from July 1, 2022

We were fortunate for photographs of our Texas Ranger before the second of our monsoons arrived. Fortunate the storm arrived too. This plant is one of the first we bought and planted after buying this home in 1999. It is xeriscape and a big part of why we wanted it. The flowers often dry into interesting shapes for arrangements in the fall. I think this is the most beautiful we have ever seen it.

The video of the monsoon is 36 seconds and the sound well worth having if you watch it. The storm was over us for about 3/4 of an hour and dumped 3/4" of rain in that time. It also blew a lot of those blossoms into the pool.

https://youtu.be/pWwTLh98aVk

Texas Ranger (the bees loved it too)

I didn't really set this up for July 4th though that's how it is turning out for timing. I love my country and do appreciate living here despite all we are going through right now. 

We don't do much to celebrate it although when I was a child, it was one of the family gathering holidays where fireworks were part of the event along with potlucks and cousin time. We used to hold a Roman Candle and pass it around from child to child, then one of the mothers read they had been known to explode. That year it was put in the ground and it did explode...

For us though it is seeing fireworks from others, hearing the bangs which began the night of July 2nd. Maybe the thunder with the monsoon was an even earlier big bang celebration. The desert sure appreciated it!

 

What's Up?

 

Blogging has been difficult for me lately and mostly I don't know why. I have not been active outside and that might be part of it. I also don't know what we did in May other than get Ranch Boss an appointment to get his cataract removed in June. 

 

Nature was our sanctuary (and A/C) for what can be difficult months in Tucson-- humid and hot as we wait for the storms. We got one good one on our property with 3/4" of rain in 20 minutes. Nothing since as the storms pass us by. Where it comes to nature, it's especially wonderful to see the babies born and grow up.

 

For me, I've been dealing with first tinnitus (I'd never had it before) and then Menieres Disease (also ear related). I found an answer for the tinnitus with Lipo Flavonoid, but the other is more complicated and adds dizziness and sometimes nausea to the ear buzz. What's to write about when it comes to negative things like that.

 

June began with a bout of either food poisoning or a summer flu. Whatever it was, it laid me flat for over a week (it was not Covid, based on no fever or cough). I lost some weight, which I doubtless put back on once I began eating again. I've known those with Menieres and theirs  usually went away, after many months, which I am hoping happens as it is limiting with no idea when the dizziness will be a problem.

 

Ranch Boss' eye surgery went well so far anyway. It though meant no trip to Oregon for now. He had to make long distance arrangements for the  work he'd have done like getting in the winter hay. If we get the monsoon season  they are promising, September might be the soonest we can go. How expensive will diesel be by then???

 

So, I thought I'd put some photos here from May and June since they are the only good news that I can put out since words aren't so great and politics??? not sure who thinks there is good news there...

I hope some of you will comment (if I have readers left lol); so I can learn how you are doing if you don't have a blog (I did read blogs whenever I felt good enough to do so). As for my books, nada on them but I hope to get back to it. We have been playing with book covers. As you can imagine, with no new books coming out or advertising to speak of, not many readers there either :)

Beltane

 Beltane, May 1, my father's birthday many years ago. Happy Birthday, Daddy.

in our control... maybe.

 

As someone, who has gone through a tough year with the new one looking like it has more obstacles ahead, doing the blog (any writing) has been tough. Then I went looking for the meaning of Invictus (unconquerable) and found it has come from this poem. To date, my experiences have never been as dire as those of Nelson Mandela, who quoted it often. Still I understand the need we all have to be masters of our own lives. There is so much, including those we love, that we cannot control. I want to work on what maybe I can... to some degree.

Invictus  

by English poet William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

 Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.

Groop

 

No, I didn't misspell that. It was a dream and kind of an odd dream. I had apparently been taking a class. The teacher left us an assignment to write what we thought regarding a word,

Groop

As best, in my dream, I knew when I looked at it, I had never seen such a word. I wasn't sure if looking at a dictionary was okay but I had one on my desk. There was the word and some meanings.

Groop

Water

Life

Well that worked pretty well to give me some ideas on what to write mainly regarding what made life work for us. It was all in long hand and I wrote the things I thought that made life more worthwhile. It was things like nature, animals, and who knows what else I wrote in the dream. I began to wonder if looking in a dictionary for the meaning of the word had been okay. Was I supposed to know the word. I wrote two pages and then needed to fill in some more before I woke. I had no idea what the professor wanted from the assignment but water is life on this planet and then what makes life good was my approach.

