when it does not work out...

 Because of showing some of my impressionistic landscapes, I also saw two paintings (of many), from when I wanted to try painting abstracts, but ended up feeling I did not have the talent for them as they always either ended up as 'something' or were like-- 'so what.'

I decided they would though be good for this topic of creativity because you try something and then find out if it's your thing. Failures aren't always bad, whether in writing or the fine arts. You won't know until you try.

More on writing next blog as I have something new for there.

In looking for images of my paintings, I came across this photo. It is Ranch Boss with his best friend from before he met me even. The friendship is not over though his friend died of the cruelest disease I can imagine, ALS. Fisherman, his nickname, is still missed, will always be missed. The photo was from one of the many times the four of us stayed at a beach house.

Earlier blog is below--

~~~~~

 This week I played a little with oils as I had no subject I wanted to paint. I thought perhaps doing abstracts would loosen up my landscapes. I have a lot of small canvases (Michael's had the packages of 10 on sale). Small seemed more promising than big. At least if they didn't work, I had less invested in them.

I started the first one by covering the surface with a bright orange. As my brush seemed to suggest water, the painting took off from being an abstract to a kind of fantasy sea. Well, at least the colors are abstracted. It is really hard for me to make a painting that doesn't end up being about something.

The second one, I decided to just lay in colors and then what the heck, lay in some more-- basically whatever pleased me. Between laying in the first colors, I thought maybe I'd find some ideas online for procedures by abstract painters.

The problem was I didn't like most of what I saw. A lot of abstracts just seemed to me like wall paper designs or something bright for behind the sofa. Not exactly what I had in mind but I got another idea for this one. What if I tried different techniques besides the painting. Scratching in some shapes, the feeling grew that this was a watery cave with supernatural light and symbols...

Maybe I just am not the type of person who can do non-objective paintings. Or maybe it'll take doing more.

Both paintings are oils on 8x10 stretched canvas.

 

 

Update: When Ranch Boss was helping me with some techie aspects alongside here, he accidentally deleted the list of those I like to read and advise others to check out. Uh oh. So, if you want to be on a rebuilt list, please comment here with your blog url, Frustrating how easy it is with the computer to screw up, as I've done it many times. 

Meritocracy

 

 image from Stencil and our sunset photo from 2019

After writing a blog a about age-ism, I planned on a follow-up. That was until this week hit me with all the social media talk, often on both sides of an issue, which I believe is important to a culture if it wants to succeed. It's the title for this blog.

Here is the issue-- How do we appoint or hire people for key jobs, and there are a lot of important jobs that many do not see that way. What if the appointments are based on diversity, ethnicity, and/or inclusion or should it be based in merit, ability, skills, and/or what they have already achieved? To be good at a job must they have already done it or might they prove it by how they have handled other jobs? Should it be based on skin color, sex, or from where they came? DEI gave credit even to corporations for applying it to new hires or promotions. How's that working for ya?

For way too long, our country applied a different kind of racial and sexual "filtering". If you were a black who wanted to get an important position, you had to be a hundred times better (over exaggeration) than a white looking for the same job. And if you were a woman, you could just forget it. That also was not meritocracy, nor is giving it to someone for who their family is (unless it's a family-run operation, which is their business to sink or swim). Meritocracy too often was not the key application to be used.

As for what are key jobs, it's easy to list some and none relate to the celebrity world. It's not just the obvious ones like medically related, which includes pharmacists, nurses, doctors, therapists, etc. We depend on these people to help us when something has gone wrong with our or a loved one's health. Do we care what race, sex, or color their skin is? Likely only if we are a bigot.

But also meat packing plants. Oh, you didn't see that as important? How about when it's carelessly maintained or even deliberately polluted? 

Of course, it should be obvious that fire department, police and any part of the legal system are very important for the security of a people. I use the term should be as DEI has been applied to those positions too. Don't we want a highly qualified judge if they are to address a case for us? Or does it only matter, in the legal system, that those judges have a certain political ideology? I guess that's fine if it's your ideology that we're talking about? How about the head of big churches, DEI or merit for who gets the position?

Are there any jobs more important than that of educators? They shape the future and does their merit matter or only their political opinions? What will they be teaching those future generations and will it help them achieve merit or just rely on their own DEI qualifications?

Do you like the idea of DEI mechanics? Okay with you if they are not merit based when they go to repair your broken down vehicle? Airplane repairs? and so many other jobs done by repair people of electric, plumbing, internet, etc.

I want to make the case here that DEI sent us too far down the wrong road to correct a wrong. A true meritocracy is the answer where no matter from where you came or what sex you are, you can get the job if you passed their key needed tests. One, I'd suggest, is caring about doing a good job for the ones you are working with whether bosses or customers. Also respecting that your job is an important cog in a big wheel. Want a job that seems more important to you, improve your needed skills.

One of the first corporations for which my husband worked (I was a stay-at-home mom) had a philosophy that later got changed by those who took over power but had not created the company. The key philosophy back then to me was that all the workers were important. A technician could get a spot on a company plane when a project needed a tech specialist if the seat was open. Can't have that came in later, where only some PR people were important. That company was already an important corporation but those who came along lost sight of a key reason why.

There is more to say on this topic, but what would come next might prove a distraction from what is above. I think it's important for citizens to consider long and hard from where they want their leaders and workers to come. 

