It's a time of dreaming

 by Rain Trueax

 

Pretty much, I dream every night. I do not always remember the dreams. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with one but lose it by morning. It is recommended that we keep a dream journal alongside the bed, but I am more concerned with going right back to sleep and feel that might make it harder. I always wake up knowing I dreamed but often with no memory of the details-- or I remember the ending but not how the characters got there. I've had a few dreams where I have used lucid dreaming to finish a dream-- that can be fun to resolve what the mind playing games with itself has created. Once in a while, I wake from a dream, go back to sleep and take up where I had left off.

dreams and reality as a mix

Basically I am not a person who thinks much about what was. Only once in awhile do I purposely think of what my life has been in the past. I am not sure of the why of this. I more or less have the view that today is what matters and either living in the past or future only leads to less joy in the one time I have.

When my son was 6 months old and my daughter three, I thought-- this is it-- this is as good as my life will ever be. I think I might have been right. It's not that I am unhappy with today. That time, however, was an apex, a mountain top moment. Most of the family I loved was still alive. I had my family, my babies. I was strong, felt empowered. Wow, does it get better than that?

I won't say it does get better. Having your children, before the world draws them away is definitely a high, but there have been a lot of wonderful moments since then. They are ongoing and often come in the most unexpected ways. I've said it before and totally believe it-- the smallest moments are often most filled with joy, and they happen all the time for those aware.

We discovered something last week that totally amazed me. I knew that food growing in the ground is still alive when we cook or eat it. That is I knew it abstractly speaking-- like potatoes sprout if they are not used soon enough. You can cut off a carrot from its top, give the top moisture and it will grow  a new top. What I hadn't known was you can take an onion, peel off it's outer layers, slice off part of it to eat, and that onion is still alive. 

It kind of had me thinking about that. I know some feel eating living plants is different than killing living animals to eat; but how do we know the plant doesn't have feelings also? We sliced off part of this living onion, cooked and ate it but it did not kill the onion. We will plant it in the garden and see what happens, but right now it's been one of those things I had never thought about. Does it make for a bit of a philosophical thought as to what is life?

When I am writing something like the recent paranormal trilogy, it requires my thinking a great deal about life, its meaning, and what we take as reality. My dreams this week have been scary with violent people in them. I don't know if that relates to the books I've been writing or the newspapers. A dream the other night was vibrant, very full of images. I woke remembering it. Understanding why I might have dreamed it and very much hoping I don't get more like it. 

In the dream, I had a friend who was having a kind of gathering of mostly Jewish friends but with some like myself also. So I had been to a similar event this lady had in the past, but this time I was surprised how it had grown in sophistication and popularity, as the room was totally filled with all ages, from when she began with maybe six attendees. She was leading it and said everyone would be given a reading to share. I was nervous whether I'd do well with that and kept looking at mine to be sure I would read it right as others did theirs. When it came my turn, I looked down and saw advertising type words, not the ones that had been there. When I hesitated, the friend running this event told me just read; but when I began, she stopped me as the words didn't fit. I looked down and realized the original words had been a layer over these; they were crumbled on the floor. I'd evidently worried them off by holding them nervously and looking at them so many times. About then, there was a knock at the door. A group of Nazi type neighborhood guys showed up, barging in checking whether the room had too many people in it, using any excuse to harass. One of them stopped in front of me and said I was beautiful. He wanted a kiss. I said no. I was married and pointed to my husband who was talking to some others and oblivious to what was going on. This guy then said, that I was too beautiful for someone else to have me, if he couldn't, and he brought out a knife to either slash my face or kill me. That's when I woke.

There are dreams where i can totally understand the why. Our newspapers could explain this one more than my recent writing, but some aspects of it still surprise me. For instance when I was young and probably was beautiful, though I didn't think much about it at the time, I didn't have dreams where people were always telling me how beautiful I was. Now I do. Is my subconscious trying to reassure me about something? I sure don't spend my days lamenting lost beauty. I understand life has changed as have I, but my mind is on other things. So the popping up of people to tell me this is a mystery to me. In the dream I was probably much younger than today although the event seemed very current. 

The woman having the event is not a close friend in my daily life but someone whose blog I read; so not sure why I'd have had her dominant in the dream as though I really knew her. Characters in my dreams rarely relate to who I am interacting with daily. When my kids are in a dream, it's generally them much younger-- even if I am not.

Also why the violent dreams lately? It's the second one this week where a group is proving dangerous. The last one was going to a parking garage to get my vehicle where nobody was on that level except a threatening youth gang. Again I woke before bad things happened-- even if they seemed eminent.

If I watched violent movies I'd understand this better; but I am being very cautious in what I see-- currently sticking to comedies, musicals, chick flicks, or kid movies. I guess the newspapers are enough because we don't seem as a world community to have learned anything by past mistakes. 

Where it comes to nightmares, I might normally get one several times a year not several times in one week. Can I blame it on the blood moon-- which we didn't get to see thanks to cloud cover?

Finally on this business of great moments. This week when I was taking a catnap, one of the cats came to lay with me-- then the other. They provide so much joy to each other and us. When we lost Pepper, one of those low points, I knew we needed a cat who would work for the three of us. With Raven we found her.

Black Holes

 Warning: After writing this blog and rewriting it and realizing my mind is not only in hyper-drive these days but has a bit of a chaos issue going on with too many issues roiling around, it may not flow well or make a lot of sense to you. I know the subject makes sense-- black holes.  Explaining them, well that's a whole other story; but if the blog is ever going to go out, it has to go-- as is.

The other day Parapluie and I were talking as I mentioned waking up at 3 AM and feeling depressed about the black holes in my life. She asked what that meant. As we talked, I thought how I had mentioned black holes earlier in this blog, and it would be a good topic to explore more deeply here.

In space, a black hole is a bit of a space mystery. They are part of the energy continuum, at least as best I understand them. They are a region which can suck energy into them, and it cannot escape. Scientists, with better telescopes and able to look from further out, are learning more about them; but in general they appear to take energy for what seem to be unknown purposes. They are sinkholes, quicksand, suctions that draw into them energy but never (apparently) release it. Black holes continue to grow by absorbing energy through taking what is around them. When something goes into a black hole, science can no longer see or measure it. The term is obviously complex and my simple explanation doesn't do it justice but for my purposes, it explains how I use the term for my own life.  Wikipedia on Black Holes.

Okay so that's the science end of it. My end of how I see my own black holes. They are energy gobblers, and there are several types. My dividing them that way leads to what I try to do about them. Black holes to me represent those things that are not all I want them to be and that fact is bothering me.

When a black hole is just about worrying; but I can't do a thing about it, I try to eliminate them from my mind. This can especially be politics when it's in regions I have no influence at all. Other black holes seem more positive as they show me there is a problem and I can fix it if I just want to enough. Waking up at 3 AM and fretting over something is good motivation to do exactly that.

So maybe in our lives, black holes can have a purpose if we recognize them as sucking our energy and then break them into piles. One pile for those where we have no control. These are good ones to list on a piece of paper that is then burned. Whenever they come into our minds, we push them away. If we have no part of being a solution, weren't part of the problem, then they are sucking energy away from us for no purpose.

Politics can be that way. When politics start reaching a level where I am not just learning what is going on but actually worrying about it, I know I need a break. Politics is one of those areas that can though be a negative but also a positive where it comes to energy. When we can write about it, talk about it to possibly influence others, donate and volunteer, it's a positive. When it's just worrying, it's a black hole that needs to go.

There are other things in a person's life that are the kind of black hole you want to eliminate from any time. One example is relationships you cannot fix. If say you have a parent who did wrong by you, but you cannot fix it; you didn't cause it; it's past being repaired, then what is the point of letting it suck energy? These make for great books but not necessarily good in our lives as they can ruin what we can fix.

