mystery

by Rain Trueax 

The reason why I write paranormals, despite not having a clear genre where my work fits, is my curiosity as to what might be, a belief that we don't know all we think we do, and my own experiences-- along with the challenge of exploring mystery with characters where it's imaginary ...or is it? 

Mythologies, the stories through which each culture determines the meaning of life and often rules for behavior, don't necessarily have to be imaginary. They could be a remembered history and are part of human life on this planet. In human cultures, some mythologies are more accepted than others; but if it isn't in history or happening now, it is mythology and fits into the world of the paranormal-- that which (despite arguments to the contrary) we cannot test and prove by something currently out there. It is a fascinating realm for those open to wonder and open to going where questions take them.

Nature at its finest

When it's winter here in the Willamette Valley, one of the things we like to do is head for William L. Finley National Wildlife Refuge south of Corvallis. When going, you never know what you will see, but that's part of its appeal. Of historic interest at the refuge is the Fiechter House, completed in 1857-- thought to be one of the oldest homes in Benton County. 

The refuge was named for William L. Finley, an early conservationist who persuaded President Theodore Roosevelt to set aside the first national wildlife refuge west of the Mississippi River. It is because of farsighted people, where the government purchased the land, that such places for migrating and wintering wildlife exist in a time of dwindling habitats. 

There is an interesting history attached to the place, be sure and read the link under Fiechter House. It involves a killing which might have been accidental, of course... or was it? It was assumed to be at the time but would definitely arouse my suspicions as a fiction writer ;).

Many of the trails are blocked during the winter to offer the birds a protected space. They did, however, build a boardwalk that goes out to offer views of the larger of the two ponds. It was from that gazebo where we got photos of the swans which were across the pond. 

The big thing we hope for is the remote chance we will get to see and hear thousands of geese take off. It's a sound you don't forget. It is not just the beauty of these birds but the energy that makes this a wonderful place to sit and for a time just watch them as they fly off and back. This time, because we saw so many at the other end of the second pond, we had hopes we'd get lucky. We were also then ready for when it happened with our cameras. 

What makes them suddenly arise as one? Often, we have seen one or two lift off but the other birds don't go. Then suddenly it happens. Is there one leader who determines it?

When they take off in a flock, often one or two realize they don't know where their mate is, and they will turn back. I guess they get as pulled in by the excitement of that liftoff as we do in watching them. After awhile small flocks will come back and settle into a different spot on the shallow lake. These birds are not ready to migrate, not yet but one day, this practice will benefit them, I guess :).

This time, besides taking a lot of photos, we were able to make a video with our phone. It was mostly to capture the sound of their wings beating the water and air as they rise. I hope you can access it. In me, it arouses emotions of gratitude every time I am there to, for a tiny moment, share the world with these beautiful birds.

Brulé

What makes us who we are? We are born with certain genetic traits, of course, but by the time we get to my age (almost 65), a lot of things have come into the picture: what we have fed our bodies and minds, how we treat others, what we value, who we love, who we hate. Our identity is sometimes created by influences we no longer even recognize or think about as they have become so much a part of us.

For me, and I believe many others, music can be one of those influences. Are we drawn to a particular music by who we are, who we want to be, or is it what we need at that time? The kind of music I listen to varies from time to time. What kind of art am I creating? What am I writing? What do I feel the need for inside myself?

I don't remember how many years ago I discovered Brulé, but it was on a CD of other Native American music. The songs by Brulé though were the ones I kept playing and playing again. I could feel the impact of natural living, of spirit, and flesh. It has never ceased speaking to my soul.

Frequently I create to this music. I dance to it. I love to it. When I had my grandchildren here, I put on some of it for them, and my granddaughter said she wanted to paint a painting of what it made her feel. She didn't know I often do the same thing, nor did she know how much it pleased me to watch her paint a canyon with sky beyond it, wildflowers and rocks. It was very much like the music.

Paul LaRoche is the creative spirit behind the music of Brulé. He had been adopted as a baby from the Lower Brulé Sioux Indian Reservation. It was after his adoptive parents died in 1993 that he found his Lakota relatives. Meeting his people, his relatives, profoundly changed his life, his music, and from that Brulé was born. Today his two adult children perform with him on the albums.

When I decided I wanted to write about Brulé was the first time I wondered whether it might be on YouTube. As always I post the link and the embedded video because for me the videos often don't play as well as going to the site.

