipe for spicy, peppery dill pickles as I like that better than a straight dill. We have been considering getting a food dryer as the apple trees are loaded too. There is a lot of bounty to process in some way for the winter.

In the meantime it's good to sit out on the patio and talk, to enjoy the family when we can get together, to dream dreams (I have had some interesting ones), to mix the work that is part of this season with the joy, and to savor these long, warm and lush days. This is Oregon's season to shine.

The only concern will be fire danger. Eastern and Central Oregon got hit hard by the recent lightning storm, and fires are everywhere with enough to have the governor declare a national emergency to enable the National Guard to help. So it's been tough on some regions for the danger and fear. I totally relate to it and we could end up with the same problems as we have in previous years. 

Photos all from July on the farm. I find myself not wanting to leave here because this is the place I'd most want to be if I didn't already live here. I spent some time where dragonflies hang out trying to get some good photos but so far no luck. Just blue blurs. I haven't given up yet. I do though have some wonderful photos of swallowtail butterflies on our butterfly bush, but will save those for next Saturday.

what we can do

 wildflowers-- blue flags

Lately my weeks do not have a pattern to them. There are, of course, those things I must plan-- like getting my teeth cleaned. That requires scheduling. Same with doctor appointments, but generally I can pretty much do what I please. That doesn't mean lie around and eat bonbons, but I guess I could if it was what I wanted.

I remember years, when I had very planned weeks with kids in school and work schedules I had to weave my life around. Today I have freedom to make of my day what I choose. I am captain of my fate-- most of the time. 

As a creative person, I love the freedom to let a day take me wherever it will. My one constant is to write regularly-- but about what can vary quite a lot. Having been a stay-at-home mom, I learned long ago to be disciplined in work. There are always the unexpected additions that can turn a week from what I might have expected to something totally different.

A few weeks back on our little ranch, we began photographing bees. There is something wonderful about watching bees go for pollen. While they make our apple trees more prolific, they also are making honey. I shared those photos here (go back a week or so if you didn't see them). Bees are something I'd have once taken for granted but no longer.

Wild bee and butterfly decline

The article is pretty good about describing what is happening and some possible choices we can make-- for instance not removing all the weeds we could nor using insecticides without realizing that they kill more than nuisance insects... and incidentally what did we think the birds were eating if it's not insects?

I've seen farms on my way to town where they are pulling out what used to be hedgerows, brushy zones between their fields where the wild roses and wildflowers put on a show. Wildflowers are regarded as weeds by those who only value dollar signs. I am sure those farmers are good people but have to be thinking-- wow, another acre if we get rid of all of this unprofitable brush. They probably also figure someone else will save ground for the bunnies, birds, lizards, snakes, and insects. It's always someone else who needs to do it, isn't it?

For all our talk about climate change, the risks we face if the oceans rise and become less saline, we are doing a lot of the damage to our immediate environment with our demand for dandelion free yards, with the love of these big landscapes of mowed grass, and spraying detrimental insecticides all around our homes. I recognize some areas need lawns. It's culturally expected. Those people can compensate for the lawns not being particularly helpful to birds and insects by adding those plants that are.

Years ago we went to a seminar in Corvallis where the speaker was talking about Jesus from the perspective of historic or mythic. He spoke one evening about his interest in the environment by ending lawns on his property. It made total sense to me. The next summer, we restored our front yard to natural environment by plowing it up, putting in a natural waterway (helps a lot when we have too much rain coming off the fields), and planting four trees (actually five but a buck broke one off by rubbing his horns on it). 

The past of that yard carries with it many memories. I remember well how for figteen years I mowed it, finding different patterns to make the job more interesting. Today it's a natural looking landscape as if it had always been this way.

Then a few years later I got the idea of fencing in a veggie and flower garden area next to the house and then giving the sheep the rest. That took a lot of work from Farm Boss but eventually we had it as we do today. Fenced personal space and sheep just beyond. I love it, like hearing them so close, but also they do a neat job on making the lawns look mowed. 

 looking toward our home from the gravel road

If we don't let the sheep be anywhere too long, the weeds, the grass, the shrubs, all benefit from their presence. (the bird feeder had to be moved up for reasons obvious in the photo below).

 below the house and above the creek

Managing range land is part of a rancher's job-- and in this case turning our lawns into pasture benefited them and us. We haven't mowed a yard in years which means no fuel used and a natural environment around the home-- mostly free of poisons... (I swear men do like their sprayers).

 large swarm- more photos earlier this week

So after the individual photos of the bees, we then had the joy of seeing a large swarm that landed in our pear tree for a few hours as their scouts went beyond to find a new home. Generally this happens when hives divide. The old queen takes off when the new queen is ready to take over responsibility for the old hive.  Where we live, what they are looking for are hollow trees. 

The first big swarm took off after a few hours in the pear tree. The next day a smaller swarm landed there. We are not sure if the pear tree is big enough for them but we'd be delighted if it was. Evidently when hives divide, it can involve several stages.

 small swarm

We would love it if the smaller swarm can find our pear tree to be a proper home. Either way we hope they find healthy ground on which to live. 