So a positive use of a black hole, for those things I cannot change, is two-fold. One is stop letting it have any airtime if I really cannot do anything regarding it. But supposing what I need to do is not external but internal as in forgiving that person, even though they are no longer in my life? Than the constant awareness of this energy sucker is actually a warning to do something about it because it is bothering us and could pop up as a physical problem next. Often when a black hole has been bugging me like this, there is something I need to do. When I do it, it disappears.

In the let-it-be category, right now for me, would fit whether my books ever sell on eBook sites. That's obviously not easy to do.  I have things I can do like get places where people, who might like stories that aren't a standard genre, actually would find them. But in the end, I can't impact what others choose to buy. Worrying about it would be a pointless black hole but working to get the books to be all I can make them as well as to find the places I can do promotions, that's a positive use of a black hole.

I think my attitude toward this, which is do the best job I can while releasing the results, that comes from years of doing creative work like painting and sculpting and having to face the same issue-- control the work and let how others see it be their thing not mine.

The best use of black holes is when I let them alert me to things where I can change it but am not. When I lie awake at night thinking-- I am not eating right. I am not exercising enough, it sucks my energy and why? Because I won't do what I could do. Waking at 3 AM and finding it hard to go back to sleep because of fretting over something I can change alerts me. I then recognize not only do I have something I am not being healthy about but I could change it. My awareness they are bugging me in the middle of the night increases my motivation to deal with them more effectively when daylight comes.

Black holes can be the same kind of warning signals that pain is. They are an alert that energy is draining away and we can either stop letting it or fix the problem.

Next is a blog on an example of positive energy from the skies-- and closer to home.

A Circuitous Route

The Fellowship Quiz

Pickering Affair reveals more about the Fellowship than about adultery

Politician's Scandals elevate the spiritual haven on C Street SE

C Street House Group touts plan for Christian world control.

So you right wingers wonder why we on the left have worried about the current Republican party? Wonder why Obama would be like a breath of fresh air to us? Read a few of those links. Ideally all of them. You know mostly I tend to think that what someone believes is not my business. Does it work for them? Great.

Except can I, not someone who wants to see Christian world dominion, not someone who expects Jesus's return any day, not someone who believes in a fundamentalist god, not someone who thinks that what fundamentalism teaches is good for humans, for life, for quality living, not even for love, how can I not feel threatened by these ideas and those who want to force them on all of us?

If you are a Christian, one of the fundamentalists, then you think what you read in those links above is good and the only hope for the world. To you, it is a spiritual war between good and evil and you are clear as to which is which. If you are not, however, then I'd like to share something with you about a dream of mine.

It was last week and I woke up remembering that I had been making sandwiches, a lot of sandwiches. Sounds mundane, right? The last sandwich was weird as I had made it with all the meat outside of a small piece of bread. Much meat. Little bread. Kind of a messy sandwich with no idea why I would make such a thing. I didn't feel upset at making it but couldn't figure out why.

The first thing I thought when I woke up was that it related to the Bible, to some book in the Letters of the Apostles, and something I had been missing. I had no idea how or even why I would have drawn that connection but I got out one of my many Bibles and began reading.

In the past, using different translations, I have read the Bible through (that means from start to finish) more than 6 times and been heavily involved in Bible studies-- very in depth Bible studies. I thought I knew it pretty well, and I did but what I saw when I went back to it was a new thought to me-- or maybe an old thought that I have come back to seeing.

Lately I have taken to calling many in today's church christianists because I thought they missed the point of the early church. I thought they had gone off on tangents regarding things that don't even appear in the Bible. It took me awhile after reading to realize that these people, like the pastor in California who is proud to say he's praying for Obama's death, like these people trying to take over our country and mandate everyone do what they see as righteous (when they don't even live that way themselves), that they are the Christian Church. Read the vindictiveness of the Apostle Paul's words, right after he has talked about things like love and god, and you see it's nothing new for today.

The bread in my sandwich was what Christ taught and it has been smothered by meat, big gooey, and rich meat that satisfies people but it's not what Christ said he was. If we are going to take the words of Christ to have been his words, debatable since it was the early church that decided what was to be thrown out (yeah, I know after being channeled... channeling which is so evil in anybody else).

That first group of people who named themselves Christians immediately set out to form a set of rules and an organization to fit what Jesus said. It would be a new religion with the power of miracles and the might of God. Jesus never began that religion. He was speaking of relationships but mankind likes religions and this group formed a doozy.

Jesus wasn't named Jesus and whether he said the exact words, well like I said, you have to believe in channeling. Which is evidently okay in someone like Loren Cunningham, who through direct message from god, formed the group linked above. He was given the 7 mountains to conquer as part of taking over the world for Christianity.

Way back, whatever didn't fit the doctrine the Apostle Paul wanted set up was thrown away to reappear centuries later in scrolls that were discovered in caves, the Gnostic Gospels. Keep in mind that Paul, the major founder of the church, wasn't a follower of Christ until after the Crucifixion. He was extremely knowledgeable in the law as he had been a member of the Jewish religious aristocracy. After a supposed godly encounter on the road to Damascus, he turned that knowledge into setting up this new religion.

In his writings, the Apostle Paul often whined and complained, begged others to do his will and threatened consequences to those who failed. He was the real forefather for the church we see today.

The sad thing for me is to wonder what truths might mankind have discovered if Paul hadn't done that? Did he come to build up Jesus's church, something Christ never asked him to do (unless we take his word for it), or did he come to subvert it? The things Jesus talked about like caring for the sick, watching out for greed, charity for the poor, being wary of pride, compassion, caring, love, sharing, those things were the bread that have been swallowed by meat. Men like meat a lot but let's not bother calling it godly.

(Incidentally I am not trying to say that there are not followers of Jesus today who follow the rule of love. Those followers are likely to sound a little like socialists.)

Dream work

One of my interests has been dream analysis partly or maybe mainly because I have very vivid, colorful dreams. Most of mine are easy to understand. They relate to what I am doing during the day or sometimes are a fantasy story that I create for amusement, much like watching a movie. Some though, I have come to believe, are to give me insights into my life. June 11th, I awoke from such a dream.

In the dream I was painting on a large canvas. Parapluie was also painting but elsewhere and not sure what she was painting, but mine started out looking toward a waterfall and painting it, then I added an old barn, a goldfish and its fishbowl. Nothing was going very well. The goldfish was coming out the worst as it seemed to get smeared with the bright orange paint. The old barn was changed into one fallen down.

The dream was a frustration and even though a friend was nearby, she wasn't really part of either the frustration or the solution. There were three key elements, none of which seemed to go together-- goldfish in bowl of water, waterfall, and old barn or its remains. Basically as frustrating as I sometimes find painting, dreaming about painting was worse. Despite painting for years, I don't remember ever dreaming about doing it.

The reason I thought this dream might be trying to tell me something was because nothing in it fit together.

Sometimes, when I have what seems to me to be major dreams, I do a digital painting of the parts. As I worked on this one, I tried to keep the sketch to what it had felt like in the dream-- a little misty, not very good-- and putting the basic elements where they had been. I might have improved the goldfish a little...

I do not try to interpret every dream. Most are just mind traffic; but when I do, I start by thinking what I believe it meant to me. In this case, the main feeling I had was frustration that I could not make the painting work. I was in the position of creating it and deciding what went into it but nothing was going well or fit together. I think the dream reflected my desire to create my life, to get things how I want them to be and my feeling that things keep changing and I can't get a clear vision for what should be done.

Why would I do a painting of those three elements together? To find their potential meanings, I went to the dream dictionary that is my favorite:

Dream Dictionary

To see a waterfall in your dream, is symbolic of letting go. You are releasing all those pent up emotions and negative feelings. The dream may also represent your goals and desires. In particular, if the waterfall is clear, then it represents revitalization, regeneration and renewal.

To see a barn in your dream, signifies feelings kept in your unconscious. There is a possibility that you may be holding back your instinctual action or natural urges. [So when I collapsed it in the painting, perhaps it means I know I need to stop holding back?]

To see a goldfish in your dream, signifies, wealth, success, and pleasant adventures. Alternatively, goldfish represents some important emotional matter or valuable insight. [The goldfish was the main element I was having trouble painting.]

