Comments, relating to the topic, are welcome, add a great deal to a blog, but must be in English, with no profanity, hate-filled insults, or links (unless pre-approved).




Saturday, June 15, 2019

Transitions

by Rain Trueax

Rain Rock Casino-- Yreka, California

Holy Mackerel, what is going on with time? It seems we just got home with a blog to share but now, time to write another one. Ack. 

Mostly the days after we got home have been about unpacking (a lot goes between homes) and then rearranging the house. When we are gone (with current agreement), our son lives here sometimes with his boys. He takes care of the livestock; and although in town, he has a duplex, he tends to be out here the most due to the needs of the animals. He then, of course, arranges things to suit himself. We come home and have to arrange it to suit ourselves. This business of sharing a home may not work long term for him or us. We are all feeling our way through it. One way or another, change has to come.

When we moved to this farm in 1977, my parents put their mobile home on the property. It is where they both died years later (1980 for him and 1997 for her). Because they had been there on a family/hardship permit, when Mom died, we had to make it no longer livable or take it  off. Mom had left behind some cats, who didn't want to live with us or our cats. We turned the mobile home into a 'studio', which meant no kitchen, and then let them live out their lives in their home with our help. Many years later when they died, we kind of left it be, without any idea what to do with it.

historic Rain Rock in Fort Jones

Now I've been thinking of turning the now dilapidated mobile into a tiny home for us where we'd spend a little over half the year at the farm, half at the Arizona home, where we could enjoy both homes but don't need big houses either places. Just thinking, for now, as that might not work. 

IF we want to get a permit to make the mobile into a home, we have two choices. One is the aged/parent home. The drawback to that is what happened when my parents died-- any investment in the home is negated-- and it'd take quite an investment to make the mobile livable today. It'd want a good kitchen, tear out the tiny bedroom and make the living room larger, maybe shift how it's oriented. 

A LOT to consider but our son is not ready to totally take over the farm with his full time job. Another complication is he'd have to show an intent to make the farm a business under his management. We've done that for forty years, but to get a permit for a tiny home probably means he'd have to justify the need for additional help and be the main rancher for the cattle and sheep or maybe mostly the cattle since he prefers them. This is an issue between us, him and local government. The advantages would be it's already on the farm water and septic tank. We'd be handy for helping in the seasons we'd be needed.


Saguaro blossom Tucson AZ

Maybe the house in Arizona, much as we love it, is too far away from the other place we love-- especially as we get even older. Ranch Boss said he'd like to do the farm work another five years. That's possible since he is still strong and healthy. But the older people get, the harder it is to know what is coming down the road. We have taken longer and longer to make the drive, but it's still hard on our bodies and emotions. Aging is a very real factor to consider in anything.

Looking from the creek to the barns in Oregon

So, my back still has me crippling around, but I am happy with the Oregon house and our adjustments with the art. When we were gone, for his son to use, our son moved a desk into the living room where our bookcases used to be. We told him leave it when he offered to move it back. I like it this way, and we think we'll turn the bedroom where Ranch Boss used to work into a second guest room and he'll work in the living room, which will work  now that he's no longer doing consulting work-- that used to involve a LOT of phone calls. Neither of us watch much TV; so this could work.


We have a lot of transitions ahead with no definite idea of what will end up happening. Just one of those times. Much of life goes along pretty steadily but there are always times of great transitions. I believe old age involves more than one of those.

More on the books next Saturday :).

4 comments:

Diane Widler Wenzel said...

You are ahead of us on thinking out future plans. Looking forward to visiting soon once you are really ready.

Rain Trueax said...

Next week will be dicey for Paul as the guy cut his hay and you said Don has a doctor appointment. We may have to do it in a morning when we see how it's going. Paul also has to go over to Lebanon to pick up a trailer. One thing after another.

Caroline Clemmons said...

We only have one home but are going through similar tough decisions. Hero’s Parkinson’s has recently been worse, my health is not great. Youngest daughter wants she and us to sell our houses and buy one a bit larger with the “mother in law” suite at one end and we’d share the kitchen and live together. We are holding off a decision and hoping for miracles. Maybe we should starry buying lottery tickets. 😉

Rain Trueax said...

Those are even tougher choices, Caroline. I told our son that we don't want him to feel that if we live in that mobile home, that it's so he can take care of us someday. I will go to a retirement center before I do that. It works for some to have the kids take care of the elders, but just doesn't suit me. With old age though, who knows what will come down the road. Years back we looked at a house that had a mother-in-law level and we did consider that for my mom. We ended up not having the option as this place didn't sell.