Upping Your Game

image from Stencil

One place, where for me, my life comes together with fiction is in writing. My books are, of course, total fiction for the characters, what happens to them, but it blends together my beliefs on life as I have lived it. I have seen what works, not only for me, but for others. How could that not influence my writing? Likely does for all those who write fiction. Of course, those who write non-fiction claim their books are true-- even if some will see it more as how they want it to be, than how it is.

It leads to this blog and its subject, which is on the title. It's how, I believe, we benefit most from life. Some get somewhere and they are stuck there. Maybe not stuck but figure they made it except made it to what?  I was talking about this with my husband and later my brother, who have worked all their lives in what I'd call expertises. 

In Ranch Boss's case, it was as an engineer, a technician, someone who figures out problems to fix. Following is one good example of how it worked for him. In the corporation where he worked, a technical problem arose, maybe more a breakthrough than a problem. He didn't know much about it. What then did he do? He studied with reading a lot of technical books in that area and then took an online class to refine what he knew and could use. He upped his game. He actually did that many times in his career and even now when retired.

Then with my brother, who is a mechanic with a gift. He ran into a new problem with engines. He could have sat back and expected someone else to take care of it. Or said, it's just how life goes today. Instead, he got books and studied what it would take to fix that new problem. He upped his game

Upping my game recently where it comes to my writing, one of my novellas (27,000 words) seemed finished. Fine story as it was, maybe even more popular where folks like shorter reads. The thing was that I had the opportunity to upgrade it to more story, more character development, and I went for it. This one ended up 82,000+ words. Now, it's a full novel, or will be when it comes out maybe in May or June. I upped its game and mine. 

I didn't know if readers would like delving into the deeper more challenging aspects of a relationship, as well as more action. Well, it's what this book now offers. 

When you bring two people together, who come from different worlds, it can take some doing to make it believable that it will yield a happy ending. I saw the extended potential with these two characters and wanted to have the enjoyment of writing about it. In different ways, they each had to up their games. They didn't do it to entice the other person, but because the relationship allowed them to see who they truly wanted to be.

It is not changing to fit, but upping your game. Upping your game is being more of who you actually are. To me, upping your game is to feel proud of yourself, not because you have to. While, it could work out that you got a better job because the boss saw you upping your game and admired that quality of worker. Could be, but I don't think it's why it's part of a satisfying life. You do it for yourself.  In most every type of work, there are ways to up your game to feel better about what you're doing.

If you are out in the world and have to look good, upping your game might mean going to used stores to improve your wardrobe, when you can't afford new. I know about that as I had a very stylish aunt who taught me. I needed to up my game in my high school as a lot of the girls dressed really well. I couldn't afford what they probably spent, but used worked and who knew the difference. Kind of fun to bargain shop too.

I see a lot of folks who get somewhere in life and expect it to hold them there, until the end of their time. Some could get to thinking-- that boss is mean and does not deserve me to improve myself. Well, the job might still stay there, life could indeed go on, but a culture is better off when more folks up their games. There even is a New Testament scripture that fits this scenario: Matthew 25:14-30. I know not all look to the Bible for wisdom, but I'll bet you can find similar beliefs in other scriptures regarded as holy.

It is rewarding to look around for new answers and ask the question-- what would it take? It is good for our own body, brain and emotions, rather than being like Scrooge in the novella, A Christmas Story, where he wants to hold onto what he thinks he has. He found out otherwise for true joy in his life.

Guess what! And you know this one. We actually have nothing material from earth that we take with us when we go... just our souls and what we have done with them. So, up your game.

 February 23, 2025 -- Nikon CoolPix P900 camera -- photo by Ranch Boss

Writing and Emotions

 

While the world has gone on with many issues impacting many lives, mine stays much the same. It's one of the advantages of being old maybe. Some panic regarding that too, of course. Will Social Security continue, Medicare, investments, pensions, how about bank accounts? And the always reliable thing to fret over-- will crime hit my street or my family? 

For a writer, it's not hard to escape into other worlds, ones we created, and have some control over. If a black swan hits my characters, I am there to deal with it. Of course, there is the nervousness that always goes with-- what will be the next sentence or did that make sense for the characters to do? At least though it's something I have some control over... kind of. It takes me into an imaginary world and out of the one so many people are flipping out over.

