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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Defining Ourselves Part II

Where I wrote about the importance of defining ourselves and using definitions we don't lose with age, I thought it'd important to think a bit on what are  characteristics not dependent on the opinion of others and that can grow and change with age (if possible).

First of all it's important we see ourselves realistically. That is probably a character quality also whether we can look at ourselves realistically or whether we tend to gloss over whatever doesn't suit our vision. We do bad things regularly but justify it by saying someone else made us-- like say our parents growing up.

See the thing is real character qualities, which is what I think we are looking for in defining ourselves would include being able to realistically assess our inner self not just outer. It's not enough to say I wantabe this or that. Do we have what it takes to do it? Adding to this, I think is that sometimes a character quality that seems a positive can also be a negative, has a shadow side.  I better use myself here to illustrate what I mean.

I am a creative person. I have always been and likely always will be and this shows up in the artistic things I do, my writing, my home decor, my own appearance. Being creative I am less prone to be limited by what others think should be done. It has given me a lot of flexibility in my life.

But there has been a downside, and it leads to some of the ways I see myself that are not positive. I have never felt my art/writing/etc. have ended up successful in terms of how they are seen by others. I cannot, in short, make money at any of it. Now it's true I have not worked real hard at making money from them; but I simply have not been successful monetarily with my work and that leads to another aspect of how I define myself.

We can see ourselves as positive, successful to a certain level but to make what we do successful financially, we need others to see it likewise. We cannot dictate to them that they must buy our books, sculptures or paintings. To be monetarily successful in creative endeavors requires not just that we see ourselves as being good. We have to have the 'other' see it also-- and we cannot control the 'other'. It's kind of one of those contradictions in terms of defining that I am not sure of the way to get around.

So we convince ourselves we are gifted, good at it, but if nobody else agrees to the extent of trading their own hard earned dollars for what we did, are we? Well maybe a future generation will see it otherwise like with Van Gogh... most likely though not...

So this business of defining ourselves gets complex with both the light and the shadow side-- ie I am a creative woman who has never gained material success from my endeavors which is the shadow side to what I do. It ends up a positive and also negative attitude which maybe undermines future endeavors...

Photo from a happy day for me-- October 9, 2011-- Kootenai Creek, Montana

9 comments:

Unknown said...

Not only does defining yourself get complex but it is an exercise in futility when you measure yourself by the world's standard. Is the point of being creative to make money or is it in the process of creating? I'm sure there are many "successful" artists that are not happy. I like the Tao philosophy of being unattached to the results of our efforts. Here's another bible verse: "The fastest runner doesn't always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn't always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don't always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time."

Rain Trueax said...

I like that Wally and thought of more for this topic but am on the road and not with my regular keyboard; but it came to me that when we use success as any kind of defining quality, it depends not only on the 'other' but can change. So suppose I thought today that if I sold say $1000 worth of sculptures or paintings a year that it'd be successful; but then when I did that, I upped the ante and it had to be more or some other criteria. Success is a sliding scale. I can rate my work successful based on that I always finish what I start and to my own satisfaction. I don't have half-finished projects all over the house; BUT that might be due to another character quality which impacts my creative endeavors. It's all complex. I like your thoughts on it

Celia said...

Interesting posts Rain. I think one of the bennies of aging is learning to accept ourselves as we are and caring less and less about the opinions of the world at large. My ventures of the heart have been art and writing and I've made precious little money at it, but I continue. Both those arts have helped me get to know myself over the years.

I also learned that even if I do blame someone else, parents, etc. once I identify the unproductive behavior or habits, know where it arose, I own them, they are no longer something someone "made" me do. The next key is for me to change it, the power of the situation belongs to me. Sometimes the best thing I can for myself is laugh about it, even if it's awful, and then write, draw, think, pour it out. Thank you for your thoughtful sharing.

Paul said...

I have never made much money as a published poet, but that has never been my reason for writing. I write, because it nourishes an appetite within me that never goes away. Lovely photo by the way...:-)

Diane Widler Wenzel said...

Only one way of defining our creativity and our success is by measuring our approval rating.
Measuring how many have purchased our products and for how much is a limited outlook on the potential of creativity in our lives. I have just read four novels that have as one of the themes proactive art in healing, saving lives, creating community, and making life liveable. It is stimulating to measure myself and define myself in relation to the characters in these historic novels: SHANGHAI GIRLS and DREAMS OF JOY by Lisa See, THE HANDYMAN, by Lisa's mother Carolyn See, and LOTUS LAND, by Lisa's mother and step-father John Espey under the pen name Monica Highland

Rain Trueax said...

How does someone measure an approval rating? We can get many attaboys but do they mean we are successful or just we promote each other to convince ourselves we are doing something of value? When labor is exchanged (which is what a purchase means), we are putting more on the line than simply what someone else wants to hear.

I think that my feeling I finish what I do is a plus to how I see myself. But what I am discussing here is our own defining of ourselves and what I was specifically writing about is what I see for me and whether that's accurate isn't the issue. It's just how I see me and part of what seems positive has a negative aspect in my own thinking.

This also is not part of someone else's defining of them self. We can kid ourselves and maybe that's not all bad for some people. Possibly if we feel good it doesn't matter if there is physical evidence for it?

OldLady Of The Hills said...

This is such a BIG subject and it is a life-long process, I guess.
Reading Steve Jobs address at Stanford---this was an incredibly important, thoughtful and really special speech that one can live by, and in certain respects, addresses exactly what you are talking about.

The 'how much money one makes at anything' will, as you said, depend on HOW MUCH you think makes you successful---and that number will, no doubt, keep changing--always uping the ante....That will never be the answer.

I say: Just keep creating---it is the most important thing anyone can do for themselves, and by extension, for everyone around you who you love and who loves you, because Creativity comes from the real core of one....

Anonymous said...

Rain--In my view, there is but one real measure of success: Am I happy with the person I've become? Each person has her own view, however, so I shan't worry about how happy you are with the person you've become - except that it makes me unhappy if you are unhappy.
(You creative types put the rest of us to shame!)
Cop Car

Dick said...

It is too bad that so much of measuring "success" in the world is scored by how much money you make from it. I like what Cop Car has said. We really probably are our main critics and if we are more or less happy with ourselves, then I think we are a success. I suppose than any given thing can/could have been done better but so what? And if we learn from the experience, then it seems a success to me.