Reincarnation

For most of my life, reincarnation was something weird which certain religions and New Agers believed. It was a no-no to the church where I belonged. Then something happened which made me wonder if reincarnation might be true, and I began seriously looking into it. Talking to a lot of people, having read easily some twenty books on the subject, a series of regressions (meditative state to retrieve past life memories), and I still don't know what I believe. Maybe I won't know, as some say they do, until I pass over-- which hopefully won't be immediately; so there is still time to figure it out.

Some of what reincarnation would mean depends on how it works; and there are more than a few possibilities each believed strongly by different groups.

Some questions that come quickly to mind: Would reincarnation be a blessing or a curse? Is it a chance to get things right when you hadn't before, or is it an endless cycle of repeating mistakes? Does it let you put off doing something today because you think you can fix it next time except you just repeat the pattern? Given the mess the current citizens have been making of the world, why would we want to come back (if it's a choice)? Actually, if the population takes the hits some believe are coming, there may be a lot less human life possible on this earth for awhile.

Of those who teach about reincarnation, most say we reincarnate in soul groups but opinions vary on how that works. As best I understand it, the Buddhist thinking is that we reincarnate in cultural groups; and pieces of our experiences, as well as others, could be used in any future human being in that group. To some, there is an oversoul, for wont of a better word, overseeing possibly even several humans lives at one time. Some who have done regressions have connected with those 'other' lives.

Some see this all as a more lineal reincarnating where the individual soul lives lifetime after lifetime as it grows in understanding and depth. This could leave that soul accountable at a last judgment and also would fit with Christian doctrine-- even though traditional Christianity denies the doctrine of reincarnation.

Regardless of what is true (and there are more explanations for how it works), the one thing I definitely see as true is that the woman I am today, my body, life, loves, this is my one shot at living and I need to do it as best I can. I should not live depending on another chance. This moment is all I can know I have-- and I do mean moment.

However, if there is a next time and if karma is true, then what I have done won't end here. I won't be able to escape the consequences of my wrong doing by dying or by a few words asking for forgiveness. I will take what I am, good and bad, with me to try again. Worrying about goofing up can't lead me to doing nothing and playing it safe, as in not living fully, could be as much a failure as plunging in, taking the chance, and failing.

In my next blog, Iberia, I will describe one of my regression experiences, part of a series I did eight summers ago; so those who are interested in such can see how the process can work. Although the regressions happened so long ago, the thoughts about them recently have crystalized and helped me see more of the meaning to the stories. The images from those meditative sessions are still strong in my memory.

Some would say regressions are our subconscious giving us story problems to illustrate what we are doing this time. But whatever it is, there is no reason to do them unless we use the experiences to gain understanding into ourselves and our motivations for how we are living today.

(If you happen to be one of those who knows for sure, one way or the other, any experiences you have had would be great to hear in comments. If your story seems too long for there, email it to me, and I will see if it could fit into one of my blogs to share with others.)

Sun and Water

Sun and water. Both are good for life, but too much or too little of either is bad. With all the talk of global warming, do we really know what it could mean to us individually? Too much sun. Too little rain. Too much salty ocean water as glaciers melt. What do we do-- if anything?

If you have little respect for Al Gore, you probably dislike 'An Inconvenient Truth' bringing this all up again. George Bush, who might have been thought to have some tiny interest in whether global warming is happening, said he would not see the film. There are two immediate reasons that come to my mind why he wouldn't. He doesn't want to know if there is truth in it, and he doesn't want to let anybody, of the diehard thirty some percent who still believe he's a great president, think Gore might have been a better one. Actually there is a third and fourth-- short attention span and only interested in what suits his political agenda-- and that is make money for those already well off. Plus to his base, global warming is a communist plot, not happening, or if it is, it's natural cycle, nothing to do with the human activities and nothing can be done about it.

Whenever Bush suggests he might have some concern about global warming, he loses another couple of points from his base who have several agendas-- one moral and the other financial, and financial doesn't want to hear about anything that costs them money. (What gets me about that is using long-range planning, the supposed saving of money is as short-sighted as not putting solid doors between cockpits and passengers back in the days when that was expensive-- before terrorists, using a plane as a bomb, showed the airline industry what expensive was.)

With a hot summer in the United States, it's easy to say-- ah-ha global warming is the culprit, but the consequences of global warming aren't so simple to predict or assess. I saw this link in Prevention magazine online and thought it worth sharing. I hope anybody who is going to say it's nothing we need to worry about will at least take the time to read Ten misconceptions on global warming. It's always good when we say something is wrong, to at least know what that something is.

We can't say because our own neighborhood is hotter that it automatically means global warming. Climate cycles have always been over more years than one lifetime, but it is still worth noting when we do see changes. Because most of us get our food from a grocery store and live in homes that are somewhat climate controlled, we aren't nearly as aware as primitive peoples might have been, but we also could have more options if we get aware.

The big questions for me on this are: if this is global warming, if the oceans do rise say twenty feet as some calculate, what do we do about it? If the oceans change their temperatures, what will that do to our wind and rain patterns? Is our government doing anything to prepare people for the possible future need for big changes in where they can live? Is there any interest in developing improved dikes for the major cities which are not that far above sea level? What can we as individuals do? If the sun, as some say it will soon be doing again, puts out increased solar flares, is that significant for heating up the earth (not like it's one we can change but being aware might help)?

I sit along my little creek, that is lower than it has been for flow. I watch the skies and wonder what is coming, can I protect what I love from big changes when I am not even sure what they might be?

This isn't a time to be Chicken Little, running around crying the sky is falling, which accomplishes nothing; but it could well be one for the Grasshopper and the Ant. Are we preparing for what might be coming in a responsible way before it's too late? Are we paying attention to the signs and deciding for us what they mean? What is our government doing-- if anything?

(The photos are on the farm here. The first one was not photoshopped but taken with my Canon Rebel with the 100-400mm telephoto lens, looking down the irrigation line and letting the sun intrude into the image. That telephoto is really amazing for what it can do to a simple view.)

Staying cool when it's not

Does that sunset look hot? It should. Unusual for the west side of the Cascades, our daytime temperatures have gotten as high as 108 but the bigger surprise, in the country where I live, has been lows in the mid seventies at night and 75% humidity. Wow, that was sweat dripping weather and required my taking some usual and unusual methods for cooling off.