With the books I have written (30 at this point), most are novel length with a few exceptions that were novellas. With one series, eight Arizona western historicals, set between 1883 and 1905, I ran into trouble with changing their titles one too many times. I have earlier written how that happened due to not reading Amazon's emails with new rules regarding title changing. Oops.

What I hadn't realized then was that when Amazon pulled my books or I did, they would also disappear from readers' devices. Ack!  I have notified those who had earlier purchased these books, that I'd send them the new versions, when they came out, at no cost to them. 

Except for it doing that to readers, there was an advantage for me. I could edit and improve the stories, adding more scenes that I saw would be beneficial. I was in no hurry to bring them back out after having all eight to do. I still didn't know better ways to promote them. Another drawback was I lost all their reviews. Nothing I could do about that. Getting new reviews has been difficult to impossible as they came out. Many readers don't like to do reviews. 

Today, with the five I now have out, with their new series name, Winds of Change, I still have had no idea how to promote. Marketing is not something I am good at. With the new versions, their titles were either totally changed or tweaked to satisfy Amazon rules. Never again not reading emails from Amazon.

I actually enjoyed the editing and had them also edited by Ranch Boss, who is good at looking to the masculine side of what happens. Men are an important part of my stories and usually have a point of view. Ranch Boss also does the technical side of publishing and running the few ads we run for books, some of which have never had an ad, hence the Amazon black hole is their fate. 

The historical novels ran 80,000+ to 100,000+ words. They have improved covers to fit their new titles. I had esited five of them last spring. Because of our being in no hurry to bring them back out, I was in no hurry to edit the next three. 

The two novellas, which I had originally seen as being better if shorter, because so many readers today like fast reads. Except, as I edited them, I was dissatisfied with the length of their stories, felt there was more to tell. I had the same feeling regarding their covers. They were pretty enough, but I wanted the lovers on the covers. 

That presented a problem, in the main sites I have been using, there are very few images of middle-aged or older people. The sites mostly go for younger models. Fortunately, several sites, which I had first bought into, did have older faces possible to use. I won't go into details here, as that's not what the blog about, but I got my couples, the first one below here. It's now a book long enough to be a novel, but not as long as the other novels in this series. I though was able to bring to the book the additions that added to my interest in writing it-- and hope it will for readers, whenever we figure out how to let them know. *s*

The images on the cover came from one of ours and others I had purchased. On the title page, credit is always given as to from where the pieces have come.

When enlarging a book, I had earlier published as a novella, I ran into an aspect of writing, that readers might also experience. How the scenes, the chapters and their emotions can impact our own lives. I don't always have that happen when I create characters, but maybe because these were older, I related more to their issues.

For me, the hardest emotionally can be when I need to have a very nice, even beloved, character die. i might know it would happen, even should, to feel right for the story, but it's still hard. The most satisfying, emotionally, is when love works out, maybe a wedding, but more important is when the couple commit themselves to each other. 

One thing I never do is kill off a pet or a horse/donkey/mule. I don't even like to read books or watch films that do that. Yes, it also happens in life, but emotionally, I don't want to live with the pathos. If I have to accept a beloved animal has died of old age, it will happen between books. I'm not saying it makes for superior writing. It's just how the emotions work for me-- positive and negative.

Next blog, I'll write about the second enlarged, novella. These two couples do know each other but their romances are five years apart. There are important differences despite similar ages. The cultural times are similar, but the four characters have different economic levels and pasts. 

For this one, Rose's Gifts, both hero and heroine had been in the three books ahead of theirs. They were not, at least in my thinking, a couple that others might expect to fall in love. That's the fun of being a writer, who is open to such possibilities. I've written before about the enjoyment for me of writing a series and that all came to play with this book, more a "relationship novel' probably than a generic romance for the issues that arose.

For more about Rose's Gifts, check out the link for the blurb and the free sample. I especially like the cover now, as bringing an older couple to a story was a challenge but also fun. Their experiences and expectations, through lifetimes, were woven into the plot.

This link is to Amazon, but alongside here are the Universal Links, for those who prefer to buy from other sites.

Rose's Gifts for Kindle 

 

 

 

THE PILING-ON PHENOMENA

  Cairns can be seen across the American SW to mark the way of a path. Most not are not piled as elaborately as this one, acquired through my Stencil membership

Two things before I pile on... as in, discuss what piling-on is. These aren't one more important than the other, but one has to go first. 