I thought since I saw the goldfish in a bowl, it wouldn't hurt to look that up also. To see a bowl in your dream, symbolizes the womb and sense of security. Consider the condition of the bowl and how it is treated or handled in the dream. This may offer clues as to how you feel you are being treated in a particular relationship.

The only really strong color in the dream was the goldfish and that was emphasized by repainting it several times-- unsuccessfully: Orange denotes hope, friendliness, courtesy, lively, sociability, and an out-going nature. You may want to expand your horizons and look into new interests.

Since my reason for doing this blog was to give others an idea of how to work with dreams, I won't go further with my own interpretation of this one. I will say it was helpful to me. Sometimes when we hear a message from our subconscious, we take it more seriously.

One more point, interesting to me at least, was that the night of the 10-11th, others said they had similar type dreams with different elements but similarly feelings of frustration as they tried to master something that wasn't working. Maybe insight waves come through that we can catch-- or not.

Some say they don't dream; but if we sleep deeply, we all dream. It's a question of what we do with them. If we are not in a habit of using them, perhaps we lose them. Our subconscious knows what we dreamed even if we don't. It might be impacting our daytime (positively or negatively) but we are unaware of how. I believe it's worth the work of trying to retrieve dreams.

There are many tools to help that happen. When going to bed at night, ask for a meaningful, helpful dream. When waking in the middle of the night with one, stop and write it down. No matter how vivid nighttime dreams seem to be for me at the time, by morning I rarely remember mine either.

A useful tool is a dream journal alongside the bed, then writing down the dream and its elements while they are fresh. Do this even if dreams don't seem important because it's building a skill. For me, telling someone the dream right away, which of course requires someone else in the bed, helps me remember them later. Maybe saying them out loud without someone would do the same thing, not sure.

Think of the emotions in the dream, what you think it might have meant before going to a good dream site or book to look for possible meanings to things like say goldfish. I also like doing a small painting of them (digital makes that very easy) as I am thinking how this could apply to my daily life.

To me, meaningful dreams are an encouragement that there is more to us than flesh and bone. We do have a 'spiritual' nature, something we cannot explain by logic, whatever someone might want to label it.

a dream of the nighttime sort

Last week I had a lot of negative nighttime dreams. If you do dream work, you know that the average dream comes out of daytime events. In my opinion, most don't have a message as such. When so many are negative, it can be reflective of something read, seen, or simply routine daytime tensions. The outside world provides plenty of those these days.

Nightmares are rare for me but one nightmare last week was set in a small town (not one I know) and about bigotry, people choosing sides and it became very violent. Quite a vivid dream, but I did not see any message for me beyond the story. Although the bomb blast was very colorful, like seeing it in 3-D.

The rest of the dreams I won't go into but they were routine tension inspiring. If I was tense during the day, I was more so every time I'd wake up from these nothing-is-going-right dreams.

Then came Friday night's dream and a change of pattern. The story was a simple one. I was with a family, which in the dream was my family, but not sure they were my family today. Children, adults, a mother figure, myself, lots of activity.

Someone broke a glass leaving shards all over the floor. I was concerned children with bare feet might step on the pieces and began carefully picking them up. When I had one hand full of sharp pieces, I hoped I had them all and headed for where I could throw them away.

To get to a safe place to dispose of them, I had to go through a narrow slot where it quickly became obvious it was going to be necessary to use both hands and slide carefully through.

In dreams, places often shift; and this narrow space was nothing like the house but more like a very low cliff with a narrow gate opening. With a hand full of glass shards, there was no way to get through. What to do? Put down the glass pieces and risk not finding them all endangering the family still? Find another path? It didn't seem like there was another path.

Then I said to myself, this is just a dream, I don't need to keep my hand closed to go on. There is no glass to drop or hurt anybody. It felt like I actually had my hand clenched in my sleep, opened it; and of course, no glass fell.

What happened is the kind of thing I experience once in awhile in a dream. It can be called lucid dreaming. It's where in your dream you realize you are dreaming and take control of the events. Your conscious mind enters into the dream and changes it to a more suitable conclusion.

This one though I also would call a medicine dream-- my own term for when a dream has a message in it for my life. In this case, it was that I can let go of the things I am trying to hold onto as a way to protect others. What I am so afraid of releasing often is no more real than the shards in the dream.

I/We can control of our own lives when we do not let what is unreal have power over us. This is especially true when we are trying to do things thinking they will protect others. To me, the dream was a reminder of what I know, but the idea had more power when it came through a dream.

(There was no ocean in the dream but I had so many pictures from the coast that I wanted to slide a few more in somewhere. In a way, the sea is like dreaming-- wide, expansive, and seemingly unlimited-- okay, yeah, that was a justification.)

Snakes everywhere

Before you decide I have gone completely off the deep end, consider reading the whole article by Sean Penn for The Nation magazine and also in Huffington Post. It is a long one and complex.

Yes, I know how many people dislike Penn and worse dislike the people he is writing about, but just give it a chance even though it's about names whom you think you already know all there is to know-- Hugo Chavez, Raul and Fidel Castro. Penn is writing about what he, as an ordinary citizen with extraordinary opportunities, has observed when traveling to both Cuba and Venezuela. I hear you saying what does he know? These are all bad guys. We know all we need to know. Do we?

How much do we really know about leaders around the world, about what is going on in other countries? Does our media inform us or is it a propaganda arm for the government-- whichever government? Penn titled his article 'A Mountain of Snakes' because of that with which we have to deal as people. Who are the snakes?

A lot of people have been suspicious of Penn being a socialist or wanta be communist because of where he has visited and what he has talked about; or they see him as a dumb actor who should stay out of world problems and politics. Most of all, those are the people who should read his article all the way through. Read it and think about it for awhile. Do we get the whole story in our country? Do we really have a free press? Government doesn't dictate to our press as they do in some nations; but what does dictate the stories we hear about? Do either party want us knowing what is going on elsewhere?

We have one segment of America who wants to praise everything our country does as we can have done no wrong and have no wrongs to overcome. They are the ones who were so offended when Obama said the Constitution was not perfect. They are the ones who ignore that the Constitution at one time forbid women and blacks from voting (or maybe they think that was the right idea).

We have another segment who sees us as the biggest evil in the world and that this country has done no good. I am not sure where they would direct our future because they don't see us as having one. Some relish the idea of all humans being destroyed, as though other animals would do a better job of running things. Wherever they think we should go, they don't like anything about where we are.

The world today is a very confusing place. We read something, and we don't know whether it's true or spin. And it's not just our country. This is a worldwide problem. Which leaders should we trust? What obligations do we have to others? What will happen if we try to fix this or that? What are the unintended consequences of our actions-- or inaction?

Penn's title to his article reminded me of something else I had read in Lynn's World. Before the election, a woman told Lynn that she had a dream where she saw snakes everywhere and had decided it meant Obama was evil. She feared what he would do if elected. Lynn, who is an astrologer, wrote about Obama's chart and how she saw him (she is/was a supporter).

Some years ago, I had the only dream I have ever had about snakes. It was before we moved down to this farm; but we were arranging to buy the property. In the dream, I was with a lot of people I didn't know and inside a building which was a church. Outside were snakes writhing on the ground everywhere. I woke up wondering what did that mean? Was it an omen? Was this farm to be a bad place? Was the church we ended up joining the bad place?

I have seen snakes many times since that dream but never have dreamed of even one again. A mountain of snakes is a frightening concept. Sometimes in Eastern Oregon, people come across rattlesnake balls as they gather together to hibernate for winter or come out of hibernation. I haven't seen such a thing but earlier this year did see photos of them in Arizona, snakes everywhere and not a place anybody wants to be who isn't a snake. It's frightening imagery.

Penn used the analogy to illustrate not just our risks, but I think how hard it is to unwind the truth. Journal style, he wrote about what he observed; and for his courage in going out into the world, in trying to make a difference, I have to admire him. It's not easy to go against the popular viewpoint.

