addictions of a kind of innocent sort... maybe

by Rain Trueax

bobcat in our Tucson backyard

Everybody has ways they waste time… Maybe not everybody but I do. I am not sure I can justify my own choices for what I do instead of something important… Well, maybe we need to define important, but after just going into the immigration issues, I am not going to define anything here—just describe what I do when I should be cleaning house or something more noteworthy, like writing on the next book.

My time waster began innocently enough. Don’t they all! I got interested in people who live a full-time RV life. I can’t describe right now how I found the ones I began to check out on YouTube. Maybe because I joined some Facebook groups about RVs since we have one and were looking at changing to something different. Because I also have a YouTube channel, with very little on it, I had interest in the art form, and know from experience that it isn’t the easiest thing to create something others want to follow.

book trailers

Creating trailers for my books has become one of those things I generally do when I finish the rough draft. They help me write the blurbs, and I enjoy playing with images. If you have an interest in such, the ones I have created are at [Rainy Day Trailers] as well as on my Rain Trueax channels at YouTube. For reasons relating more to my lack of techie skills than a desire, I have two channels there with no idea how to merge them. This is the one with the most recent videos-- My YouTube Channel.

Because of discovering filters to use on photos, for the first time I put together the video with one of the apps. I like how besides looking like a painting, it gives the images a fantasy feel-- appropriate for a paranormal book where the 'other' side intrudes on what we consider the real world...



This following link takes you to it on YouTube if the embed is too slow. Much of how well videos work is dependent on the speed of someone's server. Mine varies in how effective it is. It can help to put it on pause and let it get ahead, in short, buffer. (My granddaughter taught me that one-- as often happens with techie stuff that they get far faster than I do).

A Price to be Paid

If you haven't seen the videos for the first two in the Hemstreet Witches series, they are at: 

 Enchantress' Secret

&

To Speak of Things Unseen

using a tool

 by Rain Trueax

Using Dreamscope has been interesting. I play with it between writing scenes. I've found more or less what it seems to do well and not so much. I began with the goal of using it to create covers. I also played with various photos out of curiosity for exactly what it could do.

Although it has a lot of filters, the one I have used most and has the most potential for me is the oil pastel portrait filter. Experimenting with it on our landscape photos, I've found it a mixed bag in terms of creating what would make a painting like the actual scene. Its results were always exciting for an abstract, but only when it has something it can latch onto, like the saguaro in the above image, does it come close to giving the viewer an idea of the subject. The one below is of a reflection from our Oregon creek, and while it's very pretty, it doesn't look at all like the creek.

On the other hand, I've never had the knack of doing abstract paintings as they always end up looking like something. So I like how this tool might help me get beyond what I am seeing to what it feels like. 

It did great on animals like one of our cows with her calf. Its buffalo recreations from our Yellowstone photos were amazing. I can see this as a painting or when we eventually do pay for the upgrade maybe having some of these printed on canvas and framed for the wall. 

I haven't gone for the upgrade yet due to limited time to really use it. I have this book to finish (25,000 words with probably another 25,000 to go); and although I can play with something for a bit between writing a few hundred words, I wouldn't do it enough to justify the $9.95 a month cost. I also have been concerned that its sharper images might lose some of its appeal as some of what makes it work is the looseness. The Dreamscope site doesn't appear to have much to give me an idea of how that would work-- no real customer service although maybe there would be if I got the upgrade.

More on this in the next blog for how it works with humans-- again, a mixed bag depending on the image it's given. 
 

change is inevitable

 South Dakota Christmas 1901-- my grandmother is second from the right.

August on this farm was about the garden, heat, irrigation, smoke, hoped for rain, and computer problems. Since 2010, I had happily done all my writing on a laptop-- Windows Premium7. It's a great work machine or I should say was. I don't need a lot of frills. The important one for me was Corel Photo-Paint7 which did everything I needed to make covers. Corel is why I didn't update the machine to 8.1. None of the later Windows would let me use that program.

I have been through the computer rodeo enough times to know nothing lasts forever. So last summer, we bought a Win 8.1, with the idea I could eventually use it when my 7 failed. I left it though to Ranch Boss to do the adding of my stuff to it. Then it'd be ready when the day came.

For those who love every new technology, my Luddite attitude, toward keeping whatever I have as long as possible, probably makes little sense; but I am that way with everything. If I like something and works for me, I don't want to get rid of it, which explains 10+ year old jeans and sweaters.

What I didn't expect is that Microsoft itself would destroy my 7. They did it with their latest updates and the warning that they would no longer support 7. When I had one of their insisted necessary updates, and it caused the machine to fail, I looked toward what used to be my fail-safe program-- system restore. It no longer existed. By their planning, the crash took it out.

Grandpa is standing on the stump and grandma has that coy look on the front. Her mother with the silver hair is right behind her.

Although I had hoped we could find a fix for 7, it was looking like it was done. First though my rescue machine, the Windows 8.1, had to be updated to 10. For awhile, we tried simultaneously to fix the 7, but I am editing a manuscript and when 7 failed that-- I gave up. I had fortunately spent one week-end saving everything important to two new 128GB jump drives. It was tedious work, but with all of our photos preserved (my manuscripts were always updated regularly to the small drives), I was more sanguine about 7 failing. 

There are things I don't like as well with the Win10. I've had to get used to how it saves as it would be easy to over-write, but one of my big concerns was eased when I was able to buy a Corel Photo-Paint 7x and found it had most of the features I used. 

We ran into one final (I hope) problem, when in the midst of going to one of the photo places where I buy cover images, our Internet server refused me connection. Ranch Boss spent a lot of hours trying to get it back up. He finally resorted to calling our server. It turned out the technician there had been getting a lot of these calls in the weeks since 10 came out. He walked the computer through what needed to be done and for now, the Internet is back.