I have no interest in changing reader's minds. I want to lay out what I think and why, but if someone disagrees, sees it the opposite, I will not fight to the last round to convince them they are wrong. I have a philosophy of not only live and let live, but also that while I do believe in what I do, I could be wrong. Many people do not share that view. They are convinced not only they are right, but I am wrong. I am not one of those people. 

I go by what I have lived, what I have read and heard, and finally what to me seems like commonsense. I don't have to convince other people that, for instance, "I am not a racist". I don't really care what they believe as few of them know me at all. I know me. I know racial prejudice is not in my DNA based on experience. I have known too many people of various races and beliefs for me to think they were inferior/superior based on anything but their actions and the things they say. 

So, when I've written a blog, it's not to convince you to think like I do. It's to tell you why I think as I do; then let the chips fall where they may. I can agree to disagree and do it without insulting others. That is also in my DNA.

Let's see, where was I, oh yeah, the second point or perhaps secondteenth by now. I am not by nature a follower. It might be why I am not into sports. Who would I root for or bet on? It's just not my thing as a non-follower. Same is true of celebrities whether of movies or music. 

These days I would be lucky to even know their names, but back in my younger years, I had one crush on a celebrity, except he was not a real person. He was a character. (I do not btw get crushes on my book characters either.) Actually there were two crushes as a kid and I mean early teens or before. Cheyenne and Spin. Look them up if you want, but the crushes didn't last, as I got old enough to have crushes on real guys. lol

Finally, I am to my point for this blog. Piling-on is one of those things that (forget its dictionary meaning) can go positive or negative. People tend to follow what others think. Now, that's not everybody, but a certain group of people.

Where it comes to me, at my age, I sometimes have a general understanding of what is being talked about but mostly I know little about sports or the celebrity world of today. I know a bit more about political leaders, like where'd they accumulate that wealth on their salaries? I only know about their personal lives what I read, which means media is determining it, whether news or social. 

What I've seen recently for the piling-on has all been negative whether movie, music, or sports stars. Lose a game and the world turns against you as it's 'the' thing to do and a way to be part of the group. To not pile-on is to be suspect. You must be one of 'them.' These can lead to riots or big demonstrations to depict power. Piling-on is about being part of power.

Politically speaking, I've read (often they can be from anonymous or false sources) to make every day January 6, 2021 in terms of disrupting government working. Earlier it was claimed those piling-on should interrupt those, who work for the 'wrong' person/party, should go where they go out to dinner, to movies, and at their homes and yell insults or carefully worded threats (don't wanta get arrested do ya). 

It has also meant trying to kill and sometimes succeeding. With those who didn't do it, piling-on by saying they wish that person had succeeded or were glad for what they did. Piling-on can mean trying to disrupt the economy as punishment; thus, so many phone calls that the one they hate cannot function. Destroying businesses by fires or breaking in (businesses unrelated to the current piling-on cause). And on it goes right up to and including violent protests that block roads for those on the way to work, when they again had nothing to do with what the piling-on person is angry about.

Of course, there can be a seemingly positive side to piling-on. You then become part of fandom. You follow someone and accept whatever they do must be right. This works fairly well for politicians and entertainers until they do something to upset those piling-on, then watch out. It can encourage people to support causes, music or movies because it's popular, not because they even like them or know much about what they mean.

The power of piling-in is how one sports figure just said that the whole experience can 'shoot you to the moon.'  Well, it can also bury you in darkness when it turns if the person depended on it. Here is how it can work: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/feb/10/v-fluence-pesticide-critics

Obviously, I am no fan of piling-on negatively or positively. Decide what you think or like based on what you believe and have experienced yourself. I see there is energy there, but it can turn on you just as fast. 

I don't generally use cartoons, but I thought a humorous approach to this subject, considering how angry things can be right now, could be fun to put together. The three images were found and purchased from Deposit Photos. The images represent the two ways of piling-on and the energy behind it all.

 

Images... ?

 Image from my Stencil membership

Over my lifetime, whether on the television or theater, I think I've seen most John Wayne films. On DVD, we own quite a few, my favorites being Hondo and Red River. They have all the important ingredients for me-- love, discussions of the importance of honesty, courage, a clear depiction of the need sometimes to change, stirring soundtracks, big sky, desert landscapes, often humor; and of course, John Wayne as a powerful figure for right-- at least eventually.

 

Also, as did a lot of his films, there were strong female counter punchers to him (love that in the books I write also). Although today, there are some counter punchers to claim these were not good films, and he was not a good hero. 

