letting go

by Rain Trueax
 

 bye bye

Okay, to start-- I do know inanimate objects don't have feelings and are not real. I know this logically. BUT, it's hard for me sometimes to know it emotionally. 

Although we don't name our vehicles, still the truck in the photo has meant a lot to my life for over 14 years. 

“If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”

Socrates

In 2004, we had bought it, a Silverado, diesel, with a Duramax (whatever that means). It had only been owned by us and had taken us over 226,000 miles.
Before heading south in December, with some concern regarding its age and mileage, we had it inspected by mechanics. They said it's in great shape and could easily go another 100,000 miles. Some are still driving them with over 400,000. Reassured, we took off. It did great heading right through the heart of California to Tucson-- 1200 miles pulling the trailer and carrying us and our four cats-- plus stuff, of course, with zero problems-- at least from it.

Down here, reality set in...


Those next 100,000 miles were not likely to be trouble-free. I have walked from a lot of stalled cars in my years. It's not a fun thing to do. Some of ours never gave us a warning ahead of time before they just stopped-- and not in convenient places. I remember walking to a stranger's home and asking to use their phone. I remember taking rides from strangers. Those were years when there was no such thing as a cell phone. However, where we live in Oregon, where we like to go with our vehicles, there often still is not cell phone coverage. Reality is this is not something I want to repeat at 75. 

Here's the thing, we ask a lot of our vehicles with pulling a trailer-- either travel trailer or loaded with tons of hay. We go into wilderness areas where nobody is around. Although, over the years, Ranch Boss has repaired a lot of vehicles, carries a lot of tools, that's not fun either. In small mountain or desert towns, parts aren't always available, and it can mean a lot of delays when something goes wrong. Even when you can get a towing company to come take your vehicle to a garage (had that happen twice in my life with Astros) riding in one of those is no fun-- even when necessary.

So, despite our love of this truck, confidence that it had been one of the good ones, we began researching what kind of vehicle to buy if we traded it in. Where we had been considering getting a bigger trailer or fifth-wheel, it made sense to put the horse before the cart and get a newer vehicle to pull whatever we might get-- if anything.

Pretty much, we came to the conclusion that we wanted what we had only with less miles. What we learned is new ones have very cool features these days (takes getting educated to figure out how to use them). The improvements not only can make traveling more comfortable but also safer. Being a Luddite myself, I worried some about all those computerized features, but they all have them now (and I guess so did our beloved truck-- just not as many).

The final decision was made at the end of February when we decided the right truck was at a dealership in Sierra Vista (90 miles south of Tucson). It was a two-year old Silverado 3500 with about 13,000 miles.  We needed to look at it but felt pretty confident it would be the right one.

Well, to be honest, we weren't going to look at it. Ranch Boss was as I know zero about such things. For a while, I debated not going with him and staying here with the four cats (who I hate to leave), but in the end, I felt it'd be better if I went. Such transactions often are not smooth. I did not want to sit in a dealership on those uncomfortable chairs; so we took a motel room a block or so from the dealer.

Maybe some get excited at a new vehicle, but I felt sad at giving up a truck that had carried us to so many great places and times. These trucks are work machines. That one took us into the mountains, to the desert, let me paint on the back of the tailgate, carried those bails of hay, and I had many great memories from Oregon to Montana to the east and Arizona to the south. Many great experiences, including one year sleeping it its canopy and waking to listen to the wolves on Slough Creek. I literally hated the idea of letting it go. It felt like it was real in some way (yes, I know it wasn't). I had to hope it finds more great times with someone new, who won't need so much from it, maybe shorter drives and hauling around kids. Maybe. I really don't like to think any other way.

The experience with buying the new Silverado was pretty painless for me, until the next day when we headed north, less than 10 miles, and the "engine" light came on... It turned out it was a weakness in that model. We headed right back to the dealer. With the truck brand new sold and still under warranty, it was not our problem (other than not getting home to the cats-- but I'd planned for extra water and food with the possibility of something delaying us). When they tried to read the code, at first, they got nothing. That meant I was stuck in the dealer waiting room while they figured it out. 

We got our motel room back for one more night, got a rental car, and by evening of the second day, the truck was back. It turned out it was a fan speed, solenoid failure. We probably could have driven it to Tucson, worrying all the way, but better the dealer where we had just bought it took care of it. We headed north the next morning with a lot of new gimmicks to figure out and seemingly a smooth driving truck.

I do have a teeny concern since we had once had an Astro van that was a lemon (after many years of great Astros). This one though had its total service record with nothing having gone wrong.

On our last Astro, it had steering lock up on our way south

from Sedona driving down out of the mountains. Fortunately, Ranch Boss was driving it and wrestled it to the side, turned it around and drove it back to Flagstaff to a dealership (ruined a Memorial Day weekend), and got it fixed. That one had several major failures that way. The last one was a total stop on our narrow country road, where we got a ride from someone we knew as we walked along the shoulder. It was our last Astro and the beginning of a truck love affair, which has yet to end. I just hope the new truck is as good to us as the one we left in Sierra Vista-- sadly left, at least on my end.

I did not know that our trip from Oregon would be the last one for us with the 2004. I just hope someone else will love it as much as we have.  It was a damned good truck, and I shed some tears over saying goodbye to it. Call me nuts but it's how it is.

Next week, I'll write something about the new truck with its photo. This one was dedicated to our good buddy and the great times we had with it. In finding photos of it, I came across wonderful photos of the beautiful spots we'd been with it. Good memories. I hope we can build as good of ones with the new one-- who also shall remain unnamed by us other than truck or Silverado :)