Upping Your Game

image from Stencil

One place, where for me, my life comes together with fiction is in writing. My books are, of course, total fiction for the characters, what happens to them, but it blends together my beliefs on life as I have lived it. I have seen what works, not only for me, but for others. How could that not influence my writing? Likely does for all those who write fiction. Of course, those who write non-fiction claim their books are true-- even if some will see it more as how they want it to be, than how it is.

It leads to this blog and its subject, which is on the title. It's how, I believe, we benefit most from life. Some get somewhere and they are stuck there. Maybe not stuck but figure they made it except made it to what?  I was talking about this with my husband and later my brother, who have worked all their lives in what I'd call expertises. 

In Ranch Boss's case, it was as an engineer, a technician, someone who figures out problems to fix. Following is one good example of how it worked for him. In the corporation where he worked, a technical problem arose, maybe more a breakthrough than a problem. He didn't know much about it. What then did he do? He studied with reading a lot of technical books in that area and then took an online class to refine what he knew and could use. He upped his game. He actually did that many times in his career and even now when retired.

Then with my brother, who is a mechanic with a gift. He ran into a new problem with engines. He could have sat back and expected someone else to take care of it. Or said, it's just how life goes today. Instead, he got books and studied what it would take to fix that new problem. He upped his game

Upping my game recently where it comes to my writing, one of my novellas (27,000 words) seemed finished. Fine story as it was, maybe even more popular where folks like shorter reads. The thing was that I had the opportunity to upgrade it to more story, more character development, and I went for it. This one ended up 82,000+ words. Now, it's a full novel, or will be when it comes out maybe in May or June. I upped its game and mine. 

I didn't know if readers would like delving into the deeper more challenging aspects of a relationship, as well as more action. Well, it's what this book now offers. 

When you bring two people together, who come from different worlds, it can take some doing to make it believable that it will yield a happy ending. I saw the extended potential with these two characters and wanted to have the enjoyment of writing about it. In different ways, they each had to up their games. They didn't do it to entice the other person, but because the relationship allowed them to see who they truly wanted to be.

It is not changing to fit, but upping your game. Upping your game is being more of who you actually are. To me, upping your game is to feel proud of yourself, not because you have to. While, it could work out that you got a better job because the boss saw you upping your game and admired that quality of worker. Could be, but I don't think it's why it's part of a satisfying life. You do it for yourself.  In most every type of work, there are ways to up your game to feel better about what you're doing.

If you are out in the world and have to look good, upping your game might mean going to used stores to improve your wardrobe, when you can't afford new. I know about that as I had a very stylish aunt who taught me. I needed to up my game in my high school as a lot of the girls dressed really well. I couldn't afford what they probably spent, but used worked and who knew the difference. Kind of fun to bargain shop too.

I see a lot of folks who get somewhere in life and expect it to hold them there, until the end of their time. Some could get to thinking-- that boss is mean and does not deserve me to improve myself. Well, the job might still stay there, life could indeed go on, but a culture is better off when more folks up their games. There even is a New Testament scripture that fits this scenario: Matthew 25:14-30. I know not all look to the Bible for wisdom, but I'll bet you can find similar beliefs in other scriptures regarded as holy.

It is rewarding to look around for new answers and ask the question-- what would it take? It is good for our own body, brain and emotions, rather than being like Scrooge in the novella, A Christmas Story, where he wants to hold onto what he thinks he has. He found out otherwise for true joy in his life.

Guess what! And you know this one. We actually have nothing material from earth that we take with us when we go... just our souls and what we have done with them. So, up your game.

 February 23, 2025 -- Nikon CoolPix P900 camera -- photo by Ranch Boss

What is mental illness?

 When we hear about mass killings, the next we hear is it has to be mental illness. It must be someone insane. I think that's at least partly because we can't imagine anyone doing such a thing, who was totally sane. 

When I began to think about how mental illness impacts violence, I thought somewhat the same. Until, I researched technical papers that said of all the mass killings in our country (numbers in last blog), only 25% are linked to a past clinical diagnosis of mental illness. 

That led to another question for me. If that is the case, what is mental illness? Well, according to these articles, it's schizophrenia, bipolar disease, major depression, and assorted other things that impact quality of life. 

Of course, even with the numbers being 25%, how did they get their hands on mass assault weapons when buying guns requires background checks? Well, the issue anyway, with such a diagnosis-- most people with mental illness are not violent. One article claimed that in 2020, 20% of Americans have been clinically claimed to fall into one of those categories. Obviously, 20% of Americans are not committing violent crimes.

The other thing about 'legit' mental illnesses is that you don't get off anyway, if you get violent. It takes being insane, which means the perpetrator does not know what they did is wrong, hence does not fear getting caught. That does happen, but we can see from what we read that it's not the norm with mass killings. Many of them kill themselves when it's obvious they can't kill more innocents.

The desire to commit suicide fits what another article I read claimed as the main reason for mass shootings-- either by their own hand or that of the authorities. 

I don't actually buy into that theory as the main reason for their violent acts. I think other things fit the reason better.

