After a week or two of stressful dreams, which didn't quite qualify as nightmares but left me waking upset, Monday morning, I lay in bed thinking of what might be behind them. None were the sort of events that could actually happen, but the stress I woke with was very real.
The last dream had me doing something unethical, potentially dangerous, and frankly stupid. It began in the most mundane, easy way where one step led to another without thinking. Just before I woke, I was realizing that because of the dumb choice, I could end up being arrested even with a felony on my record. I woke before it happened, but my awareness that it could have was with me when I opened my eyes and thought... what the ---?
None of these dreams have been of a premonition type (most didn't take it so far as actually being criminal). They were always full of elements that aren't in my life or taking actions I'd never take-- still what's going on with my subconscious!
It was the middle of the night, and I lay there thinking-- trying to understand why such upsetting dreams? Stress is always hard to pin down. It does not have to come from important problems. Actually, I don't have a lot of problems as such, at least not those that aren't part of routine life-- like not exercising enough, gaining weight that's not healthy, the usual things that I could do something about but haven't for assorted reasons.
There might be more adjustments ahead, but what I decided in the morning was this blog is a place where I have temporarily run out of ideas. I haven't wanted to write a journal type blog where I get into what we are doing or not doing. It's been about ideas... and frankly, I don't currently have any.
In blogging, a lot of friends have come, gone, and come from their blogs. I am going to do that. I won't be posting anything new here until August 1st, which is conveniently a Saturday. Whether I then take off August will depend on what comes up through the month of July. I have no plans for it. Ranch Boss and I might finally take some little vacations within the state of Oregon, do some hiking, and just slow our lives down after a rather hectic, high pressure winter and spring. Summer seems a good time to take a break when a lot of people are also off doing their own re-creating.
I have an Arizona historical due out August 5th, but it's written and only takes editing-- no creative thinking-- mostly craft. I will continue to post off and on at Rain Trueax Facebook where I sometimes share my writing but don't have a schedule (the link there is alongside if you want to bookmark it). I will keep posting weekly book snippets into Rain Trueax.
Maybe what I need most now is a span of no thinking-- just being. I would like a nowhere month with no expectations for myself or anyone else. Maybe I'll even get a chance to read someone else's books. I tend to buy a lot of them through the year for my Kindle. Now is a good time to sit outside and read some.
Before I posted this, I received an email regarding the July 1st full moon. I love this kind of serendipity:
This
full moon may bring about a feeling of being overwhelmed by all that is
not “right” in your life and therefore a good time to take a break from
it all to do something for yourself that is nurturing, loving and
peaceful.
You
should use this moon to honor yourself with gratitude for all that you
have accomplished in your life and to be in acceptance of whatever is
showing up for you at this time.
This
moon launches the month and will initiate the “growing pains” so it is
best to start the month off in a place of honoring self, acceptance of
what is, and neutrality around what others are going through. Be
inspired by something today and make sure to be physically active as
well. This will put your heart mind, and body in the right place.
by astrologer Patricia Liles
Hope you all have a great summer-- however you spend it.
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9 comments:
I am in sync with these feelings. NO nightmares, at least that I remember. Taking a break is always a good thing. Sit under a tree and draw, take a drive and photograph, take a hike and work up a sweat! You are coming to a vague change in your life, a new window and only time will show the way. We will miss you...but happy for your decision.
Those all sounds like wonderful ideas, Tabor :) Thanks
Before someone imagines worse, I should describe what last dream was. My husband had gotten a remote from a real estate agent where it would open doors to homes that were empty,for us to go through them-- like a new development. Great fun and seemed innocent. Then we went in one where it was obvious people were living there. We got out but the next one was the same way-- and that's where it dawned on me that we were illegally entering these homes. I realized someone could even shoot us for being there. So we were trying to drive out of that development when the gate ahead was closed. A man came out and demanded to know what we were doing there. He asked for the remote and when we handed it to him was when I realized this could all turn very very bad. Breaking and entering could even be a felony though we took nothing.
I have always believed a lot of wrong doing begins the way of the dream-- something seems innocent but then it escalates. Anyway it was all about not really thinking.
I think it is wonderful to take a month-long (or longer) break. It is always good to slow down and take a good look around. I look forward to your return, with all the good stories, photos, and dreams that you can share with us here.
Have a good break and see you when you get back. :)
Have a wonderful summer Rain! I always enjoy reading your blog and will look forward to it again come August.
Katt :)
Thanks to all. Hope you all get a great summer.
Nice to see you Katt. I miss our conversations :) Hope you also are having a great summer
perfectly stated, "a month with no expectations for myself or anyone else." Sounds divine. I heartily support your taking a blog break -- when there are no ideas, there is no point trying to force the issue. Rest, rejuvenate, do whatever you damn well please. You are the mistress of your universe!
I miss our conversations too Rain. You are such an articulate, bright woman. Hope your summer is going well! It'd be nice to catch up one day. :)
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