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Monday, March 26, 2007

Rose-colored Glasses

Do you look for the good things in wherever you find yourself or dwell on the downside? Can you meld together the positive and the negative and live with both or prefer to gloss over the ugly side of life?

I think some of the ones who have complained about John and Elizabeth Edwards deciding to continue with his campaign for the presidency, after revealing his wife has incurable cancer, are ones who would rather not be reminded that life comes with pluses and minuses. Some believe we create all our own minuses and could live with only pluses, but I am not one of those. I believe the rain falls on the just and unjust and good things come into the lives of bad people and bad things into the lives of good people. We cannot judge someone by whether they have good health and many material blessings nor if they are loaded with tragedies and poor as church mice (whatever that saying is supposed to mean). Life is a mix. Some of it is a crap shoot determined by luck and genetic inheritances with which we had nothing to do. A lot of the quality of our life is shown by how we react when the dark wind blows.

On the drive down, I photographed the beauty but there were mixes of things that I saw, and I have always liked to photograph the other side as well-- the losses and the victories. Sometimes ugliness and beauty are side by side. So before I go onto one of my favorite places in Tucson, which is all natural beauty, I thought I'd share some of the 'other' side of the drive down-- this time from just outside of Earp, California to Casa Grande, Arizona.

Oh and on the Edwards. I think they made the right choice because it was what they wanted to do; and if they had dropped out, it'd have also been the right choice. I see how though, where she has an incurable disease that will kill her, she can either live her life fully for as long as she physically can, or she can wait to die. Her decision was not just for her but also an important life lesson for her children.

We can't control all of what life brings us, but we can control what we make of it-- after we get through crying. Lemons into lemonade or a sour face. It's what we add to the mix.

(Also what happened doesn't mean someone should vote for or against Edwards. That should be decided on his stand on the issues and how well can he govern. Nobody who runs for president gets a bill of health on their spouse or themselves that lasts through the term.)

13 comments:

Ingineer66 said...

I am generally a positive person. And I saw beauty in each of the photos that you showed. I actually like some of todays photos better than yesterdays. I am not sure why, I will have to ponder that one. I definitely appreciate the truck passing the trailer though as I see that so often in my travels on I-5 and other roads here in Nor Cal. But it is most often some guy on vacation pulling his trailer that tries to pass the truck going up hill at about 1 mile per hour faster than the truck that he is trying to pass. All of us that are not a truck and trailer get stuck behind this guy so he can get to the top one minute sooner than he would have had he just stayed in line in the right lane.

On the John Edwards thing, I respect their decision, but I think it might have been wise to suspend his run for a while. He still could have gone to a few major events while waiting to see what her outcome was going to be. Then he could have got back in with gusto in the Fall in plenty of time. We are still a year away from primary season. It was definitely a political move to leak that he was going to announce that he was withdrawing from the race and then just announce that she had a re-lapse of the cancer. He got ten times the coverage that way.

Rain Trueax said...

you always think the worst of democrats, never imagine any of them could do something for good reasons. What about if Edwards himself didn't leak anything but someone in his camp assumed he would drop out based on previous comments he had made? They didn't have long between finding out and telling the press-- which is a lot better than hiding it or trying to.

Because I don't think the worse of democrats, I believe if he felt he could help her by dropping out, he would; but this is terminal for her. She can extend her life but she cannot save it by anything she does. She said she was the one who didn't want to have it be her that stopped his run. I would take them at their word.

Nobody else retires when a partner gets cancer and stays home to take care of them-- most people couldn't afford to. It sounds like her treatment will be easier on her this time than with the breast cancer-- from what I'm reading. He can't fix this for her and that's the bottom line. It's very sad and a good example of how we all should live our lives fully because nobody gets guarantees that something like this won't come along.

Ingineer66 said...

My feelings about the leak and him staying in the race would be no different if he was a republican. You always think I am anti-democrat.
I like Arnold and he is a democrat.
I think the Edwards family should focus on raising their 6 and 8 year old children and giving them the most time with their mother and father that they can. Instead she is worried about her legacy being that she kept her husband from being president. Look at Reagan or Nixon. Even if he totally dropped out he could come back in 4 or 8 years if he is really destined to be president. And John's comment that seems to say that the kids need to grow up and take care of themselves is just weird. They are little kids. Maybe the kids are just trophies to him and take a back seat to his career. Fifteen to twenty years from now when one of them writes a tell all book about how bad their father was or one of them commits suicide then we will see for sure.

Rain Trueax said...

was that a joke about arnold???

As for the Edwards, every family has to evaluate it differently but I assume that means you would be in favor of giving gov't assistance to all spouses of a terminally ill partner? So they can take time off to spend the most time possible with them?

What Elizabeth Edwards recognized was something I have had to understand in my life. There is a difference between a calling and a job. For those with callings, there aren't regular work hours, there is no time the person really leaves it behind. To ask someone who has a calling to dump it, means for them to deny who they are, to leave them feeling they were letting down their original promise.

When someday Elizabeth Edwards needs hospital care, he will probably have to deal with it differently but for now she said she is able to do this and is not giving cancer the victory until she has to. Everybody has to decide that for themselves-- if they have the option. A lot don't, due to our lack of health care for everybody.

Luckily he hasn't lost your vote over this as you'd never have voted for him anyway probably. It would be sad if democrats have the viewpoint you do. I see it as it's about the issues and his abilities. By your thinking, Cheney should not have ever been vice president... hmmmmmm maybe not a bad idea after all :)

Ingineer66 said...

