an internet discussion

One of the things I love about Netflix streaming is the ability to choose something that feels good at the time. We had their rental DVDs for years but often by the time they'd get to us, I'd have lost interest in the subject. Streaming has less documentaries but still enough to keep us finding something almost every night with varying subjects.

My personal favorite has been nature series, most of which have come from BBC or so it currently appears. Some are better done than others, but I like this glimpse into the animal world where the films are put together (of course, not always as they happened) to create an interesting story.

One of our cats, Raven, is very much into nature documentaries and watches avidly. One night, she tried to get behind the TV screen to find that bird. It's as much fun to watch her reactions as the films. I do wonder what she gets from the images.

I know they are so good for me right now as a way to not think about the news. We are bombarded by both true and fake news-- and it's up to us to sort out which is which, as fake news can appear on what have been regarded as mainstream media. 

One person I finally had to unfollow again puts up stuff from a series of twitter people who espouse the ultimate in conspiracy theories regarding Trump and the GOP. I went to the trouble to look up the names of those it is claimed are reliable sources. One had been a chick lit writer before she became an investigative reporter-- from England, who knows all the FBI's secrets and what is about to go down. When it doesn't, this 'friend', who is her own fake news source, goes onto the next imminent take down. She is feeding at the tit of revenge and joy at someone else's bad news. I have no idea what this is doing to her health-- but it wasn't doing anything for mine even though I had enjoyed her other posts.

Some try to make sense out of our times by using logic. Is that possible? Many are living with the fear that climate change, a terrorist, an illegal immigrant, or some new disease (that returned from the ice) will take us all out. Frankly, for me, the rabid fear talk gets old and yet I understand the trauma they are feeling with a time like ours. How do we discern truth?

A long time friend of mine used an analogy to show what might be our problem. She posted the following in Facebook:

Today I had the pleasure of enjoying a visit from one of my nieces and her 3 year old, Brigitte. From observing Brigitte I learned a lesson on how we adults learn to see differently. Brigitte loves painting and already can name a number of colors like red, yellow and green and even brown but confuses black and white. 

At first I couldn't see why. Then I came to an extraordinary realization. With primary and secondary colors the hue saturation is usually strong enough to be recognizable whether the surface is in strong sunlight or shadow. With black surfaces depending on how shiny the surface the parts receiving the most light reflect white appearing gray. The gray shine color can also pick up some bounce colors from surrounding objects. With white shadows take on the compliment of the sky and sometimes bounce color from near by colors. 

We adults have been taught to think black for objects that absorb all visible light waves because we know that despite what our eyes are seeing the object's constant surface color is black. Same is true for white that reflects all visible light waves. The child will learn to judge similar objects in the same way as adults repeatedly tell them the surface color is true color. The truth learned here is we see what we know.

If you have not studied color theory in a painting class, I fear I might be talking in a foreign language. Seeing the connection between color theory to our total opposite way of seeing Trump as president may be difficult even if you have some painting experiences. James Burke's visual presentation is less technical and has a strong historic basis. I feel gratified recognizing examples that support Burke's thesis.

Burke says all cultures have guarded the truth as they see it with the strongest weapons of their day. Individuals like us live in a challenging time where the only constant is change. Strongly recommend "The Day the Universe Changed" from Netflix.

My friend and I've had many conversations through many years the only difference being this one is at Facebook. I responded and said basically:

If we can react to changes, we can succeed but if we constantly look for what makes us comfortable, we will have to have a catastrophe to make us wake up and it might be too late. I don't think the color analogy works as more than a starting point because life is more complicated.

We've been watching some nature shows, where the animals instinctually know where to go and with exact timing-- for what always worked before. We see it with migratory birds. Humans have an instinct too but more we are taught and early training can be most significant with it being difficult to move beyond it to new ideas.

Right now humans have SO much info that processing it becomes nearly impossible where sources that some count on for absolute truth, are not-- but are presented that way. Since political ideology is often remote from our lives, through stories we hear, it is even more complicated.