We don't believe in monoculture. We plant many varieties of shrubs and plants to provide feed for the bees and butterflies. It's the least we can do for insects that keep us in food. It's a good thing for us all to remember next time we reach for an insecticide. Sometimes there is nothing we can do. In many situations, there is. 

Will our small changes be enough? Well like so many choices being made in our culture today, it might not; but at least we will know we did what we could for the small things. In nature's big picture, we're not as important as some of us like to think.

bees on the move

These bees are on the move. May 13th we saw a very active swarm had settled into one of our pear trees. We were not sure if this was to be a location or a rest stop. Turned out to be the latter. With late afternoon, they took off.

If you haven't seen honeybees when they swarm heading for a new home, be sure you watch the second video. Stay with it awhile as you see them not just flying but moving the whole congregation to some unknown destination. Farm Boss then got in his car to drive up the hill to see if he could find where they were going. They disappeared into a forest. They are looking for the right site to build a new life. The process of creating a new queen, why the hive settled near us before taking off, their sending off scouts to find a suitable location is in the following link:

why honeybees go for a new hive

We wish them well and hope they find a insecticide free zone. We humans need to be far more aware how often we actually need to use insecticides as they are hurting insects we need if we hope to keep growing food that requires pollinating.
 

honey bee swarm in pear tree

honey bee hive on the move

bees and blueberries

It was interesting for me to do a whole series, a week long, of bees and blossoms. It's been beautiful to see them hovering over the apple and blueberry blossoms--  but for awhile we had some concern. At first, we did not see honeybees. They had been seen earlier this spring but then we had a hard freeze rather late. We worried that they had lost their home. Bees out here are mostly wild and live in hollow trees along the creek or in the forest. 

Then I saw a bee in the house trying to get out through the glass. It had flown in the cat door. I thought about swatting it-- then thought better of it. I got a plastic glass with a wide mouth, nailed it over the bee and slid a postcard between it and the glass. The bee was safely inside. I was not stung. A win/win when I released it outside. 

When Farm Boss went out with the camera, he got photos of the honeybees to prove they are here. I don't think in the numbers previously, but they can build their population back up.

Perhaps bumblebees could do the jobs of the honeybee in pollinating our fruit, but it should be of concern for us when something we take for granted is not there. I think we need to, as individuals, seriously think about avoiding insecticides. 

If we let the wasps and yellow jackets hang around, they will eat a lot of the insects we'd rather not be here. There are, of course, places we cannot permit a yellow jacket hive, but we need to be sure that is the case before we poison. If we sicken these insects with our overuse of pesticides and removing their natural habitat, where will that leave us???

If you are one who thinks the smallest things don't matter, I don't envy your life in any arena... And no, I do not believe that God will step in and save those who abused this creation-- believer or not believer. Take care of the small things. You're not as important as you think. 

I used the following quote as one my heroine loved from my second Oregon historical. It pretty much says what I think--  

To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

and Eternity in an hour."

William Blake

The photos above are of honeybee and bumblebee. Next week-- look for more photos of bees and blossoms :)

bees and blossoms 6

bumblebees and blossoms 4

bumblees and blossoms 3

bumblees and blossoms2

bumblebees and blossoms

I am ready

A good time to think positive... well, actually every day is good for that. This is one of my photos with the quote on my calendar for April.

When life ends

July 2013

For the last year, off and on, we have been expecting that our oldest cat was on his way out. Rallying, he has surprised us time and again. This last week he had quit eating. It could only be a matter of days. We had decided that if we went on vacation, we'd have taken just him as we couldn't leave him here to die alone.

What we wanted was for him to just go to sleep-- a gentle death for a gentle cat. I can't count the times I would look to see if he was still breathing, but he held on. He'd go outside as soon as he could and lie on the grass in the new yard. He would go over to the slow soaker hose and wait for me to turn it on as he loved to get his water that way, perhaps reminding him of his younger days. He drank some milk which we bought when he stopped eating other food. Up until his last night he would jump up on the sofa to watch a movie with us. That night he came in from outside on  his own four legs, but he went to his basket and didn't leave it.

July 25th, we woke to find he had died in the night. We let the other cats see his body so that they would understand what happened-- as much as maybe they can understand. Blackie would miss him as the two of them nuzzled and licked each other. Pepper never liked him and always growled or swatted if he got close. He never did anything back; so not sure what her issue was but it never changed.

For us, it was a sad event, not unexpected. In some ways, as with other elderly deaths I've been around, the essence of him had already left us. This was just the body finally giving up. We feared he'd get down at some point and we'd be forced to take him into the veterinarian to have him put to sleep. He saw his doctor the last time for his rabies shot in the spring and we all knew that there was nothing seriously wrong just the result of a body shutting down at about eighteen years old. No suffering, just more and more loss of faculties like hearing and bodily strength.

