My Fellow Americans

Many of us have been immersed in politics for at least the last two years, as this long campaign seemed to, at times, stretch almost back to 2004. As a recommendation for a mental health break, one that pokes fun at politics, might I suggest renting My Fellow Americans. If you have seen it before, you know why. If you have not, as we had not, you will have a great surprise ahead with a lot of laughs but also some digs that remain as true today as in 1996.

We hadn't seen it when it came out. To be honest, I hadn't heard of it, but one day we had found it in the reduced DVD section at Walmart or Target. From there it sat in our bookshelf for maybe a year or more until the night before the Inauguration when we needed something light and thought this was worth a try.

How can you go wrong with James Garner and Jack Lemmon playing warring ex-presidents, from very different political agendas, who suddenly find themselves forced to be allies in a run for their lives. These two old men are just so great as they cleverly remind us nothing has changed; and that is what made it so funny and at the same time sweet. There are few things as good as watching old pros at work in anything they do well. Let's hear it for age and experience!

If you are not yet convinced, this is a trailer from the film:

My Fellow Americans

And a short clip from the film itself to give you an idea of the movie. Actually someone has evidently put the whole thing up on YouTube but my suggestion is rent it from Netflix or the old section in your video store, fix a bowl of popcorn, light a fire in the fireplace (if you have one if not some candles), and settle back for some laughs-- which are even funnier if you follow politics.

Herd satisfaction

Satisfaction in a herd requires

a good supply of food--
on a farm, that'd be hayIdeally it should appear
magically and not interfere
in a cow's day.
It should never not be there
and a cow knows how to let
ranchers know when it's not on time.

Add to it a little sunshine
preferably on a knoll
with time to chew cuds and
meditate on the meaning of life
(well they might, who knows)

It's even better with the new calf nearby
as mama does guard duty-- and she does.

Housekeeping Blog Note: I had liked a system I saw on other blogs called Blog List because it lets the reader know when fresh blogs have been posted and their titles. I finally got around to updating mine. If there is an easier way, I didn't find it and had to do each one individually. It was worth it though as it leaves me on my original page while able to read others and comment when I have something to say.

Unfortunately, I soon realized that not all blogs can be found by the system which made it appear as though they weren't writing something new when they were. The temporary fix, until I figure out why this happens, is going to be two blog lists and the second one has as many blogs that I enjoy reading as the first. I also have on the second list informational blogs.

I believe the blog list or roll is one of the neat features of blogger. I know many prefer the newer follower system; but when I visit blogs of those who have it, the follower list tells me nothing about who those followers are. Yes, I could probably click on it but that takes more time than I often have. I have found several interesting new blogs through Blog List threads from other people's blogs.

Blogs are about writing ourselves but also a network. For me, blog list makes that network easier to navigate.

Inaugurating hope

Along with most Americans, I wish Barack Obama well as he takes on an awesome task of being our president at a time when we are heavily in debt, fighting two wars, threatened by terrorism, in an economic meltdown, facing a world with many countries fracturing into chaos, questions of climate shifts, and on the list goes. There are massive problems on the home front and abroad. If he does well, nobody will say he inherited an easy road. No matter what he does, he will have a lot of people complaining.

Already there are gripes about the cost of this Inaugural. Too much money when the times are tough. Then come the complaints he got money from the rich which means they will run the country (not bad if you can get that for a mere $100,000). It even displeased some that he did a piece for Parade magazine on his family. Wasting time they say. Wasting money they say.

Well I say that the Inauguration is a celebration for the people, and Obama is using it to make people feel good about this country again. Good feelings won't solve all of our problems, but they are a start. Lack of trust has broken our system. Trust is what it has been based on.

We are better as a people than it has sometimes seemed-- and I don't mean just the right or the left but all of us together. The recent plane crash in New York City was a reminder of that as people rushed to help others, as the system worked as well as it can in a disaster. This celebration is another.

If you watched the gala on Sunday, you saw artists coming together to praise love, family, and country. That program was not without a purpose! This Inaugural isn't money wasted. Between the attack of 9/11, the failures after Katrina, the war in Iraq, using torture against all international conventions, abuse of the Constitution, the world has doubted us, and we haven't felt very good about ourselves; what better place to begin re-inspiring us than a big celebration from the small to the powerful-- music and words to remind us of from where we have come and where we want to go. Obama has always says he can't remake our families, our system by himself. His goal now, as it has been all along, is for us to make it happen.

The stock market falls when people leave it due to loss of faith. Stores go broke when people don't buy. Jobs are lost when people can't spend. It's a vicious circle. No bank has the money to give everyone the money they deposited. People have to trust that it's there or it goes bust.

Right now Americans, the world for that matter, are not feeling very trusting. This celebration has been and is about beginning to restore that trust. Obama is no fool and this Inaugural isn't just for him. If you watched his face during the Lincoln Memorial Celebration, you saw it. This was done for all of us.

Then there has been fear about the money a few wealthy gave over the supposed limits, gave because the 2002 McCain-Feingold bill allowing it, but gave in the open-- no paper sacks. It was beggared by the amount given by the average people. Donations came from all economic levels.

