Dreams and lack of control

 

Dreams can be forgotten, by many, or interpreted, sometimes by someone else. Once in a while, I think they need to be shared, which is what I hope to do here with dreams from this week. (image from Stencil)

I was very upset when I woke from this dream. I seemed to be planning to watch a show on television. This is something I don't actually do as I quit watching the TV a couple of years ago. 

In the dream, I had turned a show on to see what it was going to do next. It's not a show I watch in my daytime, but dreams can do what they want. It had brought in a new hero and he was very weird looking, to say the least. He was a regular man but he had what looked like spider feet out his back. Yuck and how does that make a hero???

The show then changed to cartoons, not like Disney but more like the Simpsons (again not a show I had seen other than clips from it). I thought that's ridiculous. I tried to turn it off but could not. I couldn't turn off the TV either; so I switched channels.

Another weird type show from something that seemed beyond normal. At that point, I was feeling panic when I could not stop it. That's when I woke with that panicked feeling. When we both woke, I told Ranch Boss the dream and how upsetting it had been. Normally my dreams are just fine but this was not.

He then told me his dream of the same time, right before waking. He owned a bigger ranch than we have and it was being overrun by people, who had the freedom to walk where they chose, use what they wanted. That went so far as going to build a set of homes on our land that they didn't own, but again, nothing to stop them.

We realized that both or our dreams indicated a lack of personal control. We have felt some of that feeling in our lives. Upsetting to feel you can't really control what is happening, not only in your life, country, but also the world. This is really not a good time to be an empath.

I felt a lot of panic, not unusual for me with anxiety attacks a norm for a number of  years.

But, then, something else happened, that afternoon, where on a fluke, a momentary impulse, Ranch Boss looked out our bedroom window and was aware a small rodent was in our swimming pool, with no real way for it to get out short of drowning. He rushed out there and with the net, he scooped the little critter out to dry land, where it ran off. It had been a very lucky baby ground squirrel.

So... we might not have much control over a lot of what is happening, but we can do what we can and for some being, it might be the difference between life and death. I don't have an answer for how to stop the feelings of panic at lack of control, but that little baby able to run away did help some.

do we want a partisan legal system?

   image from Stencil

Some people wondered what would happen with the jury in the recent trial of the United States' ex-president. I mean, the evidence was dicey, the key witness a known, proven liar with a grudge, but I didn't wonder because I'd been reading various legal experts who said that based on the potential jury pool, it was a done deal regardless of the fact that many have paid off people with what is known as NDAs (Nondisclosure agreements). Even our Congress has a so-called shush fund, where nobody can access it but people are paid off to keep quiet. 

So, I figured the ex-president would be found guilty. After all, that DA had run on getting him. He kept the trial in a region where there were virtually 94+% of democrats and those who wanted to see that ex in prison. Add to it a judge with the same mentality and a daughter making money working for so-called progressive causes.

The former leader was found guilty with evidently continuing a gag order (even though that was supposed to protect a jury pool, and that is past). The judge set up a date for sentencing that is 4 days before the 'other' parties convention. 

Because I had read that the judge's instructions to the jury virtually demanded they find a verdict of guilty, I made the effort to find those instructions and read them. Believe me, they are lengthy. A lot was legalese, but the key sentence that got me ... as although the jury had to find intent, they did not have to find motive. Interesting, as from what I read motive was key to why it was criminal. ... In other words, if he was doing it to protect his wife or family, not a crime. But if it was related to the election it would be. So motive suddenly didn't matter?

Could any of this be more obviously about a partisan legal system? Not to me, but for some of the country, it was a perfect trial and justice finally was served. Wait until this happens to their chosen candidate in another equally biased district in the United States.

Some say it's a banana republic where you take out your political enemies not with votes but rather with the legal system. It kind of looks that way to many of us who may not be right wingers but are in the middle. 

Will this political candidate be taken out by being put in jail? Do we have a fair judicial system or is it truly partisan? I'd say it depends on in what part of the country you live.

It's not new. Remember when one political candidate had destroyed their devices so nobody could find what was on them. Oh, couldn't charge them since they were a candidate for the highest office! How about another that they couldn't charge because they were too feeble? 