This farmhouse has no central air conditioning, but the heat wave led to bringing down from the attic a room a/c unit which has never been used here. Always the creek cools the bedroom enough for sleeping... past tense. Right now, I am grateful it's here, well not totally grateful as it turned out it wouldn't fit in any of the bedroom windows which have openings like the one in the photo; so it had to be put in the bedroom's french door with my masonite boards to block insects from entering and block me from easy access to the vegetable garden. I have made bigger sacrifices for less reason.

Mostly what I have done in the past to keep the house cool, I still do. Open windows wide at night. Keep them and blinds closed during the daytime. As a side note: The view you see out my study window looks toward the vegetable garden and beyond to what was my mom and dad's trailer.. oops mobile home-- saying trailer when Mom was alive led a tart correction. We could have removed it after she died, as it was here on a hardship permit granted when you have older parents who need help, but she had this cat. Know any other cats with their own mobile homes? I tried multiple times to convince him to come live here but no go. He knew where his home was and didn't care for our cats at all. When he passes on, the trailer, er mobile home, can go also. I am unsure how old he is but definitely old old and going strong. We had to get a continuance to keep the mobile here using it as a work and storage space. We didn't add it was where Joey would live out his life. The state's main concern was that no person lived there. Well no person does.

For cooling, sprinklers suit the cows fine and actually when timed to go off around the house in the afternoon, they suit me too. Those and fans to circulate the air fool me into at least thinking it's cooler.

The creek is a good place for sitting on a fallen log or wading on a hot day. Heck, a good place for lying out flat in the stream-- if the crawdads don't decide a meal just moved into their neighborhood.

(The sunset from the bedroom window was not enhanced. It was as though the sky was aflame with the heat.)

Irrigation

The first time I ever helped move an irrigation line was after we bought this farm with "first-water" rights on the bordering stream, a pump, mainline and lateral pipes. I remember us (back then it was two adults and two kids) hooking up each pipe, trying to keep the line relatively straight, then standing aside as the pump was turned on.

That day, the sound of water came up the lines, the pressure began to build as it filled the pipes. The first sprinkler head came up slowly, just dribbling out some water, then the second. The entire system gave almost a sigh and like magic the rest came up at the same time with most of the heads turning, throwing life giving water onto the fields. It was beautiful to me then and just as much so today.

This summer, nearly thirty years later, when we started up the system, I was standing at the end of the mainline to signal when the water cleared of mud and debris (winter's contribution to the pipes). I saw a little rodent head with dark eyes poke out; and then as quickly disappear when it saw me. Obviously the little one knew something was about to happen to what had been a secure home. It was not yet sure how serious the problem was. A time like that is when it's really good the line is started in sections, as if the little critter had to make it to the very end of the pipes, with a gusher of water chasing it, it would have had no hope (which would not have been good for us either as it would have meant a drowned rodent midway somewhere). As it was, as the water began to flow, out it exploded, drenched, skittering like mad for the trees on the other side of the road. It made it. Now whether it'll find a more secure home, that's more debatable. It is the bottom of the food chain after all.

The photos are of the long main line, then the laterals (the creative bends are complements of the cows who like to put their stamp on everything), and finally the pump down by the creek as the water starts to flow.

Moving pipe is good exercise as there is a lot of bending, lifting and walking--no part of it graceful or pretty. Someone with a lot of strength and balance can unhook the long pipes, lift one by themselves and rehook it into the next location down the field. I am not that someone. I am the someone who can pick up one end of the pipe and carry it down or up the field, rejoining it at the next location.

The bucket (you can kind of see alongside the pump, below the big pipe) is in case the pump has lost its prime overnight (the neighbors, whose house is across the creek from the pump, prefer not hearing it run at night). It is refilled by the leak you see in the photo; so it's ready for the next run-- unless the cows, like they did one night this week, decide it's a good source of water and drink it dry.

We don't pull much water from the stream, but if water levels drop too low, irrigation can be stopped by the state or ourselves. These days, our little stream is too small for anything but crawdads, mussels, and tiny fish. With the heavily logged hills above us, warmer temperatures and less rain, the creek, when it gets to us, has not appeared as full as what we have normally seen.

Our responsibility is to the land-- creek, grass, and the animals that live from it. The whole process is part of the balance of life where we try to take care of our obligations without unfairly draining resources. It's true for all people; but on a small patch of land with a few animals, it might just be easier to see.

What about prayer?

For a long time, when someone has come to me to tell me about a bad situation in their life, I have not known what to say if they ask-- will you pray for me? My problem is not that I don't want to help, but...

The same thing is true in my personal life when I am in a situation where I feel powerless and want someone, as in someone from the 'other' side, to come in and fix it. I come again to that but...

The 'but' is I am uncertain what I think about prayer at this point in my life. I know what I have been told.

In the Bible, Jesus said tell your father what you need. This sounds like it would be a simple statement, no bargains, no frills, and also he added not done in public for the world to hear. Obviously God already knows what we need; so prayer is why exactly? Does prayer have a purpose beyond getting something we think we want? When did it switch from an in-the-closet event, such as Jesus described, to out-in-public and done in a different tone of voice with often thees and thous to add to the piety?

With all the books on how to pray correctly, some seem to regard prayer as learning how to rub a bottle with a jinni inside. If we rub it right, voila all that we want is there for us. I have been in churches and heard people espouse the belief we should pray to God for everything from cars to jobs to healings. I know the stories of miracles that came from prayer, but also of the ones who prayed and the answer came back-- no. That's what many say happened when someone prayed and didn't get the answer for which they hoped. We want to believe God answered, whether it worked out or not, because nobody likes thinking they are without power in a world that is so scary.

Is there anyone who would not want to pray a solution into being for the mess in the Middle East-- if it could even be agreed what that solution would look like? Is there anyone who follows the news at all and doesn't feel pity for the ordinary Lebanese and Israeli citizens caught in a war they didn't do anything to cause?

