Choices

 by Rain Trueax

 

From the time Covid-19 hit American shores, we've been bombarded by information-- often contradictory. People have had to make choices whether to isolate, wear masks, wash hands, stay out of crowds, etc. etc. Some have gone one way. Some another. Those in care centers didn't get to make choices as they were made for them-- and not always to their benefit.

Then after the election was over, we were told the vaccines were going to be ready before the end of the year. We watched our leaders get the shot, like President Biden, and knew eventually we'd have to decide for ourselves. Yes or no for a shot that had only recently come out of testing.

To begin, I wasn't sure. We can isolate being retired, but still would the vaccination be a good idea? To begin, Moderna or Pfizer were our main options. We began to read all we could get our hands on. Because Ranch Boss is a chemist, he went to professional journals. We basically decided if we chose to be vaccinated, it would be Moderna. 

At a certain point, we decided we wanted to do it and then got an opportunity almost immediately with the early part of February. It was perfect with a "drive-through". I think I wrote about it here. We, neither one, had a reaction and were eager to get our second. Ranch Boss his got second on schedule, but I had been sick with the nightshade intolerance and depressingly had to cancel, then hoped I could get it later. That worked out at 6 weeks after the first one, I also got the second-- again with no reaction other than some redness at the vaccination site. My arm wasn't even sore as had been Ranch Boss'. 

Since then, we have been learning more . Like that the morphing of the virus has about 25% of the current cases in Arizona being that California variant. Will the vaccine protect from the dire results of getting Covid when it's a variant? So few answers for now. 

Another thing we read is it might be better to wait up to 3 months to get the second dose, to be more effective. Also that it might be better to have it be Moderna for one and Pfizer for two. Those aren't easy options to take given you usually get it through the same source.

I felt it was important that people who could, would get the vaccinations. The disease morphs in animal bodies. The less opportunity(cases) it has , the less chance it'll become a bigger and bigger problem.

Some believe the vaccine isn't helpful. Well, it does not necessarily promise you won't get it. It promises you have less chance (94%) of it being serious if you do. Still, everyone has to decide and for some, it might be too risky based on other things they already have.

For Covid and the vaccine, I have a personal story and it's why you saw that picture at the top of this blog.

My husband made a friend when he went to the Oro Valley Library writer group. He and Helmut Seifert met a few times at restaurants and then began regularly talking on the phone often for Paul to help Helmut with his book, which he had published and which was very important to his life, but they had a lot of other things in common, interest in each other's lives. They could talk hours but usually once a week.

March 2021 came along and Ranch Boss realized Helmut hadn't replied to his last text and hadn't called in longer than usual. When he went off to get his second shot (me ... stuck at home), I looked in the paper for obituaries and there was Helmut's. It was a shock as he wasn't yet 65. I had never met him due to the virus but I cried. Later that day when my husband talked to his wife, he learned the cause of death had been Covid-19. 

The story goes like this. They had had Helmut's parents living with them. His mother had fallen, could no longer do things by herself, and it was decided she needed more care than they could provide. The idea was getting his parents both into a good assisted living place. That ended up with health aides coming into their home-- quite a few. Before that, since the whole virus thing hit us, Helmut had been very careful to isolate but there no isolating from this.

Helmut's wife said when their family showed symptoms, three tested positive but she did not as she had had the vaccine (she was in the health care profession). She had tried to get the shots for Helmut but protocol denied him because he was a few months shy of turning 65. As his illness worsened, he and his dad were hospitalized. His mother had tested positive also but with a light case. Helmut and his father, hospitalized on the same floor of the hospital, passed within 2 weeks of being tested positive. His wife, even though vaccinated, was not allowed to be with him.

Was there a logical reason his wife didn't get sick other than she had had the vaccine? 

While it's true that for some getting the vaccination could be risky, for most it's not. Will it prove effective enough? Time will tell. We all need to think it through-- what will be our choice? I read that 30% of Republican men say they will not get the shot. I hope they don't find themselves exposed to the disease as Helmut did. He had more books to write...