It's especially bad if you say anything remotely good about what either Chavez or Castro have done in their countries. For one thing, what they have done might not be what they will do. To be honest, when I remember reading he had gone down to Venezuela earlier this year, I thought oh no. After reading his article, I think it was good he went. It lets us look at another viewpoint beyond our usual one.

Snakes reflect uncertainty, dangers, hidden risks. Whenever I have seen big ones in Arizona and I have seen a few very big poisonous ones, it always stops my heart a moment; but one of the most frightening of those times was coming home from the store, and my cat was sitting on the front porch looking at a huge snake that at first glance looked a lot like a diamondback rattler.

A ton of thoughts went through my head. Had he been bitten? That snake is huge. If I grab up my cat, who didn't seem at all afraid, would I get bitten? The snake wasn't looking at him but my cat was fascinated with the snake. Did he think he could eat the snake?

Then I stopped to look more closely. No rattles. Head was not shaped like a diamondback. It was actually a big bull snake, at least a four foot long, thick bodied and colored just like a diamondback; but nevertheless, one of the good guys.

I reached down and grabbed my cat while the snake continued to ignore us both. The cat and I went in the back door. I focused my camera for one good shot before the snake left the home zone. He was never a danger to me, but the fear was definitely real for that moment before I could analyze the facts of the situation.

I think reading articles like Penn's, even if you have never liked him at all, is a start in being able to assess our current dangers. He was there. He observed something. What do you think about it? Whether you disagree or agree, you can't assess it if you won't look.

The point of his story was not that we should make Chavez or Castro our new best friends. He was just writing what he personally observed with those leaders and in those countries. He could go where we cannot. As I best understood him, the snakes are that we don't know the full truth, and it benefits a certain group to keep it that way. It's that mob mentality, of the Black Friday sales, that often is the government and media's main schtick.

Yes, there are dangerous snakes out there, and there are those that are not. Being afraid to look, ignoring all possible facts, won't help us figure out which is which or deal with any situation realistically. Can we trust our leaders to do it all for us or should we be informed also?

Dreaming a blog about politics? oh no!

Monday morning I awoke having written a wonderful blog in those few moments before full wakefulness. Too bad I didn't remember any of it once I was fully awake. I remember thinking I should write about it except it was political... dum de dum dum. I wasn't going to write about politics for awhile even though I had one more written but never posted on politics and beauty.

I agree with what Andrew Sullivan said in his blog about how obsessed many of us have become with everything happening in the political realm. We turn on the internet, read some newspapers, some blogs (in my case right and left wing), make some comments, read some comments, then later in the day (for me) turn on the TV for news and to listen to pundits saying what happened and what mattered (appropriate puppy choice was big one day). When Farm Boss would get home, we'd regurgitate back to each other what we had absorbed during the day. What are he and I going to talk about now?

Tell me, is that a healthy lifestyle; but even if you weren't writing a political blog, it's what many people did. If you were, well, how can you write about something if you aren't exploring all sides of it? If you haven't read the links, don't know what's being said, you might be more peaceful, but your blog is probably on cooking, nature or something equally peaceful (fortunately not inclined to get nasty comments hurled back unless a recipe failed)-- not that I put down the value of such blogs as I have more than a few bookmarked where I lust over the images of delicious meals or beautiful nature photos.

Although my blog hasn't always been so political, during this fall, it went into everything that happened and all the issues or factors that seemed important to me. I read extensively, thought about it all, my blood pressure rose, and I knew that whether Obama or McCain won, when the election was over, I wanted to let the results go. I am finding it's hard to do.

For one thing, if you are a writer, could there have been a more fascinating cast of characters as they interacted with each other, did the expected, the unexpected, and led other people to react in ways that sometimes blew an observer's mind.

Who would have guessed Joe the Plumber would become a major character, a policy expert on foreign affairs for of all people John McCain? Joe is still getting free drinks in NYC off his fame. Could that have happened in any novel anybody imagined writing?

Or Sarah Palin, Sarah the beautiful, a fascinating (not necessarily a compliment) woman who seemed oblivious to a lot of what the rest of us consider to be critical for a potential president to know, oblivious to why it mattered. She saw only one thing as important-- win. For her admirers, she didn't need to know anything.

To them, Palin was a wild woman from the far North who could praise the lord, shoot her own moose, dress and cook it, put on a cocktail dress that night and still wow all the men in the room while making all the women envious, pop out five babies, and still have a perfect figure that could put $150,000 + worth of clothes to good use.

To me, she was a frightening choice to possibly be president and not just for her extreme religious views. There was the way she delighted in stirring up hatred. Watching her on those podiums, you could see how that didn't make her uneasy but empowered her. Yet, could anyone find her boring which is why we are still inundated with stories about her. Do I wish she'd go away? You betcha. People who think like she does religiously scare me no matter what their religion. Do I think she will go away, not on a bet!

Should I include Joe Biden in any character study? It's hard to do so. He's harder, because to me, he's just Joe. We have known him a long time, seen how he can say the wrong thing, know he's charisma challenged (something from which none of the other three on the ballot have suffered), but that he's solid on his knowledge about government and the world. He's been there and he has paid attention. I guess he's the solid one. The one the villain has to get around, the one who holds the ground in bad times for the hero to come to the rescue? I don't know. What do you think?

John McCain is a great character to study. That man was full of surprises (a lot of them not good). Once in awhile, as though a fog would lift, we'd see the man we used to believe he was, then it'd settle in again. Was there anyone who saw his humorous bit for the NYC charitable foundation dinner, and didn't think why wasn't this man running for president? Who was that other guy-- the one, who using a snide tone, asked us who Obama was, when the real mystery was who was John McCain?

I'd like to think McCain was the man for whom, in order to vote in the 2000 primary, I almost changed my party registration before he was booted by Bush/Rove dirty tricks. It's painful to think he was the man who used those same dirty tricksters to try and win his own presidency.

I'd like to think John McCain is the man, who I said early in this campaign season, that even though I thought he'd be the hardest to beat, I hoped the Republicans would choose because he was the best of their lot. Will we see that man again in the Senate? Has he been freed from whatever spell of ambition sucked him into that other guy, his evil twin? I hope so. The country needs the man I once thought he was and now hope he is.

And finally Barack Obama, centerpiece of the story, the supposed mystery man, who nobody knew his policies even though he'd written books on them, had a lengthy website explaining them all. Obama did have a secret he had to mostly hide. No, it's not that he's a terrorist or a Muslim. He's a wonk. If he had fully revealed himself ahead of time, he'd have never gotten elected.

He had to hide behind a charismatic personality which he can still don when needed, but inside is this guy who loves policy discussions, who can finally carry his own briefcase, who became a Constitutional law scholar, who goes into press conferences without answers memorized because he operates from his principles and facts he knows he can draw upon... until he pops out seance and boom, is wishing he'd memorized everything.

I see Obama as a man well equipped to be leader by his background and temperament. He will be interesting because he's not the far leftie some had feared and others hoped but he has the hero goal-- do what is good for others. Having someone articulate in that office will be welcome. I hope the Secret Service is alert and watching all the time because the hero I see in him is not how he is seen by all. Yes, he is the hero type where a novel centers around his successes, failures and foibles.

I think if I write about politics over the next few months, and it's inevitable that I will (you don't give up an addiction over night), it'll be mostly about character and personality-- red meat to a writer. Ahead might lie more interesting stories. Maybe some new villains or old ones reappearing. Hopefully with happy endings. I love happy endings.

And that dream blog, well I hope it'll all come back to me. Maybe tomorrow morning. I wish I could find a way to record what goes on in my head right before waking.... on the other hand...

Maya's Granny

This afternoon reading the blogs, I learned Maya's Granny has passed away. It seems this has been a hard week-end with Tim Russert passing away on Friday. Though most of us never met him, he came into our living rooms and gave us information making us feel we did know him. Suddenly he was gone and it seemed way before his time.