Buffalo Moon Brulé

Spirit Horses was beautifully illustrated to fit the music by WarriorPanther.

Alternate lives

"And if you ever held your woman on a summers evening
While the prairie moon was blazin’ in her eyes
You’ll know why I live beneath these Western Skies."
lyrics by Chris Ledoux

From the time I can remember, the idea of ranch life fascinated me. Some of that was growing up when westerns were popular on TV, some came from the books I read, like Zane Grey, but do we ever really know why we are drawn to anything? We can know we are, although it can be hard to sometimes to understand our true inner yearnings, as we are so easily distracted by superficial things that take the place of what might truly fulfill us.When my husband and I were first married, I tried to convince him he should go into ranch management. That would have made zero sense given he's a gifted techie, but he and I have come close to having a bit of that world with our small acreage, the cows and sheep. It's not the same though as big ranch country.
So for me, places like the Big Hole Valley are very popular even though, people, other than fishermen, might wonder why. There are no department stores nor major grocery stores in the tiny town of Wisdom. There is an occasional moose.
I am practical enough to realize places like the Big Hole Valley are not for those like me who are not ranch connected; and yes, I do know how hard ranch life can be. But there is another side of me, the fantasy side and when that woman comes into a valley like the Big Hole, she imagines maybe there is another part of her soul living a life there. Some believe we do that, you know. That our soul is an 'oversoul' that can lead many lives and more than one at a time.

If so, perhaps, that other me is cooking for the ranch crew, saddling her own horse to help with round-ups, listening to her children read after dinner or maybe by now it's grandchildren, and at night if she is not too tired, making love to her rancher husband. Maybe when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she lies in bed and wonders about the life I have led and what it'd be like."I gotta be where I can see those Rocky Mountains
Ride my horse and watch an eagle fly
I gotta live my life and write my songs beneath these Western Skies."
Chris Ledoux

Montana

It was 1991 the first time I saw Montana’s mountains looming above the freeway as I traveled east on I-90. The hills grew steeper as heavily timbered mountains seemed to go nearly straight to the rivers and creeks below. I felt a familiarity which went beyond the fact I had lived in the Pacific Northwest all of my life.

From the start, there was something in Montana that I knew; and as I visited historic places like Buffalo Jump where buffalo herds were driven off the cliffs to feed and cloth the Blackfeet, Salish, Shoshone and others, I wondered had I been here in a previous lifetime? I let myself feel the trails, the sky, and the hills. Was I here as a Lakota woman? Maybe Blackfeet? Or was it all imagination? Montana is a wonderful place for imagination.

I had traveled to a lot of places in the west but can't say why I put off coming to Montana until I was 48. I think I expected it to be another Oregon or Washington. In one sense, it is-- only with faster and bigger rivers, steeper mountains and less people—although the less people part is changing fast. Because of its history, the wildlife roaming free, the people who value freedom more than some places-- it's not like anywhere else I have been.

Those first trips were the years where sleeping in the van was my kind of camping. Curtains quickly clipped in place, pads and sleeping bags laid out and it was easy to stay anywhere for a night; however, Montana taught me the fallacy of that thinking one summer when I thought a fishing access site along the Yellowstone River would be lovely. It was-- except for the flies. I have never, to this day, had more flies descend from nowhere. It was like a horror move, only The Flies instead of The Birds, and rapidly led to changing where to sleep that night.

Montana has a way of doing that—revising plans. Head up a trail and see a young moose carcass partly eaten or find still steaming bear scat (big enough to be grizzly) and hiking plans change. The days when I came here with the freedom to vagabond were the most fun. Go somewhere and if the fishing was good, you stay. If it isn’t, you go where the river is higher or lower or the hatch had just erupted-- and those insects do seem to erupt. I am always on the outlook for streams with round rocks where I can wade looking into the water, along the beaches, staying downstream from the fishermen, but turning over a lot of rocks to find that nearly perfect round shape.

When I try to think of one main thing people seek when they come to Montana, I am not sure. Yes, there is Yellowstone, Glacier, the Little Big Horn, but I think most come for the experience of the wild, the feeling of freedom. You find that experience when you see bear tracks along a river, or are hiking a trail to a waterfall, sometimes even along a freeway when a moose runs across the lanes in front of you. (That only happened once but I keep hoping for a repeat—of course, far enough in front to not endanger bumper or moose.

