Doing one of my own readings

Because of writing about the new Tarot deck, Journey through the Gaian Heart, I thought I'd share an example of the first reading I did for myself using this deck. It might give someone an idea of how Tarot can be used.

My most common reading is to look at a situation and ask for help in understanding the past of it, the present, and the future. I do not ask for future predictions but rather insights to where something came from, where it is and where it's going if things stay as they are.

The reading is intended to draw out what I might already know but need encouragement to believe. They are to help me get under the layers I often put up between me and my inner voice; and believe in a god or not, we all hear that inner voice. It is in our thoughts which can sometimes be filled with so much that it's hard for us to focus. The cards help us do that-- focus. I do not believe in cards for fortunetelling and although I have had readers give me such readings, I can't say any came true.

In this case, I asked about an event that had come into my life some years ago, which still impacts me, and about which I have wondered what it meant to my life. I asked what was the past of why it happened; what is the present for what it is bringing to me today; and finally what could be the end result of having gone through it? I do not need to share what the event was as it's not the point.

So to do this type of reading, I set my mind on my purpose, try to still my thinking, ask for results that would be true and helpful for my wisdom and insights, shuffle, cut, and finally lay out three cards. I lay them face down so that I can study them for a moment to see if all three seem to go together. Say one didn't seem right, I'd put it aside, draw another for that place but keep that extra card to read later and see whether it was an added insight or simply out of place. This whole thing is very intuitive which means if you don't trust your inner self,  if you are going to argue for some kind of factual measurement, you won't like doing cards.

I should mention here that the creator of this deck has renamed the suits as well as the court cards. Children = Pages; Explorers = Knights; Guardians = Queens; and Elders = Kings . She likewise uses Fire = Wands; Air = Swords; Earth = Pentacles; and Water = Cups. They still represent the same court cards but using imagery that she explains means more to her in doing readings. You know the first tarot cards were playing cards and the use of them goes way way back in man's history. It does require a bit of rethinking for someone used to the way it has been with Rider-Waite; but the book helps with that and I liked the renaming for giving meaning. The book helps with this also.

The first card I turned over was to represent the past at the time this came into my life, representing where I was and possibly the purpose for which it came:

"The Guardian of Fire is someone who quietly knows his own worth. He doesn't have to be the center of attention in order to feel good about himself, although he is sometimes quite naturally in the spotlight. This is someone who attracts others because of a warm heart and natural radiance. Remember when the flame of creativity is shared, all benefit, and no single fire is diminished. Passions shared and combined can create a bonfire big enough to light up the entire sky." *

The Guardian set me back in a way that it would not have had it been the Queen-- although to be honest in all the times I did Tarot, the Queen of Wands never showed up in a reading for me (yes, when you do readings some cards tend to show up a lot and others you might only see if you are doing a reading for someone else).

I think, with a new deck, a person has to put aside any different definitions from the earlier decks to work with a new one-- accepting its meanings as the ones to use. These decks are mostly recreations of a concept that is old but that can be updated for different cultures and generations. Aritsts are free to look at the meaning of a card and interpret it as it suits them.

To me guardians are nurturers and in this case the illustration on the deck appears as though possibly it was an outside force who was stoking that fire, in short encouraging something but for what reason?

When this event came into my life, I did believe it was influenced by an outside force. Is that all that the card was telling me now-- what I thought then? Or is the card saying I was right all along and there was a spiritual force behind what happened and that it had a reason for coming unrelated that was not clear at the time?  That is the question the card stirs in me as a person who believes in such possibilities. Someone who didn't believe in those possibilities, that of someone else tweaking our lives or even that there is someone else, would not have such a deck to wonder about.


Okay, so now what about the present card, what has this event brought to my life today? How am I using it?

Three of Fire: "When you get this card, you are on fire with the joy of creativity, sexuality, and self-empowerment. Nothing will hold you back from expressing yourself with great abandonment and rowdiness. This is no time to hide your light under a bushel. Be proud of who you are and what you've accomplished. It's an exciting time for you! Who knows where your passion, creativity, and magic will take you next?" *

Now that one I can say does fit me very well today. If I picked a card out of the deck to say something about who I am today, it could have easily been that one. (well except for this irritating December cold anyway). To me this card is saying that event, not without pain, was part of helping me become the woman I am today, that it was giving me an energy I needed for my creative work. I guess you could say everything does; but that card really hits the mark for how I feel about myself in terms of creativity and really life right now.

Do we welcome such painful events-- those that never really leave us? Not hardly but we can choose to use them or not. We can let them weaken or strengthen us. (And no I don't believe that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger as many things can weaken us but, short of debilitating events, we can use whatever has come to us as best we can. One option is taken away and another opens up or we can sit and stew over what was taken. It is a choice.) This card is indicating I am using it at least for today. I believe that is so.  Both of those cards were fire cards.

So the unknown factor in this reading will be how accurate the future card will be as in where this event will put me someday. I obviously cannot answer this question yet.

Nine of Earth: "You're enjoying a time of accomplishment and comfort. You're at the peak of your creative powers, and well-paid for your work. You are connected to your family and community, yet have time alone for creative and spiritual pursuits. It is a time of peace and plenty in your life both internal and external."*

Whether that will prove to be the case, it is a hope I do have for it. I can't say more than that as who can know. If I look back on this in say five or ten years, I might be able to say more about how accurate this card was. For now, it is encouragement that I am going the right direction.

As I saw it, all three cards answered the question that the event was about  encouraging my creativity, feeding it and finally (hopefully) rewarding it. I can't put into words what I feel inside that it was saying to me. I can see it though like stairsteps along the way. The fire is bringing me finally a return to the earth which is the groundedness I always believe I want. Those three cards represent creativity, production and result.

Was the purpose the cards indicated what I had wanted that event to be about? Not a chance. Back then, I had a different goal in mind; but maybe in ten years I will see that otherwise also.  It does totally fit my life though for the past and present. We'll see about the future.

*From Journey through the Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert