by Diane: Mini-art respite from caregiving #12: Life inteferring with art making

By Diane

A few days with minimal mini-art respites, I am easily diverted to other easier to do activities like cutting back the dahlias for their second bloom of the season. Even writing a blog is easier than getting started again. 

And I am more visually inclined than verbal. When my Fisherman Hubby showed me how he put the painting I was doing as a cover illustration for an update on his book, SCIENTIFIC ANGLER, A STEELHEAD FISHING MANUAL, I get the idea he does not want to share his knowledge in this way. Still easier to go back and make the man in the painting, the grandson who loves fishing. So where do I go from here in art making? 

The heat has driven away the swallows I liked painting earlier. Do I continue to work on Fisherman Hubby's fishing manual even against his wishes? What else could I do more meaningful? Maybe splashing paint on a big piece of paper and see what it suggests ?? Thursday, July 30, We had our second visit with Lumina Hospice nurse and first visit from physical therapist. 

Friday, July 31st I mailed a much labored over an appeal to a declined health insurance claim. My heart is dancing in joy to have that behind me. It was hot outside but the air conditioning made the house comfortable. Yet when the hired help had to sit down wiping her head with a wet wash cloth instead of working, I was thrust into the role of not only care-giving for Fisherman Hubby but also wanting to insist she go see a doctor. This experience was the last time for visits from the in home care-giving company. I not only canceled mostly because my expectation that Fisherman Hubby would like to receive help did not materialize. When I cancelled the service, I told the manager my concerns inspite of my scruples. Her condition might be life threatening and I wondered if I would have to call 911. I fear she will lose her job after working 23 years. Maybe she was not paid enough and she did not get a health insurance benefit. She said she did not like going to doctors but I doubt that she could afford them. 

Saturday, August 1, I felt exhausted and not quit ready to start a new painting journey. So I made and mailed a birthday card. Then once again for a few minutes painted the eyes of the father looking into the eyes of a child just learning to fish. Sunday, I am delighted with company. Short visits are sweet and the day is perfect. I enjoy the rest from having to make phone calls to resolve health issues. I have time to paint. I am in the process of making plans to have a painting friend come to paint Saturday. 

Monday, Fisherman Hubby didn't sleep well and his VPap mask is leaking. Hospice is having a respiratory therapist come to check the fit of his mask and replenish supplies. 

Puttered in our garden and watered. The heat has made the lettuce bitter. I am wordless today. The changes in Fisherman Hubby are dramatic. He sits trying to keep taking in fluids but very slowly. A meal is 1/2 a Hasty Freeze King berger with sauce, lettuce, cheese, bacon, and hamburger in squashed bun. A few bites of maple bar, some watermelon balls, and of course oatmeal for breakfast. Of course he has to have coke and coffee and hot chocolate and cookies. Pills taken with applesauce. A diet to fill him and die for. At this point I am taming my need to make it healthier.