The Lake House

To be honest, I am not a huge fan of romantic movies. First on my want-to-see list always will come stories about the western experience, then those with a spiritual aspect, stories about people growing in life, adventures with humor, good historic movies, but once in awhile a romance comes along that tempts me to give it a try.

It is not that I have seen no romances; but when I do, most of the time it will have been years after they came out. It will be when they are nearly off the oldies channels on cable tv-- an example being Bridges of Madison County, which I totally loved once I had seen it-- a good 9 years after it had been released in theaters.

My reasons for not watching romances comes down to not liking to cry my way through a film. Also how realistic are they ever to life? Actually they aren't supposed to be realistic. They are supposed to stroke our heart strings. Some are not tragic, but the potential that they will be (except for the comedy romances) is almost always part of the appeal.

So a month ago, when it first came out on DVD, I actually bought The Lake House. The reason was the metaphysical aspect of time element. How can people be living in two different times (2004 and 2006) and come together through letters in a mailbox? Well as best we know it, they can't. Except metaphysically there are those who believe all time is simultaneous and that the idea of a yesterday or tomorrow is just for bookkeeping purposes.

Usually if you get a time travel romance, which The Lake House is not, it has quite a span between the two eras and one of the characters gives up their own time to join with the other one-- or, as in paranormal stories such as The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, waits until the other dies.

The Lake House is about soul mate love through difficult circumstances, holding out for what is important, about family relationships, about questioning what is possible. With Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves as the would-be lovers (if they can find a way to touch other than through words), the lead characters are engaging and make you care. You want them to find a way past the problem of one living two years ahead of the other-- albeit in the same area. The potential for tragedy is always there. The story unfolds slowly, with a kind of grace, and yet has enough elements to consider that it keeps you from taking it for granted or becoming bored.

Does what happens make factual sense as we know it? Answer first-- is a good romance supposed to be about making sense? Will it make you cry? Well, it did me.

Love Spells

"I do not unmarry Ahab. But I marry myself. I take my fate as within."
from Sena Jeter Naslund's book-- Ahab's Wife.

When I started to read Phyllis Curott's last book, The Love Spell, I thought it would relate to the subject of witchcraft, which I intend to write about, and I knew it was about a search for a soul mate but was surprised how deeply it went into relationships and what makes them work. It was one of those books I buy and set aside for the right day. That day came; and once I began reading, I didn't want to put it down as it was so apropos to what I had been thinking and just written about-- soul mate love. I see it as synchronicity when it happens and try never to ignore it.

While I have written about the practical side of soul mates-- the friends, family, and working partnerships that can benefit from such connections, I know for most of us, when the subject of soul mates comes up, the belief is it's the ultimate love connection, the kind of story about which they create myths, poetry, books, songs, and movies.

The Love Spell is an erotic memoir which means it might not be everyone's cup of henbane tea especially if you see witchcraft as evil, have a belief that sex outside of marriage is always a sin, or are offended by reading graphic sex.

The writer is a lawyer and practicing witch in New York City, and her memoir is about a spiritual and physical search for love, to find the man of her dreams to fulfill her life. She feels something is drawing her to him. Is it a daemon, Dionysus, or James Dean? Hey, it's a modern memoir. Since she is a witch, she uses what spells and potions she believes will work to bring a soul mate to her, and it works.... or does it?

Her book begins with a quote by Rainer Maria Rilke: "Ever since I heard my first love story I began looking for you, not realizing how futile that is. Lovers don't finally just meet somewhere; they are in each other all along."

I also believe with soul mates we feel them whether we are physically together or not; and if it's a strong connection, probably very like that quote. Does that mean the relationship itself will work out? Not necessarily. But it does mean it'll be quite a ride while it lasts. Soul mate loves probably aren't ones you would say were based on practicality but rather on strong feelings that can override good judgment. (They can be confused with lust with which they have a fair amount in common as in lack of commonsense accompanying desires.)

Her book tells a story of the kind of search where you begin with the burning desire to be with someone to fulfill you. If you do meet them and it's all you had hoped, the magical time of it being everything only lasts a set time. When the clock strikes twelve, the partner better be one with whom you can get along, where you have things in common, share values and goals, or it will be over. The magic can get you there but it can't keep you there.