Blogs also form a kind of distant community where we may never physically meet; but we get to feeling we know each other; and so it was for many of us with Maya's Granny. It is a loss for us but of course nothing like for her family and close friends. I won't go into details regarding any of it as you can read her blog for yourself if you were one of her many fans. If you hadn't ever read her words, go there, check back through her archives, and you might just become a fan: Maya's Granny.

Life comes and goes. It is a cycle and we all know we will one day pass to the other side; or if we don't believe in another side, that we will be no more. I do believe in another side. I think that a dream her daughter had shortly before her mother died was telling her how it is now for her mother. I am not going to repeat the dream here because you can go there to read it for yourself and form your own opinion what it meant.

Life is beautiful, tragic, filled with love and sometimes hate, laughter and tears. If you believe as I do, it is also mysterious. Even believing there is more to life than the flesh we know today, still I feel teary about a good woman dying prematurely but also warm inside thinking of her daughter's dream that fits with so much of what I believe. Yes, there is more here than we know.

"Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand -- and melting like a snowflake."
Sir Francis Bacon

youth in leadership

When I wake up in the morning, I don't open my eyes right away unless I must as I try to access the things that came from the night. Sometimes that will be a detailed remembering of a dream. Other times I won't remember the dream events, but I am left with some ideas which might be about my personal life or broader concepts.

We spend about 1/3 of our life sleeping if we get the traditional 8 hours. Some might consider those hours to be only about our body resting, but they can be beneficial for working through problems. We can plant both intentions and ideas to consider before we go to sleep. It's why it's good to take those moments right at waking to see if anything came from our subconscious.

Yesterday morning my thinking was on politics and in particular the issue of youth in leadership. Many say that Barack Obama at 46 is too young to lead this country. The argument goes: Give him more years in DC to see how things are done and then he'll be ready.

John McCain, for obvious reasons, is hoping to make that case to the American people. He has been in DC a long time. He knows all the ropes and he claims he can reform the system. McCain said it Tuesday night that reform is what we need, not change. Just add on more layers, tweak what has been done, eliminate some government programs (most especially if they benefit the poor), and absolutely, we can have everything working like clockwork.

What I woke up thinking was about the great leaders of the past and what ages were they when they took power and changed the world of their time. We all know about Alexander the Great being only 30 something when he died and had already conquered an empire by then. When I got up, I looked for the ages of a few others.

Napoleon took over as absolute leader of France at 35. Genghis Khan united his world and came into power at 44. Julius Caesar had conquered the known world, completely changing Roman power by the time he was killed at 55. George Washington was 43 when he was given command of the Continental Army to fight the Revolutionary War for the next 6 years. Abraham Lincoln began his presidency and managing the Civil War at 52. At 28 Mao-tse-tung was one of the founding members of the Communist party in China beginning a philosophy and process that would completely overturn a government by the time he reached 57.

In the corporate world most of the current corporate heads are in their 50s but many got their inventive ideas much younger and some current technical empires were begun by men in their 20s who looked at what might be not just at what had been.

Some years back I read a book about how it required one generation dying off for new ideas to really take hold. The writer was referring to ideas we would take for granted today (most of us), like that the earth wasn't the center of the universe.

In short young men have done a lot of world changing. Not to say old men cannot but youth is no reason to prejudge that a man can't manage a country or an army. It is more about judgment, the strength of their goals, sense of who they are, ability to work with and lead others, and whether they are willing to question how things have been, changing them completely if they aren't working.

Being old does not mean someone cannot be open to change; but being young and outside the system could mean they are not as locked into protecting the status quo. It might be when they are told it's always been this way and it always will be that they are not so apt to bow their head and give up.

When John McCain talks about reform, it's taking the existing system and rearranging it or frosting it. Can he think outside the box, come up with new paradigms for making our system work from the bottom up. That is something you don't hear much about from Republicans who prefer to start from the top and hope it trickles to the bottom. Democrats believe that what trickles down isn't what you want on you.

Obama said the other night that it's time to make our country work from the bottom up. That struck a chord with me. It might be the biggest difference between Democrats and Republicans. Where do you start to fix the problems?

There might be valid reasons for people to not like Obama's policy ideas, just as there are valid reasons to agree with them, but one of the reasons to not vote for him should not be his age. That could be a plus. It's not that McCain is necessarily too old but more that he might be too invested in protecting the existing system to really make a difference. I believe a difference is what we need now.

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For fun, check out this conversation with Andrew Sullivan on some current political thinking: Conversation around a table that isn't there.

So it begins

In my dream, I was painting a large rather abstracted portrait of a man. He was a little like a painting I created forty years ago of a man crouching, his hands folded over his knees, very impressionistic. This one was less dark with many bright, very intense colors. As I worked a bit on his hands, I realized the painting had created images I hadn't planned. First I saw a ghostly group of four cowboys looking into the distance, lined up as though waiting for something or seeing a sunset.

When I looked to another part of the painting, I saw it all change. It was as though whatever line you saw first, that made the painting into something else and this time I saw a young woman sitting in the corner of a kitchen with two small children across the room from her.

If I tried to make the man clearer, the other images would be lost; so I settled for trying to make the abstract painting work, not look for the images and then when it was done, hope they would all be there or maybe different ones.

Except in a dream, no painting like that would really be possible, not even with digital. Trying to make other images be hidden is a common trick in painting but this was bigger than that. It was what happened, not what you made happen as the artist.

The dream was likely impacted by my own painting right now but more about the way the world appears to be. It is like a big mosaic of color and wherever you look, that is where you see the absolute, total and only truth. Except if you look elsewhere, center yourself there, don't look away, the truth shifts and it's not the same one. We think we know the truth and so does everybody else who sees it differently.

I am excited about Barack Obama having enough delegates to secure the nomination for the presidency. I am excited that many people looked at him for who he was, not his skin color and voted for him. I am not excited that many people looked at his skin color alone and found a reason to not vote for him.

The battle to change this country has just begun. The election process this fall will be brutal. The lies will be everywhere. I have heard a lot of them and it amazes me that anybody believes any of it. Barack Obama is not just multiracial, he is multicultural. That scares many people. They trust what they know. They did that when they voted for George Bush.

So those, who want our next president to be Barack, have to donate what money and time they can to the cause of getting him elected. They have to bat down the brutal and vicious lies that are going to come at them. Research research research. Good things don't come easy. When those emails come in with the charges that are intended to frighten or anger, look for whether they are true before passing them on. Don't doubt for a second they will be coming because it has worked before.

For those who believe in prayer, pray that there will be protection for Obama. For those who believe in white light protection, think of it around him whenever it comes to your mind. Don't allow anybody to repeat anything that could encourage violence-- not even in a joke. I have seen enough political assassinations to know that there are those who see that as the answer to anything that frightens or seems to threaten their existing order.

The distortions are ridiculous that we hear even from the mainstream media. They become fixated on something like a flag pin. It takes a lot to get genuine information on any subject. The internet is a good place to bypass the mainstream medias, but it takes being discerning even there. It's an obvious truth but bears repeating to ourselves every so often-- not every written word is truth.

On one of the current arguments going around that Hillary Clinton won the most popular votes; therefore she at the least should be Vice President. It ignores some states do caucuses, that Rush Limbaugh was encouraging some of his fans to vote for her to create chaos in the nominating process. It is a silly thing to say anyway, but silly things work if people are easily led. A coach said something that put that argument in perspective. From now on, he suggested, each season let's just count up the total points scored at the end and regardless of games won or lost, the team with the most points wins. I liked that. I also would remind voters that Al Gore had 3 million more votes in 2000 than George Bush. Who was president next?

So it's a good day and a day to be proud. I hadn't thought of it but one of the pundits said this is the first western type nation to select an African-American to run for their leader. He's not there yet and it's a long road ahead, but it is surprising that for all the bigotry we are accused of, we would be the first nation to look beyond a man's skin color and vote for him on his abilities. They say young people are more like that anyway, not letting superficial differences cloud their judgment about who someone is. Sure some voted for him because he was black but they weren't enough to bring him to this point. So it is a day to feel good but it's a long way from over.

