by Diane: Update 27 of mini-art respites from caregiving: Addressing changes

 I love our home especially now.  With Fisherman Hubby's neuromuscular decline, a two story house with stairs would be awful. Our rooms are large enough to accomadate all the necessary equipment to make him more comfortable.  The house is small enough to be kept clean. The largest area is the kitchen dining area. Behind the table in the center of the wall is a bulletin board where I can pin up new work. Food alone does not nurish.  Living with my paintings nourishes my need to be creative.  Currently I pinned up  two pieces on  from my painting companions.  The letter"T" composition is by an Oregon granddaughter's boyfriend. The letter "Q" composition is by the granddaughter from Utah. The Q could also be seen as the capital "A" on it's side.  The two negative areas left by the letter "A" could be seen as one piece woven behind. Simplifying the landscape into letter shapes is not easy.  I am proud of their process.

These are stressful times.  Two of my own readers said that personal stress bubbled over with strong negative reactions to this blog when some topics angered them. Or they were not interested unless photos were accompanied with explanations. They just wished I would have a blog just about Fisherman Hubby and our ALS journey.

I made an attempt to recover from a UTI and post on a Word Press blog that I quit in 1914.  It recognized me and I began to compose a blog but kept making blocking errors.  So working another blog will be a learning curve.

Maybe next week I will continue updates on my Word Press blog and then for other topics I will post here.

Fisherman Husband is needing more care and again I am seeking help.   If visiting Angels can not find help , I may try private individuals looking for work. Every day there is a change in his needs. We are accomidating so far with the help of many friends and family. We are blessed.

 

By Diane: Update #23 mini-art repite from caregiving: Clean air, clean canvases and care changes

Fisherman Hubby so happy to be outdoors after the smoke cleared. I was very anxious about him wanting to ride his lawn mower but he did well and I am now happy for him. He has more energy and a better appetite now that his digestive issue is resolved the past few days. Plus now I am back to doing less than one laundry load per day.

 

Monday, September 21

Today Fisherman Hubby is stable meaning nothing.  Maybe next week I can consider a true stability plateau.  As I write he has a new issue.  I realize that I do not know if during an excessive saliva attack is the right or wrong time to use a nebalizer.  Will the saline in the nealizer  improve his breathing?

Thank you Barbara for the gift of six canvases. I now have a large surfaces for my painting a tryptych , a diptych and a square canvas. So kind of her to give me some from her own stach. Finally this afternoon the whitest canvases have been covered with a tinted gesso.

Tuesday, September 22,

Have so much going, I did not get to paint gesso background tone on the whitest three canvases until this afternoon.  What makes me happy though Is Fisherman Hubby's digestive system is doing well today and his appetite is improving.

Looking forward to tomorrow when one granddaughter and her husband are coming to paint a little. Maybe we will get an hour of painting outdoors before it rains. Afterwards my granddaughter will take me to get the catarac replacement lenses lazer treated for a film covering them.  No more guess work reading drug labels for Fisherman Hubby.

 

 

By Diane: Update # 17 for Caregiving Mini-art Respite: Busy, tiring week

 

Fisherman Hubby is needing more help. I am getting a CNA to come once a week and the Hospice nurses have been here for us. Also, family and friends are giving us great support. And sharing memories. We are very, very thankful. It is a good life Fisherman Hubby and I share. I am so thankful I am able to offer him some comfort at this difficult time for us.

Tuesday, September 1,

Why so  tired?  Was it just last Thursday we had a family discussion or was it Friday.  Yes, it was Friday. Or was it two weeks ago Friday.  Yes, time flies. Even when over and over I am disinfecting soiled wash cloths Fisherman Hubby prefers to too small flushable whipes.  Alas, on Monday his impactment broke up. So nice and soothing to look at beauty everywhere - even the kitchen sink view..

It was last Friday that one of our granddaughters and her boy friend painted with me at a neighbor's coy pond. And will come back this Friday to finish our work. This was my start. It needs very very little to communicate coy in an infinate landscape with waterfall and distant vista.

 

By Diane: Mini-art respite from caregiving update #16: Just making plans or fantasies

by Diane

 

Thursday, August 20,

After our party, a son-in-law took this selfie. 