Frustrating to say the least especially since Microsoft could have told those with Windows 7-- don't update again even when we say you should for security. I am sure those with Macs are smirking about now-- but your day may also come. It's the nature of the Internet world that change is one constant.

My grandmother and great grandmother with no idea what year

My awareness that life is also that way was enhanced when I was saving those photos and saw again those of my grandmother, my father's mother. Mary's mother and father were born in Germany and immigrated. She was born August 22, 1887 in South Dakota. They were farmers and did well as her engagement and wedding photos seem to indicate. My other grandparents had no wedding photos at all let alone engagement photos. 

Mary and John were married August 23, 1903. I know more about her life after my father was born through his stories, but almost nothing about the girl she had been, what she wanted from life, what she experienced before she married. She was such a girl when she married. Was she crazy about him? I know she was after they married.

They had five children; lost one as an infant during a terrible South Dakota thunderstorm. I know that her reputation for a clean home was that you could eat off her kitchen floor. My father remembers watching her and his father at a barn dance, where the children were in the loft to supposedly sleep. She left her home in South Dakota to come to Oregon because of my grandfather's health.

They came first to an area not far from where I live today, but I never knew any of that until we moved here. I know when they were in Falls City, she nearly died from sleeping sickness, and had all her long hair cut off as evidently that was what they did in those days. When she finally woke, she cried over the hair loss-- or that's how my father remembered it. She later got breast cancer and survived it. She lost her husband with a stroke and wept on his casket. 

The thing that gets me now is I don't think I ever knew the woman she was, and I wish I had. She died April 1976 before I thought much about asking questions of her, before it seemed important to me, while I was very involved with raising my own children, and a year and a half before we moved to this farm.

my grandmother, uncle, grandfather and two relatives but not sure who

Much of the joy and fun I saw in her earlier photos, ones I only inherited when one of my younger cousins died, I can't say I knew. I did know her to always have long hair that she braided into a coronet around her head-- and if she ever wore a pair of pants, I never saw it. 

One of the things I have been most grateful for in my life is having had two such different grandmothers as examples of how women can be. I knew my mother's mother far better and heard her stories of her youth, her courtship, but the grandmother whose wedding photos I now have, well I don't think I really knew more than the image of her. It's a regret I can't undo now. 

I am not one to think often about my past or what has been. There is a reason for that. When I do, I feel sad and even teary as I miss what was. My growing up was good, and I am glad I knew it was good back then. The same with my years of raising children. I can't live there though and dwelling on the past just makes me feel bad in the present.

For this blog, I didn't know what I'd write and it seems ironic to me that it ended up being about the most modern of technologies and the oldest of mythologies-- who our ancestors really were.

privacy concerns

This week I got an interesting email from Samuel Bowling, from Single Hop, asking if I'd take part in Choose Privacy Week (May 1-7). The idea is we need to be part of keeping our lives safe from those who would hack into our passwords or read our words and maybe end up on our doorstep or using our credit cards.

The question was-- what 5 things would you never share online. I probably have a lot more than 5 but easily could come up with those. I wonder if readers here would be willing to contribute their own things they feel are not wise to share or would be even dangerous to put out. Some are probably pretty easy like our passwords, phone numbers, addresses, etc. Well, you'd think that'd be obvious. But what else comes to mind?

7 things I never share on line

1. my grandchildren-- not their photos nor their pictures. I decided years ago that it simply wasn't a good idea with all the perverts out there. But also they have a right to privacy in case someone did come across my blog and recognized them.

2. my kids-- again not their photos, details about their lives or their names. It's for the same reason as above-- their safety and they didn't sign up for this blog. I did. I've put up a few pictures of them as children but lots of luck on figuring out who they are today from that.

3. my home base either here or in Arizona. Besides not using addresses, I have a lot of photos of the ranch here but make sure they are without identifying landmarks. While I do use photos of myself (I did sign up for this), I had experiences years ago with chat rooms to recognize that some people do get obsessive, create imaginary relationships with someone they haven't met but get to thinking they know. It's just safer to keep how to reach me for those I know well enough to trust.

4. personal info about my relationship with my significant other. You will never read about our arguments, our special moments or anything specific about how it is going for us. I know there are journal type blogs. Mine is not one of them. I write about ideas, photographs, my work but never about my personal relationships.

5. and that includes my friends. I might write about doing something with a friend but if I use a photo of the get together, I got permission for using it. I don't write about my friends' problems or their relationships. This isn't so much to protect them but to keep friends. :)

6. my name. My name here (the name I write and do art under) is searchable all over the internet-- lots of luck finding it to use on a Google map. I think it's fine for some to use their legal names but there is a risk attached if you get someone who either is angry at what you said or gets a fixation on you. I decided years ago (again based on early experiences in chat rooms) that some people you do not want to be able to show up at your door.

7. trips. I might tell about a trip after I get back but generally do not get specific on when I left or how long I'll be gone. I don't know that it's ever mattered but better safe than sorry.

So what 5 things (yeah I had more than 5 and have more than 7) would you never share publicly online?

Both photos are fields of Camas, a one-time staple in the diet of Native Americans from this region-- just don't eat the white ones ;) Photos taken by Farm Boss when he was at a business meeting in the foothills of the Cascades.

advertising or not...

As an experiment, I have tried word verification and moderation to reduce the number of spam that easily swamp my email box. Word verification works but inconveniences readers who have genuine comments. Moderation really doesn't work for me at all as a lot of the spammers are not just posting on the current one but way back-- and they still show up but I just keep them from posting.

So now, with my email box once again overloaded, I am going to try what someone commented worked-- no anonymous commenters. I really hate doing that but if it works, it will be what I stay with. Commenters can use OpenID, but I know some don't want to do that. I will miss comments; but if this works, I will not miss the multitudes of spammers that I think mess up our whole internet by their over usage that accomplishes nothing for anybody not even whoever they are paid to spam by. Whoever buys anything from their efforts? I doubt anybody but they must profit from doing it somehow and they have gotten very ingenious in what they say before they slip in their link.