Next week will be the one connected to age-ism and in its case-- beauty. BUT I am not leaving meritocracy, with more on it February 8th-- the possible distraction.

Finding A Creative Path

The image of the eagle and a dramatic sky, on an earlier blog, which I had bought some years back from Canstock, is one that inspired me. I had never used it in a cover or trailer for my books, but sometimes we need things for ourselves that help us reach out and up. Old or young, we can do that. 

The one above here is one that I personally found amusing (though likely the one who posted it was deadly serious), and that we took maybe more than twenty years ago. It is another image of the American West that some would find scary or irritating. I've never been in that store because that day we were on our way to Jerome, Arizona, but I've been in others very like it in other places in the West (that I might someday write about (if I can find photos to back up the story). Keep in mind that a creative path might not have in it all of what you expected.

We can pull up memories from our own lives, from earlier years-- especially when going through dark times. I've shown what I look like now. For the blogs to come, I'll share some of my earlier photos and memories that help me with creativity today with the hope it will encourage you to find your own soul places.

No, I am not the woman  in that photo today, well I am underneath some wrinkles and gray hair. About twenty years ago, I was her, standing there with my husband holding the camera, knowing we were staying in the motel just outside the park.

Today, it's holding those memories, not with regret that they are gone, but with joy that they ever were my reality. They can be pulled back in a time when such moments are not possible at my current age. I don't need them to be as I have the creative impulse that stays with me. Also, having been some special place, I can easily pull up the smells and feeling of the breezes, not just the view. I can use that when I write some of my books... or in a blog.

Finding our own creative path is not the same as for others. We should not want it to be, just be glad our path ever existed. The above photo is one of many we took at Monument Valley. I had always wanted to see it since it had been the background in many movies, especially John Ford westerns.

I wanted to learn more about its history, which added to the storage inside my head. I thought I'd be back, but never worked out not because of force but rather other opportunities. 

For the coming blogs, I will share not only the pieces of my life that benefit me today, but also the creative paths I follow today-- some with frustration as I deal with the march of time. 

There are various reasons why I've never set a book in Monument Valley, but I have used country near it. The Valley itself is owned by the Navajo nation, where they control access. Fortunately, visitors can drive the road and stop for many photos as we did. More good memories.

For me, the big thing is not thinking of such moments with regret. Just be glad they ever existed. Some people want to travel to Europe or other places across the ocean. I never did and turned down the opportunity whenever it arose. Ranch Boss has been around the world but always for work.

What I yearned for was to experience the American West, not as it once was, but as it is today. It is still there for those who want to look and are willing to be tough enough to spend time there-- and sometimes it can take some toughness-- to sleep under Western stars like Chris LeDoux sang about. 

We drove into the Wyoming country where LeDoux had his ranch, where Butch Cassidy and his gang had hidden away from the law. Beautiful land. I could never live there due to lack of money and not having been born there; but I could spend time there, take photographs, suck in the fragrances of sage and juniper, look at distant mountains knowing in some of them were grizzlies, black bears, cougars, and smaller predators as well as many mammals, where it is their country. 

 Again, with those memories, I feel lucky and sometimes write a book set out there. All of my books are dominantly set in the American West, the land west of the Mississippi. I've been to the East and the South and seen the beauty there too; but the West is my country, in my blood and what I most want to share with others through my books or this blog.

This link is to one of LeDoux's songs. Really worth hearing if you never have.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SDXnQj_4_4

Contingency Plan -- 3b

purchased from Canstock Images for inspiration and light

When I began this series, I had a list of issues I thought were important. There were more than I knew I could cover before the election, but covered as many as possible with simple essays. Since, I still believe I should go onto something new come November 9th (next Saturday's blog), it was time to stretch my thinking in a different way. I could pick one thing off the list, but...

• health care
• abortion
  
• taxes 
• voting IDs
  
• games/movies
• globalism-- one world government
  
• policing
• legal system
• economy
• divided country
•  environment 

Turned out, though the list still seems important, the new subject is not on it. It is inspired by what I've seen during the campaign through ads and speeches, but also what goes on in a culture as the elite side of a people, try to help the less elite do what is best... or is that what they're doing?

Before I start on the new subject, I want to say that I hope when the election is over we can let be whatever the result is and wait for the new leader to take office and begin to implement their ideas without the vitriol we've seen in recent times. 

I wish I felt more positive regarding that. Right now, I can't, not with all the venom out there, which I have personally run into-- fortunately, not here at the blog but in other social media. It is so important that we have a peaceful transition, as it was meant to be but hasn't always been. 

Having read/heard that one side and then another plans an insurrection if they lose, it looks as though violence is being plotted if loss happens. Some believe that was what the January 6th riot was. I do not think it had enough organization or smarts behind it for it to be more than a riot, which we had seen in cities across the country-- always when something dissatisfied the rioters. If though, a well-planned insurrection happened, could it work? I sure hope not. Even if it helped your side take power, how could that be good for a Constitutional government? Answer-- it could not.

Ranch Boss and I voted already, as Oregon is vote by mail; and in our case, we needed an absentee ballot for being in Arizona for the coming winter. I can't say we were happy with all our choices for ballot measures or candidates. We did the best we could for what we hope will be good for the state, country, and the world. 