There are so many frightening things in the world-- nothing new in that. Today, it'd be war, terrorism, global warming, concentrated power, extreme poverty, disease, weather, and even moral questions. Whenever things come up that are bigger than most of us can see solutions to, people suggest prayer as the answer. Or better yet, everybody pray at the same time. Do I believe that works? I have to be honest. No. I am not a believer that we can alter someone else's actions through prayer. I don't think Pat Robertson altered the path of a hurricane to hit someone other than him. I don't think you win a football game because you prayed. It's not that I think God couldn't. It's that I don't think it's how it works, but am no longer sure of what actually is right.

On a personal level, I could use some prayer right now to change myself, but I am not sure I am any more capable of doing that than changing the world. Recently, I've been experiencing a lot of depression, sadness, feelings of worthlessness. (It's summertime! What the heck is depression doing ruining my summer? This is my favorite season and yet that hasn't stopped my tears.) This would be the perfect time for prayer for myself, but don't we have to go through some negative things to get to what we want in life? Is suffering always wrong when possibly it's an indicator we need to change something that isn't working?

(You can tell I'm a Libra, if you know astrology, because no matter what a situation is, I can always see both sides of it. Being born Libra could be considered a curse!)

Anyway, I personally have for years had a hard time praying other than-- Please help or Thank you. Once in awhile I will light a candle that is specific or request something because a friend needs to know that there are others praying for them, but it's rare and I am always uncomfortable doing it as I wonder was that a good idea?

I have made sculptures and paintings showing men or women supplicating God or the spirit world-- hands raised to heaven or bowing low; but if God is inside us, is any of that the right way to reach out when maybe it's reaching in that we need.

So I asked my friend, who wrote the earlier posts-- With your view of life, who would you pray to and how would you do it? Here is his answer:

"Well, we are taught a lot of things and some are pretty close to the mark and most aren’t. However, to answer your question, personally, I would not pray to anyone. I would create a “heartfelt command” of what I wanted to occur and then leave it up to the Universe to create a place for it on its agenda.

"In truth, the way we’re taught to “pray” is more akin to begging and that simply isn’t necessary. That kind of thinking is akin to having a “fear of God” and that is incredibly impossible when you really look at it. You will indeed get all the help you want if you ask for it correctly. You can’t beg for anything, you have to command it from your heart or core being.

"When I do it, I get really quiet (making sure things around me are really quiet too). Next, after my body is finally settled and completely relaxed, I wait until my mind clears itself. After that, I center myself around the command that I want to create or pose. Next I move the energy in my heart around the command and request that the Universe make it happen on its “time table”.

"Then I totally let it go, get up and go do something entirely different and hopefully not think about it again. The thing you requested may not happen in the way you wanted, but it will happen in a way that best suits you, those involved, and the Universe.

"You’ll notice, that no form of incense burning, humming, grunting, feather waving, chanting, etc. is involved. That is just fascia."

Shucks... fascia always makes me feel good at least..

Creation: OBEs

[Again, from my friend's emails over a period of weeks where the discussion at various times discussed out of body traveling, why and how. Brackets enclose anything I have added to clarify something that stretched from an earlier conversation and might not be clear otherwise.]

"All of my education on this was a combination of opening my awareness, reading information, being educated by the American Indian elders, general and directed meditations, and out-of-body experiences (OBE). In my consideration, I would say that the one dominate source is meditation. The OBE is a just a secondary experience of focused meditation. If you read the book 'Raja Yoga' by Yogi Ramacharaka you’ll see these techniques (and they are laid out in the book) as stepping stones or methods to focusing your mental awareness in specific directions

Out of body travel isn’t proof of anything, since we return with no scientific proof of anything. Oh sure, there are some things that will definitely raise an eyebrow, like remote viewing, etc. but still that’s not definitive proof of anything. This is one of the reasons I really got into regression and progression. Again, this could be written off as directed meanderings of the mind. However, there is one little item here that does have a level of believability to it, and that is the personal experience(s) on a group level where everyone experiences the same thing or things. This kind of thing will cause a self-feeding escalation even without the physical intervention.

On their own, people will move past the physical, and this sometimes goes for skeptics. I say sometimes, because I’ve experienced about 1% who either freak on the spot and “run”, or they start denying what they’re experiencing but remain calm. Again, this isn’t objective science at all, but it’s really hard to deny what all your senses are telling you, plus what your mind is also telling you.

Nevertheless, I still wish that it could be videotaped somehow along with all of the emotional nuances. Now that would be worth it. I suppose that you have to develop a mentality that you’re experiencing things that are particular just to you.

[To make this clearer], souls only “travel” when the body dies. The spirit inhabiting a body is separate from the “soul”. A “soul” is more of a bio-mechanism recording device than anything else. It is the spirit that travels.

In the traveling situation, when you’re hurtling through space and time, you’re generally highly focused on where you’re going, not the sights. I do admit that I have stopped several times and gotten caught up in the sights and other things that were going on. I’m assuming that the reason for not seeing it all is that the speed that you’re traveling is seen as E=MC³, which is the speed of thought.

Yes, there are many, many interesting things to constantly learn. The more you stay out of body, you become more mentally aware of the things, laws, etc. that make up your Universe. It’s all very interesting, awesome, fun, exciting, etc. and the nice thing is that there’s always something new to experience. When you decide (and decide is the magical word here), you slowly evolve into a new knowledge, instead of having to dig for it when you’re residing in the physical. Yep, there are many “mysteries” so-to-speak in the world when you’re “young”, but they slowly make sense or become explained as you mature. If you mature fast enough, you learn more quickly. Nothing new about that statement.

In my romps through the “void”, I’ve certainly come across a myriad of things, but nothing “scary” at all. I will admit that there are some things out there that are so very different to anything that you can imagine that your senses might find themselves “peaking” for a moment or two. If you’re prone to fright, instead of curiosity, I wouldn’t suggest that you go romping around without the proper “supervision”.

There are some people here who silently strive to understand the bigger picture of it all, although they rarely can get that understanding over to others. So they usually just quietly communicate among themselves and/or investigate the Universe on their own to add to their own knowledge.

There’s no way that you could educate a baby into this kind of arena without causing a mental burnout or breakdown. Their minds just aren’t ready for it, nor capable. I’m also of the opinion that if the average human were allowed to really see at least 1-2 different dimensions that are overlaid on top of this one, that would indeed forever change a person’s idea of reality (of course they’d really have to be ready to see something like that in the first place).

