Beauty Standards... ?

Currently, due to tragedy after tragedy in the United States, some from before Trump and some after, with people throwing out anger every which direction to blame someone, it might seem strange that I'd write about this. Well, this is always with us and the other things come and go. They are maybe more important than how we see beauty but they are also very 'flame throwing.'  I had written this earlier and said I'd bring it out. Here it is. Whether later, I get into the blame game, I don't know, but I do have one more that will be political for next week. I myself am concentrating more on one of my older historic books, which I am enlarging from a novella to a novel (or so goes my plans) because there is more story to tell. For me, writing is a good break, since I have no real solutions for my country given we just voted... And, many want exactly what is being done. So, here comes something that is more for how we see each other- does beauty matter? Should it matter?

12 years old school picture

After years of having mixed feelings about how I looked (more on that below), when I turned 80, when I looked in the mirror-- oh my gosh how did that happen? Ithink because of my skin type, I hadn't earlier needed moisturizers, etc. Except, did ignoring all of that end up where I was in that mirror.

To be honest, I had been told most of my life that I looked pretty good. You know how that can be-- others say one thing about your looks, but you see another. As a child, well, that photo at the top was me in 7th grade where I had no idea how to dress, wear my hair, or do makeup. There are more awkward photos from childhood years.

By the time I got into high school, the toughness of my school for kids dressing well, I had to work on caring and accomplished a lot of it through second-hand stores. If children wear makeup too early or sexy clothes, it's not good to many. But to have no clue what is attractive, that also is not good. Plus, there were so many standards back then for length of hems, and you absolutely could not wear pants to school.

Here I am today, when I began to not only think--- eek, but also what am I trying to do here? Look younger? I was definitely not at my best at 18. I used to say most women reach their best at 35, but now I think it's in their 50s, when they have maturity added to their features. This though again, is for women who have interest in such and many do not. Bless them!

As for this business of surgery, it's definitely about trying to look younger. Frankly, it doesn't work for most. They just look plastic. They lose out on what mature beauty might appear to be. Can we let go of a youthful look and find other ways to feel good about our physical looks? 

I don't even know what hairstyle is supposed to be youthful. It's been a long time since I've cared. When I was in my mid20s, I was at a stylist to have my hair trimmed and he said no woman should wear it long ... past 30. 

Over my many years, I've varied the length of mine but never short since high school.  Pixies look cute on some women. I don't think they would so much on me but it's not the reason I wear mine so long.

To begin, I let mine grow long in my 70s-80s, was curiosity. I wondered if I could. I enjoy the feel of long hair on my back, I cut it myself with long layers. I have gone to salons for perms but frankly, retired as we are, cost is a factor in not doing it. I've never had a pedicure or manicure, but that's personal preference to not liking my nails colored because, if you are an active woman, they constantly require maintenance. I used to do some polish at home before my tremors got so bad. Like, how many places to I want that color to end up???

Another thing, a woman whose blog I read, said one of her commenters said she should not wear jeans. That is just ridiculous to me-- wear the clothes that suit your interest as why do most of us have a reason to be high-styling, even if we could afford it. Does that make someone seem more attractive? I can give a few names where it doesn't in the celeb world, but I won't. 

After I saw some recent photos of me, most taken with bad lighting, too many shadows, and bright sun (that's an excuse but not a good enough one) I got interested in some simple things to try and improve my elderly skin, things that are not that expensive or invasive; since I am not trying to turn back time. Still, keeping my skin healthy looking with less droopiness, bags, or big lines, well, I am into that. If you see me making weird faces, they are facial exercises :). which help a lot to keep a chin and neck from losing it.

Some of what I am trying are like facial peels, which is supposed to encourage  the skin layers and encourage collagen development . Exercises help with the muscles under the skin. Everything I use can be in the home. I don't have the money or interest in expensive answers.