Fantasies of a family and friends' reunion with some of us staying at the Siletz Movie House and a boat fishing procession to a wayside park and beyond into Siletz Bay. We will celebrate old and new memories. Anybody ever heard of a portable organ we can play at the park. One of Don's brothers is looking for a portable piano keyboard. What we do all hinges on the Covid situation and we are all flexible. We might down-scale our reunion to McDonald's forest cabin.

I have many fantasies. Like keeping the house and inviting couples to stay with me  when one of them wants to just paint and the other plans outings on the ocean or rivers or mountain trails. After our meeting on Friday a granddaughter and boyfriend brought an array of his family's Mexican foods. so comforting! Enough for all and the visiting Hospice nurse! Granddaughter and boyfriend are returning next Friday to paint with me. By then I hope to have new canvases - large ones.

Tuesday August, 25th.

My colonoscopy canceled.

Don's impacted bowels are slow to clear and I am scrambeling to get him a cough assist machine so he won't need to take so many constipating medications.

The good news in addition to the ALS Association can loan us  a donated cough assist machine, we won the appeal for almost $900 for the the current respiratory devise. he uses to sleep at night.

In the very warm kitchen window I've been soaking dried acrylic paint in the jars from my palette. I accidently left the the lid off my palette Friday and didn't discover it until late Saturday evening.  So this is a good time to clean and fill my jars up high in anticipation of painting larger this coming Friday.

Between cleaning up paint jars and cleaning up poop that seeps around the impactment now I am giving away pears and apples because there is no time to can or dry them.

Now and then, yesterday and today I make headway on four old paintings that only need a few brush strokes of change. 

By Diane: My Caregiving Mini-art Respite #15: I must do what makes me happy to be good to Fisherman Hubby

by Diane 

 

      First, before calling the Hospice nurse about this weekend's vital signs and medications, I watch the bees in the wild flowers. Photograph the poppy. To overcome the washing out effect of over exposure on the poppy  I reduced the light setting in my Iphone which used to be the aperture. 

 

And pick yellow pear-shaped tomatoes. Eat a mock curry made with just plum sauce, cumin and ginger flavoring in oat milk and a tablespoon of keifer plus veggies left-overs. The Buddha bowl is with an accompaniment of a leafy green salad topped with cottage cheese. 

My mind is an escapist when it comes to current events. But a time will come when I will.

      I think about whether my Covid party painting is finished or not. My goal is getting some 3' by 4' canvases and replenishing my paint supply.

      Tuesday I picked up my new glasses.  Since catarct surgery last year my eyes settled down and improved.so I could not see with the old glasses  I looked at the painting of our grandson teaching a young child to fish. His eyes are almost done. Just a little touch on the left lower eyelid. Also the left pupil needs to be grayed and enlarged a spec.

    To be able to enjoy the nature around me and expressing what I feel in paint makes me happier.  Certainly enhancing Fisherman Hubby"s life.

    Sooner than later will be dealing with Fisherman Hubby's incontinence,  but at the same time he has made more space available as he sells his shop tools so I will have space to work space.

by Diane; Mini-art respites from caregiving #11: A week that brought us to Hospice

I can't imagine how painful it was to Fisherman Hubby to make the decision to sign on to Hospice on Monday. Saturday evening after a busy day, he fell out of his preferred chair. Luckily able to get up on his own with only a road burn to his knee. The outlook for stopping his plummeting weight loss is dim. But we won't be making more fruitless trips to the ER because we call Hospice first. 

Painting art-respites this week consist of only working on the eyes of the father making eye contact with the child he is teaching to fish. Just changing the modeling of the surrounding eye socket or experimenting on how white to make the whites of the eye takes just a minute or two on each mini-mini-respite. 

Need to respond to the Home Guardian Medical Alert System before the 7 days after delivery is up. It looks complicated. Have an insurance denial for for about $900 to contest because of a regulation that does not take into consideration the Covid closures and shortages of respiratory equipment and the reality of a telimed conference not coinciding with the delivery of equipment. And then there is the garden with tallest ever tiger lilies and glads continuously occupied by hummingbirds.

by Diane; Mini-art Respite from caregiving #10: Self Publishing

Way back in Bellingham in the late 1970's or early 80's Fisherman Hubby and I self published a manual for Steelhead fishing on a black and white zerox machine.  Time for an expanded edition not only with color but also professional binding. Technology has gone a long ways to foster creative authorship in the decades since the beginning of a book symbolic of our marriage together.

