There is an old saying-- sow your wild oats when you are young. The implication is if you do it then, you will get it out of your system preparing you to then settle into a sedate, productive adult life. It is part of why our culture has been more forgiving of youthful transgressions but less so as people get older.
Generally, I think wild oats are thought to be things like partying, getting drunk, maybe loose sex, and general irresponsible behavior. If you want to party your heart out, do it young (when you have lousy judgment) and then as you age, you will be happier. That's the theory anyway. Since I never tried it out, I can't say for sure whether it works.
I have no regrets that I didn't sow those kind of wild oats as a young woman. I didn't desire it then and still don't. That could change at say 80 but hasn't at 63. There is, however, a wildness I do have regrets about not having more of-- wild- erness.
Although I have camped a lot, live where most would consider it to be on the edge of the wild, I have always wanted to experience more of that. When my children were little, a series of films came out about a family going into the wilderness and making a home for themselves. That was my fantasy back then. Not my children's fantasies, of course, although they can see more value in it now that they have little ones of their own.
I still have a lot of books on how to make a life in the wilderness, wilderness skills, homesteading, and building your own house. I experimented with some of it with things like having milk goats-- didn't work so well given nobody in the family was willing to drink the milk. Once I helped build a chicken house and that was rewarding, had a flock of chickens until my parents' dogs killed most of them on a rampage. (Their dogs were cock-a-poos, but it doesn't take much to kill a chicken)
Where it comes to even backpacking into the wilderness for camping trips, there are a lot of things that can go wrong; and these days, I am more prone to sample wilderness through my reading material (review of one such book will be next blog). I have a feeling it's probably something to experience next lifetime (if there is a next) as by my age living in the wilderness is less and less feasible-- although you never know.
I realize my idea of the wild is a fantasy that ignores a lot of reality, but it's still lingering there in the back of my mind along with the ending of The Virginian by Owen Wister where the hero takes his new bride on (to me) the most romantic honeymoon possible-- horse packing into the wilderness. Probably an experience best lived in imagination and through the pages of books.
(Photograph Bear Creek Falls, Hamilton, Montana.)
6 comments:
You are not the only person or woman for that matter that has these thoughts and feelings. I don't know how many people I've talked to about this very topic. Some of them, when you point out the extra hardships, think about it more and decide no, but many would love to live this lifestyle or would have until they could not do so any longer (meaning their health wasn't good enough). We do alot of camping, wilderness camping, right out with all of the animals (scary at first but you get used to it). You have to haul your water, definitely get wood for fires, and if you run out of food (not likely the way I pack it *g*) but, if you do and your partner or you have a hunting license and of course there is anything in season, you go hunting. I like my creature comforts, soft cozy bed, tv, computer, a REAL washroom etc. but once I'm out in the middle of nowhere, I find I can lose myself in an era that is, for the most part gone. And the level of stress is gone with it while I'm out there. I love it and probably always will. We do bring some comforts with us, tent, bedding, cameras, etc. You have me looking forward to the warmer months :)
As for sowing the wild oats, I never really did that either. I was always too serious, too studious, too responsible. Seeing the wild times the younguns have these days, there is a little part of me that regrets not doing those wild and dangerous things.
And as for becoming one with the wilderness, I did do that in my younger days. Now, I am quite content to read about it or see others do it. Getting older and softer has its ups and downs, all of which prefer safety and comfort. My Mom used to joke that her favorite campground was the Holiday Inn.
Your idea of "wild oats" is very similar to mine. I never had that desire as a young person. It always seemed rather silly.
Now if I could go back, there are many choices I would make differently. Many.
Choosing to "sow wild oats" in the traditional sense of it is not one of them.
Peace,
~chani
I definitely didn't sow wild oats young, but I did when my 27 year marriage broke up in 1984. If you can call what I did sowing--a lot of partying, dancing, dating and being serially monogamous. The marriage ended because my ex was having his mid-life, sportscar, younger women wild oats sowing.
We camped a lot when the kids were growing up and I love being in the wilderness--but at my age, I enjoy my creature comforts, I'll admit. I'll leave the simpler life and roughing it to those who really enjoy it. I'm a simple person by nature, so when I travel, I do like inexpensive, unusual digs. I can't think of anything less desirable than to stay in fancy hotels and eat pricy food.
Your line, 'fantasy ignores alot of the reality' - is great. And apt. I'll leave that whole wilderness thing to those who want it!. I didn't mind some of that when I was young, and I live in the country and love that...but wouldn't give up my electric blanket, or air-conditioning! :-)
The expression "sowing wild ots" actually means something different from how it is normally taken. Wild oats are a nuisance weed that is very hard to iradicate from arable fields. No one with any sense would actually "sow wild oats" The expression therefore correctly has a connotation of storing up trouble for the future.
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