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Saturday, February 09, 2019

kismet


by Rain Trueax


This week, I got to thinking about how much of life is about luck and timing. Those two items can go either way for whether we consider them good or not so much. In my own experience, timing has sometimes been amazing how a series of events leads to one result. 


There are many examples, but an early one goes back to college. I dropped an acting class at the beginning of my sophomore year. That rearranged my schedule, and I had to take a make-up social dance class as part of my PE requirements. 

When I got into the class, the teacher told those of us there making it up to cut in on a partner. I saw a cute guy out there, who I remembered from a class we'd taken together as freshmen. I tapped the girl's shoulder, and the guy said hi, and he knew my name. That was a surprise as we'd never talked. Another girl tapped in, and I went off to someone else. 

When the class was over, the cute guy told me he knew more than my name as we walked back to the main hall. The previous year, he'd looked me up in a school directory. I guess today a girl might think that was stalking although he'd done nothing about checking me out. By the time we had exchanged names and then parted, I was very impressed and going home that night said I thought I'd met the man I wanted to marry. 

Turns out I did, and 54 years later, we're still married. Now think about the coincidences involved in our beginning. Had I not changed schedules, I'd never have been in that class. Maybe we'd have met another way but perhaps not. Do you believe such things are determined by some preordained plan or is it just the luck of the draw? 

Such timing doesn't always work out in ways we would remotely consider positive. The day of the Super Bowl, a party was going on at a home in California. In the air above was a man flying a plane that for whatever reason appeared to break up and dive straight down. It could have hit the wide street, but it did not. It went straight into the house with the party. Five people died. Now the one in the plane maybe had an idea of what was coming. The ones in the house, not a clue. Fate again or kismet-- planned fate? 

This all goes true for so much of life not just about love or death but also about career choices and how they work out. Think of how many beautiful girls are in Hollywood hoping for their big break. What makes it happen for some and not others? It's not all explained by talent or beauty as many have those gifts.

Even in the more routine workplace, promotions or hires are determined by preparation but also being in the right place at the right time-- or not. While networking plays a role in some outcomes, it can't always explain it. 

I've gotten plots for books from dreams-- some that worked out amazingly and some that were just fun ideas that went nowhere. When they work out, I call it from the Muse. What exactly is the Muse, I am not sure, but I don't blame it for the mistakes I have made. That's all me :) 

So what do you think about fate? How about kismet, which to me is more designed than pure happenstance? 

Some would say we make our destiny, but do we or do we try to recognize it when it comes along? 

Serendipity is another word I like, which is always positive and for me generally involves small things that come together in a providential way (as I see it at the time).

7 comments:

thelma said...

For me it has to be chance and choice. Robert Frost's poem, 'Which Road to Take'. Occasionally we take the wrong road and have to extricate ourselves but our lives are bound by the vagaries of the world around us, starting of course with birth.
I would dearly like to believe in predestination but it doesn't happen, scientifically we can explain most things, except we haven't got round to souls and gods but the mind is an exciting place with some unexplained mysteries.....

Rain Trueax said...

I don't really like the idea of predestination and prefer free choice but it is indeed a mystery how life works out-- and even more when it doesn't.

Larry said...

It's comforting but delusional to think, as many people do, that "everything happens for a reason". If things are going well, it's tempting to think that the universe likes you and wishes you well. When things take a bad turn it's tempting to think that, for inscrutable reasons, God or Fate has plans which are more important than your own desires. Bad things do indeed happen to good people and vice versa. As the old phrase cogently has it, "Them's the breaks!".

Rain Trueax said...

That's how I see it and I wouldn't like the idea that a god was micromanaging everything as that would mean horrible things too. I think a person can believe in a god and not believe he/she/it is there for every event and behind it. I know it gives some people great comfort though to think that way and we are all looking for comfort, i think

Joared said...

Serendipity is a favorite word of mine, too. I think my belief system as to why things happen as they do has evolved thru the years from being some possible unexplainable force best described by some of the terms you used to my currently concluding, they just happen. There’s no hidden or magical force — it’s all about how each of us reacts in the circumstances in which we find ourselves at any given time. It is our nature to want to order everything where there may not be order and find causes when there is no explanation beyond acting on the consequence of other unrelated occurrences.

Rain Trueax said...

I think we want to think it makes sense or we can control it, Joared. I just don't buy it

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