Oregon writer, Rain Trueax, and Oregon painter, Diane Widler Wenzel co-author Rainy Day Thought. Diane generally posts on Wednesdays and Rain on Saturdays. There may be extra days or changes as situations warrant. Comments are always welcome and appreciated as it turns an article into a discussion.

Saturday, December 13, 2014


 Ferruginous Hawk
The other day I was listening to an interview Jane Fonda did about her life and where she is now. She is in a relationship that she said really works for her and she has learned something she wished she had known when younger. When told what to look for in a mate, it was for things like strength, sense of humor, smartness, etc. What she learned finally was more important is looking for one who is kind. The relationship she has with a man who is kind has made all the difference for what it's like.

I've thought about it ever since as it's true in friendships as well as lovers. Kind people are kind to themselves and to others. They have a caring that works to get them through rough stretches without it turning ugly. When you read of someone who shoots their spouse because they were going to leave, it's not someone who lives with kindness-- or even understands what it is.

Be kind to others and ourselves. Find those who not only know what that is but are also kind. It's a word that I think often isn't thought of enough, even an old fashioned word, but the world needs more of it.

Nature isn't by 'nature' kind as such. Nature has to survive and it does what it must without thinking beyond what is needed. Humans though have another dimension. We can think beyond survival. It is that other dimension where we can exercise kindness, develop it, truly come to understand what it means. 

As I read people trying to justify the recent revelations regarding torture that was authorized at the highest level, I keep trying to understand what kind of human would do that to another. I had one person say-- isn't ISIL worse? Who cares? If we justify misbehavior by -- the other guys do worse, we lose all possible morality. We can't steal just because someone else has. If we as a nation justify this torture because it'll keep us safe, what does that say about us? I hate to even think.

Kind people would never have authorized such abuse-- for any reason; and they won't find it acceptable. Kindness is a character trait. I don't know if we can develop it, but we sure can lose it if we lose track of everything except what is good for us-- and we don't even really understand what that is.


Celia said...

So true Rain. I'm sad my children are facing a world that tries to counter wrongdoing with more wrongdoing.

robin andrea said...

Yes, a good thing to remember kindness. Too often forgotten in this world.

Dick said...

You said, "Kindness is a character trait. I don't know if we can develop it, but we sure can lose it if we lose track of everything except what is good for us-- and we don't even really understand what that is."

If that is turned around a bit it can become "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." I think this is a tenant in most of our religions and if we all followed that the world would be a far better place.

Rain Trueax said...

You are sure right about that, Dick. :)

Rain Trueax said...

It's odd why blogger now shows a need for word verification when I have that turned off. If you comment here, just ignore it and it should go through anyway. It even has me needing to use it and I hate word verification!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

So very true....And I too agree with Dick....."Do unto others.....".
Kindness is to be treasured in every way.....Giving and receiving.
It could truly change the world.

Diane Widler Wenzel said...

It is easy to be unkind unintentionally. In addition to good intentions, periodic self-examination is useful for individuals and nations.

Rain Trueax said...

That is true, Diane. And also to truly understand what is kind is another issue.

MandT said...

So true, kindness is what one remembers and lives with after all else has become history.

Tara Crowley said...

I am mystified, horrified, by the ABC/Washingtonpost survey indicating that 51 percent of US citizens believe the treatment of prisoners was justified. Only 28 percent belief it was torture. We have lost our collective humanity. And our common sense: if we condone this behavior in our name, then it's a small step to condoning the torture of our citizens by forgien regimes.

I wish kindness was a stronger force that this survey indicates. Still, I treasure kindness, and as the Dali Lama says, "Kindness is my religion."