Dreams and their meanings-- or not

Whenever I have an interesting dream, I always wish I would also find how it applies to my life. Is my subconscious trying to help me see something that my conscious is missing? I have had many symbolic dreams although some have taken years to fully understand. When a dream is particularly vivid, I make more effort to find meaning to the symbols, story, or both.

May 5th, I woke while it was still dark, and in my mind was one of those dreams. I lay knowing I would go back to sleep but wanting to remember all of what had been in the dream; so I could hold onto it for later. When I looked at the clock, it was 4:17 AM. The new moon would be an hour later. Not that it necessarily applies, but many have said that was a powerful time astrologically.

Later that morning, when I wrote down the dream, I felt pleased as I haven't had such a detailed story dream in quite awhile. More often I know I may have had one but can't remember what happened when I wake up. This time the dream was firmly planted.

After I'd written the dream elements down, I spent some time thinking about its meaning. No recent movies or books could explain why. Was there a purpose besides being enjoyable?

Because I do write, I considered whether it was meant to become a manuscript. Unlikely. Although the story was interesting to me, it was sparse for events. I have gotten story ideas started this way, but this one would have an added problem. To write an historical romance about the Middle Ages, where it appeared to have been set, would take a lot of research as those readers know their period and expect any author to know it likewise. Although I have read books from that era (nothing in years), I don't know enough. Nor have I ever had interest in doing extensive research into that time.

There was an obvious second question for me. Could one of the characters in the dream have been me in a past life? It wasn't any period nor story that I got in my regressions; nor have I had any particular interest in it like those who travel to and dress up for Medieval fairs.

The last possibility is, despite my not seeing a connection right now, perhaps the symbols or story are or will be allegorical for my life. There weren't many symbols for the dream dictionary to be of help; however, sometimes it has taken years to see how something applies. When it finally does, I have been glad I hadn't let it go. I think those kinds of dreams give a person faith that there is more to life than biology.

Because I thought it'd be interesting to try and because I have painted my dreams before, I decided to use the computer paint tools to create a digital image of what the couple might have looked like. Since characters in dream stories are rarely someone I have met, no movie stars, intuiting was what was required.

I don't know if any reader here is good at dream analysis, but the story and image follow in case someone would like to give it a try:

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The times are feudal. If it was here on earth, it would most likely be the British Isles or Europe somewhere in the Middle Ages. The dream begins in what appears to be a big castle with a great many rooms where leaders come to stay for periods of socializing, working out treaties, or other negotiations. It seemed the lands were divided into small kingdoms, each with its own leader, but no overall ruler.

The woman is beautiful with long black hair, wearing a long gown, and in her early 30s for age. I would think she had been married and widowed as she appears to have a freedom of choice that would have been unusual in unmarried young women.

The man [neither character had a name that I can remember] knocks on her door. They had previously arranged to meet to decide if they were going to be married. Their marriage would be beneficial to themselves and to the lands they each control. Both are experienced enough in life to believe that arranged marriages are not good unless they are wanted by both parties.

She looks him over and is pleasantly surprised. He is a bit older than she, handsome, big, and tough looking. Their secret meeting is for the purpose of having sex as if that is good, then it decides the rest. She feels relief that she is instantly attracted to him.

The next morning he knows she had been pleased but asks her anyway if it had been good enough. It has [I have to take the dream characters' word for this as I almost never dream about sex and this was no exception but my impression was it went on all night and was very good for them both]. They marry, joining their lands and people together, by simply saying the words to each other. This was the way it was done and the people around them accept it that way [one of several elements that doesn't seem to fit the actual period].

In their culture, the males practice battles to hone their skills. The man goes off with his friends to observe one of these mock battles. Against the rules and any expectations, he finds himself under real physical attack. The battle is to death. He fights and is able to fend off the attackers but is wounded.

When he comes back to her, she is at first angry to realize he had been fighting. War is anathema to her. He does not like it either, but he also had done what he needs to do for the world in which he must function. When he faints from his injuries, she forgets her displeasure and tends his wounds. They grow closer. Their physical pleasure is only part of what works as they are of like minds for many things.

Before they can leave for his lands, the lord, who has been trying to control all of these feudal lands, has arranged a jousting. It is supposedly just for amusement also. The man is not trusting of anything at this point and in no mood to joust but has no choice in accepting.

He picks up a lance and mounts his horse. His opponent, mounted at the opposite end of wherever this was, has some odd kind of weapon, like a circle of some sort on a chain that he could swing. Before the two could meet, the opponent simply throws his weapon down [the opponent's weapon looked more like a double wooden wreathe and like no weapon I have seen]. His opponent's forfeit is something that is not done; except at that point, rather than knocking him from his horse, the man also pulls up his own lance. The two do not do the competition.

The lord who is trying to amass power is very displeased as he wants these contests to determine a winner as apparently the losers pay him a forfeit. Everything he is doing is intended to build his control and become a king over all these lands.

The dream ends with the couple knowing they are finally free to leave for the man’s lands, but they will not be free of conflict. The trouble is growing.

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This was as though reading a book which was the first in what was a series of three, and at the same time watching a film from the 40s-- you know the kind where historical elements are not true to the times but rather to what viewers today would like to imagine. Whatever the case, it was an enjoyable dream, the kind I wish I could experience more frequently. For me, they don't come on demand.

After such a dream, I always question if I was inside the dream, as one of the characters, or was an observer from outside that world. I am not sure, but think I may switch back and forth.

The Question of Evil

When we hear the word evil, many of us are repelled. Who wants to admit they are evil? Or even that evil exists? When President Bush talked about an Axis of Evil, some Americans went Amen-- while others, including me, shuddered and wished he'd never used that expression. Evil is defined very differently by different people. Who decides what it is? Some would say the Bible defines it but still disagree on what it is.

A friend and I had this debate a while ago-- does evil exists or is everything shades of good? If evil is real, how do we recognize or define it? The word is easily misused and serves to allow some to do what most would consider bad things with the excuse of combating worse things. There are some words with so much emotional clout that as soon as they are used, others quit thinking and simply react.

Although Sinclair Lewis did not say it in exactly these words (his books do reflect the theme), Ron Paul quoted him recently-- "It reminds me of what Sinclair Lewis once said. He says, 'When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross.'" The gist of this goes beyond politics. What something is often is not apparent in the beginning-- even to ourselves.

The actor Will Smith got lambasted last month (most especially by the Jewish Defense League) as he tried to say something that I think is pretty profound-- "Even Hitler didn't wake up going, 'let me do the most evil thing I can do today.' I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was 'good." Smith was crucified by those who, I believe, misunderstood his point. Of course, using the word Hitler is another of those emotional words that causes unthinking, instant reaction.

One step at a time people can lose the ability to see where something is going and whether it is bad-- no, actually evil. One choice leads to another-- each one sinking deeper into a moral mire. We have seen that today with those who attempt to justify torture, something which has been condemned by all civilized cultures for a long time, but now to some is okay to do-- of course, only in certain circumstances and when they decide.

Some kinds of choices don't seem obviously bad at the start. Perhaps at some point people do know they have done wrong, but by then they see it as too late to change course. They have to say it's all been done for good-- even to themselves! Evil isn't born overnight in a person or a culture.

When I was thinking about this, I had a dream that was ironic given how I see evil-- which is somewhere and somebody else, not me and nobody I actually know. The dream was the first I have ever had like it and hopefully will be the last if it was given to me to help me see something:

I think the woman is me. There is no particular setting for this dream. She lives a normal life except for one thing-- she has appointed herself as a one-woman vigilante committee to rid the world of certain people she considers to be vermin. Each of these people (six of them) had done evil things and yet gotten away with it. The world was not going to punish them. I don't recall all the ways she killed, but she went off on trips. Each time and for each of her victims, she would find a natural method to rid the world of the bad guy. The one I remember was because it seemed so horrifying. The man was scuba diving as she must have been (unless she shape-shifted). She bit his arm very badly and left him for the sharks to get. Each killing was like that-- looking natural. When she got home from the sixth murder, she was congratulating herself on how clever she had been when a person she knew commented casually that because she had had a baby carrier with her on each trip (who knows why), they knew where she had been because it had had a global tracking device installed. Nobody had yet connected the fact that deaths had occurred each place but suddenly she knew she might be caught and hadn't been as clever as she thought. (I woke up at that point.)