Obama has been saying it all along-- this victory belongs to the people and from all walks of life. People gave according to what they could afford and for some that might have meant $100,000 and for others $25. He valued all those gifts because people voted with their actions, not just their words.

His poll numbers are sky high right now, but they won't remain there. He knows that. He speaks of it every chance he gets. From the start, he has said it will take all of us and that's the real question. Will all of us keep working for this or sit back, turn on our TVs, and wait for somebody else to do it?

To analyze what Obama's chances for success are, what skills he brings with him, Andrew Sullivan wrote a powerful piece. It is what I also believe:

An Old Soul

After this big celebration is over, Obama is going to do what he can. From everything I have seen of him, he will do his best. There might be mistakes. He says there will, but he says he is doing this for us-- from the rich to the poor, the red and blue states, all races. The Inauguration has been a joyous testimony to that. Enjoy it. It's not wasted money. It's a start for what needs to be done. This is a guy who 'gets it'.

The photo is of our flag, given to us by my mother. It's getting old, but I fly it for various important times. This is one. She would have been proud to see this day!

Bush commutes sentences

Might I say that I am proud of President Bush for making this decision: Bush commutes sentences of Border Agents.

Yes, sometimes force goes too far; but if you studied this case, it looks to me like it was an overreaction for the amount of time to which these men were sentenced. They have served more than enough time. If you want law on the border, in an increasing dangerous time, then you can't make the people enforcing it second guess their decisions where delaying can cost them their own lives. We are lucky anyone wants to do the job. I find fault with Bush a lot but this seemed to me the right call.

Good news

Because after I had written last year about my brother's learning he had prostate cancer, and some of you have asked how he was, I wanted to tell you the good news. He finished his chemotherapy and radiation in December. They gave his body time to build back up and he had surgery the 13th. He is now home with the good news that they got it all. It had not spread to the lymph nodes or anywhere else; so it all looks very good. He's feeling surprisingly well after the surgery and said he has virtually no pain already. What a relief.Once more I want to recommend to all men to be sure you get yearly blood tests for prostate cancer. It seems I know more and more men who have had it and by getting the blood test, you can catch it before it spreads. My brother's cancer was caught with the blood test in a very early stage but it was a particularly virulent type which most likely would have killed him if he had not been proactive with that test. Routinely get that test, guys!Also he was very high on the great care he got through Veterans Hospital and how wonderful his doctor was. They took good care of him and gave him the best possible chance to beat this thing. VA sometimes has people who find fault with it but it has fine hospitals and doctors and for my brother it was a life saver.
All of these pictures are from a Sunday hike into a nature area near the farm-- small pieces of what I saw-- little vignettes of nature that created almost abstract paintings with how the colors and shapes lay. They are of the small stream, frost on leaves, lichens, fungi, reflections in a puddle, oh and something that didn't grow there but enjoyed her time in the woods very much.

Mexico becoming like Somalia?

[If all you want to do right now is enjoy the inauguration and feel good about a change finally coming, quit reading right now, and come back another day. My mood has not been celebratory as I read so many articles of problems that seem way too big for fixing. We will definitely need a lot of luck in the next four years as well as skill.]

Among the questions that might limit a person's capability of making a dream come true, it is impossible to ignore what has been happening in Mexico and in many other places around the world. While the media's interest has been centered on terrorism from Muslim sources, what about what is going on closer to home?

This week I read an article about how Mexico has the potential to break apart and become another Somalia with pirates and a government unwilling or incapable of controlling anything. Unfortunately I didn't bookmark it at the time, but it was easy to find a lot of articles warning of the same thing: Mexican violence growing, "Join us or die", and Intelligence study predicts more Mexican violence.

Americans, who do not live in border states and who don't read about the kidnappings for ransoms and killings, the police forces that often the citizens would be afraid to call for fear of which side they were on, often see the Mexican situation purely in terms of a source to get their illegal drugs or inexpensive laborers.

Oh you think most Americans disapprove of illegals coming up here for jobs? If those jobs weren't here, they wouldn't come. How many have all too happily paid construction or landscaping contractors who they clearly know are hiring illegals but the price is too good to miss and after all they are one degree removed from a crime, right?

The violence problem isn't in the laborers, who are often good people. It's who brings them and the drugs across the line. It is what has been created in the doing of it.

If you live in Arizona, you know what it's like and how the border has changed. My first time down there was 1965 and as young adults, we could play out in the desert, walk up arroyos and only have to worry about rattlesnakes. There weren't coyotes (the human kind), who started out just bringing across illegals but were soon bringing up drugs (or was it the other way around?).

Back then I could go anywhere in Nogales with an easy walk across the border and it was fun to shop. It seemed like it would have been a good place to live, not a lot of money but a good feeling from the people who sold their crafts with pride. Ask if it's good today with kidnappings, gun battles between rival drug gangs, and those who have moved into the border because of the opportunities.

I have seen the change on both sides of the border. I remember one of our trips into Arizona's back country, dirt and gravel roads down along the border, and having a militia jeep in camouflage speed up to check us out, followed by half an hour later, closer to the border, a fast driving Border agent. I know what is in the back country and how risky it can be to see the wrong thing.

