What are values?

Because comments in an earlier blog went into a direction I had not expected (some of the best comment series do this), it stirred me to thinking about the subject of personal values-- something we obviously do not all see the same way. I had written about my core beliefs over a year ago; but those weren't really what I consider to be values, and I do have a set of core values under which I operate.

What I consider to be my values, the things that determine how I treat others, don't seem to me to come from one political party or any one religion. My friends and I might vary a little about what we think is okay morally, come from different political parties and religions; but in general, our values are similar or we probably would not have stayed friends. Common values build stronger relationships-- in my opinion.

So from where do values come? I think primarily it is from our families. When Farm Boss and I met, when we decided to join our lives together, we knew we had families with very similar values. When our children found their mates, the same thing was true. Interestingly enough the political and religious viewpoints sometimes were very different; but values such as not stealing, not cheating, working for what you get, helping others when you can, money is good but not if you do something unethical to get it, your reputation is very important, etc., those are the same.

When I looked at Dictionary.com for a definition of values, it was down the line before I found the kind I am writing about:

10. values, Sociology. the ideals, customs, institutions, etc., of a society toward which the people of the group have an affective regard. These values may be positive as cleanliness, freedom, or education, or negative, as cruelty, crime or blasphemy.
11. Ethics. Any object or quality desirable as a means or an end in itself.

It is one of the problems our country has been facing. Do we as a nation really have similar core values? Both parties would lay claim to being the only ones with 'good' values-- and people of the opposing parties shake their heads as the very idea. Religions claim the same thing.

When I was a girl, my schools didn't teach values as a class. Parents taught them at home. In the schools, values were taught through example, expectation within the schoolroom, and subjects like literature or history among others. Now where some parents might be too busy to teach their children values (or are uncertain of their own), where children may be getting them for a movie or TV program, where their peer group might have more impact than their families, there are arguments over what schools should be teaching.

Some would have partisan issues taught under 'values' while others would go back to the basics-- what some call the golden rule such as do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Oops that's religion, isn't it? Or is it?

It's not hard to see the reason people are so concerned that future generations will have a set of values helpful to keeping society orderly and effective. Without them, life is filled with distrust.

Hardball on MSNBC noted a new poll where it was asked was it okay to cheat on taxes. Only 9% said yes. But then what would they call cheating? And how many do it knowing it's not okay?

Tom Daschle, who many (in both parties) have said was an honest man (for DC anyway), lost a position he really wanted because he didn't declare a car and driver as a part of his salary. Some go to jail for that kind of 'error.' So much of what traps people into doing what Daschle did is a sliding scale of dishonesty. Do one dishonest thing, maybe a little one, and the next is easier until you end up where you never thought you'd be. Solid core values, which you live by, are what stop that from happening.

I have often said that you can't call yourself an honest person because you don't rob a bank. It's what you do when the checker undercharges you that defines you as honest-- or not.

[Although it might not seem easy to see how, the photos in this blog represent one of my values.

Every time I am at this Newport memorial site, as I was last week-end, I stop and think of those names, the ones who went to Vietnam and didn't return; then think of the ones who know those names as sons, fathers, brothers, or lovers. I ask how could I photograph this stone in a way that represents both sides of a war?

One time a woman was sitting near the rock and reading. She was the right age to have known one of those names. It might have created the photograph I wanted, but I couldn't photograph her as it'd have been invasive. This time I thought, with the sun positioned right, what about laying the shadow of a woman across the names. She is now old, while they never will be. The shadow represented us all.

The other photos are of a sculpture created to remind us about the whales and the respect we should show them, their importance in our lives-- Whale Medicine.

These two are at opposite ends of a short beach side memorial and might seem to be unrelated except they are both about respect of life and that is one of my core values.

Some would say, because I raise livestock, support the death penalty for certain crimes, favor choice in early pregnancies, support Oregon's death with dignity, own a gun I would use in self-defense, believe sometimes wars are needed but they should be a last resort, shoot at a coyote going after the sheep, take a spider outside rather than step on it, that I am inconsistent. I say these are all true 'for me' and come because I do respect life.

To read the words on the stones, click on the images to enlarge.]