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Saturday, September 29, 2018

mystery

by Rain Trueax 

The reason why I write paranormals, despite not having a clear genre where my work fits, is my curiosity as to what might be, a belief that we don't know all we think we do, and my own experiences-- along with the challenge of exploring mystery with characters where it's imaginary ...or is it? 

Mythologies, the stories through which each culture determines the meaning of life and often rules for behavior, don't necessarily have to be imaginary. They could be a remembered history and are part of human life on this planet. In human cultures, some mythologies are more accepted than others; but if it isn't in history or happening now, it is mythology and fits into the world of the paranormal-- that which (despite arguments to the contrary) we cannot test and prove by something currently out there. It is a fascinating realm for those open to wonder and open to going where questions take them.

From as early as I can remember, I felt a connection to something that wasn't visible. As a small child, it was an imaginary playmate, who I named, and that worried my parents. I finally stopped seeing him, maybe because it was not okay in my world. I don't actually remember what he looked like-- mostly my parents' stories about what I said back then.

I read a lot through the growing up years, all sorts of books. My dreams were (and still are) vivid and full of symbols that sometimes I can't interpret. They are why I avoid horror stories at all costs. I only put into my mind what I don't mind seeing again at night in a dream.



In my late teens, I began to wonder if religion could provide the answers to my questions about the meaning of life. Because I loved the imagery and mythology, I became a Catholic. Later that morphed into becoming an Evangelical, in a little country church.

Religion claims it makes sense of what is out there. From my experience, I believe it provides community, feels good to have that kind of connection to what is believed to be an age-old divine system, to be with others claiming they know for sure, but in the end, it didn't work for me. The problem was that I always had questions. Questions are only okay in a religion if one accepts the answers given. If you keep asking-- not so much. So, after years of belonging to a system, I began a time of solitary explorations, going wherever the questions took me.

My fascination with religions led to researching Wicca though I have had no desire to be a witch-- not so much because I do not believe it's possible but more my reluctance to want to impact my life or someone else's due to a spell (even in a good way).

From childhood, I knew about Ouija boards. My mom said her mother got into them for a while and they worked for her, but they did not for my mom and her sisters. She thought maybe they were protected by their innocence. At any rate, they had no appeal for me as they are about an outside force moving to get answers. When we lived in Tucson, a friend there got into them to try and find her future. The answers she got weren't good. She asked me to join her with the board. I said no. 

For quite a few years I did Tarot cards and still have my decks though use them less often. I have found they can help me with a plot sometimes or a character's motivation. I have not seen them as fortunetelling but more helping the muse or my own subconscious get through to me. I've though avoided reading runes even though I also find them beautiful. Someone once told me to use them, you need to offer something or they can turn on you. I don't need that lol.

During my time of exploring, I visited a few psychics but never actually found I got anything that conclusive to prove they were connecting to an outside force, but the ones I went to all asked for white light protection and only the good should come through.

For a few years, I read a lot about astrology and did readings using the computer. I though am not that convinced astrology has definitive answers.

Along with this, I read books on what people claimed to have experienced and seen, including on the subject of reincarnation. Could it be possible a person might live again? Would I even want to? Well, whatever someone might want to believe, truth is truth.... Or is it?

For years, still today, I had a 'memory' of a man in a hotel room, who either was shot or had a heart attack. I see the hotel room, the suit he was wearing, but have no idea of whether I'd gotten it from a movie or whether it was what some call a past life memory. Mostly, I had not forgotten but more or less dismissed it, as I had with my unseen playmate-- until reading these books about people being somewhere they hadn't been-- and yet knowing the roads and what they were about to see (the actor Billy Crystal has such a story). 

One summer, determined to find answers on reincarnation, I did a series of deep meditations which are supposed to help you travel to your own past lives. I got six stories through that summer, all of which could have been possible-- or not (I am after all a writer). At the end of the summer, I visited a hypnotherapist who specialized in past life retrievals. In those hours with her, I got the ones I'd gotten and one more. 

When she and I talked afterward, I said well maybe I created the memories like writing a story. She asked if I cry when I write my stories. Some writers do but I do not. She felt I was having a legitimate retrieval and told me about how she had used past life memories in her own life. She also saw that the ones I'd gotten fit into a karmic pattern. Maybe so.

My dreams often encompass places I've never been but can the brain create those with no help from a real memory? I don't have an answer. Some of my dreams have been amazing for how they fit into my life. Others just float along with no particular meaning. I've used some in books.

Next week about how this kind of thing evolves into a book-- or more than one where it comes to mystery.

9 comments:

Annie said...

Some things are just not scientifically provable so we are left either believing in unprovable things or acknowledging ignorance/mystery. Acknowledging ignorance is hard for most of us, we mostly want To Know. I think it is a fascinating topic for a writer.

Tabor said...

I also had a friend but cannot remember their face or gender. They were just nice to have around and we played together for many hours..

Diane Widler Wenzel said...

My take on the paranormal: Supernatural beings we have in myths are real in the sense that they fill a REAL psychological need to explain what we cannot with something we can physically measure. Certainly we cannot go back in time to measure but in literature memories can be great for play.

Celia said...

My invisible playmate was a little white dog. He showed up when I was two right after my sister was born, no surprise, and was gone by the time I was four. It worried my parents too, parents worry too much.

Rain Trueax said...

Interesting that so many of us had the invisible playmates. :)

Brig said...

My friend was a horse, we spent a lot of time together when I was a little kid.

Rain Trueax said...

Seen or unseen by others, Brig?

Joared said...

A few years ago before she died, my last living lifelong friend and I discussed how we each had an invisible imaginary friend when we used to play together during preschool years. I can vaguely recall our sitting on the floor opposite each other, sharing this confidence and speaking to our imaginary friends in the presence of each other. Mine was located in one of my feet and I think hers was also located in a different body area of hers. In our actual life we each had a sibling, mine a decade older brother, she had a slightly younger sister. We both had other playmates living nearby so weren’t lonesome.

We didn’t recall when our “friends” first appeared, but would be interesting to know, and what was going on in our family lives. We didn’t recall when these “friends” ceased to be consciously present in our lives, but neither of us had forgotten them. They had no names or physical description. I tend to believe the mystery associated with such experiences is associated with what is going on in our lives, psychologically related as are many unexplained visualizations, etc. — given what is known now about the effects of brain function, chemical variations in the brain — including various hallucinations and some of the end of life descriptions. Explanations for the unexplained down through the centuries have often been attributed to complex imaginative sources only to be revealed to have quite simple explanations as more knowledge has been acquired.

Rain Trueax said...

Interesting, Joared. I think mine was because of living at the end of a gravel road with no children nearby with whom to play. I spent a lot of time outdoors for play. My brother is 2 1/2 years younger than me and he and i played together when he got old enough. I wonder in my case if I realized it worried my parents and it's why I stopped but then I wonder if he's still around as what I call my muse today.

Children do fit what is expected. My daughter's two each made comments about their last lifetime when they were little, say 2 or 3. It was just casual, and my daughter and son-in-law didn't make a big deal out of it. Eventually, the children no longer remembered.

The lady who did my hypnotherapy session had such past life memories from her daughter and it had helped her explain their current relationship.

It's all myster