What got me about the dream (besides its obvious violence) was that I was the bad guy. I have never had a dream where I committed a violent act. In my waking life, I have never even slapped or hit someone in anger, not thrown anything, never wanted to do so. There have been dreams where I had to face villains who intended bad by me and I had to use self-defense, but this was different. I was the villain which is what I would see as taking the question of justice into your own hands through murder. I was thinking later that maybe the dream came to make the point that it's a series of decisions that we make, ignoring our moral sense, that starts us down a path that can lead to anyone which meant even me becoming an evil person. It's a process, not an instant happening.

Does evil exist? Well, I believe it does, just as I believe good exists. People will disagree about which is which. Incidentally, there is an excellent book on the subject-- 'People of the Lie' by M. Scott Peck-- about human evil, how he saw it, and tried to treat it in his practice. His examples of human evil were chilling (he also believed in possession and cited instances of it).

So what does the word evil mean to you?

[Incidentally, I did check out what would be the dream interpretation for murder; and it said that if I was the one doing it, it meant I was dealing with negative traits of which I was ridding myself. Since in no case were the ones in the dream people I recognize in my life or the world today, maybe that's so. The baby carrier might go along with that. Perhaps that means some of those habits or qualities would be from childhood.]

The computer painting is one of mine, which seemed to fit this topic, not to say she is evil...

Zeitgeist-- the movie

I wrote about Zeitgeist when I first heard about it and ordered the DVD which arrived in the mail this week. We sat down to watch it Tuesday night. When I was over, I wasn't sure that I wanted to write about it nor what I'd say if I did. I had seen some of it on YouTube but not the part on religion. I went to bed that night unsure but full of its images.

My dream was very vivid, like a movie. I was on some kind of luxury ship. It had many levels and a lot of people also on it-- most likely a tour ship. I realized it was being invaded by a group of very bad people, who took it over. They herded the rest of the people into one of the large rooms. I, with those who had come with me on the trip, was in a separate area. I watched what was happening as the people, who now were clearly captives, didn't object. They seemed to feel it was safe to be in the power of whoever these people were. I was trying to find a way to escape and ran into some of those bad guys but still was not in the main area. The dream ended before I either completely escaped or found out what was going to happen but my feeling was that the captives, who had submitted so meekly, would be blown up.

It's certainly not surprising I'd have a violent dream after watching Zeitgeist as it's about violence, about those who would control others through various ruthless methods. When I woke up, I lay in bed thinking about the dream and how, if Zeitgeist is accurate, which I am not saying I believe it is, then what happens next will either be a very violent event in one of our major cities or a group will spread a disease through the country to cause the pandemic they are currently warning us about-- and the ones doing it won't be Islamic fanatics. I understand this is conspiracy kook thinking to some, but there have always been questions out there about both 9/11 and Oklahoma City. If Zeitgeist is correct, we don't have anybody who will honestly investigate because the people in power would be the ones doing it-- and I don't mean just politicians. None of this began with Bush; so let's keep his name out of it as it only causes some to get defensive and quit thinking about the rest of what is going on.

What we all know is that fear is a proven method one group uses to control another. We see it in religion. We have seen it in politics, most recently a constant drumbeat on terrorism, but the method didn't begin yesterday.

If there are those who want to take this country completely over, they will need another huge, tragic event of one sort or another allowing them to manipulate enough other people to gain total control. It has worked before. Billions of dollars have gone into seemingly a black hole in Iraq. Nobody knows to whom or where it all went. Is it preparing for that something else, something much worse?

Currently there are 20,000 people in that Blackwater military group. Would those members be citizens of this country first or believers in Blackwater and a hidden group who could be behind a lot of events for which someone else gets blamed. Those who became members of the Gestapo in Germany probably never imagined they would do what they ended up doing. It's a gradual process that dehumanizes people for what they see as a greater cause, a cause that lets them forget morality as they originally might have believed it to be.

So what do I think about the film Zeitgeist? Well my uncertainty is why I hesitated to write about it again and might not of had I not had the dream. The film effectively presents a lot of ideas, suggests certain things as fact that either are not or are still debatable. One problem I have with any group with strong opinions is they cherry pick what suits their cause and often prefer to not double check anything that works in their favor.

Despite my reservations about it, I think Zeitgeist is worth watching mainly because it makes the viewer think-- it demands it! That is the main thing that I think everyone should be doing. Quit letting someone else tell us what is truth. Research new ideas. Be open to having been wrong. I believe Zeitgeist encourages thought.

The word zeitgeist means-- the spirit of the time; the spirit characteristic of an age or generation. So if the film makes its viewers stop and think what is it sweeping our times, it will be good for anyone to see. If it has someone thinking they can trust it to do their thinking for them, it will not be good.

Here are some questions from it: Is fear today being used to gain total domination over others? Who benefits from such fear? How far would they go to gain total power? Do they value human life at all or is something else more important? Who can you really trust for truth? Just remember fear and ignorance are the tools of dictatorships. Is our country on that path?

Anything that gets people to stop and think, about what is the zeitgeist of their time-- that has to be good. Too many people today want a leader, religious or political, to do their thinking for them. In my opinion, that is most definitely not good.

You can see Zeitgeist online through YouTube, at its own site, or you can order the DVD for $5 to decide for yourself what you think about its claims. The question I come back to is-- supposing it's right, what can we do now? My dream didn't give me the answer.

Dreams of... doughnuts???

In some dreams I am clearly one of the people. Sometimes I am a viewer. Other times I slip between watching and being. In this dream, I think I watched it unfold.

The dream began with a woman who worked in a store and learned she won a contest which she didn't seem to realize she had entered. They told her it meant whatever she wanted for a month, she could magically buy-- possessions, trips, property, anything that could be purchased. At first she didn't see this as a big deal; then she began to realize what it could mean and began to travel.

In a small town, she saw a kiosk that had people lined up to buy something. She asked what it was. 'They are buying doughnuts.' Doughnuts! Who would wait in line to buy them? (she was as much a fan of them as I am which means was not).

Hey, these weren't just any doughnuts but the best in the world. Melt in your mouth, totally wonderful doughnuts.

Well heck if they are that good, she might as well try one. She went looking for the end of the line as it wove way through the town. Finally in an alley, she saw the last three people just in time to hear the doughnuts had run out. More would be available the next day.

Sticking around, that night she met the man who made these doughnuts. He was very nice, ordinary type guy. She and he hit it off. Not exactly a romance but one of those relationships with potential to be more.

The next morning, she got in line early for the doughnuts except she then decided rather than buy one (she never did try one), she wanted to give away the prize she had won. Basically it was as though she divided it up into small servings of dough. Each person, who was handed a small piece of it, would be able to buy something they really wanted but not everything. The dream ended as she was still giving away those pieces.

Not in anyway could I see how this dream applied to my life, but I looked up what seemed like the main things: doughnuts, receiving and giving, a line, a man, a crowd, and dough.

To dream something is being given to you suggests you need to appreciate the gifts you have. To dream that you are giving something away indicates you need to give more in some relationship or situation.

To see a doughnut in a dream represents the Self. It suggests you might be feeling lost and still trying to find yourself or your purpose in life. Alternatively it refers to growth, development and nurturance. You do not feel completely whole. In this instance, I didn't see the doughnuts, just heard they were there and everybody loved eating them.

A man in your dream could illustrate the masculine aspect of yourself. A happy orderly crowd denotes assured happiness, pleasant friends and opportunities. To see a line of people or objects indicates that you need to be more aware of some situation or relationship. To dream you are standing in line indicates your need for more patience. You should be prepared to wait for something and not have it right away. To see or work dough signifies potential, possibilities and the ability to create.

