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Saturday, November 30, 2019

tribes

by Rain Trueax


"Tribe-- a social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader." Dictionary definition
Do you think much about tribes and what they mean? There have been times in history where you belonged to a tribe or you died. Breaking the rules of the tribe could send someone into a solitary life where it was impossible to survive. An example was the Apaches where an unfaithful woman was banished and had her nose cut off in punishment. How do I know about this? -- Research and regressions... Tribes are cultural and not just Native American or African. They also are not just about friendships. It's more about a common purpose, I think.

In today's world, people tend to move around; so communities aren't static tribes; they might think they are with those moving in and out. Tribes might be about careers, but when it is, the tribal connection often ends when the job does. Churches and political parties are the same way-- share the beliefs or you're out the door-- by choice or otherwise. I have not been much of a joiner, but clubs could provide a tribal experience. They require having a common interest, which could last a lifetime like say gardening.

I've been in tribes. I've sought to be in tribes. I've wanted out of them. I've looked at them longingly from a distance.Today, I have no tribe as such. 

Writers can benefit from forming a kind of loose tribe for emotional support and to benefit sales and creativity. I don't necessarily write like the people I might like who are writers.  I think genre forms distinct tribes-- like non-fiction not meshing with romance, etc. I'd like being more connected to other writers but haven't put the energy into going to meetings to change that. The writers I know are spread out across the country, but some put the effort into meeting and make the effort.

I think tribal awareness, by whatever name it's called, begins very early when we are children. The first is our family-- extended along with their friends. Then we head to school and try to find a tribe, which is called a clique. Without one, school can be a lonely experience. 

This is on my mind now because currently I do not have a tribe. Writing tends to be a solitary pursuit as you can't write with a lot of activity around you-- it distracts. Some writers do manage it through conferences and workshops, etc.

As an old woman, I am thinking maybe I need a tribe-- but where to find one? What do you think about tribes-- in one or not?

 Sunset from our home November 27th.

5 comments:

Annie said...

Interesting question! Tribes (or clans, depending on your definition or perspective) can be supportive or restrictive, I also have at different times wanted in or out of one. Ultimately I think my strategy has been to belong to several so as not to feel too tightly defined or restricted. I am single and raised a couple of kids by myself without the emotional (and otherwise) support of another adult. It was arduous and isolating, not fun. Not having intimate or family supports in place I sought social supports and over time have been moderately successful. The drawback of social (or ‘tribal’) support is that there is little commitment such as in a marriage and the support can sometimes feel tenuous and contingent. Hence belonging to multiple tribes. In my old age I am finding that family connections are also tenuous; we are separated by geographic distance due to family members needing to be mobile in order to find work etc, and that leads to diverging lives and less emotional involvement. I once thought family was forever but now not so much. My tribal connections may be tenuous but at the moment at least they are geographically local. With social media one can develop tribal connections that are not restricted to locality, but that doesn’t really work for me. Other people seem to have far more success with such tribal connections, your mileage may vary, as they say. If you are feeling a need for more tribal connection I can’t really advise on how to go about it other than to say dabble until you find what is right for you, and perhaps don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Rain Trueax said...

The idea of more than one might be good. When I was in tribes was when I had children to raise and they helped with that. I think for those with families, it's a big benefit especially if you don't have biological relatives nearby or they are for some reason not working for the kids or you. I am considering options now to not be so isolated and be connected to those with common goals

Brig said...

Though not a single parent, and having had a lot of family tribe support over the years, I think Annie is spot on.

Diane Widler Wenzel said...

I love my time to myself to be the most creative I can be. I love having a new painting exhibit to hang at the Albany Public Library in January so it is easier to say I am too busy for FB groups at present.
I also belong to a faith group as a friend rather than a practicing member meaning I have less responsibilities and can selectively decide what is a win win involvement and contribution to their community (tribe).
As I get older more of my network have passed on, so realizing I want and need some contact with others, I need to put effort into interacting with others.

Rain Trueax said...

I was not thinking of FB groups as what suits a tribe, which to me has to be physically there. FB groups or blogs or any of these things don't demand responsibility at all. People come in, don't comment or do but it's not really something they have to do to stay in the 'group'. Social media might be part of why people belong to less real tribes which do demand accountability and we get spoiled by the ease of noninvolvement/involvement with a social media connection.