Frustrating to have to do this because of an abuse of the system but that seems to be the story of modern life...

On a higher note, we were at the Albany Public Library (2450 14th Ave. S.E.) on Saturday to give Diane Widler Wenzel a hand with adjusting the height of some of her paintings there in her exhibit-- Making Memories. Well, we weren't helping so much as the tall Farm Boss who could reach what it would take a ladder for her to get up to.

Her exhibit is on the second floor and covers examples of her art from 1966 through 2013. It's an extensive exhibit going from one end of the second floor to the other and she put a lot of work into the meaning behind it. Diane created signs that explain some of her thinking in the creating; so check it out if you are in the Albany, Oregon area as it will be there through June.

Social media-- good or bad?

Almost two years ago, when I began to think about bringing out all my stories onto eReaders, editing reminded me of something about our culture. Communication had changed so totally that it required major revamps if I wanted the stories to be set in today. 

Pay phones-- virtually a thing of the past. Cell phones-- total necessity. Computers-- who can live without them. VCR is now DVD and in some of my books, even that hadn't been in homes. This all illustrates one advantage of writing historical novels-- possible technologies of the time don't change at least not if you researched it well to start.

April 2008 Seal Rock

What has triggered this thinking is what happened in Steubenville, Ohio. If you followed it, you know the details, if not, I won't go into them as they are pretty unpleasant. The part that relates to what I'm thinking is how social media played a role as it has in so many happenings especially with youth but also oldsters.

Kids today simply don't know the same world I, or even my kids, did growing up. Today, youth are connected and online, some from early childhood. Their every move is recorded and passed onto friends and family in a way that past parents could only dream of doing. As soon as they are old enough, they have cell phones and text their friends to the point they are never disconnected from their social network. How will this impact the emotional maturing of these kids?

Parents face defeat attempting to monitor Facebook and social networking sites 

The rape in Steubenville was compounded by tweets and instagram photos of the crime while those not connected directly to it watched and did nothing. Would the young men have even done what they did if they had not been drunk themselves and then egged on? We know the gang mentality of the young where murders have been committed, lots of kids knew, and protected the crime through some kind of group loyalty or psychoses. This rape though was discovered and its damage compounded by social media that enabled voyeurism and guilt by association (some of whom may find there is a criminal penalty to be paid).

 May 2009 Seal Rock

I worry about the impact on kids who are never disconnected from electronic media, but adults aren't immune to the influence. Some grew up in a world where it was all they knew. Some, like my generation, came to it after years of other methods. For all the good social media can do, there is a downside.

Lately I've seen several sites writing about hurt feelings from words that were only possible because of blogs, Facebook, or other social sites.  People forget that everything they say here, it all is out there and can be found by others. Some give intimate information on their lives that maybe they won't later want to have available to the world-- but it will be. 

Social media has a particular tendency to encourage more sharing of things that at one time would have been unthinkable to tell strangers-- and yet that's exactly what is happening. Old folks are as prone to this as kids.

We can now publish books, put pictures of ourselves online with no censorship at all in some places. Facebook does censor but still people in their underwear to strangers? Seriously? In some ways we can know more about strangers than we do our neighbors but do we really? How much of what we read is invented? 

December 2011 Seal Rock

We can be dragged into voyeurism ourselves if we don't have a strong sense of values that says-- I won't read or look at that. Whoa, those words went too far for me! That photo, is it what I think it is, and instead of staying and salivating, shutting down the site. 

When I began on the internet, I was in a group site where you could have private chats but also share in designated rooms. I was chatting with a guy who was flirting or trying to with me, but he also was watching something he told me I should go see. In one of the 'rooms' a couple had put up a link to their webcam where they were making love. The guy thought it was great. I thought it was wrong for them and anybody who viewed it. I didn't want to be part of encouraging this couple to degrade themselves from the egging on of others. He saw nothing wrong with it. The twenty year age difference between us might have explained part of that different way we saw it.

People build friendships through the Internet, and I am the first to say it can be done. I have met people this way who became real time friends. I also know those who were defrauded by people who created identities aimed for that purpose. Some do it out of loneliness but others are grifters who make money off the loneliness of others.

My main thought here is how easily people say mean things, things they'd never say to someone in person because the internet makes meanness easy. It makes possible to encourage someone who is degrading themselves or others, an act that person would never do in person. 

To many people the internet is an alternate reality, a different level of relationship which can become a trap. It is a fact in our world where we do our business online, learn the news, talk to friends, share our experiences. That genii is out of the bottle, but it does take a sense of ethics to use it wisely for ourselves, not become part of things that are wrong because they don't seem real-- not make it the center of our lives.

Especially for the younger generation, it is a constant battle to stay connected enough without it becoming crippling to their physical reality-- or as happened in Steubenville, get them into serious trouble.

March 2013 Seal Rock

And for oldsters, I think it's just good to keep it in perspective. Use it, don't let it use us. Understand that what we write, either in a blog or comments, goes beyond the immediate and can be found for years to come. Nothing out there is really private to those who know how to hack.

Photos are the ones I mentioned of four long time friends at a vacation spot we have enjoyed over the last five years. Sometime I will take the time to find the photos of us through the years-- we go way back-- although not quite to childhood. I came across a few of them when looking for petroglyph photos. Hard to believe it's even us ;). Today we use social media as this couple are the only ones with whom I chat  now using Skype (with MSN messenger going down). We could use the phone, do get together now and then, but we enjoy the convenience of typing, connecting and onward to our days. The internet isn't a bad thing. Social media isn't harmful unless we lose control of it.