Whether or not Fisherman Hubby chooses to actively engage in the update, I hope the memories it will kindle will enrich these final days.

by Diane: Mini-art respite from caregiving update #9: A new meaningful direction

This painting might be close to finished.  It could be an illustration in Fisherman's Hubby's revised book about fishing that we did in the late 1970's or early 1980's when we lived in Bellingham, Washington. Since then he has expanded into fishing from a glass drift boat and aluminum Almar motor boat.
As his ALS prevents him from many physical activities, I hope he will join me in making a book that we can pay to be bound in a display book. Even if he doesn't feel like composing it, I am going ahead with this project with the assistance of the  Home Instead Senior Care caregiver.

This week has been very upsetting to me seeing Don suffer sometimes not being able to eat without choking or taking longer and longer to eat mostly staring at the food and not really wanting to eat more but still trying.  Don't know if he will engage in the book. Don't know if he will change his mind and accept tube feeding.  Wish us luck, yesterday we scheduled an appointment with his neurologist.

Excuse my short post I need to make sure that Hospice comes to asses us this week.

by Diane: Mini-art respite from care giving # 8; Giving up of life's accumilation followed by possibilities

Friday, July 17.

Big breath of relief, in the mail are both a long term care insurance claim and doctor's  questionnaire for first visit with psychologist who works with ALS families.  Next a  request for our Regence Medi-Care Plus plan to reconsider a declined claim for an expensive ventilating respiratory system for Fisherman Husband. Then a phone call for picking up respiratory equipment but not the right equipment.

Next week we will be assesed for Hospice Care. Maybe their help will allow his delcine to plateau and as so many do, we will go off of it.

This is all moving too fast.  Yet I see possibilities as Don rids  himself of things in the shop. I could move my bedroom studio into the shop and we could make my current studio into a placefor live in help.

Never thought I would have a big studio,
and never would want to acquire one as is happening.

by Diane: Mini-art Respite from caregiving update # 7; In Home Caregiver Assistance First Week

Sunday, July 12,

This painting, a second of the same subject was like a commission.
Trying to please the reciitant is
easier if they have a second choice.

Tuesday, July 7 and Thursday, July 9 for four hours each day, a Home Instead caregiver helped us. She did house work, cooking, meal planning. Cleaning refrigerator, preparing meals ahead and a clean house was well done. These activities are beautiful but miss, I thought the main goal of engaging Fisherman Husband to become more active and stimulated.  Since the caregiver and her children fish, perhaps she could work with Fisherman Hubby on updating his book on fishing. The floppy disks and yellowed print out from almost forty years ago surely needs refreshing.
      I couldn't get, on first mention,  Fisherman Hubby enthusiasm.  But maybe after thinking about it, he would agree especially since I would work  on the art illustration.  If not the book maybe just simply a jigsaw puzzle would break the ice between them? Or maybe I should show off the old copy  of his fishing book and show how easily books like these can be published with a hard cover.

Friday, I called Home Instead to reschedule our Thursday, July 16, morning appointment. Then I learned that she gave her two week resignation because she has another job. All my instruction on the workings of our home and garden appeared to me to be a loss - an expensive one at $27.00 per hour. What will I have her do the next 16 hours?  Frank discussions, perhaps, on how I can improve the relationship between client and professional caregiver?  Change in my goals for the investment in having assistance.  Instead of of seeing their work as only a way to get fresh from the garden food preparade. Preparation is  difficult for me to do because of  a little arthritus in my hands.  I need to think of it as more than a way to have a little more time to paint. Thanks to the help I was able to paint a memory painting of Fisherman's older brother for a niece. I spen hours painting two - much more time than a mini-art respite.
     Now I see the business relationship of the caregiver as giving companionship to me as well as to Fisherman Hubby.

Sunday, July12 Fisherman Hubby was referred by his provider's on call nurse to the ER for assesment. On the bright side x-rays showed no bowl blockage. On the down side we have far too many visits to the urgent care and the ER.

 Monday I looked into Pallative Care. He does not qualify. we would need a Doctor's referral for Hospice Care which our insurance would cover.