It won't be easy, for either side, to not be upset if it goes against how we thought best; but it's the only real hope to continue to live a good life as well as for the community, finding any sort of unification. I don't want to be a hater for the next four years. Life is too sweet to ruin it for something we hurt ourselves more than others. If, we support a well-organized coup, those who take power will run things-- not the voters. Do we like that idea?

Some seem to be calling for a civil war. I have to think they've had no real experience with violence in their own life. Nobody should want a civil war, but instead work harder next time what they regard as a fairer result.

The subject for today, indoctrination, is important for voting wisely-- not only here but around the world as many have or will vote this year on possible change. Do we understand what change will mean? Who will tell us?

Indoctrination can happen not just with elections. Based on the dictionary, it means when an idea or belief is repeated so often it is accepted without questioning. Basically, it becomes dogma at a certain point.

When we look at history, we see what has been declared can be true or a lie-- like the earth is flat. It can lead to freedom or slavery. No one votes to become a slave, but they might give up freedoms when they don't realize it is at stake. 

We come into a season, like the US has just been having, with our own prejudices and opinions. Then, when we see an ad that fits that, watch out that we don't let it swamp any sense of reasoning we might have.

Indoctrination, which can also be called propaganda, is repeated again and again on Social Media, including sites like this one-- though I try hard not to do that. So what is a reader to do? Use discernment and even though we may want to believe an ad, still check it for truth in the supposed logic being used. 

As an example, I will use one of the more controversial issues remaining on the above list-- abortion. The ads I've seen the most frequently are on the side of protecting a legal right to abortion. The subject is emotional and very open to rage on either side. It also involves more than candidates but also ballot measures.

My problem with what I consider questionable logic is when it refers to the argument that the woman has a right to an abortion since it is her body. Yes, it's her body, but once pregnant, another body is also involved. Very tiny to begin, but it's growing and impacting the parent body. It has its own DNA, bones and organs. Does that mean she has no right to what is best for her body? I am not saying she doesn't, but that's the question, not that its our body.

Ads have argued that no man has a right to say what a woman should do where it comes to abortion. This is trying to create division and anger between the sexes.

 The other main point that ads and some politicians make is that the government has no right to impact the woman's body. Here's the problem there-- the government already impacts her body with requiring a helmet when on a motorcycle. It impacts what drugs a doctor can prescribe for her. If she has children, the government can impact her choices after they are born; and it does through social services if they are called in.

What I believe is we have to accept responsibility for making a choice to end an otherwise growing life. I don't consider it murder given the complexity, but I do feel we need to consider what we are doing. We might want to maintain the legal right, which, to me, is logical. But, be honest and not deceptive even to ourselves as to what's going on.

Now, I personally believe in early choice to have an abortion. Later, say after 15 weeks, a doctor should be the one determining the baby is nonviable, say its brain is no longer functioning. If the baby won't survive out of the womb and the mother would likely die, abortion seems a logical option. For many, opposed to all abortions, the arguments are more religious than biological.

Indoctrination does not just involve elections. Sometimes the laws are changed due to things we are told but are not necessarily proven.  When facing indoctrination, people need to think deeply and beyond emotional responses. Dogma can be very powerful.

How do we figure out for ourselves what is wise? It might be by personal experience. Today with Artificial Intelligence, we might believe something that never happened. Remember the old joke. Who you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes? Not so easy to determine right now where speeches can be created for someone who never said them.

There are many issues that we believe because of what we were told. To reach a point of questioning it all can lead to total chaos. On the other hand, to question can lead to wise choices if we look for facts.

Where it comes to indoctrination, I could list a lot more things, where I might agree or disagree with the popular stance, things I've been led to believe or don't, but I feel that's for each person to look at for themselves, as I have for myself once I felt it was okay to question. There are those who tell us to question nothing as it's ignorant or wrong. I was told all my life I question too much. Maybe so, but it's how I am and not likely to change now...

Next week this blog will move from political issues and hopefully something that will lead to more creativity and even joy. Our election will be over (although perhaps still counting or in the courts to determine winners depending on how close) with no discussions here about the results. 

The whining will likely increase, based on what I've seen so far. Will we turn to that and let it ruin our lives or find new things to inspire us? The main thing is, when we have the option, vote, wait for the outcome, then whatever happened. don't be a bemoaner-- that accomplishes nothing except angst or anger. I've voted where I lost and other times where I won for what I had hoped. Sometimes winning didn't turn out as I had hoped either. Life went on either way.

Heading Down the Road -- Or Not

Looking down my list of issues, one of them is very important, perhaps the most important for the difference between our two American parties, and probably the parties in other countries. Immigration. 

Every nation on the earth, with a few small exceptions, was at one time or another, populated by immigrants in one form or the other. Yes, there are peoples who believe they came different ways, like up through a hole in the earth, but they didn't. Those are popular mythologies but reality is adventurers, explorers, and migrants traveled from their homelands to what they regarded as a more hospitable place. 

The exception would be those who evolved where they ended up. There are several of those locations based on archaeology, but most of them also headed elsewhere when the wanderlust overcame them or their current life became undesirable. We don't generally leave places without a reason.

At a certain point, to avoid wars, countries established borders. It gave clear dimensions to a nation and rules for entering, dependent on each country's concerns. This gave stability and a system possible for governing depending on that country's values. Which, is where we are today.