After I woke as I laid there I wondered why such an odd dream about an assignment and was I supposed to learn something from a word that doesn't exist.

Have you heard the word Grok-- another word that wasn't real until it appeared in a book? It means how we can connect with someone without words and it's now in the dictionary. I doubt Groop will appear there but it is good to think what makes life good for us.

health and aging

After writing about my fall, my mind was on things I've learned this last year about my health. It's one of those things I don't generally write about but maybe some of what I've learned will help others as a lot of it I hadn't thought of before.

The one still impacting my life is keeping track of my blood sugar. I always thought if I had problems with it, it'd be heading toward diabetes. Not so. I ended up off and on (some thanks to nightshade intolerance before I realized it) going to hypoglycemia. Fortunately, I never went all the way into the dangerous realm, but when I get down to 70, my body reacts to it by unsteadiness and not feeling well. 

How do I keep it from going there-- small meals and carbs... What I had been doing, because I liked it, was eating a good breakfast and lunch around noon and then not eating much from then through the rest of the day. What I do now is breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid afternoon snack and a piece of cheese before bed, which for me tends to be between 6 and 7 since I am up before 4 the next morning. If I watched movies or television, I'd likely stay up later. I do not.

The nightshades have been a huge disappointment and some of them were among my favorite foods, like tomatoes, but worse was what is often snuck into processed foods i.e. paprika. If I eat that, I am in bad shape within a day or two.

There was a plus to this. I've lost 50 lbs over the last couple of years and wear jeans 4 sizes smaller than I did. I think maybe the snacks might help with what my last doctor visit revealed that I was low on sodium. Who thinks that could happen given we are not supposed to eat salt! Some of this might be aging as in 2021, I turned 78. I didn't imagine getting that old as at one time I thought I wouldn't live past 30. So goes my age predictions.

The photo is from a month ago right before we took the tree down. I care less about how I look these days than I do about how I feel and how I can move (walking gracefully is a thing of the past but I am settling for being stable :).

 

falls

There are many things for which elders are told to watch out. Blood pressure, blood sugar, pains, etc. etc. One of them is falling...

Before I was an elder, or whatever you call old folks, I took falls at various times but always about tripping on something, like on a hiking trail or walking up from the fields and my toe catching an uneven edge of the field. Then there was the time I broke my nose falling after I caught my toe on a carpet that was uneven. That one could have been bad since I landed on our bedroom's rock floor. It was scary-- all falls are. But overall, my nose survived and it made me more aware of our Oriental rugs.

The fall that I took the 26th of January didn't involve what I expected and could have been far worse than it was. I had decided to walk out the door to our concrete patio, pick up our small cat from a chair and carry her into the house. I got to the door, put one foot up onto the house when the other foot began to slide. I knew I was falling, but I worried also that I'd hurt the cat I was still carrying. I went down hard, hit my head on the screen door and then the concrete, I laid there a few seconds while I tried to figure out if my fall had crushed the cat. She was long gone. Then, I felt of my head. I had a lump sticking out from my hair... Not good. I got myself to a sitting position, into the house, and crawled to the sofa where I could use it and the coffee table to be sitting there when Ranch Boss got back from the store. He told me that the cat was fine. More or less I thought I was, although I wasn't sure about the meaning of the lump, which quickly went down.

I could go into more details about the next days, but the reason I am writing this is because of what I learned about head injuries, most of which I had wished I hadn't known. You don't need to lose consciousness for a head injury to be serious. You also, don't need to fall a long ways. What matters is what the brain has done as it hits against the skull.

My curiosity about this got into what happened to Natasha Richardson in 2009. She was on a beginner's ski slope, fell, hit her head on hard packed snow, was immediately back up, thought it was nothing. She was wrong and died 3 days later when she was brain dead from what her brain had done against her skull.

The other thing I learned is it can take a month for the worst consequences to show up with some head injuries. The lesson here, might be don't go to the internet for more info as it can be scary. Still, there are some symptoms of serious brain damage which include pain, nausea, unsteadiness, and more if you want to check it out.

We found out why my other foot slid-- loose dirt under the mat by the door. So, the lessons are get the mat away from the door, and do more exercises to have stronger leg muscles (something I knew was a problem at my age due to the lack of long walks).