To me, the big thing is being able to see someone is old, but that they still have beauty. The alternative is surgery or maybe Botox, which I don't trust any more than I would Ozempic for weight loss. Humans always seem to want the easy answer. I suspect, given side effects, there is no easy answer for any of it.

Just had a ton of photos taken by Ranch Boss to get my Passport renewed with a current picture, but it kept getting refused for an online renewal. The one they finally accepted was an eyeopener for saying-- I don't care. By the time, we had success, smiling was no longer happening, and frankly, smiles improve looks a lot!

When you see that many photos of yourself, necessarily without photo-shop (Passport claims they can tell), it really makes you SEE yourself and in ways you'd rather not, generally speaking. It led to my interest in having beauty be a topic here. Why do we care about it? Should we care about it? Worse though, to me, is should we care about youthful looks? That one I know we should not but how to get past it in a world that makes so much of it? It's all up to us in our own lives. I know that much as the celeb and advertising worlds won't let go of it.

Repeating-- here's the thing I'd like to have Americans and really people around the world be able to see-- women,who look old, can at the same time appear lovely to us. And not just to be polite, but genuinely see the two things can go together. As it is, all the goals to increase beauty appear to try to send it back to the woman's 20s, which by the way, are not women's most attractive years, at least for most of us. Cute works better for me where it comes to young women.  It takes some maturity to create what I consider beautiful in a woman. 

As a writer, what was frustrating is the need to create a cover with a beautiful older woman. It takes a lot of searching. I like writing about elders showing that romance can still happen. but there need to be more images available to buy if there are to be people on those covers. I finally did it by finding a head one place and an historical garment another for a new creation. Fun to do actually, but I'd love it if some of these models, as they age, could continue being out there. The world is not just made up of young people doing things. 

As I said in the earlier blog, this appears a bit easier for men to be considered old but still good looking-- although I also had to buy one man's head and another body for one of the covers. Of course, maybe the companies know only the young ones get bought. This whole thing might be more a thing of society than in ourselves. Looking old should not be negative but rather just part of a long-lived life, and it should not require surgery...

Old Age-isms

Looking toward the January full moon 2025 through the branches of ironwood tree, dead when we moved here.

The subject is aging. Of course, reality--  life is about aging from birth. This, however, will look at old-age aging, what I know about it and do not. To be honest, I have not thought a great deal about it until recently, when I entered my 80s. Now, that is for 'real' old age. How has it impacted me and what do I accept or try to change?

I think the most beautiful women in every sense are those who shrug off their beauty like an old cardigan and get stuck into stuff that really matters.  Liz Jones

 To me, that quote would also fits with aging. When we get old, which I don't believe happens to us at the same time, we have to both accept it and shrug it off. This business of saying, as some do, I am still a child, means that person is trying to miss the section of life that they are actually living.

The problem has been how too many worship youth and attempt to hold onto it at any cost. When a celebrity like Brook Shields lets herself age naturally with, of course, some lotions and potions, but no surgeries, people try to claim she's lost her looks. It encourages others to feel they need to go the cut and pull route. The talk of losing someone's looks begins in their 50s or even earlier. It is equated with old age.

Back in the day, I remember when I heard over the radio that Marilyn Monroe had died, I thought-- well, she was past her beauty prime anyway. She was 36... Of course, I was 18 at that time, an age of ignorance where it comes to what was life all about. I was just at the beginning of finding out.

If I am going to look at age for how we might appear to others, it would be one way, but what if I look at it for our own physical abilities? Well, actually that varies a lot too. If someone is a football hero, 35 is getting old and amazing if they can continue to play into their 40s. Baseball is a little more forgiving of 'old age' except, 40 is not remotely old age.

 

wolf full moon

I began to increasingly lose some of my physical capabilities in my 70s, but just saw Dick VanDyke doing some dance steps at almost 100. He though was not average when he was young if you've seen his performances back then. I did a lot of hiking through my 60s and into early 70s, but today, I don't do any. Is that because I couldn't or that I don't care to? I don't know the answer to that but do feel I've found other things I care more about doing-- like writing.