If you move your mind up several notches, and this is no easy maneuver, you will eventually perceive a totally different reality that is part of what you currently are and more. You will perceive an increasing rainbow of additional colors…all of your senses will increase. You will become aware of the fact that you are growing into a totally new awareness of existence.

In truth, we are all in a form of “training”, but that is really a side issue unless that direction is what you’re really seeking. Going that particular route will get you off this merry-go-round of reincarnating over and over again and constantly doing things over and over. Most people think that it’s a just another BS idea of a few religionists and has little if any merit. Again, these are people who are afraid to experiment with these issues on a personal level. They would rather read about it and do nothing on their own, which is just fine. Yes, it is amazing at all the ways of life that exist in and around us.

When different energies meet there is either a siphoning off or and adding to. I say this, because this is generally the case. There is also a third situation and that is when everyone is vibrating at or very near the same frequency. No one is drained or added, insofar as their energies are concerned. They are in “alignment” with each other.

You can’t live enlightened unless you first achieve the ability to become more than what you were. Okay, that’s a bit cryptic, but that’s the BS you have to put up with when no one is around to teach you what you really need to know. Getting to this state isn’t a walk in the park for most people, which is basically why they either give up or fool themselves into thinking that they’ve achieved the state.

There will be those folks out there who have "touched" into more of the "truth" than some, but the truth is that they have no real way of sharing what they've experienced with others, unless those "others" accompany them on their "trips".

If we take a serious look at things like "The Holy Spirit", herein again is something based on an unseen energy force that causes things to happen that are outside what we know to be the laws of physics. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, I'm just saying that these "happenings" are outside of our understanding of known effects and they aren't reproducible even in this day and age. However, under the right conditions, they are observable.

Creation: Creators

[These words are my friend's comments to me via email and put together here to discuss the topic of who are the Creators/creators. Brackets enclose anything I have added to clarify something that stretched from an earlier conversation and might not be clear otherwise.]

"There are physical beings out there in the Universe that are tasked with building planets, suns, moons, entire races of other beings, etc. Would you call them “gods” or “creators”? What if I told you that you can do the same (with a little training and help)? Does that also make you a “god” or “creator”? Of course it does. Don’t be fearful of what you really are or can be to yourself or others. The reason we only pick on the smaller parts, so-to-speak, is because most of us prefer to not push past the “veil” that would allow us to regain our “smarts” and abilities again.

Are there pictures or some kind of physical evidence that the human’s idea of God even exists? No, there is no real evidence that there is a God of any kind. Are there beings or entities that insure that the engines of creation and un-creation are maintained, updated, etc.? You bet. Are they in our immediate neighborhood? You bet and closer than you might imagine. Can you talk to them? No, not directly. It’s not that there’s a primary God somewhere that listens to your prayers, there isn’t, but the collective mental energy for a particular desire is indeed brought into the physical.

These entities who you might look at as the Spiritual military or guardians of creation do “die”, but they have the ability to step in and out of Spirit almost at will. So we would fathom these beings as never dying and never being born…or without a birth and death cycle, because their lifespan (in the physical) appears to be forever. It isn’t.

There is no singular mentality that created you and me. We were created by a huge group of beings from another place in the Universe for a particular purpose. There is no real Ultimate Creator. There are really a lot of Creators and a huge herd of creators, plus even more gods and minor gods, not to exclude their own minions of "others". In my experience, yes there is something at the "top" making decisions and so forth, and a good way to look at it all is to remember how businesses are set up on this planet.

A really larger company doesn't usually have a single individual running the place, no, there's usually a collection of people...a board. The same is true for the Universe. Its operation is much the same, but slightly different. There was no singular "Thing" that was here from all time and never disappears. There was and still is a group, granted a very special group, but never the less, a group of individuals who control the sectors of this Universe.

In a way, I'd like to say that they're the ones who make life and death decisions, but since nothing really dies (just changes form), I can't really say that, but their importance in keeping the Universe running smoothly is of the most paramount importance. As such, when they do speak, others indeed jump!

In this Universe, there are all sorts of balances and checks in place at all times that constantly report their findings to the Universe. These beings are more related to Supreme Council Members than anything else that I can relate to, and they were of the first beings to be created. I've never seen this council directly, but I have been in attendance to a few meetings. To my mentality, they appear to be "robed" figures without relatable features like faces. I identify then by their energy signature. You "feel" them when they're around and you just "know" who and what they are.

[The concept of multiple gods] isn’t all that wrong at all. Some religions are just more open with it that a lot of others. If you were aware of many of the religious sects that have long gone underground, you’d have a better idea of this being a truism.

Like we've talked about before, there are always a few grains of real truth in old stories [like Greek myths]. Back in those olden days, physics wasn't a requirement and people easily leapt over that little hurdle. The physics of the creation(s) came later or not at all.

When I was with the elders, there were many stories [of gods] without cruelty or harshness. In my imagination, I could have easily included such things, but took it straight from the elders to listen carefully as they always seemed to have a really good point or two to their stories that they so carefully told to us kids. Yes, there was death, hard times, harshness, etc. but it all had a good point whenever they would take the time to tell us the stories of their elders or ancestors.

They explained what these minor gods were and what they did. As an example, I do remember being told that there were "gods" who came from the sky in flaming machines. Okay, at first it wasn't flaming machines, it was flaming moons. Depending on the "god", there were "holes" in these moons where the gods could look out of them. There were always various little descriptions. Some of the other elders preferred to analyze these descriptions with modern-day things. Anyway, I'm sure you get the picture here. You know, this thing with "gods" is getting to the point where the consideration of it is ridiculous. If an example of early man came in contact with an astronaut from another planet, who's going to appear to be the god?

When you begin to really understand that "Satan" isn't a negative entity, the thought progression moves entirely in another direction, and you begin to wonder just what was the real function of the so-called devil. Trust me; it wasn't what was taught by the Europeans to the ignorant. Was good ol' Satan just another "god"? At this particular juncture, I'd say "you betcha"!

[Before the destruction and recreation of this earth was] the realm where the first beings with incredibly long life spans (i.e., their life spans would be measured in trillions of years). These beings created and partitioned off sections of their own mind and established these Universes for their own purposes.

