Thinking too much

saguaro that dies on our property for no reason we know

 One of the things that came to me, as I began thinking about what I'd learned through aging, was that for every positive, there is a negative. I guess that's not unique to figure out *what you sow you shall reap or yin and yang, but it has personal implications for me.

Think of the word gratitude. It's what we emphasize with the recent Thanksgiving celebration. What can we appreciate in our lives. Generally, it's what happened in our lives or today where we feel glad. But what about the other side. We look at the recent times where gangs to into stores and grab what they can. One side says-- it's reparations for past wrongs-- not to those people but others. The other side says that tears apart the fabric of society. Fix these wrongs legally. One side claims there is no legally. Except, if not, what is left.

I took this more personally for myself. From the time I was a child, I was told that I think too much. I have seen that as a positive as it's led to books and my own ability to look at what happens and see two sides.  Sounds good up until I think about my anxiety attacks where in the middle of the night I think of what I should have done better with many old inter-reactions with many people.  What good does it do to think about what I might have done better even when I know it's true. It's past and thinking about it gains nothing.

For every positive, I think there are negative aspects. What can we do about that? Wish I knew *s*. I would help with my anxiety attacks. I refuse to give up thinking, with the help of drugs. I'd rather put up with the yah and the nah.