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From Here to There on a trailer (no, not that kind)

When I learned there were trailers for books, I went to YouTube and clicked on a few. They varied a lot in complexity and effectiveness. The idea of doing my own grew. I had already purchased some images because to have the covers meet reader expectation, I had invested some of the book money on stock photos. To put my trailers or anything else onto YouTube, as the place they most likely could be seen, all images, words, and music had to either be mine or where I had purchased the license.

Although I have now looked at quite a few stock photo sites, my favorite for economy and variety became Can Stock. It has several useful features. My favorite is if you see a model you like, you can click on an image, move to the purchase page, look below the image and click on a link that takes you to all available photos. That saves a lot of time. On these sites, there are all kinds of images. They also offer buying credits which makes the costs quite reasonable. I only wish in the beginning I had realized how many I'd be wanting for the different books as I'd have saved even more money.

Since my first trailers are all for contemporary stories, costuming wasn't a problem. I think though when I get to the historic books, if I put them onto Kindle, I can paint the clothes and use copy paste features when I have the right faces. Somebody would find a sweet business if they could put together stock photos of interesting faces in period costumes. More and more I think indie writers will be growing in numbers and the need is real for all kinds of images. Some, like me, are fortunate to have a lot of photos (minus people) but many don't have them and would buy them at a reasonable price. They are available now but in the hundreds of dollars.

 In looking for these characters,  I began to have the feeling I was casting a movie, and in a way I was. Naturally you cannot get exactly the face you want, but you can come close and with paint tools, alter what is needed. My initial resistance to doing this led to finding it a challenge but also rewarding when I hit on the right image.

When you purchase a license, you also acquire the right to make certain changes, to crop and use in an eBook with the stipulation you cannot sell more than 500,000 copies. Not a problem!

While looking at faces, I'd get tired of it (never have I looked at so many people for personality, features and pose) and look through my own photos for landscapes and animals (bringing back a lot of wonderful memories of the times we shot those photos). I frankly have enough animal, insect, landscape etc. shots to put up my own stock site if I so desired-- which I don't.

So what I needed were the right images, and not too many of them, accompanied by carefully chosen words. One night, literally in the middle of the night, I had the words for the first story trailer and got up to write them down as I was afraid when morning came, I'd have forgotten them. I know it sounds simple to find a few words but it's harder than it seems as you are looking to tell the essence of your story with those words and images-- a story that might be 80-140,000 words.

I already knew I had bought the right music from  Jewel Beat as every song there is $.99 and with it, you receive a license. For the same price you can choose it to last from 15 seconds to several minutes. They also have free music if you put the credit to them in the product. They offer real melodies with different emotional impacts. It is also easy to download and use.

Playing with different combinations of images, I used a combination of my own digital painting and a tool called Oilify --available on GIMP 2 (free software for your computer).  I could have digitally painted them all but that would have taken too much time. This was a nice mix of fast and fun-- as I enjoy painting digitally.

It took several go rounds to get the timing right and find one of the Picasa tools to move between photos. Again Picasa, which I use a lot for my photo work, is a free download. After I had the video up on Picasa, I found how to use YouTube and got myself a channel -- Rain Trueax YouTube Channel -- where in the future all my public videos (bookmark it as scenery also will be there with Jewelbeat music probably (or the classical that has an imbedded credit to them). I don't know how well the YouTube embedding will work for readers with slower systems but I learned how to make that work-- some of the time.

To create this trailer did take time, although I expect less so with the next. It's not really work for me. It's more like creating an art project. I want it to do what I want; and when it does, I get my reward. It has added to my love for this story and these characters. Plus I had fun as I always have when I've done scenery slideshows with music.

And for my readers who don't have the speed to watch a trailer on YouTube, for just this one, I put the photos into a slide show. You do miss the western themed music this way.

From Here to There -- Slideshow

Writing progress report

 Since I put my manuscripts as eBooks, I haven't written much about it here although I've gone more into it on the blog on writing, Rain Trueax, for readers interested in new books coming out, free days, and want to hear about my experiences in writing and eBook marketing. Once in awhile I have something I want to write about here. It's hard not to do it more often as it's all a major part of my life these days.

When I began the writing blog, I wasn't sure what I'd do with it. I wanted it to be an encouragement to others for writing and possibly ePublishing. It's been pretty much the nuts and bolts of writing and what I am learning about marketing (bit by bit). When I get time to take a breath, I'll evaluate where that blog goes.

In my life, until that blog about it, I really haven't talked or written a lot about writing as a process. Mostly I saw writing as something I did, as part of who I was; but I didn't think others would find it that interesting. I had a bit of the attitude-- those who can do; those who can't talk. I was wrong. I am finding I like writing about the process as well as writing the stories.

When I decided I wanted to go independent, not self-publish in paper but online, I saw several benefits. The biggie is that the books would be out there, and I would own my work. I would have control of the whole process. I knew from the start that marketing would be the problem, something I knew very little about but see as part of life in many ways that we often don't think about. For me, the idea of marketing, where it had come to my paintings or sculptures, had been almost a bad word.  I had to change that view to see my books not disappear into the black hole of Kindle.

From the get go, I made a decision that I would not put money into any of it until the books made a little money. I would, at least to begin, invest what they created.  I have heard of people who put over a thousand dollars into getting just one book out. I had a lot more than one, and I felt putting money into it would increase the pressure on me to see them sell. What if they didn't-- despite paying someone else for editing, graphic artists, publicists, etc.? With no money in it, I felt I could afford to let them sit there until the right readers came along.

Taking that view didn't mean I intended to do nothing about attracting interest to the books. Although I opted to not push them here, that was as much selfish as noble. I didn't want to lose readers who had come here for discussion of ideas, politics, photos, or something about the farm and had not come for sales of books. I didn't want to change what Rainy Day Thoughts was originally meant to be. So sales not-- but the creative end of it, well that does belong here sometimes.