Another time, we were driving one of those back roads and saw ahead two vehicles blocking the road. We slowed. Was it neighbors visiting or something that would mean we needed to have our own gun ready? The vehicles broke apart for us to pass. We always traveled with a gun down there-- in the open as the concealed permit up here is not good in Arizona but open carry is permitted in the back country. It likely wouldn't have been enough protection given the kind of people one might come across and who you don't want to come across.

As far back as 2000, I saw how Nogales had changed (in case anyone wants to blame this only on Bush). The feel of the street had an undercurrent that made me very uncomfortable and from what I have read, it's only gotten worse. I wouldn't go there anymore and wouldn't need the current US government warning to know it; or if you do, to go alert. How could that have happened to such a joyful little town?

From what I am reading (and it is especially scary to me with a home in Arizona but should be to all Americans as what starts one place grows), Mexico is a nation much in danger of having a totally ineffective government, where violence is more and more uncontrolled-- and sometimes is the 'government.' What if Mexico does become another Somalia? That border fence that was never finished, barely started, it won't contain what grows there.

Dreams have to be practical and they grow best in fertile soil. What kind of soil are we as a nation preparing for ourselves? I don't say we can blame our own government for what is going wrong in Mexico, but we better not kid ourselves about what it is. It is another huge problem that Obama is inheriting and that often isn't even discussed. We need to be thinking of some answers if we don't want those kidnappings to spread up here. In case you thought it was just the wealthy, it is not. When a culture runs amok, the most ruthless take what they want.

Joint Forces report warns Mexico and Pakistan could destabilize. One is on our border and the other with nukes. Is this what the Bush administration meant by the spread of democracy?

Rice gave Bush a going away gift of five flags representing countries he had liberated as the Senate and House praised themselves on their own good work: [A Plaque on all their Houses by Dana Milbank]. They might fool themselves and think by saying something it will be true, but the American people better be a little more realistic-- a lot more.

I know how many people would rather not even read something like this, but it's there and not knowing won't make it go away. Being prepared, coming up with real ideas to make a difference, that could make it go away. It better because if we remain blind, what is coming ahead will be worse than what has been behind.

something fun

Weather and Global Warming

What of the land into which our dreams will be planted? Abraham Maslow created a diagram to illustrate how needs work: Maslow's Pyramid. Basically it is that if we are supplied with the basics, we can move up the pyramid to satisfy ourselves. What if the basics are threatened? Even a culture that deems itself sophisticated will revert to primal needs without which man does not survive.

Will global warming lead to a new ice age? is an article from 2003 and a reminder that the extreme winter temperatures we have been seeing, weather patterns that seem unpredictable and at times surprisingly intense, all would be part of global climate change-- something that has been the pattern of earth. The kind of temperate world we grew up in, where mankind's culture has flourished, has not been the norm though earth's history.

There is glee among those who believe a possible new ice age would disprove global warming and hence make Al Gore look wrong. Amazing how some would cut off their noses to spite their faces. A new ice age, mini or not, would not be good news for humans living on this planet.

The problem we are facing today with weather shifts is that we don't know what to expect as mankind hasn't got a recorded history long enough to know. We also didn't have so many people that the surface of the earth has to support.

Sunday night I watched The Day After Tomorrow again. It's a good adventure story but also brings up what might be the result of what is called global warming because while earth's overall temperatures would be warmer, warmer temperatures everywhere are not the result. In fact, it has been surmised that global warming might have been the precursor to the earth's many ice ages.

To add to the questions of what lies ahead of our world physically, I watched History Channel on Sunday as it went into the prophecies of Nostradamus, the Mayans, the Masons, Judeo Christianity, and can't remember if there was anyone else but you get the drift. There are enough dire prophecies going around, that don't have to be scientific, to lead to movies like 2012 by Roland Emerich, who loves to make disaster films. Do films like these numb people to evaluating what might be happening? Politics definitely get in the way of preparing for what might be coming.

Disaster movies don't have to be based on reality (Volcano in LA?) but rather on possibility-- in some cases a slim thread. The thing is that life on the planet has changed many times and it could again. What happens to humans then? The lucky ones might die in the first disasters.

Yes, it is part of my dream thinking to consider what physical reality might lie ahead. Are we really facing global extremes in terms of the climate? If we are about to face gigantic physical problems on the earth, dreams will of necessity change.

I don't really believe the earth will end in 2012 Mayan calendar ending there or not. Still, it would be foolish to believe it will always go on as it is right now. Change will come. It always has. The question is what will it mean to our dreams?

Winter photographs

In terms of scenery, I love the bare bones of the desert. Areas that others go through sighing there is nothing there, I am in awe over watching how a shadow falls, where I see multiple ridges of mountains. I like it when I see the lines, the openness; so it's not surprising I find aesthetic beauty in the Coast Range during the winter when the leaves are gone and the land is more revealed.

Yes, it's the season of mud or snow, rain and fog, but it's also the misty season when the bare bones of the hills and trees are revealed, the skies are much more interesting with their storm patterns, and I love trying to photograph what I feel. The misty quality seems to add a spirituality to the land which more lush times would hide.