 

The thing was in those films, you never had to worry if the good guy will win. Mostly when they are over, they leave the viewer a satisfied feeling. Did we think they really happened? Not likely. It's the emotional uplift that they provided versus too often a world without any feel good about what has happened-- no happily ever after or it all working out as we might wish.

There are also some problems with them if you look deeper. One is that we can mistake image for reality. John Wayne walked or rode onto the screen and instantly you knew he could not only be trusted to be who he said he was but that he could take care of whatever had gone wrong. Might take him some time, but he'd get you there. This is great for entertainment but what happens when you take it into real life?

Politically you can end up with the need for politicians to have an image that people vote for more than the actual person. Some is due to the need for instant sound bites and, at least these days, people's lack of patience with serious messages. We want to feel good and a lengthy discussion of policy isn't going to cut it. 

 

So, we can get a guy, who looks good in a tuxedo, can deliver a rousing speech, maybe written for him, but who cares. Maybe it's a woman in a designer suit, with a big smile, good makeup, and a promise of joy without much discussion of issues for either.

 

Or maybe the image wears a Stetson,  cowboy boots, buys himself a ranch, rides around in a pickup, cuts brush (never mind if it would've been better off not being cut), and you got a cowboy. It doesn't matter if he doesn't have a cow, has no idea which side of the horse to mount from. He presents the image, and what does cowboy mean to Americans?  To a lot of us, especially elders, it can mean John Wayne.

 

The John Wayne image worked, with his stories set in the West, righting wrongs, a code of ethics, a man of his word. Did the candidate with the image have any of those qualities? Most likely they don't have to have them. It's the illusion, male or female. Voters don't go deep enough in past records to find out if what is being presented is all image, that they may never have lived up to. Research and policy papers take too long and aren't fun. People, including reporters, get carried away with image. It satisfies something in us.

 

Images have long been with us, but are more easily portrayed with social media, which spreads those images. This one is ugly and fat. Even if they are not, the insults travel with them. That one is lovely and slickly dressed. Does that relate to anything but image?

Some politicians try to create an image that they don't really fit. They're a war hero, though maybe never in a war. That approach doesn't always lead to success with Americans if the real life doesn't fit it. But sometimes, connecting with these politicians seems to matter more with Americans than their actual policies. Would you like a beer with him or her, is the key and usually about an image.

This goes beyond politics to who we trust in our personal lives. A young woman goes to a bar, a guy has a square jaw, is cute, seems nice and she trusts him. What he truly is she has no idea as she barely knows him. It's all about image, and Ted Bundy projected a good looking guy until he got the girl in his power when what he truly was became obvious, and it was too late.

 

Another problem with images is when we get caught up in them for ourselves. Do we have to fit an image, created by the culture, that is not who we truly are? That can mean how we dress, wear our hair, jobs, hobbies, friends we choose, books we read, etc. Images might seem like a short cut, but are they to a real life?

Another problem with some of the John Wayne films (much as I love 'em) is that they too often present a simplistic solution to problems-- either a fistfight or guns (if it's an uppity lady, spanking will do). It is fun to watch those films, and I wait for the action like everybody else; but if we buy into that as a real solution, we will not only damage our personal lives (could end up in jail) but also get talked into wars that have no real purpose beyond looking like we are at least doing something.

 

As a writer, I come up against the image problem in writing my books. Did I buy into an image for the hero or heroine, which doesn't match real life? Most readers are looking for some escapism in the choices for books, but if a character comes across as cardboard, that doesn't satisfy the rest of their need in reading, which is inspiration.

What's the answer to the image thing where it comes to our lives, voting, choosing of partners? I think mainly it's recognizing image when we see it and understanding it is superficial and an illusion which may or may not have substance behind it. Real heroes and villains don't come so conveniently packaged.

Beauty Standards... ?

Currently, due to tragedy after tragedy in the United States, some from before Trump and some after, with people throwing out anger every which direction to blame someone, it might seem strange that I'd write about this. Well, this is always with us and the other things come and go. They are maybe more important than how we see beauty but they are also very 'flame throwing.'  I had written this earlier and said I'd bring it out. Here it is. Whether later, I get into the blame game, I don't know, but I do have one more that will be political for next week. I myself am concentrating more on one of my older historic books, which I am enlarging from a novella to a novel (or so goes my plans) because there is more story to tell. For me, writing is a good break, since I have no real solutions for my country given we just voted... And, many want exactly what is being done. So, here comes something that is more for how we see each other- does beauty matter? Should it matter?

