Passion or an obsession from 2005

The first of my old blogs after I sorted through them before losing internet. I found enough to cover every Saturday until September 4th. I might or might not be able to  put out some things midweek, but it will depend on getting internet and at the farm, that means cell coverage, which is not in the house at all. Will it be in the vacation trailer? If so, it'll not be a lot. I am taking my water based oils and acrylics; so might do some painting, which doesn't require internet :)

The below picture might be where the trailer ends up... All undecided for now. The mobile home you see beyond could be an eventual more permanent solution when we visit. It was my parents' and they both died in it. Might I also??? Life is so uncertain. It needs a LOT of renovation before that can happen and this year, with all the needed farm work, that's not happening to turn it into a tiny house.

As for this topic, in some ways, it's an old one but then we see people getting too close to wildlife with that desire to be one with them and it's not really that old... Well, that and how we separate passion from obsession for ourselves.

Passion or Obsession?

I have been reading Grizzly Maze the story of Timothy Treadwell's fatal obsession with Alaskan bears-- in particular grizzlies. It has made me think about the whole thing of when passion crosses the line and becomes obsession. Is one healthy and one not? If so, what converts passion into obsession? 

 

 The dictionary says obsession is preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling. Passion follows along the same line, even to the state of being in pain but doesn't say it's unreasonable, but then there is the Passion of the Christ. Was that passion or an obsession-- certainly if we used commonsense, as we think of it, it'd be an obsession that brought Christ to the cross. Maybe obsession is what takes someone into a realm of creativity or action that changes worlds whereas passion just leads to the bed-- figuratively speaking. 

 

Treadwell certainly had an obsessive desire to be with bears, to become one with bears (something he actually succeeded in albeit not quite as he had doubtless planned). Still he lived his life exactly as he chose, lived it right on the edge and while it eventually did kill him, was his a fitter end than overdosing on a Malibu beach? Perhaps his obsession saved him from mediocrity even if it did shorten his lifespan. If he had sat at home where it was safe, read books on grizzlies but not gone out to live amongst them, might that have been called a passionate interest? 

 

The bear experts have fits to imply that Treadwell did any good but is it any less valid to do what he did than sit on the sidelines measuring and observing? Treadwell lived a vibrant, passionate life and used all the tools at his disposal to maintain doing that. Did it accomplish anything? Does anything in the end? A life well lived-- even if a bit unusual-- might be the only real accomplishment anyone can claim. "The reasonable man adapts himself to the conditions that surround him... The unreasonable man adapts surrounding conditions to himself... All progress depends on the unreasonable man." George Bernard Shaw 

 

There is nothing reasonable about obsession, you can't argue with it or talk someone out of it-- at least not until they are ready to release it, but have obsessions been why we had a Van Gogh who painted even though no one bought his work? Is obsession why we have electricity? Is an obsession why we had Lewis and Clark or Columbus or so many others who set out on an exploration with no certainty they would return? How about Crazy Horse or Sitting Bull? Are great deeds logical? Was the concept of a Round Table and Arthur's Knights a passionate quest or an obsessive one? As best we know it, it led to Arthur's death and failure of the experiment-- except the dream grew possibly into something more than it ever was in history and even today lingers on in men's hearts. Can great deeds be attained by acting sensibly? 

 

Is a life lived sensibly superior to one that bucks the odds and reaches out for that obsession even if they fail? Certainly for every person who had an obsession that led to a medical breakthrough, there were thousands or more who had it and it led to madness or an old age of disappointment. I have experienced more than a few passions in my life given my nature but I believe-- at this point-- I have only had one obsession. It definitely wasn't sensible or logical. Even today I think on it and my blood rises, my heart beats faster. I don't necessarily regret that experience, but did it get me anywhere to go through it? I don't believe I handled it well but was that the fault of the obsession or my being unprepared to handle it given we live in a culture that stresses mediocrity as the safest venue for anything. Risk implies failure as part of its nature. Obsession is risky. When I began writing this, I was convinced obsession was bad and passion good. Now I wonder if obsession might be a gift we don't appreciate enough. I think I may do some more research on the topic...