Delusions and illusions

One of the things that makes life tough is separating what is real from what is illusion. It's not easy. We read something in the paper and think-- wow, that's neat... right up until two days later when we find it might not have been all there was to the story-- the real hero? You know, whatever the truth of who broke in the door, the media has the hero they want and convincing them otherwise won't be easy no matter what really happened.

Confusion over what really happened is more of a problem if we are following stories live-- or if we believe these commentators really know something. It also happens to us if we believe fiction in books, television, or film has reality to it and then wonder why our lives don't match up.

curious about me down along the creek

Ronni Bennett had a story this week about an eighty year old woman and if you haven't read it, this woman's viewpoint has been mine a lot recently: a sexually liberated woman.

Actually I didn't have to wait to be 80 for that. I think I got liberated in my fifties. When I began painting nudes-- particularly men... and then sculpting both sexes without clothing, it was not okay to do it and I really didn't care. Now I write romance novels-- again not okay and mine have sex in them. Oh my.

Well, liberation isn't really ours unless we take it rather than wait around for it to be given. If it was given, doesn't that mean the real power is retained by those who gave it?

a cover design I won't be using

I have noticed that what she wrote she is enjoying so am I-- admiring healthy, physically attractive people mostly of the young adult sort. When I am out somewhere, I admire the way they move, the beauty of a graceful body. I don't think-- oh I wish that was me as at one time it was. I just appreciate it now because as she wrote-- it stirs the juices. It doesn't require having sex to be a sexual person. It requires being alive to sexuality.

look in the shadows and you'll see it

Something happened this week to remind me of illusions versus delusions when I thought I was saving a hummingbird from our two cats. I heard it whirring outside my window as I was writing and then saw two cats looking up at it with a bit of a mystified or was that ready to pounce look.

Since we have saved two hummers this year, I was very upset when the third was killed last week. So I was not about to let this one be killed. I yelled my mean mama scream and ran out which didn't impress the cats as they kept looking up as the 'hummer' sucked from the nectar of the columbine. I grabbed a hose and sprayed the columbines with water which immediately caused the cats to head off.

After I had cats inside, I decided to see if I could photograph the hummer at the columbine. It was when I discovered it wasn't a hummingbird at all. It was a type of moth. It whirred its wings like a hummingbird, had the look of one; but it was definitely not which probably explains the mystified look on the cats' faces as they didn't try to jump it. They had yet to decide what it was.

I'm unsure but think it's a variety of sphinx moth and maybe one called hummingbird hawk moth. None of the photos I see online quite look like it. It does though have a proboscis that can get the nectar and some favor the columbines

This business of deciding what something is is part of the dilemma we face right now in our country but also in the world in a time of more division, rancor and paranoia than I have ever seen in my nearly 70 years.

The Republicans are trying once again to bring Benghazi into some kind of story that can impeach Obama and destroy Hillary's chances for ever being presidency. Listening to a pundit like Huckabee, you'd think they found a smoking gun. They have taken an illusion with some facts-- four people were murdered that night-- and turned it into a delusion that they believe because they live in their own bubble.

Despite what Fox, Issa, WND, Limbaugh, etc. say, I have seen nothing new about the Benghazi story. I thought maybe there was but heard the testimony of what was called a whistle blower. It was more that he felt wronged by being critical of no military sent in and then demoted (whether for that reason or another who can know). So he's mad but has he said anything we didn't know? Not from what I saw.

Yes, Benghazi represented a tragic loss of life. So does the war in Iraq and Afghanistan not to mention elsewhere around the world. Yes, a request for backup was decided couldn't get there fast enough to save the lives that were lost. Libya was at that time a very violent place (watch the documentary-- How far to the front? for how Tim Hetherington was killed there). But that isn't enough for the right wing who need some way to impeach Obama or derail Hillary. They say we must make sure this never happens again. Do they believe what they say or just expect their loyal following will?  When they push us to more wars do they think about the lives lost in them? 

Anybody in Benghazi that night knew it was dangerous. Three of the men were hired protection. The ambassador clearly understood the risks. Could he and his security force have been protected? Only by staying in Tripoli maybe. Christopher Stevens was killed by smoke in what should have been a safe place during an attack. Those things happen. But it's not enough that it was a tragedy. It has to be a conspiracy.


The right wing is going nuts with conspiracy talk. Obama is trying to destroy our economy, buying up all the bullets, lying about his birth place, secret Muslim, gay marriage, etc. You just think they've let go of a delusion only to see it crop up again.

This talk is not about improving the world or our country. It is about stirring up every wingnut out there. This week Farm Boss was down to our rural store and heard someone, he'd never seen there before, spouting off about Obama and how he's trying to destroy our country, etc. etc. He said he thought about saying something but wisely kept his mouth shut. I told him later that it might even have been a government person looking for militia people out here-- and they most likely are out here as I've seen their flags a few places, you know, the yellow-- don't tread on me.

I think with most Americans it's a good time to sit back a bit to let it all shake out while hopefully we increase security budgets for our embassy employees in dangerous locations (oh can't do that as it costs money?). Don't let anybody else tell you what to think or what the truth is right out of the gate (and that means right or left). Chances are it won't prove to be. Delusions are easier to come by-- especially for those who live in bubbles where all they hear is those of their own ilk.

I think we ourselves are sometimes illusions. Because I recently came to hate my profile photo here (that happens a lot to me), after we got back from shopping at the plant nursery, I took some new photos. It was one of those days when every photo came out great. When I was writing this, I thought well that's the photo when it's all going well but how about the other times when I'm not wearing make-up, have on my glasses, and don't give a ... (incidentally, I might be one of the few people who uses lipstick to lighten the color of my lips, not darken them)

Illusions -- except 

which is the illusion?