12 years old school picture

After years of having mixed feelings about how I looked (more on that below), when I turned 80, when I looked in the mirror-- oh my gosh how did that happen? Ithink because of my skin type, I hadn't earlier needed moisturizers, etc. Except, did ignoring all of that end up where I was in that mirror.

To be honest, I had been told most of my life that I looked pretty good. You know how that can be-- others say one thing about your looks, but you see another. As a child, well, that photo at the top was me in 7th grade where I had no idea how to dress, wear my hair, or do makeup. There are more awkward photos from childhood years.

By the time I got into high school, the toughness of my school for kids dressing well, I had to work on caring and accomplished a lot of it through second-hand stores. If children wear makeup too early or sexy clothes, it's not good to many. But to have no clue what is attractive, that also is not good. Plus, there were so many standards back then for length of hems, and you absolutely could not wear pants to school.

Here I am today, when I began to not only think--- eek, but also what am I trying to do here? Look younger? I was definitely not at my best at 18. I used to say most women reach their best at 35, but now I think it's in their 50s, when they have maturity added to their features. This though again, is for women who have interest in such and many do not. Bless them!

As for this business of surgery, it's definitely about trying to look younger. Frankly, it doesn't work for most. They just look plastic. They lose out on what mature beauty might appear to be. Can we let go of a youthful look and find other ways to feel good about our physical looks? 

I don't even know what hairstyle is supposed to be youthful. It's been a long time since I've cared. When I was in my mid20s, I was at a stylist to have my hair trimmed and he said no woman should wear it long ... past 30. 

Over my many years, I've varied the length of mine but never short since high school.  Pixies look cute on some women. I don't think they would so much on me but it's not the reason I wear mine so long.

To begin, I let mine grow long in my 70s-80s, was curiosity. I wondered if I could. I enjoy the feel of long hair on my back, I cut it myself with long layers. I have gone to salons for perms but frankly, retired as we are, cost is a factor in not doing it. I've never had a pedicure or manicure, but that's personal preference to not liking my nails colored because, if you are an active woman, they constantly require maintenance. I used to do some polish at home before my tremors got so bad. Like, how many places to I want that color to end up???

Another thing, a woman whose blog I read, said one of her commenters said she should not wear jeans. That is just ridiculous to me-- wear the clothes that suit your interest as why do most of us have a reason to be high-styling, even if we could afford it. Does that make someone seem more attractive? I can give a few names where it doesn't in the celeb world, but I won't. 

After I saw some recent photos of me, most taken with bad lighting, too many shadows, and bright sun (that's an excuse but not a good enough one) I got interested in some simple things to try and improve my elderly skin, things that are not that expensive or invasive; since I am not trying to turn back time. Still, keeping my skin healthy looking with less droopiness, bags, or big lines, well, I am into that. If you see me making weird faces, they are facial exercises :). which help a lot to keep a chin and neck from losing it.

Some of what I am trying are like facial peels, which is supposed to encourage  the skin layers and encourage collagen development . Exercises help with the muscles under the skin. Everything I use can be in the home. I don't have the money or interest in expensive answers.

To me, the big thing is being able to see someone is old, but that they still have beauty. The alternative is surgery or maybe Botox, which I don't trust any more than I would Ozempic for weight loss. Humans always seem to want the easy answer. I suspect, given side effects, there is no easy answer for any of it.

Just had a ton of photos taken by Ranch Boss to get my Passport renewed with a current picture, but it kept getting refused for an online renewal. The one they finally accepted was an eyeopener for saying-- I don't care. By the time, we had success, smiling was no longer happening, and frankly, smiles improve looks a lot!

When you see that many photos of yourself, necessarily without photo-shop (Passport claims they can tell), it really makes you SEE yourself and in ways you'd rather not, generally speaking. It led to my interest in having beauty be a topic here. Why do we care about it? Should we care about it? Worse though, to me, is should we care about youthful looks? That one I know we should not but how to get past it in a world that makes so much of it? It's all up to us in our own lives. I know that much as the celeb and advertising worlds won't let go of it.

Repeating-- here's the thing I'd like to have Americans and really people around the world be able to see-- women,who look old, can at the same time appear lovely to us. And not just to be polite, but genuinely see the two things can go together. As it is, all the goals to increase beauty appear to try to send it back to the woman's 20s, which by the way, are not women's most attractive years, at least for most of us. Cute works better for me where it comes to young women.  It takes some maturity to create what I consider beautiful in a woman. 