It's not the season of harvesting but rather of waiting.


I live in a valley in the Oregon Coast Range but when I leave the farm on my way to town, it doesn't take long before I see the Cascades, a land of dormant volcanoes, tall trees, lakes and rivers. On the other side of them lies Central and Eastern Oregon with sage brush, pine, and juniper. This photo is of Mt. Jefferson.

Wolf Moon

Because January's was a powerful full moon, I wanted a photograph of it. Naturally Oregon's weather didn't cooperate with its cloudy skies which at best took away all the details and at worst hid the moon completely. I woke up Sunday morning (about 5:35 AM) to see a break in the clouds which led to a mad dash to get the camera and telephoto set up on a tripod.

Although I was seeing the details of the moon and the clouds, something mystical and very beautiful, the camera didn't cooperate with capturing both in the same photo. The compromise was to do a little photo-shopping. The following photographs are the two actual photos from Sunday morning. The top one is putting them together to show what my eye saw when it looked up at the Wolf Moon.

How much freedom do we have?

Part of my exploration of finding a new dream for old age has been looking at questions that could be part of the search. Does a spiritual power beyond ourselves pull the strings for what happens in life? Do we have free-will or are we predestined? Ignoring the spiritual possibilities for power, are there overlords right here, not as obvious as they might have once been but still in place that limit our options?

In looking again at such questions, I watched a film that I want to recommend everyone take the time to watch. It is available online for free as a download or you can buy the DVD for $5 from the site. The film is called Zeitgeist, the Movie. It explores religious roots, 9/11, and who really calls the shots in the world-- physically speaking that is.

It's a disillusioning movie to watch in some ways although it tries to add a bit of positiveness at the end. It's not enough to prove uplifting when you look at the possibility that so many of our problems are orchestrated to gain power for someone else. I can hear some saying now-- conspiracy nut talk. Well read history and you see many conspiracies to gain power and keep it.

What protects us from those who would take our power? Not ignorance. Not entertaining ourselves with comforting ideas. The thing that could protect us is if enough of us get informed. Will we? Good question. Watch the film if you are one who is willing to think. If not, well there are plenty of things out there to reassure us until the time comes it is too late to make changes.

There are things in the film that I doubted, but also questions raised that deserve answers; so if you decide to watch it, stick with it. Don't give it up when it says a few things with which you disagree. Watch it all and then come back to discuss the issues where you think it's wrong-- or right.

You can find the Zeitgeist site by a Google search. The newest version is available here:

Zeitgeist

Watching this will take almost two hours of your time. Can you afford it? Can you afford not to take that time? If it's not true, you have invested two hours in exploring some issues that don't threaten anything; but if it is, you might become part of the change that can turn this around.

Some of what Zeitgeist talks about (economic threats) seems a lot more likely today than it did when I first saw it. Events are moving so rapidly. Part of me would like to think the movie isn't true, can't be true; part of me looks at what has been happening and thinks it makes all too much sense.

It does relate to my dream search because a dream in a world without the freedom to make dreams come true is purely a fantasy.

Focusing as part of finding Dreams

Focusing on what?
Inside or outside?
Where are dreams found?

Although I do oil painting, I also enjoy painting with the computer which is what the above work is. With my desire to find a new dream, I felt a digital self-portrait might be a possible tool. A self-portrait could be as simple as a stick figure with things around it or something more complex.

Finding a dream is about looking outside for inspiration but also inside for what resonates-- and when it does, why does it? What would be food for my soul at this point in my life? Self-portraits have a way of revealing things that we haven't planned and that's what happened this time.

I have written before about doing computer paintings and in particular self-portraits. I began doing them when I read about them from Natalie, at Blaugustine, who uses many such tools, to express herself. For me, I have considered my self-portraits to be like the sand painting Navajo or Tibetans do. They are not like fine art but rather a way to help me see things that I am missing.

To do this one, I didn't use a mirror but began by looking through my stock of photographs for one that spoke to how I felt right now. I have a stockpile of moody and what some might call unattractive webcam photographs. (I have written before about how a computer painting progresses and that can be found in Labels under painting.)

When I had finished the digital portrait, doing a lot of it by feel with no real plan for what would be the end result, I studied it for a bit. This is a woman who doesn't appear to see where she is going or even what is around her. The expression on her face is not depressed but a little cynical, disillusioned possibly. Is disillusionment what is blocking new dreams? A lack of trusting? Could she see beyond the swirls if she tried? She's not trying. I called it 'sorting out the dreams' and maybe she is beginning where she must.

I plan to do a few more of these self-portraits this winter and am thinking that as my mood changes, as things become clearer to me, perhaps the dream will emerge from the mist. I must be honest about what comes out-- succeed or not. I also don't plan to give myself a time limit on any of it. There will be no telling myself it should be this or that. Dreams have to be true. I very much believe there will be new ones. There always are.

January 10th is a full moon. A particularly auspicious time for charging the air for dreams of great power. Awhile back, I had written about an exercise where, during such a full moon, you take a piece of plain white paper and put it where the full moon can shine upon it. You are charging that paper with energy.