I was thinking that I had been a little harsh because I am in pain from a broken rib and not feeling especially tolerant, but maybe you are a little crabby from your long trip cause you are reading way too much into my comments. And me not voting for John Edwards is about issues and abilities. I don't like many things about him and his comments about his children yesterday did not help his case with me. And the way history is playing out, maybe you are right about Cheney. I used to like him, but like other people, if you get enough strikes against you, then maybe it is you and not the rest of the world that are wrong. Maybe he should take one for the team and step down instead of Alberto Gonzalez. But as a democrat you want to see Bush, Cheney and Gonzalez resign.
And everybody has access to health care in this country. Maybe you are thinking of our neighbor to the north where people die waiting for lifesaving procedures that are common place here.

Ingineer66 said...

Separate Issue: I pondered why I like todays photos more than yesterdays. The first reason is the sky is blue in some of them instead of cloudy. I like blue sky. The second is that I like to find the positive in things. Even though there are things in the photos that might be considered ugly, there is still beauty in the photo. Like the one of the radio/microwave tower. There are some really neat cactii in the same photo. Reason three. I like Americana. I guess that is what you call it. Although if the photo is of an old Russian train car, I would still like it but not know what to call it. Maybe I just like photos of old things that show how people used to live or how some places are still stuck in the past.

Rain Trueax said...

I am trying to understand how Edwards dropping out of the race would help his children? They are going to have their mother die prematurely but she could have 10 years. This was caught early. She could have something that progresses very fast or she might be able to hold it off but everybody has to accept the reality that children no place are guaranteed perfect parenting until they are adults. I suspect that when he was a senator and when he was a high priced lawyer, he wasn't home with them a lot either. Since he lost a son already, I don't think anybody else should judge whether he understands the cost of loss. He can't protect his children from that. He likely won't win the nomination because Hillary is most likely to get that. A

s for my mood. It's great. I had a wonderful morning up on the mountain with a lot of good photos to share here whenever I get a chance to work on them, have gotten flowers to replant what was freeze damaged this year, a nice lunch at a deli.

I just don't feel that it's right for others to judge what the Edwards are doing. I think if I had the same choice, I'd live my life as I had been living it for as long as I could. I can't imagine going home and hiding away because what good would that do? She is getting the care she needs and that's all she can do-- follow doctor's orders.

Listening to some TV on the way down, some of the cancer specialists recommend just what the Edwards are doing-- keep on keeping on. Someday she won't be able to but that day isn't now.

I wouldn't remotely want Cheney to resign right now. Just saying that if he had not been eligible to run because he had a heart condition that could kill him prematurely, things might have been better than they are as I think he's a lot of the Iraq mess. But we don't do that. We give the public the information-- usually although not always-- and they decide if the health issue is a big enough one to not vote for someone. Betty Ford had a mastectomy right after he got elected, did that make him unable to govern?

I said the same thing about voting. Vote for the issues and the quality of the man's leadership but not on something that is personal-- which this is. They seem like a couple very much in love. How they handle this is up to them. I read that she found out she had the rib problem when he came home from the campaign trail and gave her a big hug.

Too bad about your rib. How did you break it?

Rain Trueax said...

i also like photos like those and take them often. The offbeat appeals to me but as for clouds. I love cloud formations and storms, very picturesque

Ingineer66 said...

I like clouds and formations and thunder storms too. But I like blue sky too. Maybe I just cant explain why I like todays pics better. I just do. Kind of like the person that says I dont know what art is, but I know what I like.

Sandy said...

I have to comment on the "neighbor to the north bit". We have all of the health care we could want. The decision now is, do we want to wait? Yes, we do wait longer than what we used to for say a hip replacement or carpal tunnel syndrome etc. But we do not have to in all cases at all, as a matter of fact, they are still mainly elective surgery cases, not all, but alot. It seems to be going the way of "paying" for faster service though, and if you have the money, you definitely get the service or the surgery or whatever it might be faster. Our health care has changed a great deal in the past 5 years and I'm not exactly sure what to attribute it to. As for the Edwards...without getting into the politics of this at all, stressing lol, not getting into the politics, it is a brave woman that decides to keep on fighting. In my opinion, what other choice do you have but to fight!! What they have decided to do as a family is their business. Be it right, wrong or indifferent. And yes Ing, how did you hurt your rib?

Anonymous said...

Being a two time breast cancer survivor myself, first in 1989 and again in 1997, you play a waiting game. When it is diagnosed in the bone, especially in someone as young as Elizabeth Edwards, it may be what kills her--but it may not. When you've had breast cancer, you meet lots and lots of other women who have it or have had it. Even with metastases these days, death can be prolonged a very long time in some cases. Also, with research making astounding progress in the treatments of breast cancer, who knows? Perhaps there will be a breakthrough, although for now, it is not curable.

At first I was shocked when they decided to stay in the race, but after reading more and hearing her speak, I think like you do, Rain. It is not only a life lesson for her children, it is for each and every one of us. You do what you have to do--and if her treatment becomes too devastating during the campaign, I trust he will revisit his decision. But, I recently had a psychologist friend pass away who lived with her breast cancer, and its spread to the bone and ultimately all over, for 15 years and she practiced the majority of the many times she was treated. She made a difference to her patients right up to the end--and was a powerful example of not giving up. Thanks for writing on this topic.

Ingineer66 said...

So Sandy it sounds like your health care system has evolved into one similar to ours. The government or taxpayers pay for poor people to have health care and the people who can afford better care pay for it themselves.

Rain Trueax said...

Read Time goes by today for what happens to many middle class families on health care if something goes catastrophically wrong. Yes, the poor are covered as are the rich, those who work for the government or big business, but for others, you get coverage all right-- when you have lost everything you have. Medicaid is not for just anyone. There are a lot of people in this country, who work hard, but have no health insurance and through nothing they did suddenly find themselves in a mess. Not to mention the families who have it until their children reach a certain age, and then the child is hit by an accident or something catastrophic, and what does the parent do? turn their back? Not likely.