Before I go into the present on immigration issues, here is my history where this is concerned. The Trueax side of my family came long ago to what was known as the New World. They came out of religious persecution.  I don't know when the first on my mother's family came but it was way back to East Coast communities. Way down the lineage, the last immigrants, my great grandparents came from Germany and Scotland. 

When people came, they wanted to be part of this building nation, speak the language, or at least have their children speak it. They wanted to be part of its future. That's what was needed back then for the many diverse directions from which people came. Of course, I know not all originally came because they wanted to be Americans. Some came as slaves. Some to work before going back from where they had come, and others as indentured servants due to debts or crimes.

Personal immigration seems a good place to share a recent photo of myself. I always like to know what the writers I read look like,  so I took this one during my 81st birthday week. This is in our desert house, sitting at my desk. One more picture is coming, after I've written about our modern immigration problem. 

One more thought, off the topic. Aging is what it is and nobody, who is fortunate enough to live to be old, avoids it even if surgeries may seem as though they fool for a while-- not worth it for me. They won't change the things that matter most in life. Nevertheless, not many savor looking old. lol It is what it is, and the old better find other things that matter more, and there are plenty. Someday I'll write about aging but today is for something else.

The issue here on immigration is only about those who did not come in legally. Immigrants can acquire legal status through the government. The US allows in, with a path to citizenship, almost 600,000 immigrants from various countries and walks of life. Yearly, we also have over 300,000 students, and another number yearly, coming in with green cards to work. The latter two generally go home eventually. I got the numbers from this link: https://usafacts.org/articles/how-many-immigrants-are-coming-to-the-us/

The problem is not them but the ones coming illegally, by boat sometimes, but most especially across our southern border. Some claim they are refugees, which they have to prove in a court hearing-- except, not all come back for it. Hence, the country has no idea from where they came, what their skills are, nor do we know if they truly want to be residents. What if their desire is to overthrow the country either by sheer numbers or violence? When you don't know, nobody can guarantee these arrivals are safe-- although it's likely most are.

Another complication is for some reason those here illegally get to cities that claim to be refugee spots and they are given hotel rooms, money, and maybe even jobs of some sort. This is all not for US citizens to know... 

When we have so many already homeless people, with no such comfortable rooms, might not citizens wonder what's really going on with tax revenues. Especially regarding our large homeless problem with people in tents, sleeping with a blanket in parks or on the streets. For those interested in the homeless problem in the US, (most recently, the number  was 653,104)  here are some statistics: https://www.usich.gov/guidance-reports-data/data-trends and https://www.statista.com/chart/24642/total-number-of-homeless-people-in-the-us-by-year/ 

You might wonder why suddenly I am posting links. It's because I read someone saying they wanted to know from where writers got their numbers. I usually said research it like I did, but not that hard to add the sites.

Here is a group that looks at the number of undocumented people living in the United States. It makes clear how much confusion there is figuring it out: https://www.poynter.org/fact-checking/2024/how-many-million-immigrants-america-illegal/

That is the problem, but here is the concern regardless of the numbers. Say we have 11 million here without papers, who are they? Some have worked hard since they got here, took jobs no one wanted, have established families, and value what this country stands for. They are not wanting to overturn the nation. 

As one man said when Victor Davis Hanson asked him at a grocery store, when the professor recognized he was an immigrant, Why did I come here? Well, it wasn't to have it be like Mexico from where I came. That answer said he wanted a stable system without rampant gang activity.

Also most of those who favor open borders don't live in the communities impacted by them with cheaper wages for workers and less housing. The violence is also more of an issue in some areas than others. Most know  about that too.

If you pay attention, you know that gangs from other countries have moved through the US to settle in many communities, including small ones, probably most for drug sales. A lot of their violence is directed at their own communities; so you don't experience that as those people do.

By allowing people to work as undocumented, they often not only get less wages, but so do those competing with them. If an employer can pay someone less and even avoid taxes, there are those who will do it

What is the answer for immigration? In my opinion it is send home the ones who recently breached the system, build a good border fence and have enough agents to protect it. Pay those agents good wages as it's a very tough job.  Then increase the number of people coming in legally to help with the needed work. Keep them fair, not under the table. 

Try to bring in those who value from where this country came, want to keep its best parts, and help improve those parts where it needs work. Encouraging immigrants to learn English, our language, is a good start. They also can, as many have, keep their original languages, but if you don't speak English here, you will have a harder time working for those who don't speak Spanish, etc. and can end up being cheated on wages by some.

So, more legal immigrants on a path to citizenship and way less illegal who we have no idea of their background or intentions. Sending back the ones who cheated in the line might be part of what it takes. Since many of them are being put up at fancy hotels, at government expense, it could save federal and states money.

Do not send back those who have been here a long time with families, having committed no violent crimes, and who have solid jobs. The ones here 10 years or more need to also be on a path to citizenship for their sake and the country's.

Well, I did say one more picture. This is my husband with me taken a few hours after the above one. We celebrated our 60th anniversary in September and both are 81. So far the marriage seems to still be working out well (with, as usual, a few glitches along the way). At our age, we talk a little more about health issues or what about after death-- cremation for both of us. When you get to 80, it feels different than any earlier decades as obviously more likely will go wrong. We try to be positive and both have our strong interests to keep at least our minds alert. *s*

 

Starting over or not...

Something came up recently about reincarnation. I've used it as a theme in several books as an explanation for how we are drawn to certain people. I've read a LOT about it, done regressions to see if I could find past lives of my own, but in the end, I am down to mystery as to what happens after we or our animals die.