Then when the new moon comes, which will be January 26th (also the time of a solar eclipse which some say will make it astrologically very potent), you write your dreams and what you want to create in your life on that paper. I have done that before but to be honest not with much success. I think it's going to work better this time (but then I always think that)!

Finding a dream

Begin doing what you want to do now.

We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment
sparkling like a star in our hand-- and melting like a snowflake.
Sir Francis Bacon

One of the things on which I am currently working, is dreams-- not the nighttime ones but daytime. A lot of what I have written in here recently has been part of-- trying to think of the right word-- finding my own dream again.

For much of my life, I have been one who has wanted and had a dream out in front of me. Dreams for me tend to be on the realistic side. I don't bother dreaming about something that cannot remotely happen. I also don't bother calling it a dream when it's something I could do with a little will power. For me, dreams require something greater to have happen, more than the usual effort from me and just a touch of magic.

A dream could be a place I might live, like that cabin. It would offer a lifestyle that went with it or a relationship that might supply something my life currently doesn't have. A dream would add spice and juice to my days that currently is not happening. Often a dream is out there with no clear way to get to it.

Acquiring a dream might not be as important as dreaming it. Some dreams would have likely been disasters if I had gotten them. My own dreams have been both fleeting and those that lasted for many years.

I am thinking maybe old age is part of my problem now. I am not sure what is going to be a realistic old age dream. When you are young, you can dream of raising your family in the wilderness, like the old film, The Wilderness Family, but that time has passed (a dream for me that didn't happen and probably just as well).

Dreams don't have to ever happen and sometimes I know they won't, but it's having one out there that helps me form bigger goals, that lends some magic to my days, hope to my future. For me right now, the dream space is a big blank. Blank spaces aren't really good. They tend to get filled with something but I want nothing in the dream space except another dream.

Above my desk are a lot of quotes, almost like Buddhist prayer flags but on post-its. Many relate to dreams:

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
Thoreau

Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a winged bird that cannot fly.
Langston Hughes

It may take years to realize a dream,
but dreaming itself is an elevating experience.
Maya Angelou

Dreams are necessary to life.
Anais Nin

and on they go but are they helping? Is the music helping? Are the movies helping? I am not sure yet; but I am working on it. I don't think this is about old age. We never get too old to dream; but currently, even my nighttime dreams are taking on a mundane-- fix a dinner, make sure everyone got fed, where does everyone sleep-- quality. I find myself going through the paces daytime or nighttime.

Nobody needs to feel sorry for me as my paces are pretty good. I had time last week-end with our son, daughter-in-law, and two of our grandchildren. It popped up without planning on a spur of the moment call from them, and it was a delightful time exploring an old flour mill which led to a lot of wonderful photographs. I am looking forward later this month to a time for the whole family, all ten of us, in Sunriver when we celebrate our Christmas. So it's not like I'm living a bleak existence-- unless you find having dreams important.

I could blame this on winter doldrums, but this is often my main dream building time as I redo my intentions for the coming year. The end of December and beginning of January tend to be when I think of what I most truly would want.

So if you see a lot of posts here about dreams, about inspiring ideas, about goals, you will know why. It's just me trying out various ideas (with a couple of political posts thrown in simply because I can't say no to everything happening right now). I am looking at ways to get a new dream, one that will work into in my elder years, and using tools that have helped in the past-- only this time sharing it here in the blog.

If you have ideas that help you (assuming a dream is important in your life), please add them into the comments-- or if it's extensive enough, email it to me (rainnnn7 at hotmail dot com) and I will post it here as its own subject.

(I don't know from where that sunset came (other than that it's my photo). Maybe its anonymous quality makes it a particularly good one for this subject. It was in the days when my photos were all with the Nikon 35mm and printed; so it's scanned. It might be at the Tucson house (a dream that came true but has led to its own problems as dreams have a way of doing).

Kaycee, Wyoming 1998

In July 1998, on one of those vacations where nothing is planned ahead and sleeping in the van made anything possible, I saw the Kaycee, Wyoming area. I wanted to be there because of all the stories I had read about Butch Cassidy, Old West history, and the Big Horn Mountains.

We drove through Kaycee, got information and drove out to the area where Cassidy had his hideout. Today you could actually walk to where it was, access being arranged through the ranches, but it would have to be from the south not from where we were. At that time, there was no access, but it wasn't really just seeing the hideout itself but the feeling of the area that I wanted.

It was beautiful country with a lot of red rock which I hadn't expected. Later I read that there is a 50 mile ridge of these red rock cliffs. Beneath them are big ranches with water and what looked like good grass-- something you don't see just anywhere in the West. At that time, they appeared to be family operations but that might have changed in the intervening years as some places like those have been bought up by off-site owners or even corporations with ranch managers hired to run the daily operations (nothing new to the West).

The road into our destination, a campground high above the middle fork of the Powder River, was dirt, heavily rutted and full of puddles. We weren't surprised at its condition as we'd been in Buffalo the night before and seen the violent thunderstorm as it passed through.