Tuesday, Our Care giver dug potatoes and cut them for Hubby and grilled a  prime rib which was cut up small so he could eat it  with Au Jus.  For once I could sit down relaxed and eat my very different veggie and meat lunch at the same time as  Hubby was eating.  He ate  3 times as much as when I prepare a small , tiny portion. And he did not choke.
       Later we received an explanation of our benefits from our insurance and flearned they were not covering his breathing machine. Was put on hold several times. They will get back to us later in the week because the claim requires extensive research. While on hold I put the music on speaker phone and took a mini-art respite.

This small 14" x 11" painting is still on process
Maybe more telephone holds will  be just what I need.

by Diane: Mini art-respite update #5; More Life Changes

It is so sweet and makes me feel so wonderful t
hat my grandchildren really want my art work.

What stands out to me this week is the never ending details to be worked out in planning to conduct care in place in the home for Fisherman Hubby diagnosed with late onset bulbar ALS. One of many difficulties is putting a plan in place in case I have an emergency and my Fisherman Hubby cannot speek clearly enough to the 911 switch board operator. Then getting a network armed with all they need to know in order to smoothly take on the workings of our home.
   Another detail is preparing the house for room enough for all the equipment for an ALS patient.  Also getting the long term care policy working for us to help with the cost.

Our daughters and grandchildren support truely warms my heart. My oldest daughter from Utah was here to help.  My head was spinning to direct my children to most efficiently perform many tasks. The AARP hasa wonderful booklett that has been ver helpful in covering how to manage the necessary conversations and planning  many forseeable future needs.

Failed as far as being able to paint. Instead I chose to submit five paintings to the TENTION/HARMONY Art About Agriculture competitions. Could only manage to get the information in for two paintings.

Creative cooking has been wonderful.  I am learning from my daughters. Especially keen about corn starch breading for fried /baked chicken.  My loving daughters insist that I should replace a broken stove and they purchased a ceramic fry pan for me.

By Diane: Mini-art respite update #5: Rewards and learning experiences

Another week past inwhich I did little active painting. But as always I kept looking both at nature and my paintings.

 

   My swallow paintings are in the final step in the process - critiquing.  Critiquing is slow going.

       Friday my willingness to try something new in painting spilled over into life. Once in awhile my wild ideas result with good creations.
         I learned this week that a hand towel is a perfect window cleaner when the terry cloth is  pulled from a washing machine load and is moist.  I learned that a mashed cooked sweet potato blended with oat milk, whole cow's milk, avocada and butter makes a delicious cold soup.  It is also good as a sauce with meat.
          Another food adventure was not so happy.  Instead of mixing gratted chedar cheese I substituted cottage cheese. Instead of chopped tomatoes I substituted chopped peaches.  Instead of bread crumbs I added gluten free, brown rice crumbs.  The egg held it together but the sugars from the peaches browned much too quickly. After the first test burger, I turning down the heat. I thought it was delicious but not suitable for Fisherman Hubby who would have had a hard time swallowing the partly crispy edges.
          My guilt free, rewarding, comfort foods are variations of sweet potato soup or cream of avocado soup. I made a chocolate pudding when I add unsweetened coco powder. No added refined sugar or sweeteners! Wish I had a camera to have captured Fisherman Hubby's face. I have two desserts to myself. 
           Sometimes Fisherman Hubby has too much congestion and sometimes he over doses the dryin drops and his mouth is too dry. We both agree that his menu and his meds are not working well. Maybe more convenience foods. Bring on the chocolate coated vanilla icecream Micky bars. He liked pot stickers.

by diane; Mini-art-respite from caretaking #4: Little by little return to my first intention

Thursday: Very sweet yet?  About 14 months ago, our back yard view of fields of grass reminded me of Vincent VanGogh's crows brush work, "Wheat Field with Crows", But I wanted to express joy. I wanted texture and movement.

Thanks to one of my daughters, I had some free time today to once again paint over it further building up texture.

by Diane: Mini-art respite from caregiving update #3; Where have the swallows flown?

