clouds and dreams

It has been a quiet week. There must be something going on-- except I am not sure there is. The weather here has been nice. As I write, out the window it's blue skies, lots of green, the last blossoms of the columbine, which means soon the cats can go into that yard. They have been exiled because of the hummingbirds which for some reason tempt them to hunt more than any other bird.

We were told the next valley over had a marauding cougar which killed two lambs right in the barnyard. The state hunter came out and tracked it down with dogs-- the way cougars always were hunted in Oregon until the law was changed due to a ballot measure-- once again city made choices for country. The result of basically no hunting (you try hunting a cougar without dogs) has led to a lot more cougar, a lot less deer with the possibility of the cougars going after livestock like ours. So far they have not, but we are keeping a wary eye out.

Those who know say that hay will be hard to find this year which is bad news for us as it's essential for us to get through a winter with cattle and sheep. The reason for its short supply isn't our area but California's demand to import hay from other places because with their drought, their normal fields aren't producing. Basically the climate change, whatever its cause, will impact more than those living in the regions hardest hit.

For some reason our little valley has had less rain than many surrounding areas. It seems the rain has been diverted around us. It's not been bad or anything yet. The creek is still running full, but it likely means we will have to irrigate sooner than usual. It's hard to complain when the days are so beautiful, but it does always make me wonder about the future. What changes are yet to come?

May 18th, I took a fall and if you are interested in more about that, I wrote about it in [Rain Trueax]. The only thing I want to say about it here is-- watch out for things that could trip you in your house! I thought I had been aware but not so much.

Recently has been a week for peculiar dreams. Not sure what that's about. Some of them probably speak to some insecurity I am not usually aware of. For instance one dream was about being in a restaurant where my daughter was the waitress. We got there early. We then sat, waited and nothing happened while other customers came in and she served them. Finally she came to our table, looked me directly in the eye and said-- I will not serve you food you cannot afford to pay for. I looked back at her with amazement. Why would you say that-- I have $300 in my wallet and a Visa that is good? Dream ended before I got an answer from her. 

The dream though didn't relate to my daughter at all. She and I have a fine relationship. She knows I don't go out on a limb for things I cannot afford. People are usually just vehicles in my dreams which means they are less significant than how they make me feel and the deeper possible reason in my life.

So I figured it related to other areas. I tried to think where might anybody think I haven't paid my dues or couldn't afford what I was doing. It could be out of my insecurity where it comes to my books and how I think others perceive me there. Some could feel I haven't paid my dues by going through a publisher or by not joining a writing clubs. That does not mean others feel that way because the dream was likely in one way or another something about my own insecurity.

Another night, the dream caused me to wake upset-- this time for something I had done wrong. For no sensible reason, I had shot my rifle across a wide valley into a distant mountain where I had no idea people might be and where the bullet could have dropped shy of the mountain and hit someone in the valley below. Totally foolish behavior, something I'd never do, but I woke feeling stressed. No gun owner with any sense would do such a stupid thing. But in my dream, I did. Reckless behavior without thought. Maybe it came from the fall as it did come after it.

There were more, but the last of the offbeat dreams came with a movie type dream. In these I watch but am never part of the story. The main character was a horrible woman, brutal and abusive who played a role for people pretending she was nice. I woke from it knowing its plot would probably make a good suspense novel, but there is no way that I would consider writing it. I wasn't even willing to relay the whole story here-- let alone spend months writing about the woman, having to live with her. No thanks for something that negative and brutal. I'll leave that kind of writing to tougher souls than mine. I need positive vibes in my writing and life.

So it's been beautiful weather, lots of flowers, birds, fun with the cats, recuperating from the fall, vegetable garden going gangbusters, and for me-- editing, editing, editing with gathering more images. 

More about the books, for those interested in my process, and sometimes guests who are also creative, in Rain Trueax.


One thing about skies with clouds-- they are ever changing and always entertaining if you take time to lie back and watch the subtle changes. All cloud photos are on our place, one May afternoon, and taken by Farm Boss.