what love is

When writing romances, it's part of the deal to care about relationships and the subject of love itself. With a romance, the requirement is a happily ever after-- in short, it has to work out in the end. An example would be Pride and Prejudice where however unlikely it might seem, they're going to be with each other at the end of the book. 

image purchased from Deposit Photos.

With love stories, this is not necessarily the case. An example of that would be Gone with the Wind. One might hope he'd come back but didn't seem likely when the story ended.

Romances are fantasies, not to say love stories cannot also be, but one is satisfying even when it might not feel realistic. Still, does it seem believable that this couple would fall in love to begin or did the writer just throw them together and tell readers that it happened. The best romances make the reader believe, yep, it could make sense. 

I wrote one of my contemporary romances where it began with a couple divorcing, which one wanted and one did not. Divorces do sometimes end with a couple back together in what we call real life. Not always and definitely not needed in a love story.

Always when I begin a romance, I have in mind at least one of the protagonists. Then who seems likely for that happily ever after, with, of course, some major glitches along the way. That is required or there is no interest. When I come up with the second protagonist, I have to believe it's more than seeing each other and bam. If I don't believe in it, the readers will not.

Music speaks a lot about love-- sometimes as a romantic fantasy and sometimes with sad endings. I particularly like this song from the 80s where it speaks of someone wanting to know love, wanting to find someone to teach them.

I want to know what love is

Here's the thing about love. It's within us. Relationships in romances can begin many ways, from friends to lovers or even enemies to lovers, but the real life deals, which last. love for each other, and not in the romantic sense of the word but more the in depth caring for that person and what is good for them as well as one's own self.  

People looking for love in their lives have to be logical as well as emotional. Do I share life goals with that person? Do our backgrounds make it likely that we will understand each other? It can't be just lust, though that might be a beginning. If that's all it is though, don't expect it to last. Real love goes through good and bad times with a desire to work together for a good life. I try to write romances where that seems likely for the protagonists.

Romantic love is lovely in books, soothing to read through dark times, but the kinds of relationships that last take genuine love and that takes the emotion and logic to make it through the dark times-- and I believe all relationships have those. I know something about those long term relationships as I am in one. Not that I don't have dreams that add to what I write.