Saturday, February 13, 2010
One true love... or not
One of the greatest mysteries in life to me is love between a man and a woman or a man and a man or a woman and a woman. There is no logical explaining of sexual love as it's not just about sex even though sexuality is clearly a part of it. Writers have tried but in the end it defies words or logic. This particular article inspired me to think about it once again.
If you read the story, you see a woman who could have had anything in terms of men but the one man she could not have apparently was the one whom she could not emotionally release. She could not go on. How do you explain that?
What makes it possible for some to go from love relationship to love relationship (think Coco Chanel) and others cling to one that is lost to them forever (think Elizabeth Custer) or wait for that one perfect love that never comes?
For that matter, what makes people want that 'soul mate' love at all? Does everyone? I came across this review of a book which is being discussed by other writers:
Will it? The argument is made by author Lori Gottleib that women should settle rather than hold out for mr. perfect. They should opt for mr. good enough which some women agree is the right approach-- Just Marry Him.
My question is more (and it's not the first time I have asked it): What makes us want this at all? Is it that we are not tribal? Would being tribal change anything? Is there something written in the DNA of humans to make them desire the perfect love, the mated relationship that lasts a lifetime or is it taught? It is not about sex. That's lust and more temporary in its nature.
It's also not new. You know that from reading Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Elizabeth Gaskell type romances from the 1800s or even Shakespeare from further back. In women's case, as soon as they had the ability to choose for themselves, they apparently wanted this dream relationship which a few got and many spend a lifetime lamenting. Do men want the same thing? We do all seem to desire that two hands coming together with a perfect fit kind of mated relationship that lasts forever.