This one God that you’re referring to is the originator of this particular Universe only. You might even say that this Universe is the “school room” for its own growth. This being can control almost anything with just a thought. However, that would take up an immense amount of its time, so some of that effort was given to its lesser creations to perform. These “lesser” beings were also known to be gods as they could do many of the same things that the God could do.

Since the original God created the lesser ones, and they in turn created us, yes you could say that there is one God. Keep in mind that this being was also “created”, so which is the “one” God? How far up the ladder do you wish to go with this thinking? Also why is it important?

Creation's Structure

[These words are all my friend's, taken from multiple email conversations and compiled by me to share here. This particular one is on creation and how it is put together as he believes.]

That which was here before time as we now know it, would be called pure chaos, because we can't usually grapple with the enormous-ness of all of it. We can deal with small pieces of it, but not with the entire consideration.

Things are indeed born out what some people would call “nothing”. There is NO nothing. The Universe isn’t “empty” and never has been. There are things in the Universe that we simply can’t “see” at the moment, but our scientists are beginning to understand this issue.

You’ll never grasp the concept [of something coming from nothing] if you stay mired down in logic. You have to jump off the merry-go-round of logic in order to make the leap into the bigger picture. There is just no other way to get there from here. You’re taught to be “logical” from an infant, so there’s a lot of BS to wade through before you can get to a point of letting go. I know, I’ve been through that before…and more than once too.

Just in the past 5 years, scientists are beginning to understand that the Universe is multidimensional or has many layers that interact with each other-- each of these layers being necessary for the other layers to exist. Metaphysicians have been touting the existence of the multiverse for centuries. There is a lot more to existence than just the visual and or third dimensional physical nature. There are a growing number of people who are growing and getting a good handle on working and understanding this multi-layered Universe. If you just focus on the physical or the observable, you’re going to wind up missing out on the rest of the spectrum.

Now envision that there are hundreds of energy layers that are overlapping each other, each with their own collection of Universes. The numbers stack up to some pretty awesome amounts. Be that as it may, all of this at one time did not exist anywhere at all. There are energy levels that are so high up on the spectrum we can only imagine it with the help of mathematics. Mechanically, it’s almost impossible to create something to vibrate at those frequencies with any stability.

There is visible energy and there is “dark” energy. So far, our scientists have only dealt with the visible part of the Universe and now are just beginning to deal with these other parts. Also keep in mind that a Universe is a special area (envision a toroidial shape, a doughnut) where a special set of circumstances are allowed. Also keep in mind that there are hundreds of these special areas within the third through the seventh dimensions (energy layers).

When it comes to creation, there are “rules”, but when you look at it from our point of view, there are no rules at all, at least none than follow logic in the way we know it. You simply desire for it to come into being and “bang”, there it is. In truth, there’s a lot more to it than just that, but this isn’t the time for explaining it.

Don’t keep your head caught between the door jamb and door of everyday physics. Physics is only good for keeping a system of some kind in operation by the installation of “laws”, which is nothing more than a predetermined set of energies that operate something over and over. That system has nothing to do with anything related to creation.

Creation is outside of the laws of physics or dynamics. I know that may be hard to swallow, but it’s really true. Our physicists have been discovering this on an on-going basis for years. This indeed also applies to spiritually related issues as well.

Regarding the big-bang theory, it was a temporary understanding-- okay at that time. What scientists are beginning to discover and agree on is that the big-bang situation was only good for this dimension or energy level. Our minds can’t grapple with the concept of a trillion years of time, let alone the concept of trillions of trillions of years. There are beings out there with these kinds of life spans. To us, they live forever.

Yes, there were places in the Continuum of things long before there were individualized Universes. This dimension (third, where we currently reside) was at many times devoid of all life. The rules were changed and things started over again. Granted all of those decisions were made in a dimension that’s far more energetic that this one. Once they were made, and the permissions granted, the Universe(s) started over again, and some just picked up where they left off. There has always been “life” going on in some dimension (energy level), just not always in this particular energy level.

Initially, I was of the opinion that the Universe was all that there was. Then I learned that there are over 400 other examples of Universes. Much later, I learned there are folks who regularly traverse from one Universe to another. Some do this in vehicles and other just visit them either out of body or they create a new body if they choose to interact within another Universe.

For most folks, trying to understand this is akin to trying to make sense out of drowning in chaos so immeasurable that the senses can’t possibly grapple any portion of it, except for very small pieces. So they still can’t fathom the larger picture at all, because they can’t get past what is at the fringe of their perceptions.

This is indeed an extremely complex Universe. In truth, there’s no such thing as “simple”, and yes there are indeed many who are called gods and lords, etc. There are ways you can experience other worlds to fully grasp their purpose(s) of existence, but again, you can’t do it from the safety of your living room with a book or listening to someone relate it to you. You have to figure out how to go there and experience it first hand. Every planet is different and each one has a “belt” of information around it that you can use for “downloading information

From what I’ve been able to put together, it basically seems that the rudimentary purpose is the “what if factor”. In other words, experimentation! Let’s see what happens when we do this or that. I hope this doesn’t piss you off, but it certainly seems to be true when you stop looking at scenarios that are happening in front of your nose and check out the bigger pictures.

Logic is the problem here, since we were created. It’s difficult to fathom that there could be beings that are incredibly intelligent and have life spans that seem entirely endless. I hope this gives you a better picture. There is NO nothing. You simply can’t rely on the Universe being only what you see, because there is so much more there that just isn’t within the visual perception range,"

(The painting, 'From Out of Chaos,' is old one of mine-- 42" x 50," Acrylic on stretched canvas, and my attempt at the time to show how creation comes together, not just the Universe but any sort with the elements out there, coming together and coalescing into a new creation)

Creation Stories

Where did all this come from? Well you know you opened your computer to read this blog. You planted your garden from seeds you either gathered or bought, were born to your parents. Everything began somewhere, didn't it?

But what about all of this? What do you think about how the universe began and an even tougher question-- why? Next comes: why do you know the stories you do about creation? For most it will have come through parents, maybe Sunday School, friends, reading books, and what it is will have been much influenced by what community you grew up in. Some have had personal experiences, but often those are influenced by what they were expecting to have.