While my process of editing and publishing was going forth, art has been a surprising part of it all . At first I thought how neat I know how to do this. Then the covers became a less positive issue. I learned there is a bit of prejudice against indie writers from readers who comment in the Forums. They look at covers as a sign of whether the authors are going to do sloppy, amateur writing. They really thought a graphics artist should be hired. Besides my view of not spending money, I also believed I could do the work-- after all I knew art. The thing was I didn't know the readers and their expectations.

Bottom-line, there was no way I could afford a good graphics artist and a bad one would put up something maybe showy but not fit my work or characters. Besides, I wanted to do this. So I set about looking at what would work, what needed to be changed, and redoing covers again and again. I wrote a lot about that in the writing blog.

Doing those covers, plus reading the forums led me to learn something else-- they make trailers for books. Who knew! For me, once I saw a few trailers, the idea of creating my own was attractive even though I was also reading that trailers don't actually sell books  (not hard to see why given most folks probably don't know they even exist).

Well there was no choice for it, I had to do one... and then two and now three. After all, my goal for this has all along been to turn out the best and most complete product I can. A trailer was too big a temptation to resist-- sell books or not sell books.

So taking my art a step beyond the covers (while editing a story that I put out on Friday the 13th-- just because) led to creating trailers. It's like an addiction and more about how it's done and what I've done with it comes next as this is already too long.

Getting good deals on Kindle books

Since I got my Kindle, I have become a fan. The problem though for new owners (once they get used to reading books a new way) is finding books at an economical price.

Frankly I won't be buying any bestsellers for my eReaders. The price isn't competitive considering you can resell a paper book; but an eBook, all you can do is loan it or delete it.

What I have discovered though is there are a lot of economical reads out there especially if they are by writers who either wrote for a publishing house earlier and got their rights back; or are indie writers-- going ePub instead of corporate. The problem is finding them. Since I've learned a few ways, I thought I'd share them.

First of all, of course, is buying old classics especially if you can get them in collections. They are usually quite reasonable and you then have, whenever you want it, access to writers you probably would not want to have on your shelf for the space they'd take up. An example for $2.99-- Complete Plays of Shakespeare or for $.00-- Leaves of Grass-- Walt Whitman.

The free ones aren't always the best deal though as a table of contents, making it easier to navigate, is valuable and usually still only a couple of dollars. With almost all of these books, you can get sample pages to determine if the text is as you want. Some classics have been scanned; and although you do get the book, it can be harder to find anything in it. I got a wonderful research book on Oregon history free that way, one I couldn't buy today anywhere; so it was worth it being a scan as I do have the information at least.

As you are thinking what classics you might want, there are also sales. I regularly check Daily Cheap Reads where all the books are under $5 for the day. You never know what you will find. They are a mix of nonfiction, fiction, Christian-- Some by well-known writers and from publishing houses. I have yet to see a current best seller though.

Always check when you go to the link to be sure the book is still on sale for that price. Recently I bought Giants, the Parallel Lives of Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln by John Stauffer.  I paid $1.99 for a book otherwise listed at $9.99. I won't know until I read it if it's a great read, but I didn't invest much if it isn't.

Then there is hitting the Amazon Forums. My favorite is the one for authors where readers are welcome-- Meet Our Authors .  Sort down through the topics to threads. They are there for non-fiction and pretty much any genre you might wish. You will find a link to the book as well as a promo for what the book is about. Mostly authors who post there are independent and not from a publishing house which is why the prices are generally better.

You can check quality of writing from these independent writers by looking at samples which should be free. Frankly if an author didn't offer a sample, I'd avoid them. Samples can be the first chapter or scattered throughout the book. They pretty well tell you if this is a well edited story and whether the style of writing is something you would like.


In researching this, I came across this site which looked good-- 5 Websites for free Kindle books.  It had one website that covered classics.  I haven't  perused it much yet, but I will when I have time.

I know a lot of you don't want to give up your paper books. That's fine but think about this kind of reading as an adjunct. Lightweight, easy to get a book fast, bookmarking possible, and easier on your eyes than a computer (although when you buy a Kindle, you can read it on your computer if you prefer. I don't as I spend too much time looking at a computer screen already).

And if you aren't ready to try the eReaders just yet, bookmark those cheap sites as someday you might be glad you have them :)

Please check this out

For anyone who values the Internet as it's been, please check this out for more information. Our freedoms are constantly being infringed upon and it's only us staying informed that changes that.

Congress is close to destroying the Internet.

eReaders

When people discuss the eReaders, for some the issue is their familiarity and liking of paper. They have grown up with books being readily available and they are resistant to losing that sensory experience and switching to an electronic media.

For me, this was never a problem. I had been turned off on the weight of reading hardback books; so a plus for me was the lightweight of the Kindle. I got more than one migraine later from reading a heavy book in bed, holding it up, of course, and finding it irritated my neck later. I don't live near a library for borrowing books and had a bookshelf (okay 5 of them) full of books and overflowing. Electronic media means a new way to read without acquiring more 'stuff'.

What I bought to start was both a Nook (for color and internet access) and a Kindle. Very quickly I discovered I favored the Kindle for book reading and color didn't matter for most of what I was buying. I select my books by using my computer (where I do see color), reading the reviews, and then read them later on the Kindle where the text is easy on the eyes, its lightweight is perfect, and I don't look at the cover again anyway. The Nook has the advantage of being lit which is good at night if you are reading in bed with a partner wanting to sleep but otherwise being lit doesn't matter.

Either one is great for exercising with the Nordic Track or if someone had a treadmill. I had been using paperback books but they weren't as easy to read or turn pages. We already had a clipboard on the bar which made it quite easy to use the Kindle or Nook for my (mostly daily) time with it.

The one place that so far I am not thinking I will be using either one is research where I either want to print off things from the Internet or buy books that I can highlight and bookmark. I know I could do that with the Kindle but have this feeling scanning with it would not be as easy as it is with a paper book. Lately I am researching 1865 or thereabouts Oregon and buying the books seems the right answer as I'd save no money with getting them from Kindle and, more over when the project is finished, I couldn't resell them.

