For most of us, we have those things, that never in a zillion years would we want to repeat (unless reincarnation is true and we end up having to go through them again in some future lifetime because we didn't learn what we needed). We have learned (hopefully) something from each experience, and it can both color our future in ways that make it better-- or not so much.
Many examples of those things that I'd not want to go through again come from the life on this little ranch with the livestock. If I think back at all, even to write this, there are moments that are very depressing to recall. The ranch has given us great joys, and the knowledge of dreams fulfilled. It also though has forced us to face what most don't have to, as anyone who raises livestock knows. The word unpredictable comes to my mind about so many of the negative experiences. The who would have thought! kind of moments.
I won't repeat them here, as that would be negative for me and not help readers as so often when we hear of someone else's tragedy, we take on their grief. Usually we have enough of our own that it's not good to hang onto that of others.
Still for the writer, those moments are there to use when the setting requires an emotional connection that feels real between the writer and the characters, which hopefully someday leads to the same thing between the characters and a future reader.
In terms of day to day living though, I go with what Eckhart Tolle has said in his book The Power of the Now and other places.
Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.As a woman, I try to live in the here and now. As a writer, I pull from all my life experiences, the blessings and the times that felt like curses. Everything is used in the search for the right words, but then has to be left behind again in my daily living. As a human, learning to really let go, to live in the moment, can be one of our toughest lessons. As a writer, nothing is released forever ;).
Life is the dancer and you are the dance.
What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.