Although she uses ritual to try to create magic, she makes it clear such rituals cannot bring a certain person to you. Eventually she sees ritual is not required to draw the right energy. It is (as my friend said in those earlier blogs) a way to focus and that's all. She writes witchcraft could become a substitute for real experience. Sound familiar? Religions of all sorts can help us focus, get on the path, be emotionally and sensually satisfying; but if they stay the end-all, be-all, they are going to cheat us of genuine spiritual experience.

She learns that to find her ideal soul mate love and have it work, she has to be the woman she was born to be. When she marries herself, the earth, all around her, then she is ready to have a lasting soul mate relationship. At that point, being complete within herself, she would not need one; but she might still desire it which makes it stronger if it happens.

Toward the end of the book, her mentor states it well: "You can have happily ever after-- all it requires is the right person to create it with. He exists-- you're not creating him, you're sensing him. You have your soul; you'll find your soul mate. That's the journey of love."

The quote I used at the start of this, it is what I have written on the first page of my journal as something I never want to forget. We have to be our own soul mate even if we are fortunate enough to find that special love and are blessed to have a full life with them.

Soul mates

We all know the stories. Two strangers see each other across a crowded-- well doesn't matter where it is-- their eyes cross.. er meet and boom, true love is born and two soul mates are united-- or reunited if you believe in reincarnation. If one of them happens to be twelve and the other in her thirties, as were that teacher and her pupil, well we understand soul mate love. Except do we? Do we truly understand what a soul mate even is, whether it exists, and what kind of relationship it might lead to. The assumption usually seems to be that it's about romance leading to marriage, but is it?

Up until more recent times, and still true in some countries, marriage was a business arrangement often contracted between families to strengthen each politically or financially. The concept of romantic love was unrelated to permanent matings. Even where a couple didn't have parents pushing them into a marriage, more often considerations were can he provide a buggy to the family, does she know how to cook, and will they be good parents? Her being curvy or him having a washboard abdomen were not factors-- unless maybe for genetic.

Some of the idea that soul mate love and marriage go together has probably come via poetry, books and movies, but the dream for it is not recent and might be deeply imbedded. Jacob worked many years to marry the sister he most wanted (not that their marriage necessarily led to happiness) Then you have David. Was he smitten with Bathsheba for soul mate reasons or was it seeing her body nude in the moonlight as she conveniently bathed where he could see it? Was that soul mate love or lust?

Since I don't have answers for such questions, I will settle for simply explaining my understanding regarding soul mates and the ultimate (or potentially most disastrous) of such connections, twin flames/twin souls. There is quite a bit online and a lot of books out there to explain various author's understandings of the concepts, but I will settle for just giving the gist of what I have read and think personally is most likely to be true. And what I think might be wrong. Anyone who has experienced something different, please feel free to write extensively about it in comments. If your story is more lengthy than comments, put it in your own blog with a link here; or email me, and if it looks juicy enough, I'd be happy to post it here as another view.

If you don't believe in reincarnation, a soul mate is simply a person you feel a deep connection with and usually from the moment you meet them. They can be someone you work with and the two of you think so much alike. It can be romantic or friendship. Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, soul mates are not primarily about romance, sex or marriage but they can be.

If you believe in reincarnation, then these soul mate groups come together again and again and most likely began with their own creation (some say there are twelve in these groups). These may be family, friends and yes, mates. The relationships and gender might shift between lifetimes.

For reincarnation thinkers, there is another group of soul mates who repeatedly come together. I don't know if from creation but they are those with similar gifts and they incarnate in groups for purposes of political or artistic work. So you have the Ralph Waldo Emerson and the Concord, Massachusetts free-thinkers, who may have incarnated as a group many times in different creative patterns-- perhaps formed a new writer group in Montana this lifetime.

Could you have Hitler and his minions who may have done the same thing for negative reasons again and again? Soul mate patterns can be looked for in history and are fascinating to consider. Are you currently in one that is either good or not so good for you in this lifetime?

When the soul mate connection is romantic and sexual it doesn't automatically last for a lifetime. I have heard people say, when it breaks up, guess he wasn't my soul mate after all. I don't believe lasting forever is an indicator. A soul mate could come in and go back out of your life after fulfilling a purpose. You might have been wrong about him/her being a soul mate, but the fact that it didn't last doesn't tell you.