The book Helmut had published was his dream. It encompassed a story but also what he had learned about life and wished to pass on to others. If you have ever had such a story inside you, you can understand what it meant to him when he finally saw it in print, his desire he perfect and make it all he could. It is not a romance but more allegorical science fiction. It was a book difficult to put into genres. He was working on a second when he died. One was all there was to be and here is its link. Check it out. (be sure, if you go there, to read not just the Blurb but the reviews. They help to tell more what this unusual book is about.)

Nobody's Coming

 

by Diane: Little accomplishments are reason to celebrate but..

 Monday, January 4, 2021

Today I awoke with the wonderful sense that today would be filled with many tiny accomplishments. Being a visual person I often look at the order I am creating with satisfaction. Today I saw three months worth of  daily tiny accomplishments that resulted in transforming the sick rooms into a living space for my creating art. The past week I have been sorting through the somewhat disorganized wood/metal shop, the small accomplishments were big in results.  The more spacious and organized it looked the more I became impatient to make structural improvements to the shop building.  My impatience drove me to work harder and longer than I should have when I was expecting company. Wanting to rush the shop project, I spent too much time there yesterday morning before an artist friend arrived. I forgot when she was coming and  I did not check the calendar for when she would arrive. Too early I  started on our individual art project, instead of eating lunch.  I ate lunch before joining her on similar projects and interacting about our discoveries. I feel I mucked up our time together being out of sink eating while we had planned to work. To me friendship is more important than immediately getting projects done.

A lifelong friendship

 by Rain Trueax

Oregon Coast at Yachats

There are things that a person just does not know how to write. Losses are among the hardest of those. Sometimes we prefer to let such times pass without words. Sometimes words are needed.

We have had a long time friendship with a couple that goes back to 1962 (we think) for one of us and him. Fisherman and Ranch Boss met as freshmen through a combination of working for a chemistry professor at the college and a fly fishing class. The class required taking some fishing trips. Twist their arms. From that time, they formed a friendship that lasted until he died this week. 

In the fall of '62, I met what would be my future husband from my making up a dance class due to schedule change. We were pretty instantly attracted with dating, though not going seriously for a few months at least-- neither of us remember the exact date. I though, of course, met his fishing friend through him and later his girlfriend, Diane.

The relationships processed though the usual stages from engagements to our wedding in September-- theirs in June. That summer, we got together at their town apartment to discuss future plans since both men had applied at University of Arizona to work and study for a Master's Degree. In Tucson, we found an apartment complex that suited us all (can't remember who found it either). 

From Oregon, we caravaned down the small roads of Oregon, Idaho, Utah, to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon where we shared a cabin along with our small black cat, Sheba.

 Once in Tucson, life settled in very comfortable routine. They'd go to class and after a while, Diane and I would meet every morning at either her apartment or mine for coffee and to talk for a while on politics, culture, life, art-- not always agreeing but always stimulating. Then we'd break for the day while she painted and I wrote. 

 

A painting Diane did down there and gave us for Christmas.

We each had a small patio, which they did theirs one way and ours another. The four of us played in the desert washes, even took an Easter break to rent a log cabin on the Rim (along with our black cat, of course), which led to this painting, which we have in Oregon.

Diane painted this one in the White Mountains on that trip. We bought it at a price she generously made possible for what we could afford.

Eventually, the four of us headed back north for jobs-- us first to Oregon-- later, them to Washington. We continued to get together as our babies were born. We shared interests and differences. It worked. Then he also got a job in Oregon which led to more opportunities to get together. For years, it led to sharing cabins on the Oregon Coast, going for hikes, and a lot of dinners together. And then he got sick and...

When you lose one half of a partnership like that, it's a hole out of your heart. You basically have shared your lives and done so much together-- always free to have other friends and other interests.We didn't expect it to end this way until we learned Fisherman had ALS. It is a disease that isn't easy to diagnose in the beginning. Later it meant an inevitable end. He fought it though as bravely as he did everything else. Finally it ended his life but not his spirit. He smiled to the end.