In fact that brewing thunderstorm had led us to decide to take a motel room instead of camp of which we were glad as we debated the size of the big hail balls and wondered if they'd dent the top of the van sitting in the parking lot. I'd read about pioneers being hit by them as they came west with no real shelter possible. While we get hail in my part of Oregon, it's tiny pellets, which can still hurt but won't knock you out.

On the road up to the campground, we were lucky we had all-wheel drive on the van and that Farm Boss was familiar with driving in such conditions as it was questionable making it up the hill. It looked like not everyone had. This is not the kind of country where you want to get stuck. Those were the days before cell phones which might not work out there even today.

Because of the storms, we decided camping up there wasn't going to be smart. We might have had to spend more than a few days before we could get back out. I did cut some sage from one of the nearby canyons for my smudges, got some photos, but we didn't linger.

Butch Cassidy was thought highly of in this area. He treated the locals well (some made extra money riding with him on a job or acting as a lookout). His word was good. Some say that for all his robberies, he never killed anybody.

Cassidy didn't appear to have been a psychopath like Jesse James likely was but was a wild one who took a path that possibly he couldn't get off. The stories are still told that he wasn't killed in South America, that those who knew him saw him later in Utah and other places, but he had gotten his chance off the outlaw trail and lived his life out as an honest man. I think people would like to believe it-- likely or not.

In Cassidy's case, one little story, that I have heard enough to believe was true, gives a picture of who he was as a man. He had sold the ranch the Wild Bunch used but didn't give the buyer a piece of paper as a deed. It was a handshake sale. Cassidy said he'd send the deed later. A year later an Indian showed up with the deed and would only give it to the correct man. The people of the area said they accepted the Indian as a friend because if Butch had trusted him, he must be all right. The Indian stayed in the area for some time.

Heck, I would too. I would love to have a small place in that country, but it's not small place country. This is big ranch land and the kind of place, with its rugged mountains, red rock formations, and roaring rivers, that most of us can only enjoy in stories or as we pass through. To be honest, I'd rather it stay that way than to see it carved up into little ranchettes and vacation homes. The land remains though and the buildings that don't work out soon are absorbed back into it.

Western Skies

Friday's music was of an epic love which may or may not end happily. Sunday's was about an epic task, one that takes all a person has but that they will finish come hell or high water.

Today's is a song more about real life inspired by the land and people where I live and love. Take me out of the west (although strictly speaking it's probably from the Plains to the Cascades, I define it as reaching to the Pacific Ocean) and I'd wither. I know my roots, where I was born and where my ashes should be spread and it can be anywhere under--

Western Skies

If you write a blog, you know how they have a way of taking over, just as writing fiction will do. What was planned is not always what happens. Such is the case here when I thought of this song, then of the man who sang it, the land where he lived, and suddenly the blog expanded.

Not everyone is a fan of western music, but I am among those who are. Chris LeDoux, who died way too early in March 2005 of a rare form of liver cancer, was the real deal in terms of his character, singing and cowboy lifestyle . He had ridden rodeo in his younger years. He and the love of his life raised their family on a ranch in the same country where Butch Cassidy had one of his hideouts-- Kaycee, Wyoming.

In 1998, before I had heard of LeDoux but was very interested in seeing more of the country through which Butch Cassidy rode, I made a brief trip through the Powder River country getting as close as I could to the Hole in the Wall. In the town of Kaycee was this wonderful little museum full of western information and memorabilia. This area, Johnson County, was also a region of struggles between big cattlemen and homesteaders.

Because of the reminder of Kaycee, I dug into my drawer of photos and scanned a few from that trip (back in the days before digital made this all so much easier) and will share them tomorrow as there are few parts of the west as beautiful as Kaycee and none prettier in my opinion.

Red River

"There's three times in a man's life when he has a right to yell at the moon: when he marries, when his children come, and... and when he finishes a job he had to be crazy to start."
said by Mr. Melville (Harry Carey) in the film Red River.

As there are with the friendships we have made, the things we have done, there are those films that pass right on through after one viewing (if we're lucky); while others stay inside for a lifetime. Red River, starring John Wayne and Montgomery Clift, is in the latter category for me. It has a soundtrack that to me is the gold standard of movie soundtracks. While I generally feel most western soundtracks are great, it's at the top of any list.

When I went looking for a video for Red River, I found this YouTube. Only rarely do I read the comments below but this time I was rewarded when I learned Amazon now has the full soundtrack available. I skipped over as fast as my keyboard would take me and ordered Dimitri Tiomkin composer, William T. Stromberg conductor and Moscow Symphony Orchestra for the full soundtrack of the 1948 film, Red River.

Acquiring this particular soundtrack is a big deal for me. I have a lot of them. Mostly whenever I choose to use music to paint or write by, it's a soundtrack. I like them for how their soaring melodies play certain emotional strings, and (the ones I choose) for how they have no words to get in the way of my own ideas.

For years I have enjoyed the shortened version of Red River's soundtrack for bringing to life feelings of grandeur, of someone taking on a job that they know they can't succeed at but they stick with it anyway, for feelings of strength, and now I have the whole soundtrack to provide that inspiration. If you have seen the film, you know its soundtrack is like another character.