There are plenty of should do's in my life today but am happy they aren't about mental capacities. Those are still pretty good and for that I am grateful and realize it may not stay that way through my 80s. I haven't worked to stay agile. I still remember my mother-in-law sitting cross legged on the floor when in her late 80s, but she was already losing mental capacities. How much of that is genetics?  What we don't use, we lose. Opps-for me, not hiking.

What about pain? Do us old folks have more pain than younguns? I guess it would depend again on the person. I've had pain all of my adult life for various reasons but nothing catastrophic. Today, I might have more joint pain or in my back, but some I've had in much younger years. I never thought I had arthritis but maybe I will get it. That's the scary part to me of hitting 80, so much more can go wrong. Lots of deep breaths *s*

One thing that I do think relates to growing old, is typical of many elders, is forgetfulness. It comes around many things I always knew and suddenly can't call up when I need the information. For instance in the plant world, hawthorns, which we have at the farm, and i could be looking right at one and not be able to pull up its name. Usually it comes back to me later. If not, the internet is a huge help.

Because my family has familial tremors, which I know runs in families, as could some other things that have challenged me as an old woman. Those tremors might play a role in my lack of stability. When I need to turn from where I might be standing, say at a window, as a young woman I'd have just turned and left; now I reestablish myself before I start to walk. I do not want to fall. I have taken more than a few in my life, some when much younger and more carefree about walking. The thing is, elders end up with more injuries with a fall, sometimes a broken hip requiring major surgery. As for my feeling less stable, I am not going to explore that with a therapist as I actually am okay with the peace I have made with my limitations.

Are we less strong as old folks? It seems logical to be so. We see it in animals of all sorts. We can maybe postpone some of that with the right exercises, but all of it? I doubt it. The body wears out. Vaya con Dios and accept what is. Do what we can do, but accept we can't change it all. I do not believe that is fatalistic. I think it's realistic.

But was I as okay with appearing really elderly when I looked in a mirror or saw a current photo!!! I might have to accept that as reality, but can I do anything about it without major face lifts or Botox, which I have rejected?  

While I might not have a definitive answer, I have recently been thinking about that subject, and been personally trying a few things; hence, it will be the blog next week, at least so far as women are concerned. I think our culture is far more willing to see old men as handsome, more so than old women, can we even see ourselves as beautiful?

 Why all the photos of the full moon and our old ironwood tree? To me, they represent old age, one that won't last and one that at least has always been there. I don't want photos of all the full moons, but always want some, if we can get them, of the Wolf Moon. Ranch Boss used our Canon and a tripod to get these. It's been a month, so far, for photos.

It was snowing

Living in the desert, there is one certainty-- nothing is certain. Are we in a drought? Is the weather changing or is this how it's always been-- shifting sands, so to speak. 

My experience with desert life began in 1965 and then off and on since then, where we vacationed there with our young children; and finally, in 1999, bought a small home centered on a little over an acre of desert. We didn't live there year round given we still had the livestock and property in Oregon to manage, a life to live up there, but also a place in our hearts in the Southwest. 

We still divide our time between Arizona and Oregon with no clear idea of what will end up for us in our old age... Uh wait, we are in old age, both of us turn 80 later this year. It's not that we don't recognize we are old, it's just we love two places equally but can't keep going between them forever... but we can for now.

That brief history was to establish how often we have been in the desert and seen snow falling. It's not a common thing, but it happens probably more than some imagine. Never as much though, for us, as we saw this week when the snow fell enough to turn our world here white. It's kind of thrilling to get snow when it's rare-- and when we know it won't last long. 

We had heard the predictions. Wednesday night, around 10pm, we saw it was lightly covering the ground. When we got up at 4am, it was coating shrubs and ground. Ranch Boss went out and got a few photos as we weren't sure how much more would come.

