I am: an unconventional woman who looks conventional on the outside.
I think: about the meaning of all life even though I know I am unlikely to figure it out.
I know: a lot about farm life and the Bible. Do they go together? Yes, they do surprisingly.
I want: passion in my life of all sorts.
I have: security as much as anybody gets it in this world which means it can be taken away at any moment.
I dislike: hypocrisy and lies.
I miss: someone.
I fear: negative things happening to my family.
I feel: joy in simple things like the feel of dirt under my fingers, the delicacy of moss, a bird flitting out of a bush.
I hear: a cat breathing, the computer whirring, a bird outside and silence inside.
I smell: the odors of a house, some remaining from last night's spaghetti (reminding me to open windows even though it's not very warm out there).
I crave: a life lived fully and close to nature.
I usually: follow a routine.
I search: for beauty wherever I go.
I wonder: about people and their motivations.
I regret: some things even though I know regrets are useless.
I love: freely.
I care: for animals of all sorts.
I am always: thinking I should do more and sometimes even doing it.
I worry: when something happens that seems to trigger risk to livestock, pets or loved ones.
I remember: Tucson.
I have: a good life but it’s not all I want.
I dance: sometimes around the house.
I sing: when a song comes to my mind.
I don't: overly value possessions (well except for a few like....).
I argue: about things that matter to me but try to do it passionately and without nastiness.
I write: constantly.
I lose: with grace— or try to anyway.
I wish: for my dream day.
I listen: to others' opinions.
I don't understand: hatred.
I can usually be found: in the house or around the farm.
I am scared: when something loud and scary happens outside at night and someone must check on it.
I need: to have more discipline.
I forget: past events like what happened in my childhood.
I am happy: in spurts with cycles of up and down.
While I am delving into me, here is one which I got from [Annotated Margins] who gave it to Rainy Day Thoughts-- the Kreative Award. This test was a tougher one... It requests seven interesting things about me (the key word there being interesting). First of all, if I think something is interesting about me, I probably have already written about it-- or it's too private and not about to appear here, but I'll give it a shot.
1. I have been involved in several religions from Catholicism to Evangelical, have explored the metaphysical but do not participate in any organized religion but am still quite interested in spiritual experiences like reincarnation.
2. My mother was a professional musician, played bass, sang, and traveled with all-girl orchestras in the 30s before she married my father who was a carnival bum which meant he also traveled but on a route through the Pacific Northwest. Every summer he'd take off from whatever job he had. When he met my mother, he was a stagehand, stood her up on a date to go with that carnival, but when he came back at the end of that season, he didn't go again.
3. I have to make myself think about my childhood or pretty much anything that happened much in my past. The kids are always reminding me of something that happened when they were growing up and I wonder was I there
4. I have a thing about cowboys. Lucky I married one, wasn't it. His boots attracted me to him when we began to date. Cowboy boots still attract me to pretty much anybody (I have two pair of my own).
5. I also have a thing about mustaches on men (women not so much). I love them, but it wasn't always so. I talked my father into shaving his off when I was in high school and my mother never forgave me.
6. Is it interesting that although I don't like clutter, keep my home pretty organized, I don't see dust or smears on floors, furniture or windows (unless it's cat throw up, a dead bat, rodent or bird-- live ones attract my interest even quicker)?
7. I like to paint and sculpt nudes-- the male form in particular and that is definitely not okay in art galleries or with most people. Does interesting mean not okay or exactly what does it mean?
I am not going to pass this onto anybody because I just did that with another 'award' but if it looks interesting to you, give it a try... whatever interesting means... I find all the blogs in my blog roll to be creative in different ways or they'd not be there.
As long as I was delving into self-analysis, I thought a new digital self-portrait fit in well. I do one of these now and again since I got the idea from Natalie's blog--
[Blaugustine's Other Blog]. They provide a quick exercise in shading, shapes and trying to catch moods. This one should show humorous contemplation... I hope