He was a good, strong friend. He contributed to the community by his volunteer efforts to help more people find joy in nature and fishing. He was a mountain climber, part of rescue teams, a scientist his whole life, and of course, always a fisherman to the very end as he shared its satisfaction and joy with others-- especially his family, which was always at the heart of his life. 

Sometimes saying someone was a good man just isn't enough to describe all that means. He expanded his life with travel and always with his life partner, Diane, with whom he shared a long marriage from being virtually kids to old age. They were the kind of partnership; where he encouraged and helped her with her art as she did him with all his outdoor interests. To say he will be missed isn't to say enough. It's a loss but also a blessing to have had him in our lives.

I decided to  create a small video of the photos we had with them. I don't have all the pictures I would have liked as most are still in Oregon but this represents part of a long friendship. Three of us go on, but he will always be part of who we are.

https://youtu.be/lho-dgzDnJs

 

We were no longer in Arizona when Diane painted this one. Years later I had told her my regret at not having one of her big cactus paintings. It turned out one of her family members was redecorating and this one didn't work. We bought it. Later we brought it back to Arizona where it is hung in the living room.

 

 

by Diane, Civil discussions are possible on issues like immigration?



GIRL JUMPING HEARTS

Sunday, April 14
             Working close to the earth, being responsible with money, observing the law, protecting nature, helping neighbors in need, being a loyal friend, morality and aproaching problems by being practical are some of Rain's values.
            She shared in her post that her childhood on a small farm as well as living on a ranch as an adult shaped her values. So quite reasonably her political view of immigration is unsurprising. Being a practical person without knowing a complete solution, Rain shared a few doable ideas for improving immigration at our borders.
    My experience as a child of a naturalized citizen I have similar values. Rain and I have more in common than not. We grew our vegetables and some of our fruit. My parents never took government assistance, father went to great pains to be sure he always obeyed the law.  Preparing our taxes was a particularly tense time.  Tax forms had to be perfect for his income and  my mother's cottage doll making business. We had no debts other than borrowing money to buy our house. Father paid off the debt. He demonstrated his value for education; father modeled the joy of learning studying advanced math every night.  He filled notebooks with mathematical formulas and his calculations as he studied theoretical advanced math books.
    There were differences.  Both of my parents were university educated. Their close friends were from their college days. We, however, lived in low income neighborhoods with mostly blue collar workers until I was in high school. Though my parents were educated, politics were seldom mentioned and discussed in our home beyond my father explaining joyfully, "The presidential campaign conventions are super wonderful". Rain comes from a family far more politically vocal.  Rain like her parents follows the news with interest and passion.  Her example amazes me. Her well thought out arguments! She has instilled in me an interest in politics. 
     I was not taught to be snobbish about being the educated elite. Uncle Fred, mother's brother, was a shoe salesman. I am not sure he graduated from high school. I grew up thinking he was as good as my college educated parents.
     Wearing my thicker skin. I am allowing my premise to fall away.  My premise being a few strategies can make a smooth bridge of understanding between the right and left. My pet experiment is a pie in the sky dream. My idea of finding a way is futile.  Left and right citizens cannot  talk to one another in a civil tone.  How silly to think our fellow citizens would take on explaining where they come from before expressing their opinions.Telling ones story is too difficult. Sadly citizens would not listen and hear how those who oppose them came to their mutually good values. I am a day dreamer thinking we can invent a grass roots level method for all of us citizens to start to turn the tide away from becoming more and more polarized. We will continue to gulp up messages that tickle and confirm our individual ever widening different views.

Monday, April 15 -16
      My spirits improved after getting an answer to this request:

"consider my invitation to a brainstorm on how to conduct ourselves in both addressing problems of children living in poverty here and those refugee children who would die in their native country and are coming in ever greater numbers. If you cannot post on my blog, send by email. I will post your input.