Maybe this year I will learn to do music montages such as are on YouTube; so I can create my own. I bought the software but haven't taken the time to learn how to use it. For now, someone else's creativity will have to do.

Red River

Some flooding in the valley

After heavy rains about half of Thursday night, the rivers, in my part of the Coast Range and Willamette Valley, reached their peak flood stage Friday afternoon (for now), and it wasn't too bad. Definitely out of the banks but no damage to homes at least not ones that aren't flooded every time the sky sniffles.

The Portland Hydrologic Prediction Service (something I didn't even know existed until Fisherman (Parapluie's mate) sent it to me) said these rivers will not go over the 30' stage which is where we would potentially be talking about serious flooding.
Although it went over a few roads, it quickly retreated and tonight will be cold, drying it up further. When we drove out to the wildlife refuge, we saw very few birds, but on the way they seemed to be in almost all the (relatively) dry grass fields-- something that doesn't endear them to the farmers. No photos though as too far from the road.

These photos are all from Friday. You would have no way of knowing but all except the ones of the creek below, are in what normally would be pastures and grasslands-- definitely not lakes. Our creek has done a lot of damage to the trees along its banks, eroded a few places, but generally stayed in its banks.

Unchained Melody

In my part of the Pacific Northwest, because of very heavy rains, there has been water water everywhere. (I guess you could drink it but I wouldn't suggest it.) Because I live on a creek, flooding is always a possibility when the conditions have been right. They predict, downstream from the farm, that local flood crest will come in the afternoon.

Currently the creek below my house sounds like a river and is just barely outside its banks. The closest it has ever gotten to the house has been to the edge of the driveway (the year of the sandbags), but it seems unlikely it'll come that close this week. Still definitely not the pretty season on the creek as the muddy water rushes past.

This is the season of long nights, of lots of hay for the cattle and sheep, of carrying in firewood to feed fires, of cats staring outside in disappointment or looking in the french door with their noses pressed against the glass-- like why did you let me out?

For me, this has always been the season for evaluating last year, fixing what I can fix, and devising plans to change what isn't working. It is a season where I look for inspiration many places and among them would be movies (more about them in the future) and music. Because I have the blog, it seemed a good time to look for videos to fit some of those songs that speak to my soul. YouTube is such a wonderful resource for creatively using music.

To begin, here is one for all those who have loved and had it work out and just as true for when it did not--

Unchained Melody with the Righteous Brothers

Happy New Year

So what do you think? are there enough things to worry about in 2009? No? Okay, let's add a few to the list. How about--

Yellowstone Quake Swarm. This is one they give us every so often as Yellowstone is a super volcano which if it should erupt, would rearrange the climate of the world.

In terms of worrying, Most experts don't feel it's worthy of breaking out into a sweat given this happens regularly. The eruption, however, happens every 600,000 years. How long since the last?

Thinking about it possibly happening, however, might help to put current worries into perspective (incidentally, it would probably end any problem that whoever was left might have with global warming).
So, how about Igor Panarin, a Russian analyst, who has been predicting the United States will fall into civil war over our current economic crises leading to a break up of the country. He saw it dividing into four countries with China taking one, Europe taking another, Mexico getting a third (where will they go for jobs), and Canada taking what is left over. Would this come under the category of good news or bad? Russian wish list?


So if that didn't cheer you up yet, well--

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
May 2009 be good to you and yours.

The Me and We Conflict

When I reach the last days of a year, for me, it has significance. It's not meaningful seasonally as that is about Solstices and equinoxes. It's just an artificial calendar devised by man; but we can use a time (arbitrary or otherwise) to stop and take stock. It is the time I often revise my goals for the year to come. I don't call them goals so much as intentions. Who do I want to be? What do I want to do? What actions will help me be the woman I want?

This year, I've been thinking of something else: how do these goals apply to me and we? It can be a basic, political and philosophical difference that goes beyond families or cultures to religions where some believe we each face god's judgment alone while others believe we are reincarnated as soul fragments and how we treat our brother might end up part of a next lifetime in a lot more real way than a reincarnation of the whole soul. Culture or individual?

In our two main political parties, there is also a different way of seeing me and we. How many times have we heard Republicans say you can manage your money better than the collective we through government. How effectively, you will build bridges, airports, highways, schools, railroads, power grids, has been shown through the last eight years when none of that was done and we are facing a deteriorating system.

Right wingers like Rush Limbaugh have pushed an agenda of me as a way to build their own power bases. They say-- as I make me strong, everyone else will be too. If this doesn't work out to be true, it's the other guy's fault for weakening individuals. To those who think this way, only through individuals does power come.

The opposing party's claims can be just as misused when it becomes somebody else can do it for me and I don't have to do anything but wait. We then means somebody else. Where we working together is strong, me either only thinking about me or waiting for someone else to fix something, is damaging.

