Dark times even in sunshine

Everybody goes through dark times, times of depression, of feeling upset and sometimes with no idea of why. It just happens. Sometimes, like now, it might be due to planetary combinations that leave many people feeling the same thing at the same time.

When a person is going through such a dark time, it doesn’t matter if their world looks good to others. Nobody can tell us-- well look at all you have going for you! It doesn't help to know that sunshine is nearby. The reason none of that works is because such a time is not about logic. It’s about going through a dark time and doing the best one can with it. If the personal dark times last too long, there will be suggestions to go the doctor, get a prescription for something to ligthten up, which occasionally might be the right choice, but most often the right choice is just be willing to feel what is, whether it is fun or not, as it’s all part of a whole experience of life.

Emotionally, I am going through one of those dark times and there is no logical reason that I can identify. It just is. I am doing the best I can with it. Some is probably loneliness. I am currently in Tucson by myself. It is something I have done many times before, sometimes for months and enjoyed my time; but this year I didn’t want to come, haven’t had the energy to do the things I know helped in the past. Maybe it’s because my inner self is telling me that although there was maintenance to do on the house, there is also inner work to do on me-- work that isn’t fun.

Jokingly I told a friend I was thinking about having a nervous breakdown while here and wondered if two weeks was long enough. He didn’t appear to find it humorous; and since I have never had a nervous breakdown (that I know of), perhaps joking about it was poor on my part. I have had dark times before and always do the best I can to keep trudging through them knowing on the other side, it’ll be better.

So lots of chamomile tea, trying to paint (but that’s not been going well), photography (if the quail will cooperate), watering the new plantings, some walking, some reading, listening to my old cat yowl periodically (probably due to missing her home and the other cats but making me wish I'd left her at the farm), and just letting be what it is. Perhaps I will learn something through this particular darkness. Although I suspect we have this propensity for wanting to make lemonade out of lemons, see the bright side of every situation. Maybe sometimes we should just accept darkness and not try to make it have some value. It is what it is.

Incidentally, Mars coming into Pluto doesn't bode well for the current political season (this from many astrology sites an example being Astrological Musings). Mars represents violent, angry action.

Here is something my favorite astrologer Jonathan Cainer wrote about Pluto: “Pluto, Lord of the Underworld. King of all things hidden, disguised, denied and suppressed. Guardian of secrets. Governor of dangerous desires and irrational passions. No wonder we don't want to know about him in our modern, tidy world, full of shallow frippery. No wonder our scientists have been so keen to demote and disempower this primeval planet. In Capricorn, the earth sign, Pluto will dig up whatever has been buried, literally and metaphorically. It may bring volcanoes or earthquakes, but it will also bring their emotional equivalents. Dark histories that must now be exposed and brought to the surface.”

I don’t know about you, but that along with today being the new moon is leaving me wanting to curl up in bed and pull the covers over my head. It sure doesn’t make me want to watch television news. Although perhaps this is a time, such as Cainer described, also for the American people. Who are we really? What are our goals? Are they as glowing as we'd like to say? Lately it has made me wonder how come people claim they don't like negativity in campaigning and yet they reward it time and again? Do we get what we truly do want, not what we say we want? Now that's a really scary thought!

(The above photo was taken last week-end by my husband up Romero Canyon. When I went looking for something to illustrate what I was wanting to write about, it seemed to do it best. Sometimes we walk in light-- sometimes in darkness. Both have their beauty and purpose. One feels like more fun though...)