The answer I welcome:

It's easy: Take care of your own children and homeland first. Always. If you "care" so much, get a ticket to whatever poverty-stricken area you wish and help out. But take care of our own business first! And DO NOT steal from others so you can support feeding the world's down-trodden. If that is your belief, go for it. Without the rest of us.

My response:

      On Monday my mood improved after receiving my friends challenging response. I am grateful for my friends trust in the face that we do not agree.  Her words are more gentle then sometimes, still I feel a little defensive.  I might defensively say something that would end our friendship and dialog over the past 5 years. This blog is about civil conversation not the place for my knee jerk response.  Then I  step back and wonder why I feel guilt for not taking action beyond writing. I am guilty as I should be.  I feel I am not an asset helping at the soup kitchen like I used to.  I declined a request to teach watercolor in Belize to children at a summer church camp. Certainly I could find some place where I could contribute with doing something and not just writing and talking.  No, no! My search for weaving back the fabric of our society is a good thing to do.
      I feel very grateful of how my friend continues to correspond even though we do not agree on many things. I understand her admiration for New Yorker frankness and her dedication to volunteering. She is a good person and writer of political articles in a right wing news letter, as well as writing stories and plays. During the Carter and Regan Administration she wrote presidential speeches.  She is knowlegeable.

     Another writer of stories and plays is my cousin, Jim Cunningham who liked some of my Facebook posts.  He recently published a book of his short stories available on Amazon. He is giving all the money he gets from book sales to St. Jude's Hospital for Children.
     His poignant stories often burst my bubble and increase my empathy. A few of his stories are somewhat autobiographical. All of the stories are like stepping under someone elses' skin and leave lasting impressions.

One of Jim's stories, "Where the Mountain Meets the Plain" is about  a present day father and his son who own a small  ranch. They are among the disappearing few small family run agricultural businesses.   Perhaps their strong values are disappearing.  People of the land use to extend their helping hand when neighbors are in need - one important value that made our country great.  Jim's story says much about the goodness of people giving of themselves just like the way our nation was built. After mulling over Jim's powerful and awesomely concise story, I am sad that our old values are being tested by extreme challenges. 
        



        I hope I have been fair in my tone on my friend's response on how we should conduct ourselves so our trust continues. Jim's story brings home to me that volunteering is not like it used to be in solving problems. Jim's insights on citizen volunteering illustrates the problem with my friend's simple solution.
         Another point of my bringing Jim's stories into this blog post is story telling is best for communicating ideas.  Telling your personal story is a powerful way towards effectively beginning a civil discussion that will bring people together in understanding. If we stick to personal experiences it will be harder for alien sources to infiltrate our national dialogue around elections.
          I watched Yo-Yo Ma on the importance of telling each other our stories on PBS News Hour April 15.
"Culture turns the other into us, and it does this through trust, imagination, and empathy. So, let's tell each other our stories and make it our epic, one for the ages."

Rain wrote on a Facebook link to this blog.
Diane and I tried an experiment-- discussing our very different ideas on immigration. She went first and I followed. Our goal was to show that people can differ on important issues and still remain friends. Mostly, this is helped by not discussing those topics lol. We made an exception for the blog, which generally doesn't do politics at all.
She wanted us to begin by what in our background had led us to what we currently think on immigration; so that's what we did. Hers was... on the 10th and mine the 13th. I don't think either of us believe we have all the answers for a situation that may grow much worse if global climate change makes some areas unlivable. I don't think the world is ready for what might come and some of that is because we have no idea what it will be as much is projecting based on the past except human history is short and especially that recorded or with tools to do measuring; so it's geologic and fossils that provide data. The one thing we know for sure from that-- earth can change a lot even without human interference.

Some of today's immigrants have their situation made worse by failed or failing governments. No easy answers for sure.

  A few responses are better than daydreaming on my own. Good chance I will try to improve on my attempts sometime in months to come when using other issues as examples!