I thought of something else though, in one of those nighttime between sleep times. First where it comes to beloved animals-- if they come back, do they get good lives or are they among the unfortunate who find themselves at the mercy of the cruel? Is it really better to come back if there is no control over how or where-- and that's up for debate according to my research. Some do believe there are those who track it all, make sure it's fair. I've used that in some of my fantasy/paranormal books, and it's come to me in dreams. Is it so?

 

For myself, would I want to come back? Currently, not so much if I had the choice. I was very fortunate with this lifetime. I've had plenty of angst and tears; but overall, it's been a blessed life without riches but good relationships and experiences that make me grateful for when I was born and what family and friends came into that life. The idea though of starting over has no appeal for me. I am tired and not sure that the future of this world will be one I'd like to begin again in. I imagine starting again as a baby, and think good grief, would I want do all of that again??? Do I have a choice when on the other side? Is my gratitude for what I've experienced this time a plus or minus?

When you read how some have been so abused and it's the fault of those who did have a good life, even if it was hand me-down clothes and little money, was this life unfair to someone else, who I don't even know?

 

When I did my regressions, none of those lifetimes were as sanguine as this one has been. I saw tragedies, mistaken goals, and often a shorter than expected lifetime. No queens or wealth as some claim all remember. Mine were ordinary people living ordinary lives and often ruining things by poor values. I still remember the things I saw in those meditations, with a few spilling into this lifetime, but seriously would I like to begin again... Not yet anyway. And I did get a full lifetime, which was not the case for some I have loved, where there might be more desire to get another chance.

 

Reincarnation make for a good plot for a book like Echoes from the Past where the heroine was seeking answers for her dreams. Maybe it explains some of my current life's mistakes . To have had though a good life doesn't mean I'd get the next one the same-- not based on my research and own meditations.

 

My granddaughter talked of some such memories when she was a toddler. After a while, she didn't remember them but have they impacted her life decisions anyway? Mystery to me.

 

The books with strong links to reincarnation begin with Diablo Canyon. I had that one begin from a dream when I asked for a dream that explained reincarnation to me as I'd just lost a beloved cat. The dream didn't exactly explain but it was about reincarnation. 

 

Diablo Canyon.

And then was another book, historical where the idea of a woman trying to understand her dreams led to her exploring the area in which the dreams had come. 

 

Echoes from the Past

 

 

what lies ahead

 by Rain Trueax

 

My life is about to get more chaotic, which might last through the summer (or even into fall) and makes it hard, among other things, for me to know where I will have internet. We are hoping to work something out... I can't say I really want what is happening next, but it's not bad and it's necessary for assorted reasons. I might write more about that later or maybe not. At any rate, it doesn't involve health as such and hopefully it will all straighten out with time... 

Given my own uncertain future, I thought I'd mention a couple of cultural issues, with which our country (and the world) is wrestling:

(1) Having changed things in our country has been a pandemic that nobody invited-- that we know of. What do we do about it to protect ourselves? Masks? Isolation? Vaccinations? It totally is not what people agree upon with half the United States against having the vaccine and some not wanting to wear masks.

(2) we also have a time of cultural violence-- which most of us have no idea from where that came, but when people shoot others for no apparent reason, or they come to a restaurant and demand those there leave, that's violence whether someone dies or just gets scared badly leading to other problems. How about a police force that doesn't know how to keep order as things stand-- or does anyone want order from the police? Are the police at fault or are they facing what the rest of us will eventually-- just, they are first.

(3) Not of lesser importance is worldwide desire for expansion from some nations (Russia and China come to mind). For those of you who thought kumbaya was in store, read a little bit more about what's happening around the world. Well, those trying to take over (Crimea, Ukraine, Hong Kong, Taiwan, etc.) do want one world government-- but under their control. Pay a little attention to what that would mean and it's not kumbaya.

(4) How can we not add in global warming, which some believe is behind the violence in our communities but whether it is or not, it definitely could impact our weather and food supply? What will it do regarding migration?

Recently, I discussed our decision regarding getting the vaccine. Personally, we don't have to rethink, the deed is done, I have though seen pros and cons on whether we should have gotten the vaccine. I still am glad of the choice we made. As for the rest... I literally don't know. Can we change any of it by what we personally do? Some think we can, but I am not so sure.

On a more personal level, we may not have internet through the summer, which would mean no blogs for a few months. It's unknown as the farm does not have cell phone coverage. Then, there is how do we take care of our cats with a changing environment? A lot to consider. I am working through it and will share more when I have a better handle on it.

The desert wildflowers didn't happen this year due to drought. The cactus have had less blooms. If this extends longer, I don't know what it will do to the habitat. We have given up on planting fruit trees down here and are saving any extra water for the plants on our little acreage. We can only do what we can do and we really hope this summer has a real monsoon even though we will miss it by being in Oregon (which is also drier than usual as it seems the East Coast is getting all the rainfall).

Protecting us...

 by Rain Trueax

In the middle of the night, I had this post written perfectly, knew exactly what I wanted to say... Come morning I only know the gist of it; so it might be a short one if I don't get into it.