So, if not certifiable mental illness or desire to commit suicide, how come so many instances of violence? What leads someone to commit a violent act, whether a mass killing or of family members or loved ones?

The next reasons given are what I group as behavioral: nihilism, emptiness, anger, noteriety. We have to find that based on social media postings, friends, or families because as soon as someone is charged, defense lawyers get into the picture and make it difficult to question the assailants, assuming they survived. This is supposedly about them not incriminating themselves, the Miranda Act, but come on-- many of them have been clearly identified by survivors or photos. To me, this becomes a sad act that prevents a culture from more clearly understanding why these tragedies happen. (Obviously, I am no lawyer; so this is my view as a citizen, you know what we used to call commonsense.)

Looking at the possible behavioral reasons, I will start with nihilism, which means life has no meaning. What the heck leads someone to feel that way at an age old enough to commit these massive crimes? Is it in the family? how about the community? Schools? Media? Or if they are middle-aged, what in their life had led to that feeling of emptiness?

In my personal life, I have no experiences that would have led to a feeling of hopelessness. Was that because I grew up on a farm, where you sure see a lot of death and suffering but you adjust to it. Life has tough
elements but hard work is what you have to use to get through bad times. I learned that from my parents, who both outworked me and never let me make an excuse.

Same thing with school for me. I got good grades but because I worked for them. I began first grade in a two room school with no buses to deliver us. That meant, I walked a mile and a half since my mom did not drive, and dad worked nights into mornings.  The walk from the school went past some homes, a dairy, then open farm land, timber and eventually through more timber to get to the top of our hill and my home.

For the first grade, I read all the second grade work before our district consolidated and there was a bus with a bigger school. I had to redo all that second grade work as the bigger school had no ability to skip ahead with the work. I have heard of kids who feel bored with their school work. Maybe the farm life helped, with just going through it.

So, I have no experience to know  about a feeling of nihilism, even though I grew up during the Cold War where my bigger school had 'bomb shelters' to go to in case of a nuclear attack. Seriously, that's what we were told lol

Again, back to that feeling of emptiness where I just can't get what would cause that or anger for that matter. I had some things happen that could have made me mad, but I just took it, felt disappointed but can't remember being mad at the one who caused the hurt. 

As for social media, again no experience at all. We only got a TV, black & white with one channel, when I was already in school. Not a lot there to entertain kids, not yet anyway.

And, where it comes to wanting noteriety. Heaven forbid. I am an introvert, which means not wanting too much attention. Stay in the middle worked for me, then and now. 

Was I lucky when I grew up? I have often thought so. I think today's kids grow up with a lot more awareness of what can go wrong... maybe. I did read though that most mass shootings aren't kids but middle aged men. What went wrong for them? What can we as a culture do about it before it happens and innocents pay the price?

Blaming someone else for everything that goes wrong doesn't seem like a good way to grow up. Are schools doing too much of that, some schools anyway, and not enough of the basics, like reading, writing, mathematics, history, and once upon a time how to cook and sew for girls and do wood and metal work for boys. Maybe too sexist for today's world? Well, let the kids choose whether they want home skills or shop abilities. Why not?

Somewhere, we need to let kids find a sense of accomplishment and purpose, ones that let them feel proud of real skills, ones that make their world and the ones around them better-- and that means middle-aged men who are still blaming others for what they must find in their own ability to turn it around when they work for something that can make them feel fulfilled, instead of blaming someone else whether someone they think let them down or a stranger.

For those wanting noteriety, how about less publicity for the killers? No photos (unless they are needed for a capture) and minimal information; it's not a lot. A concept that fame comes with doing an evil act has to be knocked down. 

I realize that's no real answer probably but it's all I've got. Does working for what you want seem too simplistic?. You might be surprised how that turns out. Also FBI needs to take more seriously tips, for which, they request and then we are told they sometimes ignore. We need a place for those who are threatening-- before they do it. Try to turn their thinking around. It wouldn't hurt if we stopped admiring old time outlaws as if we don't want modern ones, why act like the old time ones are kind of heroes.

Okay, why the cat pictures. Because, this week, literally last Saturday, we adopted a shelter cat. We had two cats after having lost one a year and a half ago; we decided it was time for us to expand our fur family. The two cats haven't agreed. They are adjusting, as is Luna, a tuxedo cat, our new addition. We hadn't intended to get another black cat, well, Luna is a tuxedo but mostly black. We fell in love :). Hopefully the other two also do, eventually. Last Saturday was not fun for us or the cats. lol

I thought pictures of cats would maybe lighten the blog here as this is a dark topic, with currently no answers for the horrible tragedies, that impact all of us when we learn of them. Although the US has the most, other countries have experienced the tragedies with different weapons. Some say it's all about guns, I don't think so, since many weapons are effective ways to end lives. We need to get at the WHY, and do something to redirect these troubled souls, beforehand.

Purpose in writing

 

In a book's first pages is the ground on which all the rest is built. Who was this person? Why should I care about them and read their story? From where have they come? Why would a reader believe they might have something interesting ahead? As a writer, I ask myself the same questions. I will be putting a lot more time into these characters than it takes for a reader to read the book. I need to care and believe in them.