Personally, I find it particularly frustrating because I don't want to have to come to a conclusion right now as to whether, as some newspapers and 'experts' say Trump is insane or, as I see for myself when he talks and what he's doing, that maybe he's just doing it his way and not what they want. Currently to not believe he's clinically insane is to be isolated from left wing groups but to think he might have some mental issues (that currently aren't serving him well) with how he deals with things is to be isolated from right wing groups. It is a black or white time-- and someone better be able to tell the difference...

It's not possible today to discuss politics with many people. This has formed people into exclusive cliques and woe unto those on the wrong side. For many, on both sides, to try and discuss alternate views is like that wave crashing on a rock that will not be moved by anything but catastrophic forces-- political discourse just doesn't happen. How can it if you believe the other side is trying to destroy the world! For many, the world is black and white. Anyone on the wrong side is not respected. The end of reasonable discourse, polite agreeing to disagree, is sad. I'm glad it's not gone everywhere-- yet.

on the in or the out?

 photo from August just because it's pretty

Do you have dreams that have you scratching your head and wondering what that was about? This one was from a week ago.

Living in a kind of apartment building (one I don't recognize), I want so much to be accepted by a groups. I don't really know why I am not, but my life, even when in the midst of others, feels lonely and closed off. I reach to them, but they never reach for me.  I am chosen for nothing. I recognize it's like my high school years all over again.

Wanting to be accepted, I show one of the group's popular leader a piece I had written praising their newest project. I had written it to overcome my jealousy. I am looking for attaboys that I am not admitting. I invite her to my apartment to read it before I publish it.

She is nice, reads it, and then looks up with an uneasy expression before she looks around my apartment. She says, 'I sympathize with you-- but you do understand why you are not part of our group?' When I don't answer, she says, 'Look at this apartment with dirt on the floor and the windows haven't been washed ever.'

I try to make an excuse. 'I've washed them. They're not that bad.'

She then looks at me and says, 'How could you fit with us?' She shakes her head. 'You're such a plain little person.'

'Well, I'm not little.' I was fully aware that was because I was fat-- as I try to not cry. I manage a smile that I don't feel. 'I need to take a shower.' 

The woman nods and leaves, heading back to her fans and friends, while I head toward the shower and a sob fest, but instead wake up. 

When I woke at 2am, the dream was strong in my mind, and I wondered what it meant? Not all of my dreams have meaning, but some are trying to tell me something about my own life. A few can be used in a book.

In this one, my muse had chosen a woman I know only from the Internet. I think she represented all the ones who are on the inside, the ones with whom everybody wants to be friends, the ones chosen to lead, those who decide who fits and who does not. Women like that aren't necessarily the mean girls like the movie. They are mostly likable, funny, and admired--including by me. They just don't see me as fitting and not sure I can clean up whatever blocks me. 

When I left high school, I thought I had put behind me the insecurity of cliques. I've found them a few times since, like in our rural church. Mostly in churches, the inside clique is the one supportive of the leadership. Maybe that's true for the Internet too-- except, there it's harder to figure out who the leadership is. 

In my experience with the Internet, through chat rooms to Facebook, I've seen that some are in on the joke, and they have everyone laughing while I am still trying to figure out what the joke was. 

Facebook allows and encourages many groups. To  some, anyone can belong. Others are very exclusive. Are cliques just friends with common goals? They can serve a purpose beyond that and work to gain power, promote causes, or sell something. Cliques can be a problem mostly when they have something someone outside needs. My dream reminded me of aspects of cliques that probably still bother me subconsciously-- high school swings a wide loop. If I was inside one, would I feel guilty or uncomfortable, given the price I might have to pay?

I have believed that dreams can be useful in letting us evaluate what we are doing, our fears, our ambitions. I thought more about this one than many as I tried to see if there was some part of my life that I'm not cleaning up. If so, is it getting in my way to furthering deeper goals.