This does not just happen at the highest levels of government. Here's a little partisan story from Oregon. A farm family started a fire to destroy noxious weeds on their property but it got away from them and burned some property in federal saved land, national reserve. There were charges brought but in the local area, they were dismissed (locals understood how this could happen). Not good enough for the federal government who then brought their charges and jailed the father and son-- in a way to practically doom their chances of keeping their land. Until a President pardoned them, the very one now who is facing jail time potentially.

I read some of the pundit elites saying that this recent trial was perfect.  Others claim it proves our legal system works... Well, does it, or does it depend on from where you come...

In my opinion, there should be a non-partisan legal system, but one of the lawyers, who claimed this trial was rigged from the start, said if that jury had let the ex-president off, they'd be heckled in their homes. He knew about that because it has happened to him when he called out for Constitutional grounds as a basis... Even though, he isn't in ex-president's party nor voted for him. He just wanted Constitutional grounds to be the basis to protect us all. I don't feel very protected right now, and if you do, I can guess to which political party you belong. It might not stay that way; so think about it.

Politics-- so beware!

 Stencil mystery orb

When I thought of writing about the recent happening in the United States, I wanted time to think from where I was coming on it and what I believed I knew. I never imagined I would begin with how I am feeling right now where it comes to my country and our government. Then I had a dream last night and decided that was where to begin.

The dream was me standing on a kind of sidewalk with a concrete fence between it and what appeared to be the ocean. People were all excited, jubilant even with their eagerness to board a boat. I think it was supposed to be a ship but didn't appear quite that large to me, I watched as the boat took off.

When it was off, away from the dock, and still the people on board seemed gay and then it was apparent something went wrong with that ship and I saw it break in half, soon to sink into the water. People on the shore were horrified and tried to save the people who were drowning. They got some, but I looked in the water and those joyful people were under the water, clearly dead. End of dream.

When I woke, I wondered what that might mean in a dream as I never have fortunetelling dreams. I have a dream dictionary and found this as one possible part. "To dream that a ship has crashed or sunk suggests that you are feeling emotionally out of control. You are expressing some fear or uncertainly within your emotional state. You are afraid of losing something close to you because of certain difficulties."

I think this does represent how I feel right now where it comes to not just my country, but the world. I don't write about it here because I want to be as positive as I can. My theory has been-- what good does it do to speak negatively unless you can do something about the problem. Well, I can't change what seems to me that has gone wrong.

On the other hand, as an old woman, I've seen a lot of life go by. I know that something seems weird about what I am told I now must accept-- and I've been feeling that for a while. Who is it telling us what we must accept as truth?

It was in 2018, when my husband and I both left the political party to which we had belonged since we first could vote. We felt it was going the wrong direction. Still, could we join the other main party? Not really, which left us unaffiliated. A better place to be for now, but it doesn't change our great concerns for what's happening in terms of values and ethics in our world.

I am told that an open United States border, with just anyone coming through, is okay. No matter how many and from where.

I am told that when a woman wins a race, and she looks like a man, for me to see that means I am a bigot.

I am told that caring about a spiraling federal budget is stupid.

I am told that when one candidate tells a lie, it matters; but when another does, it's okay.

I am told that seeing one party get away with whatever they want to do is fine (destroying a Blackberry, paying someone to lie about the other candidate), again, just fine. 

I could go on but it's irritating me just thinking about it, let alone listing it all. As for what is irritating me now, I'll share that in the next blog. Be aware, this is all political. Unfortunately now, it's not just what I see that has triggered me this time-- but how really divided we appear to be as a people for what we think is okay-- not to mention those chortling with glee at what just happened and I am wondering-- so what country do I live in?

 

change of plans

 For June 1st, I had a blog all set up and then something happened in the United States that made it all not seem as important as the new kerfuffle (which does not mean small but instead just a disagreement as to what was best). 

I then wanted to write about it, but i need more time to ruminate over it as I come up with so many angles that it makes me frustrated. Hence, short blog today and more as my brain settles down on what I most want to say.

This quote though might give you a clue. I guess it's from Stalin and one of his henchmen. "Show me the man and I'll find you the crime." 

More on this as it comes to me.