If the writer jumps right into the action, will the reader believe in the character’s abilities or reasons? There are, of course, books, with no real plot-- just a constant stream of thinking or talking with no seeming direction. Some people love such books. For me though, I want meaningful action in mind for what I read or write.

I also like hidden motives, characters who realize what they really want through time, based on what they experience; for me, this goes along with some fast action, and yes discovered love. My books are romances, but that alone wouldn't interest me. I want a reason for what is about to happen-- a reason I believe is possible. It's not always easy, but that kind of writing is the most rewarding-- the hidden purposes.

When writing about writing, it has to be from my perspective including some from how-to books that I have read. I often have ideas germinating for a long time before I begin writing. Writing leads to more ideas. I try to give that time to happen.

Although I never say the story takes over, I do discover things along the way, things I hadn't seen until the story begins unwinding. I never outline but do have a clear idea of where the story will end up. What I see to begin is not always what is real. All of my stories are fiction, sometimes with a real character or so inserted, but fiction has to feel like it could happen to make it powerful-- at least for me.

Look at the bougainvillea flower below. Most would assume it's the bright red, but it's not. It's that tiny white flower in the middle. The red is leaves. Discovering the unexpected is the joy of creating.

changes

Hard to believe that it's already October. It's been a unique year for me-- living in a vacation trailer for half of it or thereabouts. That will end but not sure when exactly. It will depend on when the chores at the farm are finished or as finished as is possible right now. That is more about Ranch Boss than me.

My big decision is whether to continue this blog or let it go into hibernation for a while. I won't close it down no matter what i decide as I did that years back with an earlier blog and had the title taken over before I got back to reclaim it.

Pretty definite is Diane will not be back with the blog as she has found other ways to communicate what she is doing. I never actually did that with Rainy Day Thought, as for me, it's been about ideas. I don't share emotional difficulties or much of my daily life as it's been about what I'm thinking. I also rarely delve into politics as I prefer cultural issues to partisan ones. Perhaps someone else's idea is no longer of much interest with readers as the numbers have gone down a lot for readership and don't get me started on comments lol. It wasn't always this way but times change. Are blogs like mine no longer relevant? 

I will take a break in October and maybe November to evaluate how I feel about that. If you have an opinion on it, you might consider making a comment no matter which way you think. 

Oh, and on that last blog from 2014, eight years makes a big difference as we head into actual old age territory. No, I don't think that is their sixties for most people. That's really an extension of middle age. We definitely age at different rates but by our 70s, it's getting into true old age and I've seen it with things that bother me that did not earlier. As Ranch Boss and I turn 78 this year, we are both more aware of the limitations on our lives. Maybe that's due to poor choices but poor choices when younger generally slide on by. The older we get, the more it hits home. 

What I find myself thinking about the most often is-- what is my life purpose to be ... with old age?

Education

 

From 1972 at Montezuma's Castle, Arizona. What do you know about it?

Because I dream a lot, I try to remember them for possible interest later. Sometimes that works and often it doesn’t. Either way, I enjoy dreaming vivid stories and images.

Last week, I dreamed my husband and I were at a convention of some sort. It was held in an interesting area, but I was staying with the trailer and the cats (typical of my life).

The part that seemed important was he and I were driving around and I began to think I needed to share with him some ideas I had about education. Although I was an education major in college, I didn’t complete my degree (one term shy). I had though gotten all the major courses-- missing only student teaching for one quarter (babies and life got in the way—my choice).

So, in the dream, I found a piece of paper to write what I thought was important in education.What is its greatest purpose?

First to give students the tools to continue educating themselves when they leave traditional school. Back then, among other things, that meant learning to use libraries, card catalogs, how to write a thesis and stick to the subject. Today, it might mean the internet. It’s about knowing how to learn after the school is behind us.

Second is to provide inspiration for why do you want to learn more. And not just about things that you can use to make money. For things that fascinate and intrigue you. When schools inspire, education does not end with graduation.

Third was to provide a reason to learn more. That means for jobs, careers, hobbies, relationships, really all the things that we use to improve our life situation.

 ~~~~~~~~

I was left with more thinking about a school system and what it teaches. Of course, there are facts, dates, events, rules, etc.; but in the end, do they matter after graduation? They matter if they can be used in some way and then inspire the student to keep learning. It might seem when we memorized (something I did with cards back in grade school) that 8 x 8 = 64 that it doesn’t matter; but it’s brain development and someday we might need it. Even if it’s to fall asleep at night.

 I am concerned, as an old lady, how the schools have come at odds with the parents over schools wanting to teach attitudes, reconfigure society and rewrite what had been taught in the past with things like CRT, 1619 Project, intersectionality, woke, and on it goes, where many of us elders don't even know what the words mean (even after looking them up). What actually is being taught???

You know, when I was in school (eons ago), I didn't have any idea what political party my teachers belonged to or if they did nor what religion. If a school wants to teach attitudes that suit the teacher, and a student graduates, maybe with no basic skills, as apparently Oregon now wants to decree, where do they go next especially if they never got a love of learning. Learning is not a means to an end but rather a beginning… or so said my dream.

What do you think the purpose of education is?