There are soul mate relationships which are karmic and temporary. They are intended to make right something from the past, teach you lessons you have managed to avoid so far, maybe finish business between two people which in reincarnation you don't get to walk away from. Some of these are very negative and the lesson is learning to walk away before you kill each other. There are soul mates who are intended to have certain children to raise them up, and once it's finished, they might go their separate ways.

Finally there is the term twin flame or twin soul which not all reincarnationists believe is true. This is the Adam and Eve story. Two created out of one. Shirley MacLaine describes how that works in her book, 'The Camino.' Twin souls are two halves of the same whole and the draw between them is very strong. Are they always meant to be together sexually in each lifetime? I don't think so. If they are together is the relationship nirvana on earth? Again I don't believe so.

The same friend who told me the story of the hawks also told me that when twin souls come together who are not evenly matched for energy, instead of the most romantic, beautiful relationship you could imagine, it can be very destructive. Yes, when they are evenly matched, it'd be the best mated relationship two people could experience; but there's that 'if' and it's a big one.

If you had a soul mate relationship with someone which worked out disastrously, my advice would be to do all you can to become the person you believe you were born to be. Work on being personally stronger, and the next relationship will reflect it. This works, of course, even if you don't believe in reincarnation or soul mates.

On the one hand, what you believe about soul mates is pretty much irrelevant. You can obviously find good relationships and be happy without having them defined spiritually. But then there is that other hand where if you do believe in them and spend your life looking for that perfect soul mate romance, the belief could be destructive and cost you a lot of good relationships along the way. Not to mention your soul mate, if you do come together, isn't likely to be perfect either-- given that would take two perfect people to make happen. Ever seen that?

(The sculpture pictured here is mine, titled Soul Mates. It is fired clay, weighs about 75 lbs, is 29"L and 22" H. I did it about eight years ago and had thought I would put it on its own stand, but the living room doesn't have that kind of space; so it generally has ended up the piano-- except when it's carried outside for photographs.

I don't do sculpture currently for the very reason that Soul Mates demonstrates-- what do you do with that many little people? Unfortunately clay sculptures that look like bronzes didn't end up being in demand in galleries. The clientele wanted bronzes and I liked best working in clay-- not to mention the huge investment in doing a bronze that still might not sell.)

dance of the hawks

About five years ago, I met an interesting woman online. We lived across this continent from each other; so we never physically met, but for awhile we shared a friendship; then we lost touch. When I decided to write about the concept of soul mates, I wanted to start with the dance of the hawks which she had described to me in one of our conversations. Sometime after she and I no longer talked, I looked out across the creek and for myself watched two hawks perform the same spiralling dance. I already knew what it would look like as I had seen it in my soul.

The day she told me about the dance of the hawks and what she saw as its meaning (her words follow), I asked her permission to paint my interpretation of it. She said yes. The time was finally right. Thank you, my beautiful friend, for sharing your vision. I hope it drew to you that love for which you were searching.

"I went to the back field to smoke my pipe.
When I had just loaded it,
a hawk flew over my shoulder
swooped right down.
It was so close I felt the wind of its wings brush my cheek.
It flew up in a spruce tree that was about 20 feet in front of me.
There it joined another hawk.

And I prayed.
Creator, show me what a good relationship is for me...
that is what I was praying for...
I was so hurt and disillusioned...at the time.
Well the hawks ascended up in to the air
spiraling around each other and singing and dancing.

What that said to me was
a good relationship is one where
if they had flown too close together
their wings would have clipped each other,
and they would have crashed to the ground.
If they had flown too far apart
they would not have created the vortex
which helped them both soar.

They were singing and dancing
and each doing their own dance
and singing their own song--
together they created a vortex."

Anonymous

The pipe I painted here is my own from Pipestone, Minnesota, which is where red pipestone is found and pipes are still carved. The place has a good feeling to it because it is sacred space dedicated to peace. Since all of the tribes needed the stone, they would go there and not fight-- even if they were enemies away from there. To walk along the little creek, to see the red stone still on the walls, I could feel its good energy-- as I still do in the pipe I bought that day.

I have yet to smoke my pipe. A person should not use sacred symbols without understanding their meaning and doing it properly. In this case one of those understandings is that once you have smoked a pipe, you encase it in leather-- maybe for the same reasons I generally wrap my Tarot cards in black silk when I am not using them. I haven't yet made a case, but that time is coming.