Kindle stores the books easily, makes it easy to access what I've been reading or add another. In fact getting new books is too easy. I think the whole thing can be addictive especially since Amazon sends me out emails suggesting I might like this or that book. I don't know if it's a regular event but I got one such email giving me 100 titles for a set span of them at sale prices under $4.  Usually I check Kindle and Nook to see if there is a price difference and often the type of books for which I am looking are a bit cheaper with Kindle.

So far if I wanted to read a bestseller, I'd probably still buy the book from say Costco where the price is reduced  (making it around the same price) and I could later sell the book at one of my favorite used book outlets. If I am buying a paperback, I won't pay more than I could get it used. Mostly the Kindle prices on the books, not by best selling authors, are cheaper than my used store.

This whole thing is a totally addictive awareness as in it used to be I'd see a book online and think I'd like it but I'd generally have to wait to purchase it. Now I get this heady sense of power that I can have them instantly. One click and it's mine. I need to make a budget.

I have not yet tried library borrowing; but from what I am told one library (where I'd have to pay a yearly fee to join) is only letting readers have a book for a week. That could be a drawback. I know the publishing houses didn't like them being in libraries at all, and wanted to set it up with so many rentals and then their copy disappears. That hardly seems fair as libraries have always been a cheaper way for a lot of people to access books.

I have made some mistakes in what I have bought, but it's easy to delete them as despite reviews and a few sample pages, I do think I get a better sense of whether I'd like a book when I am scanning it in a bookstore. I have learned you want a Table of Contents as that enables easily going here or there in a hurry.

Whichever story you are reading (and I might have two or three going at the same time), when you click on that book, it'll take you instantly to where you were. On mine changing where that is through a different chapter is done by hitting Menu and a Go To option which is where the Table of Contents is useful. I also now have collections set up which will make it easier to find things in the future and keep the collection from being unwieldy.

The Nook, for me, was less intuitive and takes more to figure out how to use it but the Kindle (mine is the mid range without the advertising banner and without color), I could pick it all up without reading the tutorial, which does come with it.

The advantage of the Nook will come later when its battery can be replaced locally but the Kindle will require sending it in (as best I understand it). I have no idea how long a battery will keep being easily recharged.

As things stand, when we put up my own books, I think they will be in both Kindle and Nook and not sure about other places. Each place you submit them requires a different format. Google eReaders can (as I understand it) access off either the Kindle or the Nook with an app.

Using eReaders have more confusing aspects to publishing your own work; but for reading other people's, I am very happy with the service. It is also going to make my bookshelves happy as they were overflowing with books I didn't want to sell. Yes, I have long been a book addict-- I've just now added a new way to be addicted.

Cometh July

Everybody who does a blog probably off and on runs into flat times. Then there are those times when there is simply too much going on to do justice to posting anything in their blog. I am in one of those places again and will be for most of the month of July depending.

Early this week was a trip to town for the funeral for a man who used to live out by us and still owns most of the land behind our property. That was a time to connect with a few neighbors (out here a neighbor can live 7 miles or more away) and learn some things I never did about the gentleman who had by the way led a very full and long life. I might write more about that later or perhaps not depending.

Then came jury orientation. Yes, I was called to be in the jury pool for the months of July and August. *groan* I look forward to summer all year and when it gets here, I may or may not be on a jury, but it's going to be possible and I'll have to check every Friday night to see if the next week will involve me until I get called-- if I get called. It is, however, one trial or one day depending; so one could hope short trial...

When the letter came to tell me I'd have to do this early in June, Farm Boss laughed. I didn't feel it was funny at all. It's about the last thing I wanted to do during the summer. Any other time it would matter less to me. Then when I got there and saw the courtroom where orientation was happening, full of people who likely also didn't want to do it, I saw it as just what will have to be if I get called.

My feelings are complicated by this since I have mixed thoughts regarding our legal system with the way juries are never given all the evidence and yet must make a decision based on what they are allowed to hear plus the law. Being who I am that doesn't set well but we'll see how this turns out-- hopefully not with me in contempt of court (nah couldn't happen I am too polite for that... I hope).

Then next week come two of the grandchildren again for a week which is good but driving down to get them and take them back means a lot of time on the freeway, not so good. After that is a week which might be free (or not) depending on the jury situation, but the following week is a family planned trip which other than it being a family trip, is vague for what we will all be doing. Probably camping though for at least part of it.

Oh and in there somewhere has to be sheep shearing (we hope to find a shearer still) and getting in the rest of the winter's hay which is the task for the muscle and big equipment operator here, Farm Boss, but it does impact life for me too.

There is also my writing with which I am still very involved. It's going well as in I am enjoying it a lot. One more manuscript just edited to a point where I feel good about it. That leaves four to go before I start back over the ones that looked finished but might not seem that way in a month.

I am trying to do each of them slow, get the feelings and dialogue right, make sure the plot flows; and then come back through fast for the silly mistakes where if I don't read it together, I forget what was not fitting (like a heroine's eyes changing from brown to green... A lot can change in a character's development, but that's not one. Thank goodness for Word's find feature!)

As part of that, I have moved where I write as a way to make it easier when the grandchildren are here. We had a small glass desk in the solarium and it is now in a corner of the living room. It's working very very well so far, great creative energy and I can more easily use music when I choose to do so. It is likely not the end of the jockeying around as I have a vague concept of what still needs to be done to make my work spaces all really flow when guests are here.

In short, for the month of July, posts here will come when they come... Maybe sometimes just a photo. August may not be a lot less full, but I'll deal with that when it comes.

Human relationships in the age of the Internet

Actually, I would have titled this 'sex in the age of the internet' but didn't want search engines to deliver every reader to me who hoped for something salacious. This is more a sociological look at sexuality from the perspective of-- that depends on what the meaning of IS is.