We are guessing at his age because he came as one of our strays. I remember when I first saw him at the house we had bought in Tucson. He'd be on a high shelf in the carport and run away when we came up. In the year 2000, I was at the house alone for a few months and he and I began to try to connect. I'd see him chased up trees by other cats and I'd go chase them off.

July 2000

Finally I tried directly approaching him with my hand out. He came toward me, hissing all the way. We were both taking a chance, but it was the beginning with what I called my black hunk.

He was always our hissy boy for that was the level of his violence toward other cats or humans. He had a quiet dignity that never left him. He was decidedly alpha cat in this house from the time he arrived but never did it with violence, just with demeanor.

His toughness came from having been on his own in that desert wash, which our home set above. It was a dangerous place for a cat but he had managed to survive and kill his food for at least several years. Once in awhile a rabbit's head would appear somewhere which might or might not have been his kill. I'd watch him look innocent, lying near where the birds or rodents were and spring when they got close enough for dinner.

That summer, he and I learned to trust each other, and I let him into the house not sure if he was housebroken to a box, but he was (when he was in the mood). He slept with me and when Farm Boss got down there, he hissed but accepted him too.

I couldn't take him home with me that first time as we were flying; and despite his being around us so much, we weren't totally sure that no one owned him. We asked the person who looks after our house to put cat food on the picnic table out back (which lured in a lot of birds those months) but when we came back in February, we asked again and found no one claimed him. He'd belonged to someone who had moved and asked the new owners to look after him except they really never did. He was known to the people there as B.B. and BB is what we called him for beautiful baby or big baby or black beauty. He was all of those things.

We took him to the veterinarian to get him tested for feline leukemia as we had two cats (not these two) up here in Oregon. He was fine; so he got the rest of his shots. The veterinarian assessed his age at five or six.

We were taking the van we had been leaving at our Arizona property (big mistake as packrats made it undriveable no matter how we tried to leave it protected in its carport). We bought him a cat carrier and off we drove and learned our first important lesson about him-- he didn't travel well.

Farm Boss had gone into a convenience store after fueling up the van. BB was on my lap and when Farm Boss came out, BB panicked and pooped all over my lap. To say that diarrhea came as a surprise is to put it mildly. Those were my favorite jeans. So there I was in a McDonald's parking lot stripping off the jeans with the shelter of the door of the van (could hardly walk into the restaurant with that on them) and changing into something else. If they hadn't been my favorites, they'd have gone into a garbage can but as it was, they went into a plastic bag to be dealt with later.

From then on anytime we ever took BB anywhere in a vehicle, we could count on him to pee and poop in the first few miles, and we took him a lot of times back to Arizona as he dearly loved it there.

May 2012 Tucson

 December 2012 Tucson

Even the last trip he rolled in the dirt, sniffed of the places he'd been as a kitten and then climbed the tree he had as a younger cat, surprising us tremendously. We no longer could let him just roam because he no longer could hear and didn't have the youthful strength to jump up onto the tall pool fence and then onto the roof (one of his favorite places from which to watch). So we'd let him walk around and we'd follow to give him the freedom we could without his ending up coyote food. He was our desert cat, but he did well up here also. He had particularly loved this last hot weather.

When he died, he did it with grace as he had done everything else in his life. BB lived his life fully to the end with bright eyes and alertness, even though deaf.

We buried him in our new garden. He loved being out there. It's my favorite spot to sit and I like knowing he'll be close even if not sitting under my feet. I've shed and likely will continue to shed tears over his loss even knowing this was the best way it could have ended. He had a quality life up to and including death.

You can't have a pet without accepting death as the end-- yours or theirs. He lived to a ripe old age. for a male cat especially, but he will be missed and never forgotten as is the case with all the beloved animals that we have lost through the years. I have to say though, of them all, he's among the most special in my heart.

On a positive note regarding life, that the arborist came out on Wednesday and his assessment is we won't have to cut down any of our trees. Of course, there is some risk living next to white oaks of their size and age (200 years) but there was a logical reason the branch split (drought) and we can do some things (water deeply every three weeks) to make that less likely in the future.

The crew will come out Monday and remove the limb on our roof, pruning back the branches that need to be taken out, but he gave us some ideas for creating props for the trees that are closest to the house enabling them to keep the branches that seem so much part of this place. So compromise and no tree stumps. He called them treasures and we agree with that. He also said they could well make it another hundred years. :)

Finally, the day BB died, a tiny, juvenile praying mantis showed up after Farm Boss had been trimming back a climbing rose. I always think of them as special, a symbol of stillness and peace. We settled the baby on the new hydrangea that had some aphids on its leaves. New life.

This was one of those weeks! I had Farm Boss move Quan Yin into our garden yard right above where BB is buried. I need to find my own peace about this loss. Expected-- yes. A blessing how he died-- yes. Still I grieve the loss as it was part of the love I had for him! He mattered and leaves a hole as all such losses do.