When it got light, we saw more than there had been. 3" to be approximate, and it coated everything with a glistening coat of fluffy snow. The branches on trees were bent over. As far as we could see, our world was white. More photos were taken, and now I am going to try to share some to show the details and the landscape. 

Not easy deciding which as to see the cacti with snowy caps is definitely unique. For a while, the world was light and dark. Then the sun returned to turn the sky blue as the clouds began to depart. By around 1pm on Thursday, most of the snow was gone on our property and the plants had regained their shape-- snow was only to be remembered and in photos. 

 

changing times

 by Rain Trueax

 

'Tis the season for holidays. A good time of the year, if you can forget about politics and just concentrate on your own life. It though also can be dicey if family and friends are a long way away or in a time of plague. Some families are broken apart and even before politics got into the mix. When things aren't all as one would wish, the need is to go deeper into making our own little piece of earth better.

Bird watching is always good when the weather cooperates. I can spend several hours just watching them as they interact. We have a fence between us; so that our cats can also be outside but not bird hunting. The fence makes photos trickier but takes away none of the joy of hearing and watching. I love having the cats with us but safe from bobcats and coyotes as well as being caught up in cacti barbs.

serendipity and a sculpture

by Rain Trueax

Now and again, I talk about serendipity and how I welcome such times. Well, everybody welcomes such times since it means an occurrence or series of events that play out in a beneficial way. Kind of a lucky chance. Serendipitous times are nothing I can predict, nor will I have done anything to make them happen. Often they are little things.

Beauty, Truth and Love

by Rain Trueax

Denton Lund giclee, Echoes of the Old Ones, now hanging in the bedroom

While I don't generally discuss politics here, the US has just been through one of the most brutal election seasons I can remember-- and that goes back a long way. For many, the attacks weren't based on issues so much as evil vs. good; Nazi vs. Communist; stupid vs. smart; and on it went. The attacks were not just against a candidate but against anyone who voted for him.

Those of us in the middle tried to keep our heads down to avoid being hit by the shrapnel as it flew from both directions...

A catalyst

 by Rain Trueax

Spirit of Tatanka by Denton Lund - giclée

There might have been more divisive times in history-- we already know there have been, but they have not been in my lifetime. What has been going on felt bad when we were in Tucson; then, we had a little break (for us) as we drove north. Being on the road takes a person away from news or anything but road conditions and how the park will be for the night. 

Back up here, at first, there were things to get done-- sheep shearing, getting in the hay, concern over how low the creek is (lowest we have ever seen it in 40 years), family stuff-- and that all distracts from what is going on in the country.

Now though... Yeah, we can't avoid it and don't like it. So the question for here is-- what can we do about it? How do we take enough deep breaths to feel better even though stuff is happening we don't like. Frankly, that happens on either side of the partisan divide. 

Part III: Diane Widler Wenzel on How I Hang the Pictures I Paint

A general description of a painting studio is a work place for painting fine art. I seldom work in my mostly storage for painting studio.

In Part III the bedroom storage studio contains a large selection of easy to find paintings. They are assessable whether I need them to hang in a gallery outside the home or for experimenting with   throughout my home. In the doorless clothes closet two storage bins are on wheels so I can pull them out to for the paintings on the sides and back.


The small studio work area gets messy but I know where my watercolors, acrilics, oils, brushes are more or less. Also some of my tools for hanging pictures are on the shelves below like the studfinder, hardware for aluminum frames, hooks and screw eyes. Sometimes the tape measurer is there or where I was last using it, but can most likely be found in the kitchen drawer which also contains the hammer, plyers, wire cutter and screw drivers. Behind the workbench not in the picture is a step stool which often is a neccessity in hanging pictures since I am short. The pictures on the wall with pictures is wall storage. The antique grade school first aid cabinet contains ceramic pieces and collage items.