Is internet sex really sex? Are those who engage in it, as so many have done, actually cheating the same as if they had an equal number of real time sexual partners like John F. Kennedy allegedly had?

If a person doesn't get sexually excited at the idea of showing someone else a nude photo of themselves, this is all kind of strange territory. It's strange for me where nudity is a natural thing not a pornographic one.

Living and Living Online

In the interests of being open here (photos will not be illustrating this piece), Farm Boss and I have taken nude photos through the years. The first were in our twenties with a borrowed Polaroid camera. That was fun. I lost those particular photos a few years ago as I had them in a manilla envelope where I kept other photos I was using to help me with a painting (I was doing both nude paintings and sculptures at the time). I set the plain looking envelope aside and somehow it (with them all) disappeared. Very bizarre but unless the angels took them, I am guessing they got thrown out by accident which is a shame given I was young then and the photos a lot more flattering than those in later years.

Off and on, in assorted outdoor settings, we did them, but all were what I call artistic shots-- like a bare breast against a cactus-- not literally against it, of course. None have ever been pornographic and not remotely seen as sexual by either of us. If you have seen the photos that Alfred Stieglitz took of Georgia O'Keeffe, you have the general idea of what these were like.

As a humorous side note, back then, if they weren't Polaroids, we had to take them to a lab to get them developed and that was the risky part because these were never intended for anybody but ourselves and to help my art work. One year we had been in Tucson, taken some down along Sabino Creek in a remote area, found a one hour lab which seemed the safest way as they had less time to look at the images. When Farm Boss went back to get them, the guy gave him a funny look and said they weren't quite ready. Our assumption was he made copies for himself. Those were the risks you took back then and nothing you could really do about it either.

Now with digital and webcams, it's quite simple to get photos and have them safely developed-- unless you send them out over the internet. That's where the rub comes in and what made the difference between what say John F. Kennedy did and now what Anthony Weiner did. Weiner left behind a cyber trail of sexually explicit photos and words that didn't just leave it as one person's word against another. He left positive proof and gave it to women he didn't really know which means he had no idea how they would use any of it.

Although this essay really isn't about him, it is triggered by what happened to him. It's about the internet and sexuality. It is how I think people who have a problem with firm boundaries get in trouble because it's now so easy to step over a line-- inch by inch. Farm Boss and I might see what we have done as being artistic and done for the sheer fun and challenge of being able to do it-- not for a sexual high. I am no fool to think it's how they might be seen by others. As what is acceptable to one person is horrifying to another.

The Virtual World's Mandatory Morality

When I painted nude paintings of men and women it was because it was for me liberating and yes, innocent. It wasn't about sex but about nature. It was and is a part of who I see myself as-- a being of nature.

And to those who don't see nudity as ever okay, it's why it might seem strange that I find what Weiner did to be the opposite of liberating. His actions, and those like him who use the internet as a way to be a legal voyeur, were all about ego enhancement, his own.

Maybe it came from a man who had been a boy women didn't desire and he has spent his life trying to reassure himself he is desirable. Maybe he's one of those people who loves a double life, likes secretly knowing he's a bad boy while he pretends to be a loyal husband or servant of the people. Maybe he had an addiction. I don't really know. I don't even want to know, not one more thing about him. I just want to quit hearing about it.

Why he did it, well that's for psychologists to ruminate over. BUT what he did next, that's when it applies to any of those who want to play around, at a distance or close up-- are they willing to pay the price if it comes out? Weiner not only lied. He tried to cover it up and the cover up became the worst offense to most people. He went into panic mode; and it appears has ruined his career and if he's not lucky, his life by what came next.

I think (personal opinion) that if someone wants to play around sexually, nearby or far away, they better have counted the cost. Sure a lot get away with it but a lot more do not. It is amazing how easy it is to find something coming out in a totally unexpected way. If you can't pay, don't play. Weiner hadn't done that, wasn't prepared for what he'd do if he got caught because if he had, knowing what else was out there, he would have admitted the truth the first day as the Republican representative from upstate New York did.

Sexual relationships in the age of the internet definitely have changed the options and the risks. For one thing, you really never know if who you are talking to is who they claim to be.

It's easy for me to see how someone can get in over their head fairly fast if they don't have boundaries clearly established. Weiner said in his press conference that there were six women... my guess is there are more and he was listing the number with whom he scored (if you can call it scoring). If there are more, one who is underage (a story that is circulating) then he's about to have legal troubles to go along with his social and career ones.

In the years I have been online (and sometimes in person), I, like probably many of you, have had those who have said something to me that I recognized as a testing of the waters for something more than casual. Only a very few, back in the chat room years, tried to go beyond that if they didn't get a favorable response from me. So I am guessing that Weiner hit on a lot of women, some who might've encouraged him first or others that he just liked how they looked; and if they responded at all, he was off with it and whatever he got out of a long distance, physical only with himself relationship. That is what the internet can provide, and whether a person sees it as a blessing or a curse depends on how it is used.

The internet, where it comes to personal relationships, is a lure and a hook. It can be used in a very positive way, to bring in information from around the world, a network that is seemingly unlimited for its potential and from which we can very much benefit, where we can make friends from anywhere. It has spoiled me totally for how fast I can get an answer to a question say about history, but there is a potential dark side to its use. The options are all under our control-- for awhile.

If people don't have a firm sense of their personal boundaries, then this kind of seemingly loose system can get them in huge trouble! I am not totally sure how we learn what appropriate boundaries are for us, probably taught by experience and parents (who sometimes are wrong), but a sense of boundaries are essential in a world where the culture doesn't force limitations onto people but often punishes them when they step over a line which they may have originally thought was harmless but ends up anything but.

And with the Weiner story, it's hard to say where it will end, hopefully not with a tragedy. He was reckless and didn't know the people he talked to or even their ages--not for sure. If he was sending such photos to someone underage, then he will face criminal charges.

