Winter Solstice

When our kids grew up and left home, then had their own homes or other families, when our parents died, how Christmas was celebrated began to change. There had been many years of big traditional dinners, sometimes twenty or more and often including nearby friends. I loved cooking those meals, setting up the tables, table cloths, china, sometimes silver and creating an experience that all would enjoy. I didn't give it up by choice, but times change.

This year, around Thanksgiving, I realized, because of those changes, I didn't have any enthusiasm for decorating. Incidentally from the day I got married, I have realized that the type of Christmas decorations has been more about my desires than Farm Boss's. He appreciates what I do and helps put things out, but it's been my inspiration because it never was really his thing.

The first Christmas we were married, my parents gave us some small Nativity figures which became part of every Christmas. There were assorted Christmas ornaments that came from both our families. Somewhere along the way, an Advent wreathe entered the scene (one Christmas morning, a candle on it tipped over and put an interesting burned mark in the front of one of the hutches-- fortunately seen before more damage was done).

Through the years, I accumulated a set of Christmas village houses and businesses, then came a Santa village with reindeer and elves. That meant putting out cotton snow and setting up the villages, turning them on every night to create a small fantasy world. Decorating for Christmas was an all-out effort and parts of it were throughout the house.

We had stopped doing any tree some years back, but the rest continued until this year. My lack of interest wasn't for a religious reason. I have no problem saying Merry Christmas to all. The decorating though wasn't something I wanted to do.

In the past Farm Boss or I would go out around the farm and cut armloads of greenery. I'd put out the first ones around Thanksgiving and would have to redo the whole thing at least once and sometimes twice to keep it from becoming flammable. Worse they often seemed to irritate both Farm Boss's and my allergies.

I had known there were artificial trees and swags but how real did that seem? Each year though they were getting better and that led to my desire for an artificial garland for the fireplace mantle which is never a good place for real greens with frequent fires below. I'd just do that one thing... except was so pleasing that it led to purchasing another... and well I won't say how many but they were half off :)

When I began putting them around, with a few small angels, who had missed being put into the Christmas box last year, using the Buddha, the Kachinas, some small natural elements like birds, I saw something happening I had not planned. This was not Christmas oriented but rather Solstice and that felt really good.

It was using natural materials (okay they look natural) with lots of white candles, a couple of spirit guides, symbols of spiritual influences on this home, pine cones collected over many years, and it felt right to be welcoming, as have so many pagans before me, the shortest day of the year, today, with the joy of knowing from this day onward, the days will be lengthening if ever so slightly.

Christ might not have been born in December, we might wonder how we ended up with such an out of control holiday at a time of the year when we have so little energy and so many colds, but Solstice, now that is something nobody can debate when it should be celebrated (if they might argue over whether it should be).

This has felt liberating because it was fully letting go of past expectations and finding what suited today. When I am working around the house, I think, yes, this is good. Next year the Christmas villages and all the rest might come back but only if that feels good.