So I cannot ignore my personal goals, but also must think what 'we' goals are important to support. Theoretically I might convince myself I don't have to do any of that because someone else will. I could take care of my own little community, my own family, my own impact zone, the areas where I receive praise for what I do; but is that enough? It seems to me we have seen how well that works when we are uninvolved on the larger scale. Can each little community stand alone or must each concern itself also with the broader community?

Okay an example of how I see this applied is in the recent imbroglio of Obama choosing Rick Warren to give the invocation at the inauguration. This isn't going away any time soon and how important is it to me? Where does it impact we?

To start, Warren has some good qualities. He has put 90% of his income back into good works, and it's not just evangelizing but actually working on things like poverty and disease. He even gets it that there are global climate questions, and that the environment is a spiritual responsibility.

Christopher Hitchens expressed his reservations at the invitation based on the fundamentalist angle, which Warren pretty clearly is. Warren has stated Jews won't get into heaven. Most christianists would also say that admittance is only through accepting Jesus which lets out anybody but themselves. That's no surprise nor is it news.

Warren's worst quality to those who supported Obama is a biggie, and it's the reason for the brouhaha. He has the christianist view of homosexuality. He has taken some parts of the Bible, as many others have along with him, and equated it with meaning all homosexuality is forbidden, sinful and must be fought against by penalties that, if no longer criminal, are still punishment oriented.

Warren and people like him are as bigoted about the homosexual as at one time similar types were about racial differences. They all ignore nature and use the Bible like a hammer based on their own interpretation of its verses. Warren has gone so far as to compare gays with those having sex with beasts or children (he has recently taken that text out of his site but it was there). It's not surprising that homosexuals are feeling as though Obama just slapped them in the face.

It would be possible to be neutral on this if it doesn't impact me individually. I mean I am not a gay; so should I care? Why I do and should is the we that impacts us all. It is why those, who see it differently than I do, also care. I wrote quite a bit on this earlier, during the campaign, because I have looked at these scriptures that christianists are using and I see there is another way to interpret them-- a way that to me makes more sense.

[This is for those who use the Bible as gospel and can be skipped by anyone who doesn't believe they must do something based on a preacher's interpretation of it. I am going to skip over the Old Testament. If you are living your life based on it, you aren't reading my blog anyway.

Instead take a quick look at Romans 1:22-32 (you can find it online if you do not have a home Bible). If you look at it without prejudice and without an assumption as to what it has to mean, you will see that what Romans is talking about are people doing a lot of very bad things-- greed, malice, murder, strife, deceit, and the list goes on. This isn't about same sex people who are living a quality life together as couples. This is about rank promiscuity and the opposite of what gays are fighting to attain.

I believe there will come a day when that scripture will be re-evaluated by even people like Rick Warren. It already has by many ministers to see that what most homosexuals want is the very opposite of what this scripture is talking about.

This penalizing 'we' are trying to deny people ordinary lives, the respect and legal rights of society at large. And why has this happened? Because little 'me' has the idea that it either threatens him/her or makes them more righteous somehow.

What has gone on where it comes to homosexuals is crazy. If you know homosexual couples, you know how crazy it is. I believe it will be seen as as crazy someday as it now is to deny blacks and whites intermarriage based on misinterpretations of other scriptures. In my opinion, the christianist interpretation of the scriptures is ignorant and wrong.]

Before Obama's debate with him, about all I knew about Rick Warren was he'd written a best-selling book, The Purpose-Filled Life, which I didn't like when I scanned over a bit of it.

President-Elect Obama is a young man who has looked for meaning in his life and found it through Christianity. He has not appeared to me to be a christianist but that is yet to be seen for sure. He has sought out various spiritual mentors. Rev. Wright, was another who preached alienation in some ways but also had a message of good works. Obama's talking about his Christian faith has never been a plus where I am concerned. I understand that his belief is bound to impact some choices-- like the Warren one-- or maybe he knows something about Warren that the rest of us will learn.

After I wrote most of this, I saw a column by Frank Rich in Sunday's New York Times criticizing Obama for the choice; and one by Melissa Etheridge saying the choice is now ours and let's see where this goes with a totally different slant.

This applies to we/me thinking because we are impacted by unfairness to anyone. Denying homosexuals the right to adopt children, as Arkansas just did, or to have legal marriages or unions as we recently saw with Florida and California but many states like Oregon earlier, to me, that's been flat out wrong. Unfairness hurts all of us.

Obama may have made a mistake in inviting Warren or maybe his invitation will lead to Warren looking again at those scriptures; but it will be what Obama does next that matters most. He now has the power to work to right some big wrongs. It will be the good for all of us if he does. If he doesn't, then I think we all have to stand with our gay brothers and sisters against this unfairness and make it politically untenable to treat one group of people as inferiors. If it has profited some to take on a christianist view of marriage, then we need to see it stops profiting them.

That was just one example of how me/we works. I am not leaving behind my 'me' concerns as I make goals for 2009 that reflect things taking me closer to being who I want to be; but I also am not going to forget the we issues that matter to our culture as a whole, that will impact the world in which my grandchildren grow up. The election is over, but the real work has just begun. Concerns can't just be about what benefits me but what is good for us. When we think that way, that's when we will see real change and it will benefit me/we as it happens.