making a life

by Rain Trueax

sunset April 30th from Casa Espiritu

With the self-distancing and quarantining going on, there has been talk about how introverts handle such times better than extroverts, which does make sense. We tend to need a lot of time alone even when there isn't a virus running around. BUT I began to realize, as a lifelong introvert, that with this need for isolation, it's bothering me too.

see what's at the top of that tree (which we think is a neighbor's cedar)

In defining what introverts and extroverts are, I think there are misunderstandings-- for instance thinking introverts are shy. They can be, but so can extroverts. Being extrovert or introvert depends on from where you get your energy- and what sucks it away. The USA mostly favors extroverts as they make clubs, organizations, and even businesses work with large groups possible with excitement. Many celebs claim to be introverts, but they don't have to make the wheels turn other than their own through creativity. I was a little disappointed in the dictionary definitions I found:

Extrovert-- 1 : one whose attention and interests are directed wholly or predominantly toward what is outside the self  2 : a gregarious and unreserved person.

Introvert-- 1. one whose attention and interests are directed toward one's own thoughts and feelings 2 : A reserved or shy person 

  from Merriam-Webster

There are a lot of articles that are far better as they expand and actually get closer to what I believe to be true-- that it's more about energy-- what makes us stronger and what weakens us. That definition fits my own experiences. Where I am reserved, in that I won't push myself into anybody or situation, I also am not shy and very much enjoy relationships with others.

So, yes, I do fine with being alone, but I realized that moving to make a new place home, so suddenly and with no real preparation. I need friends and don't have access to making them with the quarantine. My friends are all in Oregon. Who knows when making them here will be possible. I felt depressed as I had been putting off

getting into groups where making friends is possible. Now it'll again have to wait. I miss having someone female to have coffee and talk or go to a museum. Just sitting on the patio and discussing woman things is lacking.

This shocking black swan taught me one lesson. Don't put things off. In my defense, we thought we'd be going back to Oregon sooner than we will be. We hadn't thought this was to be our full time home-- yet. It was supposed to be a future plan. We hadn't brought everything with us that we would have if we had known what was coming. Life changed.

To have this refuge, I have to be grateful. There are two fenced yards. One is off the dining room and it gives the cats and us security from what is beyond. There are chairs, a table, flowers, a fountain, and herbs. Beyond that is a gate that leads to a swimming pool with more flowers, table, chairs, and trees. When we bought this home over 20 years ago, it was to be a vacation retreat. That was a lucky choice that we have now in a time of transition.

We also feel lucky we decided to put in all new windows to make the house better in the heat-- even when we didn't expect to be here for it. 

With its privacy and desert surroundings, it is a great place, one we have enjoyed for years, but what is missing for me are friends. It takes time to build community and that can't be started (other than online) in a time like this. I feel extremely lucky that my brother spent a week with us here. It is something I think about often with how great that was. More friends might come down to visit. I hope for that, but still need some friends here.

We have to be careful with quarantining other than when going out is essential. We are in

the vulnerable group. Even when the vaccine is here, it'll be a while before it might seem safe for everyone or even available. My allergy to the flu shots will make me concerned, but I feel I'll have to eventually do it and take that risk.

For now, we are doing what we can to strengthen our immune systems, hoping that if we do

get it, our bodies can fight it off. Now is a time to make the best of where we are-- Actually, every day is the time to do that as we only get the time we are in to be sure will be. 

One thing that's proven good for us is something I might've mentioned our habit begun in January of reading from a book out loud in the mornings (which might be afternoons as the heat has come suddenly and Wednesday was over 100F.) It's been a good habit to share something and then talk about it. We have almost finished our second book and now have to decide on the third one. All have been and will be non-fiction with ideally short chapters to make breaks easy.

Photos are from this home and the cactus that give us joy as well as that we get from all the denizens with which we share it. More baby quail but no photos of them.

 

Finally, i have been playing jigsaw puzzles and creating them. This is the link to one. You can choose how many pieces you want by clicking on the box depending on how much time you have. You will find out what it is as you work it. One clue-- it's from this piece of desert.

  https://jigex.com/n7ey