Standing Alone

 by Rain Trueax

If you've had enough politics, here is a good place to stop reading and come back next Saturday, which I promise will not be about politics. Today, I am writing about the last week and what I am thinking. I didn't want to do it; but you know sometimes, even when you know you will lose readers, it's important to speak out. I no longer belong to a political party. Until 2018, I had been a lifelong Democrat. I just had enough of them both and am now unaffiliated, where I figure to stay. I do vote. I have always voted. My not belonging to a party means I don't see things like either one, which was always true but just became a bigger deal as things began to change on issues. Whether I left the Democratic party or it left me is a valid question. Some could call the change progress.

What we can do

 by Rain Trueax

If the United States, we didn't have enough pain thrust onto us, fires have become a new attack on the West Coast. We got some of that early this summer when Tucson had the Catalina Mountains hit with lightning and then a long lasting fire that raced across the mountain and led to some evacuations-- as well as smoke that made being outside impossible.

Then came the California fires, also started by lightning to begin. That was followed to what is happening to Oregon with fires destroying small towns, homes and priceless  buildings that even if they can be rebuilt, it'll never be the same. And as I write this, the conflagration is not over. More after the break---

natural and tribal living

by Rain Trueax

While some talk about redoing our culture, they often speak of less freedom rather than more. They would limit what resources we could use, where we could live, how we could live, and take us to more of a city environment where control is by the ones they choose to have it. The US is going through a big shift as to where it all should be in terms of the control. The argument is-- what is required in a changing world? What makes life better for more people? It goes a step beyond to debate-- what is more important-- the individual or the larger community?

What I like, and have for many years, is to see alternative ideas and especially owner built homes. In Oregon, I have a lot of books by people who built their own homes in very 'unconventional ways'. The problem is, to do this, you have to get beyond zoning and be able to do their own thing, often very organic. Closed cultures don't like that, and the places this can happen are dwindling-- even in rural areas. Controlled societies want structure and where people can live must be approved by zoning. We learned for instance that we could not live in our RV on our own farm property. To fix up what had been my parents' mobile home, where they lived on a hardship exemption until they both died. For us to fix it up, to live in it now, would require permits not always easy to get. And this is a rural county in Oregon.

There are, however, a few places where people can do their own thing. Some become Wild West but some, like communes, are very structured but the rules are made by the ones in the commune. 

This California YouTube fascinated me for both the earth built home but also the communal approach to how to live and what to share. I don't know that I'd want to live in one, but it has always had an interest for me-- depending on how it was structured. I came across this because of my interest in tiny homes. It's worth your time to watch, I think, as whether one wants to live that way or not, sometimes there are ideas to incorporate. It is both artistic, natural, and about sharing in an organized way while still respecting the individual.

a bonus post and a different view

by Rain Trueax

Because I got this from Facebook, I wanted to share it widely. As countries and states open up, each of us will need to decide what that means for our choices. Do we go back or do we continue to self-distance? If it's a job, where we have no choice, do we demand protected working conditions, some changes that take the virus into account?

Having all the facts helps us make those decisions. That means hearing diverse opinions and weighing which seems best for us. Below is a different opinion from something I posted earlier. I believe it's worth reading. It made sense to me and pretty much is what I have believed is my personal choice when governors lift the various bans. 

One thing I have learned from my many years of following what should or should not be done. Experts constantly change their minds or disagree with other experts. In the end, it's your life and body. Get information and don't be afraid to look at different ideas for what might be best. Then make a choice. If you click on Read More, you will find what I consider to be a reasoned and non-partisan view of the situation.

Road trip for us

by Rain Trueax

at its farm home 

Road trips come many ways, and we've done most of them at one time or another. They can be driving between motels/hotels. Camping with a tent works when the travelers are younger and don't mind setting up every night. I've seen those who get from Point A to Point B in one long day-- 24 hours driving with changing off drivers (we haven't done that one).

When it came time to leave Tucson, there was no choice for how we'd spend our nights. That choice had been made in January when we came down with our 26' travel trailer and four cats. Seriously, even motels that allow cats (not a lot of them), four? Not likely. Besides cats don't enjoy motel rooms-- too many smells and sounds.

From the time we had gotten to Tucson, we had debated what route to take north. For a while, we thought-- Utah and make it into a vacation. Lots of beautiful scenery in Utah. By May, we knew that was too many extra miles, not to mention the heat and our cats. Nevada is a way we both like, but there are fewer places to eat, stop, or refuel-- especially since we have a 14 year old diesel truck. Any possible problems would have limited options for getting a fix-- and we've done that too, been on a trip with a vehicle that was in trouble. 

In the end, we decided on the shortest route (still 1400+ miles to the farm) right through California with freeways most of the way. We planned to spend 5 hours or so driving and needed parks where that would end up. We researched and made some calls.

Weather impacted when we'd leave in a way it wouldn't so much have had we been doing a motel trip. Pulling a trailer when it's windy is not much fun and heavy rains also make driving more difficult. Since California was getting some of that, we waited. We considered leaving when it would involve driving through Memorial Day. Calling likely RV parks found them already booked.  We could have left the Tuesday after it, but I wanted to stay as long as possible, as despite the heat, I love the birds and time in our Tucson home. What was the rush, I asked, knowing much of my concern was that we'd no longer be subsidizing the quail families. 

Ranch Boss called the guy from whom we buy hay. They weren't cutting until later in June, which eased up the pressure. He brought the trailer around to begin loading and then ran into the A/C problem (read about it in last blog by me). So June 1st was finally when there would be no more delays.