If for creation, you believe in science and have accepted evolution as a sole explanation, you are still left with 'how did the gases get there?' Nothing comes from nothing except something had to-- no matter what religion or science you espouse. No matter how you reason through things, you are back to a mystery. [My friend reminded me that more and more science is creating things out of 'nothing' but anything in this universe is using what is already here as the starting blocks. What about when 'nothing' was here?]

For those who use the Bible as their total reference for truth, it doesn't tell them where God came from nor how He (using he but understanding in Scripture, God is not man or woman in the human sense. Since I don't plan to say she/he/it every time I write something, I'll alternate) got here or there or wherever anything is-- including us. (With how easy it is to go in circles, it's not hard to see why people don't try to reason far when looking at the subject of existence itself.)

The Bible says He just was... or rather they. Because as well as Scripture not having god as male or female; it also doesn't have god as one entity. We are told there can only be one god in places like the Ten Commandments yet in Genesis it says-- Let Us make man in our image. What is this 'us' business? For Christians it would be Father, Son and Holy Spirit but that still left a problem until they coined the term (which is not actually in Scripture) Trinity... and left it a mystery. Can't have multiple gods... or can we?

Most of what we know spiritually has come through human interpretations and humans vary a lot for how effective they are at that interpreting. If you believe the Bible is literally the word of God, you would believe She didn't allow for error-- except ever read different translations today that change meanings totally to suit the political times? Guess God doesn't care about translations? Black Elk, an Oglala Sioux holy man, said it well-- he wanted to be a hollow bone for God, a conduit for truth who didn't let his humanness get in the way. We, who wish to share spiritual truths or learn them, do our darnedest to do that, but we are in the end using human vessels-- with all the good and bad that carries with it.

I have a good friend who has experienced many different things than I have spiritually. Through teachings from tribal elders when he was a child, books he read, and finally his own exploration via out-of body travel, to go beyond the physical limits, he found answers that are outside the box many will probably have heard or even be comfortable with-- until you think that whatever you believe, it's all a mystery if you try to understand it beyond the child level.

He and I have discussed such things many times through the years, and he has shown great patience with me as I ask questions again and again that he had answered but I didn't 'get.' For the two of us, if it hadn't been an internet friendship, we could have sat around campfires discussing these things with the smoke rising in the black night sky (maybe we did in some forgotten past). I have had some of my best conversations on spiritual truths with the night sounds and a fire to stare into as each in the group shared their ideas and even sang them.

The last few weeks I've had a lot of questions; and what he gave me back, I not only found fascinating, but decided I wanted to share with others. So for the next three blogs, which will be clearly labeled Creation for those who do not want to consider such right now, my blog will be his words. (I asked his permission as my interpreting it only gets me more confused.)

I am not putting this out to convince anyone. I do so because it's good for us to consider different things, and alternate views of creation aren't what we hear much-- especially not from someone we trust as I do him. What he has told me is very different than what I grew up with, and yet it fits with a lot of what I have been learning as I get into my elder years (and have heard from other intuitive friends). What he believes and has been taught might disturb or might intrigue you to explore further.

He has basically challenged me and would you also to find truth for ourselves-- not rely on any book or anyone else's experiences. He says we all can and should have been taught how to do this in our own cultures at the earliest age of comprehension. We should not depend on others for knowing what is true. There are keys to the universe and how it works, and we can find them and use them.

Some years ago, I explored some of this and came to a roadblock in my ability to go beyond the feeling that life is a mystery that it exists at all. For the last few years, I have been content to just be where I am. Exploring my personal options and choices, looking at what I am doing or didn't do, has been tough enough frankly. But maybe it is now my time to once again look outside my box and see what is there.

So if you are interested in such, pretend for the next three blogs that we are around a campfire, the night is dark, an owl hooting in the distance, and we are listening to someone talk about the structure of this universe and its reason for being-- as best that person understands it.

The tepee (tipi, teepee) is another of my computer paintings. I didn't use it as a symbol here because my friend got some of his information from tribal elders, who lived in houses like ours (although even today when I have seen powwows or encampments at places like Bear Butte in South Dakota, there will be the circles of tepees... of course also usually trailers).

However, I use it because I believe spiritual truths are to be shared communally and a tepee seems a good symbol for that. This painting also shows the way man at one time was very connected to nature by living closer to it. Beyond the small community of people were physical dangers and an unknown cosmos. Stories were exchanged, told and retold to educate people because it was a life or death matter in the physical sense as well as giving reason to existence-- something all men struggle with if they think on it at all.

Dream Work

Dream work for me is one way of connecting with my subconscious and the spirit world. Now and again I have one I feel has significance but in the beginning at least don't know how to interpret. Such a one happened the other night.

The dream had several definite elements which I could look up in the online dream dictionary. Such dictionaries give possible meanings; they are not always the same from one site to another. Sometimes our dreams repeatedly have symbols that only will have meaning to us if we take time to study on from where it's coming. Sometimes we can not want to face a dream's meaning, and it takes a friend or someone who does the work to get past our blind side to the lesson.

With strong dreams, I hold onto them sometimes for years before I 'get' it. Maybe this one was nothing; but because it was repeated twice in the same night, it strengthened my feeling there was a reason.

My dream took place along the ocean, but nowhere I have been. I was a woman and had come from elsewhere. I might have come to be with a man because it appeared he (not a person I can identify from those in my life) had been there all along, but the area was new to me. My days seemed to be spent walking along the beach gathering shells from the water. I think partly because they were pretty and partly because of their food value. Some were beautiful big conch seashells, nothing like you'd normally find by wading. Others I can remember what they looked like but don't know their names.

The man was not always there and often I was alone. He warned me to be wary of quicksand (which looked nothing like real quicksand but instead was more like areas of fluff) that would be in various places. One time, he decided to help me gather shells and it was like peeling back a layer to find them. He went into an area we both could see was quicksand; but he thought he could safely enter it because he knew how. He sank in and couldn't get out as he began to be sucked under. We both knew he would drown as the tide was coming in and water rising to over his shoulders. Because of what he'd told me, I knew it'd be dangerous to help him and could get myself stuck but I was the only one who could. I stretched out and managed to pull him out.