As a writer, what was frustrating is the need to create a cover with a beautiful older woman. It takes a lot of searching. I like writing about elders showing that romance can still happen. but there need to be more images available to buy if there are to be people on those covers. I finally did it by finding a head one place and an historical garment another for a new creation. Fun to do actually, but I'd love it if some of these models, as they age, could continue being out there. The world is not just made up of young people doing things. 

As I said in the earlier blog, this appears a bit easier for men to be considered old but still good looking-- although I also had to buy one man's head and another body for one of the covers. Of course, maybe the companies know only the young ones get bought. This whole thing might be more a thing of society than in ourselves. Looking old should not be negative but rather just part of a long-lived life, and it should not require surgery...

Meritocracy

 

 image from Stencil and our sunset photo from 2019

After writing a blog a about age-ism, I planned on a follow-up. That was until this week hit me with all the social media talk, often on both sides of an issue, which I believe is important to a culture if it wants to succeed. It's the title for this blog.

Here is the issue-- How do we appoint or hire people for key jobs, and there are a lot of important jobs that many do not see that way. What if the appointments are based on diversity, ethnicity, and/or inclusion or should it be based in merit, ability, skills, and/or what they have already achieved? To be good at a job must they have already done it or might they prove it by how they have handled other jobs? Should it be based on skin color, sex, or from where they came? DEI gave credit even to corporations for applying it to new hires or promotions. How's that working for ya?

For way too long, our country applied a different kind of racial and sexual "filtering". If you were a black who wanted to get an important position, you had to be a hundred times better (over exaggeration) than a white looking for the same job. And if you were a woman, you could just forget it. That also was not meritocracy, nor is giving it to someone for who their family is (unless it's a family-run operation, which is their business to sink or swim). Meritocracy too often was not the key application to be used.

As for what are key jobs, it's easy to list some and none relate to the celebrity world. It's not just the obvious ones like medically related, which includes pharmacists, nurses, doctors, therapists, etc. We depend on these people to help us when something has gone wrong with our or a loved one's health. Do we care what race, sex, or color their skin is? Likely only if we are a bigot.

But also meat packing plants. Oh, you didn't see that as important? How about when it's carelessly maintained or even deliberately polluted? 

Of course, it should be obvious that fire department, police and any part of the legal system are very important for the security of a people. I use the term should be as DEI has been applied to those positions too. Don't we want a highly qualified judge if they are to address a case for us? Or does it only matter, in the legal system, that those judges have a certain political ideology? I guess that's fine if it's your ideology that we're talking about? How about the head of big churches, DEI or merit for who gets the position?

Are there any jobs more important than that of educators? They shape the future and does their merit matter or only their political opinions? What will they be teaching those future generations and will it help them achieve merit or just rely on their own DEI qualifications?

Do you like the idea of DEI mechanics? Okay with you if they are not merit based when they go to repair your broken down vehicle? Airplane repairs? and so many other jobs done by repair people of electric, plumbing, internet, etc.

I want to make the case here that DEI sent us too far down the wrong road to correct a wrong. A true meritocracy is the answer where no matter from where you came or what sex you are, you can get the job if you passed their key needed tests. One, I'd suggest, is caring about doing a good job for the ones you are working with whether bosses or customers. Also respecting that your job is an important cog in a big wheel. Want a job that seems more important to you, improve your needed skills.

One of the first corporations for which my husband worked (I was a stay-at-home mom) had a philosophy that later got changed by those who took over power but had not created the company. The key philosophy back then to me was that all the workers were important. A technician could get a spot on a company plane when a project needed a tech specialist if the seat was open. Can't have that came in later, where only some PR people were important. That company was already an important corporation but those who came along lost sight of a key reason why.

There is more to say on this topic, but what would come next might prove a distraction from what is above. I think it's important for citizens to consider long and hard from where they want their leaders and workers to come. 

Next week will be the one connected to age-ism and in its case-- beauty. BUT I am not leaving meritocracy, with more on it February 8th-- the possible distraction.

Old Age-isms

Looking toward the January full moon 2025 through the branches of ironwood tree, dead when we moved here.