So did it have meaning for me? Not personally probably but maybe some dreams are just intended to give pleasure-- like going to a movie that inspires. This one did that with her unselfish and surprising decision to give away what most would hold onto. She had bought nothing with her prize, but perhaps she found something that mattered more.

I couldn't think of any pictures for this one given I don't eat doughnuts except under highly unusual situations-- like a kiosk selling doughnuts that melt in your mouth.

A time to dream dreams

Winter, with its long nights, is a good time for dreams-- if we want them and make some effort to remember them as we first wake. I think for dreams to become vivid takes practice and openness to them. Dreams are enjoyable as a simple experience, but they can also be our angels, spirit guides or inner self's method of talking to our waking self. It is like so many things in life-- we can take the same event at many levels. Look for meaning in life, and you find it everywhere.

Several days before Christmas I dreamed I looked out my window and three coyotes were chasing my sheep. Nobody else could help the sheep in time; so I climbed out the bedroom window in bare feet to scare off the coyotes.

In looking for possible meanings to this very vivid and detailed dream, I went to the dream dictionary. I dream every night, don't always remember them and don't bother to look most up as they are about daily living and seem obvious why I dreamed them. The dreams I seek to explore further are strong and have something about them that isn't normal. I dismissed both coyotes and sheep for having significance. Coyotes yodeled close to the house earlier that evening and I raise sheep. I was less sure whether the window mattered. While it's true I look out it frequently to check the sheep, I don't jump out of it.

So window, bare feet and three coyotes were the elements I went looking for in my favorite online dream dictionary. I have written about this before, but it bears repeating when assessing dreams. If the symbol is apparent to you in your life, you don't need any extra guides. Maybe snakes always symbolize something for you that no dream dictionary could know. But if a dream has things that aren't typical, then a good dream dictionary can provide some clues as to what your subconscious might be saying.

To dream you are looking out a window signifies your outlook on life, your point of view, intuition. To see your own feet in a dream symbolizes your foundation, stability and sense of understanding. It represents mobility, independence and freedom. Barefoot can represent you have a firm grasp and good understanding of the situation. (Incidentally feet are holy in India so could add a divine quality to the meaning of them in some dreams.)

Finally three signifies life, vitality, inner strength, completion, imagination, energy and self-exploration. Three also is a trilogy representing past, present, future or father, mother, child, etc. Where these three were threatening things I love and have responsibility for, they might yet have a meaning the dream dictionary didn't cover.

Although I am using one of my photos of a coyote (from Yellowstone National Park) to illustrate this dream, the significant part of going out that window was the risk to my bare feet. I take it to be a message to me in my personal life. Whoever gifts me with dreams, whether my subconscious or outside spiritual aide, I took the message to be encouraging that I am doing some risk taking and to trust it. Don't be afraid to take the risk, don't try to control the situation. You can trust yourself. Go out the window, don't go protected. Just go. You just need significant motivation and you will go!

Coyotes by the way are not generally dangerous to humans (unless rabid). I would do what I did in the dream to protect those sheep-- although since guns are handy near that window, I can't imagine going unarmed-- or barefoot. Yes, I could scare them off but more effective would be to shoot them!

These last weeks have been fruitful for my dreaming. Some have been scary (marauding bears, violent people), some enjoyable (good times with friends and family), some clearly out of my day, and many have had encouraging meanings when I stop to think on them-- a few warnings.

Next blog I will share a dream that I haven't been able to interpret for my personal life, but it was a interesting one with some 'different' symbols.

Yaqui Woman

Understanding the meaning behind my dreams has been one of my spiritual goals. Last week I had one that still has me considering. I was tending sheep and cattle. A pretty common theme for me, but then it began to turn unusual. Some I don't remember except for thinking-- what was that? One incident I recall was pulling a drowning calf from a water barrel, then realizing under it was another, and I was able to save it also.

Then the dream shifted to sitting in a room with a woman across from me and a man behind. I knew there were others nearby but unseen. The woman told me they all were part of my Yaqui family. She said the man was my Yaqui father and in the other room was my Yaqui lover. I saw none of these people in the sense of being able to identify who they might be today.

I had the feeling she was saying this was a bit of a magical family that went farther back than the Yaqui time; and yet Yaqui was how she identified it to me so I would understand.

She said, when magical things happen, they are only to get our attention for the message; so we will listen to what comes next. The magic is not significant other than as an attention-getter. Magic is for the message but not the message.

This is a truth that maybe should be obvious. When Jesus did miracles, he did them to get people's attention, to show who he was, to get others to listen to what he had to say. This is true of most mystics. They are not caught up in the power of the supernatural event but see it for what it is-- a way to help ourselves and others be open to listening.

I woke with a couple of feelings about the dream. First was wondering if it applied to one of my regressions (which I wrote about last fall and reposted for anyone who would like to read it-- here) regarding a possible past life, one which I had thought was most likely Apache because of the area where I thought it took place. Perhaps the people were Yaqui instead. The Sonoran Desert is still homeland to the Yaqui as it was to the Apache during the time of that possible lifetime. It is also where I have a part-time home, a land I have long called one of my spirit homes. Maybe a past life was there. Maybe not.

If it was, it would add to my understanding of what that regression lifetime might have been like. I have felt for a long time that what I did in that time had cost me a soul family's respect. Did I lose touch with who they were, and the dream was a way to reconnect us? As is often the case with dreams, one can wonder more than prove such possibilities-- at least for now.

Second possible purpose in the dream was nudging me to finally read the Carlos Castaneda books about Yaqui mysticism and learn more about the ways of the shaman, something I have read some on through the years but only limitedly. The book I will begin with is called 'A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, The Teachings of Don Juan.'

Shamanism has appeal to me because as best I understand it, it's about those who heal, who help others into oneness with the land and spirit. Perhaps I will soon know more about it.

As most strong dreams do, there could be a third reason for this one, and that might be combining the mysticism I can learn through these books into the story I have been slowly building from dreams. Maybe.. could be.

(This kind of, maybe, could be computer portrait, Yaqui Woman, is mixing some reality from this lifetime with that regression of 1998 in a bit of a dreamlike image.)

Healing Dreams

As anyone knows who has read my blog for awhile, I am a believer in the power of dreams. If you think about how many hours we spend sleeping, isn't it to our benefit to use that time to improve our daytime hours if we can? At this point I am just learning how to use mine. I know dream work is no magic panacea, just another tool to reach within ourselves to improve our lives.

If someone wants to do such nighttime work, before falling asleep ask your subconscious, angels or spirit guides to help have dreams that will be beneficial. If you have a particular problem, asking for a dream to help you understand it can be effective. Just before you wake, lie there for a few moments and try to retrieve whatever you last saw or thought.

The ideal approach to remembering and utilizing is to write all the elements from the dream as best you recall-- whether it seemed to relate to anything or not. Sometimes what didn't seem relevant upon first waking takes on meaning with time.

Remembering dreams is like any skill. It is developed through practice. From my experience, I believe you will receive the benefit of such dreaming though whether you consciously remember the dreams or not.

Sometimes the relationships that need healing are with those who have died. Dreams can help emotionally heal, recognize mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and make a relationship into something life never let it be. Lucid dreaming allows remaking a relationship in your sleep that would never have been possible while awake.

If you are interested in learning more about lucid dreaming (taking control of your dreams) there are books on it, also quite a bit online. An example of how it can work is a simple dream of mine from quite a few years ago.

I was walking with a group of people and suddenly realized they had gone on and I had walked up a pole-- way, way up a pole. Nobody seemed to be aware I was teetering on the top of this pole. Nobody was even around. I knew I would never be able to get down. Instead of putting off the inevitable, I just let myself fall. As I hit the ground, I knew I had to be dead. Nobody could survive a fall from that height-- except I then thought this is ridiculous. Nobody can walk up a pole. I stood up and walked off.