The advantage of a trailer is every night, you have new views out the windows; but when you get set up, you are in a familiar home, one with all the basic necessities.
  
Our first destination was Bouse, Arizona. The drive wasn't bad for traffic; and we got to the park, Desert Pueblo, about when we expected. The uncertainty would be how it would be for inside temps with outside over 100°F. As soon as the cats and I got into the trailer, Ranch Boss plugged us into electricity. I clicked on the A/C and crossed my fingers. It was hot. To reduce the direct rays, he put out the awning. The cats and we settled in and got things organized. It cooled off well-- not down to the 70s but the comfortable 80s. We were pleased.

Bouse sets in the midst of barren desert and mountains. Rock hounds, miners, sun lovers, and those who want freedom from the dominant culture come here. In the winter, it's full of folks, many boon-docking in the hills, to be even farther from others. There is a VFW hall, Octoillo Lodge and Bar, Family Dollar store, and little grocery store. The RV park looked like it had a few permanent residents but some had left their rig there and would return when the intense heat let up-- October probably :).

People in RV parks are a mix of travelers like us but some who live that life permanently either on the road or in one place. I like YouTube vlogs where some of the full-timers have channels, a few make their living that way by sharing their experiences with those who might like to do it or are just curious as to what that lifestyle is like. I don't see myself ever being a full-timer, but it would have appeal to me. I get to do it vicariously through those who do.

The older, lean guy, who managed the Bouse RV park got us a spot with some shade from tall but sparse eucalyptus trees. He was friendly, had three or four little dogs, lived in small, bright yellow rig. In his cowboy hat, he looked like a true desert rat, a term I use with affection. Those guys know a piece of terrain in a way most of us never will.

In such places, Ranch Boss gets out more than I do, as he does the hookups and sometimes walks around. RVers ask each other questions about their rigs, where they are going. It's kind of a communal system with similar problems to discuss. For me, I stay with the cats and what I see is out the window or what I hear. I like a quiet park.

Saturday morning, we drove into California over the Colorado River, passed though Earp, which is an unincorporated kind of community, where Wyatt and his wife did some gold hunting every winter. We passed through the California border crossing, where they only ask about fruit. That might change if the state really secedes. They may not care who crosses their southern border but to protect their agricultural industries, they don't want pests arriving (Oregon makes all pulling boats to get inspected to protect its fisheries). 

The road west and then north between Bouse and Needles is two lanes with more of a desert highway's whoop-de-doos.  Alongside, there are many signs of old lava flows, not what a person tends to think of where it comes to that stretch of desert. Mostly the traffic was sane, the pavement in good condition, and we chatted up all the issues we could think of, as week-ends aren't days to find talk radio, something that helps pass the miles on week-days. From Needles to Barstow it's mostly four lanes and seems to last forever, with little to comment on beyond maybe Peggy Sue's Diner-- no pictures of it.

Before we left Tucson, we had called several places to see if we needed reservations since it was a week-end.  We had made one at a park, which shall remain nameless, where we'd stayed before. By eleven that morning, we both felt we'd like to get farther. We called them to cancel. Their policy was we had to pay for the whole night anyway-- even if someone else rented that site. It was worth it to us to get farther, and we reminded the nice lady that their policy would discourage anyone calling to cancel. It wasn't her decision or fault. Next time though, with that particular park, we will not reserve until the same day when we know for sure where we'll be.

Saturday night, we made it to just outside of Bakersfield and the Orange Grove RV park where we'd stayed on our way down. Very nice park, many sites, and I highly recommend it for ease of access and quiet. A/C was again essential as the temps were over 100°F  but pleasing in the trailer after the A/C took it down. That had been an 8 hour day, the longest we did the whole way but given the quality of the road, not that hard on us. When we were younger, we'd do 14 hour days. We discovered with age that led to getting somewhere with our backs bad and needing a week to recover. One of the nice things about traveling with a trailer is long days on the road aren't required.

One big plus for this trip was for the first time getting set up where we could get the cable that all these parks offer. Someone might say-- you watched TV when in your trailer. Yes, we did because we had a lot of time there thanks to the shorter travel days. I don't do as well with the computer there, since unless we will be somewhere for more than a day, it's not worth it to set up my little desk with the split keyboard. Once Ranch Boss figured out how to make it work, it was nice to be able to check the news or opt to watch a movie at night as we would at home. Most of the parks offer a nice selection of channels but we mostly only watch the news or Hallmark for its movies. 

For internet, most parks offer it but we generally depend on our Verizon hotspot. The quality of the internet in parks varies and there is the risk of going onto a 'communal' line.

Sunday, we finally got onto I-5 and once again thought there is not a rougher freeway possible in the section below Sacramento. There would be smooth sections but mostly it was just rough. I worried most about the cats with such jostling. We learned that every overpass or bridge would be rougher than the highway on either side-- not sure of the motive for that. 

Literally, the stretch of road just north of Stockton is the worst highway imaginable. It jostled our trailer so much that the steps, even with a bungee cord holding them up, were knocked down. Fortunately, we were almost at our next stop in Lodi, and the RV park we had stayed in while driving down-- Flag City. These people had been nice to say they'd hold a site for us without our needing a reservation. People skills is always a plus when dealing with businesses that cater to the public.