The subject is aging. Of course, reality--  life is about aging from birth. This, however, will look at old-age aging, what I know about it and do not. To be honest, I have not thought a great deal about it until recently, when I entered my 80s. Now, that is for 'real' old age. How has it impacted me and what do I accept or try to change?

I think the most beautiful women in every sense are those who shrug off their beauty like an old cardigan and get stuck into stuff that really matters.  Liz Jones

 To me, that quote would also fits with aging. When we get old, which I don't believe happens to us at the same time, we have to both accept it and shrug it off. This business of saying, as some do, I am still a child, means that person is trying to miss the section of life that they are actually living.

The problem has been how too many worship youth and attempt to hold onto it at any cost. When a celebrity like Brook Shields lets herself age naturally with, of course, some lotions and potions, but no surgeries, people try to claim she's lost her looks. It encourages others to feel they need to go the cut and pull route. The talk of losing someone's looks begins in their 50s or even earlier. It is equated with old age.

Back in the day, I remember when I heard over the radio that Marilyn Monroe had died, I thought-- well, she was past her beauty prime anyway. She was 36... Of course, I was 18 at that time, an age of ignorance where it comes to what was life all about. I was just at the beginning of finding out.

If I am going to look at age for how we might appear to others, it would be one way, but what if I look at it for our own physical abilities? Well, actually that varies a lot too. If someone is a football hero, 35 is getting old and amazing if they can continue to play into their 40s. Baseball is a little more forgiving of 'old age' except, 40 is not remotely old age.

 

wolf full moon

I began to increasingly lose some of my physical capabilities in my 70s, but just saw Dick VanDyke doing some dance steps at almost 100. He though was not average when he was young if you've seen his performances back then. I did a lot of hiking through my 60s and into early 70s, but today, I don't do any. Is that because I couldn't or that I don't care to? I don't know the answer to that but do feel I've found other things I care more about doing-- like writing.

There are plenty of should do's in my life today but am happy they aren't about mental capacities. Those are still pretty good and for that I am grateful and realize it may not stay that way through my 80s. I haven't worked to stay agile. I still remember my mother-in-law sitting cross legged on the floor when in her late 80s, but she was already losing mental capacities. How much of that is genetics?  What we don't use, we lose. Opps-for me, not hiking.

What about pain? Do us old folks have more pain than younguns? I guess it would depend again on the person. I've had pain all of my adult life for various reasons but nothing catastrophic. Today, I might have more joint pain or in my back, but some I've had in much younger years. I never thought I had arthritis but maybe I will get it. That's the scary part to me of hitting 80, so much more can go wrong. Lots of deep breaths *s*

One thing that I do think relates to growing old, is typical of many elders, is forgetfulness. It comes around many things I always knew and suddenly can't call up when I need the information. For instance in the plant world, hawthorns, which we have at the farm, and i could be looking right at one and not be able to pull up its name. Usually it comes back to me later. If not, the internet is a huge help.

Because my family has familial tremors, which I know runs in families, as could some other things that have challenged me as an old woman. Those tremors might play a role in my lack of stability. When I need to turn from where I might be standing, say at a window, as a young woman I'd have just turned and left; now I reestablish myself before I start to walk. I do not want to fall. I have taken more than a few in my life, some when much younger and more carefree about walking. The thing is, elders end up with more injuries with a fall, sometimes a broken hip requiring major surgery. As for my feeling less stable, I am not going to explore that with a therapist as I actually am okay with the peace I have made with my limitations.

Are we less strong as old folks? It seems logical to be so. We see it in animals of all sorts. We can maybe postpone some of that with the right exercises, but all of it? I doubt it. The body wears out. Vaya con Dios and accept what is. Do what we can do, but accept we can't change it all. I do not believe that is fatalistic. I think it's realistic.

But was I as okay with appearing really elderly when I looked in a mirror or saw a current photo!!! I might have to accept that as reality, but can I do anything about it without major face lifts or Botox, which I have rejected?  

While I might not have a definitive answer, I have recently been thinking about that subject, and been personally trying a few things; hence, it will be the blog next week, at least so far as women are concerned. I think our culture is far more willing to see old men as handsome, more so than old women, can we even see ourselves as beautiful?

 Why all the photos of the full moon and our old ironwood tree? To me, they represent old age, one that won't last and one that at least has always been there. I don't want photos of all the full moons, but always want some, if we can get them, of the Wolf Moon. Ranch Boss used our Canon and a tripod to get these. It's been a month, so far, for photos.