The open  storage cabinet is also on wheels important for a small room. I have plenty of wall space for paintings and a bulletin board for notes on coming shows, inspiring quotes, and reproductions of favorite works by other artists.

The cabinet has doors that open to a top shelf with new and used sketch books. The middle shelf has my oils and some framing supplies. The lowest one holds a wooden box for hauling paintings currently filled with framed paintings under glass ready to take to the next venue.

 

 

The clothes closet is converted to storing two rolling open cabinets for storing paintings and other supplies. The metal shelves were purchased from a family who used it as a pantry. The top half has finished work of mine and other artists and below I sort whatever papers that are in process.

I feel blessed to have a husband who is not only supportive but provides for my life as an artist by building art stuff and giving me space in our home and time to paint. My working painting studio where I actually paint is any place on our property indoors or out where I can hang a painting and set up my painting stuff.  Often I look at a once finished painting and think of a new direction. So I haul out my paint brush and add a stroke or two of paint. Most often I paint on our patio or I roll back the tablecloth from the paint drop cloth underneith.

 

In conclusion to this three part series I hope to interest at least one person to be more adventurous. Fearless enough to ask what if and then follow their instincts.  Buying or making paintings, then starting to bravely pound hooks into their walls in places they hadn't considered as ideal.  Then leaving empty wall spaces to compliment their groupings of paintings. 

Being creative is natural, satisfying, challenging and never complete. The feeling when overcoming the frustration in learning to master a new skill is very much the feeling felt from being a fine arts painter with a rich creative development.  In addition, I have found that I can be a continuously prolific painter in a limited space.  The thinking behind collecting and hanging paintings can be just like the thinking process of a painter.

Part II, Diane Widler Wenzel on How I Hang the Pictures I Paint.

I couldn't be happier with last Sunday's  lunch with visiting family to celebrate 120 paintings hung at home and then the public art opening at Albany Public Library's main branch.    A sister-in-law commented,  " I could hang way more paintings than I ever thought I could. "  upon seeing how I hang groupings between large empty spaces.  One of my daughters wanted a grouping of 3 paintings from the corner fireplace installation in the dining area. The home celebration and reception made me feel loved by my supportive family and friends.

Part II of how I hang paintings continues with examples of how empty spaces around the paintings are important to their effect on us.  Also covered are my experiments in hanging solutions in the dining area and the entry from the kitchen to the laundry room.

Dining with Paintings that Contribute to the Room's Ambiance

Below is Don eating and a panoramic view of the green paintings that he sees from his side of the table. I selected for him green, his favorite color. Green is clean looking and soothing.

Below is Diane and a panorama of what she wants to see - a cozy corner:

Walls of three entries frame paintings.
From the front door the eye is apt to look beyond on into the dining area with busy activity and also paintings.

From the kitchen entry to the dinette the view includes empty wall space.

The  hall from the back of the house. 

The cool colored green paintings and white matt make the warm colored collage dominate the grouping. The collage is suppose to be the first thing seen.  Then looking at the collage the eye is directed leftward by a  shape pointing to the warmer colors in the green paintings, thus the eye moves around this grouping. The green vertical painting with a black matt counterbalances the warm collage. For me this group works. I hope that it works for others. Purhaps the reason Don slows down as he eats is because he has some greens around him.

To frame or not or hang out from a corner?

Two of the paintings and the collage are framed with oak frames made by my fantastic partner, Don. The paintings that are unframed work better in a grouping?  Or do these frames isolate them acting as obstacles preventing the eye from moving from painting to painting?

I feel none of my groupings have to be perfect because my hangings are works in progress. I am learning and do not know all of the answers. I like to ask, "what if," as I decide the next grouping.

 

An innovation for me is to draw attention to corner paintings by hanging them so the sides are on opposite walls. The kiddy corner arrangement makes them more dominant especially when walking down the hall from the back of our house.  From down the hall the left side wall is at too much of an angle to see what is happening in the paintings hung flat to the wall. Corner paintings work less like windows on the wall and more like a three dimentional architectural fixture that I have difficultyillustrating in a two dimentional picture.