It's too bad he didn't have a sense of boundaries because now we hear he and his wife are expecting a baby. Hopefully whatever happens with his career, his possible legal problems, he can get this together before he becomes a Schwarzenegger.

Catfish and some thoughts that came from it

Once again, warning, if you have not seen Catfish, the documentary, but intend to do so, skip reading this blog because although it doesn't go into the plot, the ideas do come out of it. Catfish spoiler ahead on the other side of the ocean photo which has absolutely no relationship to the movie but serves to save someone from reading something they wouldn't want to see before the film.


One of the big questions I sometimes have when watching any film is how they came up with that title. Where in this case, I knew the story because of Angela, the woman who lied, being on 20/20 and the film being shown at Sundance last year. Also I had read of the younger woman whose photos had been misused because she had them posted somewhere online. What I didn't know is how the filmmakers came up with the title.

The title is important to the meaning of this film. It goes way beyond deception on the internet, or watching out where you post your photos (in fact one sexy photo online is too many if you don't want it showing up elsewhere). The title is why this film has so much life meaning. You find out how it came to be at the end of the film in one of the last scenes filmed at Angela's home and with her husband, Vince. At this point, the three young men know the whole story of what Angela did and maybe Vince, her husband, only partly grasps it but he's sympathetic to the wife who has so lovingly tended her stepsons. He himself seems a little mentally challenged right up until this moment.

He tells them a story of how years ago they used to ship cod alive in big tanks to Japan from the United States. There was a problem. By the time the cod arrived, they were mushy and not the quality of meat that would have been desired. Then the shippers discovered if they put catfish in the tank, it kept the cod challenged and active. They arrived in good shape for eating.

He said that some people are like catfish in our lives. They might not seem beneficial, but they are the ones that challenge us, that make us more than we might've been otherwise.

The easy people in our lives don't do that. It's the others-- the ones who are difficult in various ways. Those aren't the ones we think we want. We like the atta-boys but which ones help us grow? that was his point.

I really like how this fits into that word I got in a dream-- entropy. Entropy is what seems to have gone astray, been not helping us do what we want but entropy might be like the catfish for how beneficial it can be. The unintended accidents take us directions we'd never have gone but that lead us to becoming someone we'd never have been. We don't ask for such but we can use it.

When the filmmakers got close to showing the film at Sundance, they were still undecided on a title as they didn't want one that gave it all away. A filmmaker who had seen it told them there could only be one title-- Catfish which eventually they saw also. It tells it all but it doesn't give away anything.

The interaction between Angela and Nev pretty well says it all for the complexity of relationships-- on both sides. She was looking for a different life that she couldn’t have and wouldn’t have gone to if she could have with her responsibilities and love for her family, but she wasn’t the only one in that situation.

Nev also wanted something more. As daring as she was to create this life that was so complex to please him, he also did whatever it took, once he got into it, to reveal the truth of who she was. He didn't stop with the lie but he wanted to show the real Angela, who he knew so well but as many different people, not the one extremely complex person she was. Behind a smiling sweet facade was another woman, the one she was inside but would never be outside.

For Angela, although her being revealed as a liar was humiliating, it also was a door that opened to her changing her own life, being more who she wanted to be and promoting the paintings as her own.

Part of the reason Angela had created Abby as being the artist was that her work wasn't respected when it was hers but when it was a child protege, she thought it would be seen as of more interest.

Getting art (and art means all of them including writing) out to the public, finding a market for it is one of the problems of anyone who does it hoping for it to at least pay for itself if not go further and provide a living. There is no logic to why one painter/writer can sell and another is sneered at. You go into any art gallery and you will see work there that you can see just as good in someone's attic gathering dust.

Selling art is complicated as they are not just selling the painting but the artist behind it. It's not as though everyone buys a painting with the idea of having a big investment to grow in value, but after a certain dollar figure, I think that does play into purchases. Angela had found she couldn't meet the criteria as herself. Should her work have been able to stand on its own merits if it wasn't being done by a child protege?

The truth is there would not be those openings where the artists schmooze the potential buyers if the artist wasn't part of the sale. Angela as herself had nothing to offer at least she didn't until after this documentary came out.

In a lot of ways she was a strong woman. She faced her problems and chose unorthodox methods to find solutions. We don't like that because we don't like being fooled and yet I think the viewer finds an understanding that comes as she discusses what she did. The viewer sees it as the wrong way to go at it but sympathizes with the why.

Angela had a gift but where she lived and looking like she did, it was going nowhere fast. If she had had someone marketing her work, maybe she could have done it without fitting the image, but she didn't. She knew the ropes though which is why she had sent the painting to Nev with the hope it would open a door. Her lie, of having bought an old Penney's building as a gallery for Abby's painting, was part of a dream that was beyond her reach.

So the film makes the viewer think about their own dreams, about the impact of lies, and most of all about fooling ourselves. It also illustrates the ease with which the Internet can defraud and steal from us. It also shows it for the powerful tool it is. It can create a world.

If there is ever a place entropy can go off many unexpected directions, I'd say the internet would be a biggie, not only the radiation that we get from all those wireless devices, but the information/misinformation that does things to our mind and life that we might find very surprising if we looked at it analytically.

As a side note, it is also a lesson to any who have their photos, especially family ones, online anywhere. They can be so easily taken and put under another name. When I first read about the film last fall, it was from the end of the young woman who Nev thought was Megan but in reality only existed in that little internet world Angela had created. The photos were of a model with two children who wanted to promote herself online and ended up being part of other people's stories. They did say she received some compensation for using her images in the film. Hard to say if that was enough given the invasion of privacy that was involved. On the other hand, she apparently had some near nude photos online which Angela used to entice Nev further into her world. If people put nude photos online, maybe publicity is exactly what they want. Who knows. (Incidentally, for anyone who thinks those might be in the film, they were not."