Because we'd forgotten how to get to the park, we went out of our way and saw something we would see several times while traveling north-- a gypsy caravan. I don't mean that as ethnically but a group of people with rigs and semi-trucks, traveling together for who knows what businesses. That one had 7 rigs with it and some of the people were walking between them. They weren't the last we would see on the road. The other thing it reminds me of is Grapes of Wrath.

The freeway improved as we went north. We had also stayed in that camp before, out of Anderson-- JGW RV Park, right on the Sacramento River with no neighbors right on top of us.  When we can get one on the river, it's very relaxing. I found myself singing Moon River, when I was alone, of course. The cats didn't mind.

Another short day took us farther north and Yreka, with the Waiiaka RV park. The people there were especially nice. It's connected to a casino, which we didn't visit. They even came around that night to offer us fresh popcorn. The park had nice big trees and again was quiet. 

We had decided to give ourselves one more night on the road, and this time we'd have to drive farther off I-5, the first time we went more than 1/2 mile. This site was called Twin River Vacation and was on the North Umpqua, just east of where the North and South Umpqua join up to head to the ocean.

Getting to this park was amazing and we want to go back as there was one winery after another. Pretty farming communities and then the river. The park itself was big trees with grassy areas between rigs. By that time, we were well past the worst of the heat, but we did use the A/C for an hour or so.


While on the road, we only had one restaurant meal that in Yreka from the Black Bear. We hadn't had chicken fried steak in years and found it on their online menu. We figured the portions would be such that we could get one dinner. It was more than enough. One of the big pluses with an RV is not having to eat out. It's more relaxing and keeps us with the cats; so they don't feel deserted.

This is not wilderness camping. It is staying with water, electricity and sewer when we wanted it. It allowed us to use the A/C freely. Basically with fees generally under $50 and being home as soon as we stepped up into it, trailering is a good deal. In California, vehicles pulling a trailer have to go 55mph. I like that as driving fast makes me nervous. The trucks are also supposed to go 55 but a lot don't. They do though not go 75, like they do in Arizona, which can push a rig around when they pass. 

Other than some bad pavement stretches in California, we had good highways all the way, more 4-lane than the last trip, as they constantly are upgrading roads because of all that is sent by truck in our country. The photo above is heading toward Mount Shasta and a pretty typical view when traveling. Trucks go in bunches, it seems and they come on us like a pack before they go right on past and we'd get a little break. It makes a person very aware of how vulnerable we are as a people where so much of what we need to live is on a freeway somewhere.

My Artist Life While Aging

One of the boxes of my mother's creative sculpting and her automated doll's violin.
Her display dolls from the 50’s are represented and documented in the Rosalie Whyel Doll Museum in Belleview, Washington.
 I also wrote an article in Doll Reader Magazine about how my mother made me feel growing up as her doll creating partner.
 I am humbled by how well she made doll making a shared family involvement. She even extending her sharing her skills in an leading a Girl Scout interest group in which we casted our own clay sculpted puppets for Jack and the Bean Stock characters.
 She introduce me to plein air painting as a group activity with other children in the Big Sur Camp Ground.

At age 75, as a result of my mother's nurturing and my continued involvement in art, I am grateful to her for my now having the most productive and creative period in my life. I am filled with joy and thankfulness. Yet, I am aware that my elderly years are precious, much more than the selling of the art I make. So I am immersing myself in the process of creating as opposed to marketing.

The paintings accumulate.

 My priority to do lists includes making an illustrated Power Point catalog containing all the work  ready to be exhibited or sold. Will it be enough for my heirs to have my art well documented with catalog numbers and my statements?  Maybe at some point I should seek on line painting sales and gallery representation taking a load off my heirs? Or finding more places to donate it?

My husband and I do less and less of the things we used to do. We no longer belong to a roller skating club,  or a mountain rescue club. We do not snowshoe, or camp in a tent while backpacking to name a few of the ever growing list of things we no longer want to do. So my husband is home with me more with all our toys taking up space. Even when we got rid of a few toys like a couple of Model A's, my art encroaches on  my husband's shop area.

 I am looking for another artist who can use some of my unneeded art paraphernalia. Some of  the art media I have been fortunate enough to have experienced recently is paper making. Paper making was a short lived family activity. Other remnants of media that I am giving away include bookmaking, ceramics, batik, mosaics and cement garden sculptures. I am having difficulty thinking about giving up oil painting. I am starting to paint in oils now that the weather is nice but this might be the last season of oils if the watercolors without glass becomes my primary medium.

Years ago faced with a full shed of her decades old disintegrating latex dolls, I selected a few more permanent tools that reflected her creative process.   I kept a plaster mold for casting  and her books that instructed her hoping they would become family heirlooms. Maybe some family member will want to use Margaret Widler Doll heirlooms in making installations or even videos or what can be imagined.

As an artist I see my life in phases. When I was a very young child painting was all about the doing of it. The result did not hold my interest. In the in between years I saw myself as the maker of a product that would please a teacher, or someone who might buy it. Now I still care about how the work looks when finished. Caring is central to the process. I care that my paintings satisfy me. I hope  to involve the viewers of my paintings in the process seeding their creative drive as well. I've come full circle doing art for the sake of the experience of being in the present, always learning and really seeing.

Paper making paraphernalia in my husband's shop.
 I want to give away all the paper making stuff plus cotton paper pulp I have used to strengthen recycled paper.