For the coldest wintery nights we remove paintings close to the fire box and keep a fire burning.

 Paintings are clutter busting by creating distance in tiny laundry / fly tying / utility room.  

In this cluttered place I see the painting before the clutter. How about you?

After adding a painting with deeper dark green depth to the wall behind the sink,  there is a greater sense of depth. I feel less cramped.

Because of the humidity of the laundry room I do not leave pictures here for long periods especially during the winter. 

Rotating paintings is a favorite way to get inspired for making more paintings. Some of the ones I will be rotating are stored in my studio.   I will show my studio with storage cabinets in the next blog, Part III, How I Hang the Pictures I Paint.

covers and titles

With my work in progress having taken a hit due to outside forces (let me count the upsets we've faced as citizens of our country and of the earth), I've been writing but doing more with re-creating book covers. Writing a first rough draft requires control over a period of days (for me), and this summer has had limited time for that. Stuff happens, and that is a fact of life.

Having control over the covers is one of the pluses I receive for being an indie writer. I can do them myself, buy them already made, or hire someone to make them. Amazon offers a create your cover app that lets you use their tools to create one. For some writers, the choice is impacted by finances; but in my case, I like doing covers and have done them from the start using my photos, digital techniques, and purchased, royalty free images. I've had successes and failures-- and likely that will continue to be true.

Currently, after redoing the cover for Arizona Sunset, first in the Arizona historicals, I became interested in doing them for my novellas. I had the fourth in that Arizona historical series that had a banner in the middle. That is what I wanted as a way to set the novellas apart from the full length novels.

As part of the process, Sonoran Christmas, also got a new title-- Frederica's Heart. It's eighth in the Arizona historical romances. Sometimes, when a book is written, I am caught up in writing it and miss the deeper message. That was the case with that novella. It was set during the Christmas season, but it wasn't really about that as much as two people who had given up on finding true love and then... well, that's why people read the book.

The cover started out to be simple with a landscape. Next, I tried the couple, but nothing quite worked until I decided to go with the energy-- her fine culture and his gun. This was also their conflict, of course. Neither was quite who the other thought-- that's pretty typical of any intimate relationships in my experience.

In creating a title or cover, the problem is always how to get across what the book is about. In the next one, the novella follows a longer book, From Here to There. The couple's marriage started off a little badly-- with the bride asking for an annulment before the reception. The book moves from Boston to Montana and ranch living is at its heart along with the romance. 

A Montana Christmas continues the story of that family and takes that couple into what is effectively a long epilogue (novella at 27,000 words) about family and can it be healed when things have gone so wrong? Christmas was the right season, and I know a thing or two about ranch living, having lived on a small one for nearly 40 years. If you are interested in family dynamics and what ranch life is really like, you might enjoy this book. It isn't a new romance, although a new one is possible from some of its characters in the future.

The cover I had for A Montana Christmas was okay, but I like better this one that mixes the hope she feels with the work that never ends on a ranch. I used a purchased image for her, with photos I'd taken to create a painterly app for Montana ranch life.

Even in Yellowstone, it can be the little things

Having been to Yellowstone quite a few times, enjoying each visit, this July trip, we went for the little places-- not the main tourist attractions. These don't all have names but they have the same beauty as the major sites-- just smaller, with less people watching their shows.

It had an advantage of being quieter-- well, the little want-to-be geysers did gurgle.

Photos are all in the geyser basin but not where the big parking lots are.

You look out across the horizon and it feels like another world-- a world of creation and new beginnings.

A little hot spring can also have a tiny geyser, but hey, maybe someday it might be as impressive as Old Faithful-- or will it disappear?

 A few are named-- Pink Geyser.

For me, to be in the geyser basins feels like the earth speaking out-- creation in its essence.

You wait and never know what you will see.