Enjoying  feeling empowered
seeing this painting gradually develop
adding a brush stroke
at each mini-mini-art respite

Just a week ago the air was a constant show of fledgling swallows learning to fly and once in awhile making some awkward unexpected landings. Some continued to pester their parents for good eats. Less often they flew in pairs. But after I observed them for several months, I saw repeatedly a flight pattern that approximated a geometric, topological tangle - two flying around each other higher and higher as if ascending a column.
        Tuesday at 1:00 PM the Western sky turned blue, slate gray. Then one vulture flew in circles closer and closer followed by at least 12 more. Straight above the swallows having nothing to fear from vultures circled this way and that in a tangle unlike when they used to feed in pairs flying parallel one slightly ahead of the other. The vultures and a few swallows met within a close distance before the vultures veered south not advancing overhead.
       Then the storm was overhead and it rained for a few minutes.
       I can't believe it is Tuesday, June 15.  A week has gone by and all my mini-respites are mini mini. It was unusual this week. We celebrated our 55th wedding anniversary. My creativity has gone into cooking for Fisherman Hubby making sure my little masterpieces are just right in temperature, in soft consistency, right size bites, salty enough, and not too sweet. Sometimes I am rewarded when he finishes my gourmet attemps. My frequent failures are more often caught in time to improvise something else. One daughter is trying hard to make convenient frozen meals. But I am going to ask that she my meals since I do not need to be so particular about appearance. I enjoy the challenge of preparing the very best I can.
       On top of it all I have been scrambling to get someone to install bath tub grab bars into tile.


Butter crust failed - going back to part Crisco

       On top of everything else we need to figure out and practice for the hopefully unexpected event that I should have a medical emergency. Fisherman Hubby, his primary care doctor declared that he cannot speek clearly enough to explain necessary information to 911. She thought he might be too distressed to use his surface pro Grid 3. Well maybe if we practiced. Today I will steal time from my mini-mini-respite.
       Well enough writing, I am going to paint now and make a lemon merangue pie.

         Later after dinner, I can say this time the meat loaf was improved when made with low fat hamberger but an all butter crust  browned while being mostly raw. So I removed the filling and will put it on a graham cracker crust.

by Diane: Update #1, Caregiving mini-art-respite - pharmaceueudical CEOs won't like this

6" square

A more perfect day for painting outside could not have been asked for. Last Friday after not painting last week, all the steps of the painting process fell into place. My past week's observing and incubating the flight of swallows paid off for making the paint-out exceptional. Credit also goes to my paint-out partner via zoom. My phone was set on the painting table so I could hear the scrapping of the palette knife and she could see me paint. Painting together creates energy that becomes part of the painting. Rarely do I paint pictures that just take a life of their own and flow making me surprised that I could have painted it myself.
    Cloudy skies after the rain the night before cleared. The sun's heat was warm on my arms.  The atmosphere was damp, no breeze, shadows spread across the greening foliage.  As the sun climbed towards the zenith, clouds again started to gather.  The acrylic gouache remained moist on the palette. New Lascaux paints - a type of gouache with a matt acrylic finish pleased me. Especially liked the rough Ampersand aquabord used for both paintings!

        A vague comment on last week's blog, I interpret to mean that movement can be expressed on the picture plane with less than three points.  Three points are necessary to make a curve is simple geometry. If my commenter intended to dissagree because it is possible to express curved movement without three successive turning images, she is correct. . A curved direction of swallows can be expressed with a swash.

11"x 14"

       I found it simple illustrating the flight direction change of it's lowest image with swash.. At least while painting it, I was happy and felt it was complete until someone asked are those birds? So made the swish of the middle image more prominate connecting it to the more distant one with a skinny line.




18" x 24"

      Another artist said some painters want others to have their own interpretation While others are offended if their work is seen different from what they intend.  My process here of painting my perception and emotional vision means I am painting a reality I want to share like an illustration. My non-objective paintings stimulate others to see an object which I find pleasantly amusing.

Life beyond painting last week:

Fisherman hubby has a new gadget - a Surface-pro "3 Grid" app on an Ipad. It will generate speech for him. He and one daughter are customizing the files and his speech therapist tries to make changes for easier use. We are now making use of an Oregon Health Science University in conjunction with the ALS Organization virtual 4+ hour ALS clinics. The first one this week.

   The tension of  on line meetings had me so tense that I hurt all over. Then gardening and cutting a watermelon flared up the arthritus in my right wrist. I felt really tired but I started painting anyway.  After awhile, I realized that I didn't hurt anymore. Even an hours later pain free!

    Tomorrow is Fisherman Hubby and my 55th wedding anniversary. We are going to celebrate even if we have been doctoring this week.