The event played out twice that night. The important elements to me were, the sea, two (because of the repetition and about two people), seashells, pink, and quicksand. The dream dictionary gave the following meanings:

"Sea: To see the sea in your dream, represents your unconscious and your transition between your unconscious and conscious. It also represents your emotions. The dream may also be a pun on your understanding and perception of a situation. "I see" or perhaps there is something you need to 'see' more clearly. Alternatively, the dream may indicate a need to reassure yourself or offer reassurance to someone."

"Seashells: To see seashells in your dream, represents security and protection. You are not showing your true self, or real feelings. In protecting yourself from getting hurt and as a result, you are emotionally closed off."

"Pink: means love, joy, sweetness, happiness, affection, kindness. Being in love or healing through love is also implied with this color."

"Two: stands for diversity, partnership, soul, or receptivity. It can symbolize double weakness or double strength. There is a duality as in male and female, mother and father, yin and yang, etc."

"Quicksand: to dream you are sinking in quicksand, signifies that your assumption that you are on solid ground will prove misleading and you will slowly find yourself in an unexpected position. To dream you are rescued from quicksand by a lover, signifies a worthy and faithful lover."

It is possible that it was about my need to help a friend; but the longer I have thought, another possibility has grown stronger because of the duality. To increase my feeling this was not just about someone else, The Daily Om, the day after the dream, was on our masculine and feminine sides and how they must be in balance.

"Intuition, feelings, openness, and unselfishness govern the feminine side of our natures. The masculine side is characterized by logic, facts, systems, and self interest. If you are giving too much to others to the detriment of yourself, your feminine side might be overactive and your right side may need strengthening, to speak up on your behalf, protecting and conserving your energy."

This dream on one level is hard for me to see its meaning. I definitely did feel I was the woman and not the man. I was not stuck in the quicksand but had to decide if I helped someone else get out of it. But can we ever really do that for another? Have I tried to do that too much and it didn't work?

If I take it on the level that both people were intended to show me a truth, it would be that I must get more in touch with the 'inner me' and am letting my masculine (hard) side be weakened. I may be using the feminine (soft) side too much. I can recognize in myself these two sides are not in balance. The dream could have been saying my logical and get-tough side needs to be stronger if I want to not keep going in circles.


(The shells are mine, collected over many years along the beaches of both Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. The big ones... from stores)

The Path not Taken

Do you ever think about the choices you made and how your life might have been if you or someone else had chosen otherwise? Who would you be today if, at one or another crossroads, you had taken the 'other' path?

It's come to my mind because of doing the self-portraits which ended with eleven, but one which I didn't share in that blog because it wasn't me but instead the 'me' who might have been.

I don't think it's beneficial to look back with regrets for choices that I made, but I do see it good to ask myself if I am doing today what I want and being true to the woman I am. Anything in the past was part of what made me who I am, but I am concerned today to be a woman who follows her instincts, not the crowd.

Probably some people never wonder what their lives might have been if they had studied that particular career in college or hadn't taken that job. Or if they had moved to that city when they wanted to. What if they had married when young or hadn't? It doesn't change today to think on why we made such choices and where it has landed us. It might change tomorrow.

Being in my 60s, one thing I can say is crossroads don't stop happening. When young, I would have thought by this age, I'd have it all worked out, a plan to the end. Maybe some do. I don't. I see there are always things coming along that could voluntarily change it all and it's my choice again and again if that happens. For today's elders, there are far more options than in the past-- second careers, divorces, moves and that doesn't count the times a change is forced through health, disaster or someone else's decisions.

Some old-age choices have remained the same-- like where do we live as we become less mobile-- but there seem to be more options. Do we move to a retirement facility? Do we get medical treatment that could prolong our life but perhaps not its quality? Is it too late to go back to school? Do we listen to the wisdom of others or follow our inner voice? Where years ago, it was our parents telling us what we should do, now it might be siblings or the kids. Where it comes to our culture, do we buck the trends or go with them? From what I can tell, crossroads stop when life does. Not that we have all the choices we had at twenty but there still are paths we can take or not.

When Robert Frost wrote the poem, The Road not Taken, he ended it with some great lines, and I think they are something to think about at any age.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.

Why do so many of us take the road 'most' traveled? Some might be wanting to fit in but some is probably fear of failure, fear of the unknown, not wanting to stand out as different. It seems safer to go the easy road-- or what we think will be easier. We might get lost on that unbeaten pathway. If we have a dream and it's a big one, it might fail.

In the film, The Notebook, part of why the young woman's mother is so worried her daughter will choose poorly for a mate is her own experience. She'd had a love that was not acceptable to her parents and who they convinced her to leave. She married the 'right' one, had wealth and security, but also spent the rest of her life watching the 'wrong' one from a distance. Was her decision to choose as she did a mistake? Can't really say that but the daughter chose otherwise-- and it made all the difference.

I don't believe the lesson of Frost's poem is simply purposing to go against what others have done nor refusing to listen to wisdom from family or friends. I think it is instead listening but with heart and mind also open to our own inner voice. I think it's about at all times being willing to think outside the box. It's not relying on what someone says we 'should' want or think.

With the wisdom of age should come the realization we can't live our life for anyone but ourselves. Sure, we can let fear of the unknown engulf us, live the life others want for us, but that is not the road least taken.

(My computer painting was inspired by an oil painting I saw a few years ago, of a woman bathing in nature with two pintos protecting her. Wish I remembered the painter's name. I think her inspiration was a classic painting from even farther back but cannot remember it either. The angles of the woman's body, the protective caring of the horses stuck in my mind and seemed appropriate to show one road I didn't take-- yet. Although I must admit, in my version, those horses look as likely to be taking advantage of the woman's distraction to take a romp as to be guarding her-- part of the risk along the road less traveled.)

Secret Gardens

Wherever I have lived, from tiny apartments with only a doorway, to where I currently am with unlimited acres, I have planted gardens. Wherever I go, I admire those belonging to others, from huge ones like Butchart Gardens in Victoria, to postage stamp-sized ones along a road I might be walking.

On the farm, I could have acres of flowers and lawns, but I don't want that, much as I might admire it for others. I prefer to look out my window and see a mixture of views from tamed to untamed. The gardens I have are small, secret gardens, each with their own purpose and feeling.

I leave room for open spaces where grasses and weeds flourish-- well not quite so lushly now with the sheep grazing near the house, but there are wildflowers in the apple orchard-- or were yesterday. And beyond that a thicket of trees perfect for a fawn to be born.

Each of my garden spaces are works in process. Whatever I have today might change tomorrow. For me, gardens are organic, meant to flow from one place to another, with little hidden spaces, but all working together to create happy homes for the plants within. I also don't want a garden that requires constant maintenance. I like gardening, I don't love to do it all the time.

Besides my plants, I enjoy creating small vignettes with rocks and shapes, meditative spaces with somewhere near to sit and contemplate. I have several rock benches that the cats favor on summer afternoons-- even if they don't pay mind to the rock combinations just beyond.

There are several distinct areas and each has its own separate purpose. On one side of the house is the vegetable garden, surrounded by climbing roses and a few flowers . It's for lettuce, beans, corn, tomatos, and squash. On the other side of the house is the flower garden where tea roses, lilies, and herbs flourish with a bit of lawn for a child to have a tea party. Off the deck to the west is the meditation garden, where the new table is a place to sit and think-- or eat dinner.

Everywhere I can, I place round rocks. For a good ten years, I have been collecting them, from the smallest ones in the creek beds to what Native Americans call Grandfather Rocks in Wyoming-- large round stones tumbled into place by glaciers. All natural round rocks might be close to round but never perfectly so-- yet. There is always the next one.

With the enclosing fences made up of squares and rectangles, a buggy rim found in the creek-- old, a bit beaten, an appropriate metaphor for life-- was the right shape to accent the Buddha as he sits on a rock in placid serenity-- reminding me to be more peaceful myself! If he doesn't do the job, Kwan Yin might as she is representative of peace and serenity.

Does any of this make me more peaceful and serene myself? I wish!

Summer Roses

Summer roses, poignantly fragrant,
rich in jeweled hues.

From bud to the dropping of petals.
their time is fleeting,
yet months later,
in the cold of winter,
still unforgettable.

I touch carefully,
wary of their thorns,
as I brush velvety petals
against my lips.




Is that why they lead
to thoughts of you?

checks and balances

Back to politics and a day before Independence Day seems a good time for a discussion of the Bush administration and the Constitution. Last week's Supreme Court decision, 5 to 3 to block military tribunals without appropriate governmental checks and balances, should be another wake up call for Americans.

Once upon a time, our government would have had to hide blatant grabs for dictatorship, but now they have had the support of many who used to claim to believe in the Bill of Rights. As for Bush, we already know he approves of dictatorships.

"You don't get everything you want. A dictatorship would be a lot easier." GW Bush (Governing Magazine 7/98)

"If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator," Bush joked.
-- CNN.com, December 18, 2000
"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it, " [Bush] said.
-- Business Week, July 30, 2001 .

One thing to understand is he wasn't joking. He has done everything he can, using religion, patriotism and fear, to establish a secret government accountable to no one. Taking a congressional permission to wage war on terrorists as carte blanche, he has apparently decided it's up to him to decide which laws he obeys. Bush hasn't vetoed a single measure because of his signing statements (750 of them) that basically reinterpret, to suit his agenda, anything he does not like. He didn't have to go to Congress to change laws. He did it by edict. (If you would like to read more on this, check out The New Yorker.)

What is equally worrisome to me is the latest Supreme Court decision, declaring Bush over stepped his authority, was by only one vote (Roberts didn't vote because he had earlier supported the administration in a lower court decision). You can bet Bush's people are right now figuring how to circumvent it. Loudly they say, we can't have public trials of these prisoners because secrets would be revealed. It aids the enemy. Any criticism of Bush is treason in a time of war, and the time of war is going to be a long one.

But what if the unspoken reason why there cannot be public trials is not secrets, which would in many cases be four years old (assuming these prisoners had any), but maybe there simply is no evidence against too many of them? I don't doubt they have some real bad people there, but what if more than a few were ordinary people caught in a net with nobody to talk to about their innocence? Who knows, who can know given the secretiveness of who they even are?

With one more judge on that court who thinks as Thomas, Scalia, Alito and Roberts, the federal power will be consolidated even more and not just federal power but 'correct' federal power. With that thinking, in short order, there might be no real democracy in the United States, just an increasingly federalized system under an executive with a party that cannot lose. Interesting that we are fighting overseas supposedly to establish democracies. Are those also to be democracies in name only?

There is a chance now to turn this. No matter how much someone may dislike Democrats (not like I am going to defend them), it's going to take Republicans losing their majority to force Bush to compromise. There is also no hope of an unbiased look at what he's been doing with Republicans in power.

A victorious president has every right to appoint judges of his own beliefs; but Bush barely won two times and he won by indicating he'd be a uniter, a compassionate conservative. How many, who voted for him, fully understood back then what that was going to mean? If he continues on his current path, he could be in a position to dictate the judicial agenda for the next 30 years. If someone is a Bush supporter, they better be sure they agree with that agenda.

For me, I believe it's a time to change this nation's direction from heading toward a dictatorship back to a balanced government. Sure that can lead to gridlock. Is that a bad thing?

If you disagree with my concern about Bush's intentions, consider this statement by Lord Acton, in a letter to Bishop Mandell Creighton, 1887. 'Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men.'

In this nation, we have believed in checks and balances. We used to believe in the Constitution; it will be interesting to see if that is still true.

Reflections

The reflections in the creek seem apropos to what I am feeling as I seem to be reflecting a lot on life, on my choices, on time, on the meaning of everything or anything. Is it the season or the heat?

Reflections bounce back from the sky and along the creek and hide what is under the surface.

I am reading a small book which claims much-- The Book of Everything, Journey of the Heart's Desire, Hakim Sanai's Walled Garden of Truth. I could not say it's really about everything but it has some worthwhile thoughts to consider-- one to a page-- like:

"If, my love, I had to describe to You the way,
I would say clearly:
Turn to life for the truth
and not to empty truths for life."

It is good to stop and reflect--
if we don't let reflections confuse us as to what is real or stop us from living.