So, this is here for warnings to others... as well as to quit thinking about what the heck I did that led to what happened.

And so we begin

 

From January and Wild Woman Rising Calendar

Reaching the end of January,  I thought I'd write a bit about calendars. I don't suppose all consider a wall calendar essential with the computer to tell us what date it is. I like them and have bought them for years as a way to inspire myself.

Last year and for many years, mine had the inspiration from Thich Nhat Hanh along with images by various artists like Nicholas Kirsten-Honshin. When I decided to go a different route this year, I had no idea Hanh would die the 22nd of January. I am sure though his calendars will go on with their inspiring thoughts like "The present moment is the only moment that is real. Your most important task is to be here and now and enjoy the present moment."

I thought that maybe having the thoughts by a woman would be good for me. I chose Wild Woman Rising-- Goddess, warrior, healer, rebel-- for this year's. I wanted the inspiration for myself and my writing (which has been in the doldrums). 

This is its inspiring thought for January-- "Practice Tender Fierceness  A sage once said of wild woman: 'She is not fragile like a flower. She is fragile like a bomb.'  It is a sacred charge to hold both our power and tenderness in balance, each deeply reverent of the other. When we speak truth to power, with grace instead of judgment, Wild Woman rises."

So, here we head for a new year, the Year of the Tiger according to Chinese astrology, which will begin February 4th. If though, you follow the Celtic New Year, February 1st is Imbolc, which is ewe's milk. Although we are not at the farm, the first twin lambs have already been born.

 

Winter Solstice

 

In celebration of the Winter Solstice and Christmas, we put some of my books on sale. I’d make them free; but if you have books widely available, you can’t do that. These are only on sale for Amazon eBooks.  “From Here to There” is not about Christmas, but it leads to the one that is and that’s why it got added to the 99¢ sale. Sale will end the 31^st.

 As we prepare to enter a new year, here’s hoping it’ll bring good things to you and the world

The non-Christmas one starts with when a wedding abruptly ends with the bride telling the groom she made a mistake. It travels to Montana where bride and groom, with the help of Montana, ranch living, and an aging uncle learn new things about themselves and life. Part of the story involves a journal of an earlier romance—Hence the title, “From Here to There.” It is a full length book and there is some spice in it.

 “A Montana Christmas”, a novella, picks up the couple a few years later when the wife tells her husband she wants to spend the holiday on the ranch and invite his estranged family. It has quite a section on the Winter Solstice as well as family.

 “Diana’s Journey”, a novella, begins with middle-aged Diana and her dogs starting out for a new life after an unexpected divorce. With even her grandchildren grown, she feels no purpose in Chicago. She isn’t sure where she might. After some travel, she decides Bluff, Utah, is the right place to spend the holidays when she is not feeling at all festive.  Big things can be found in small places.

 

 

Javelina, wild North American pigs, are disliked by some for their tusks and desire to protect their young when a dog, which they see as coyotes, comes along.  Coyotes kill their young. We have a  pair coming past our place now and then with now two babies. Even though they are native to this area, there are rules against feeding them for fear of the harm they can do. Too bad as I enjoy seeing them when they come by but do not try to approach them and do keep my eyes open in case they are around.

Links to the books on sale:

From Here to There -- https://www.amazon.com/From-Here-There-Rain-Trueax-ebook/dp/B006PNS7EC/

 A Montana Christmas -- https://www.amazon.com/Montana-Christmas-Rain-Trueax-ebook/dp/B00AOU0IQ2

 Diana’s Journey -- https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01M5IA26Y

 

What's up

 Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone is having a good Thanksgiving. Lately there has been a push to put down the original reason for the holiday; but if we get past those arguments and concentrate instead on what we can be grateful for, it is a beneficial day whether we are celebrating it as we might wish or doing the best we can for where we are.

I plan to continue with this blog but not on a regular schedule as before. It'll be when something comes along that I want to share-- maybe more often or less. Some might get a bit political but not partisan as our culture is being impacted by the political. We need to think about what is going on and hopefully without attacking others... (fingers crossed).

A quick synopsis of our last month involves travel across the Western United States. We left Oregon in our travel trailer on October 15th, drove through California and straight down through Nevada. Time in Beatty let us see the wild burros as they came through the RV park.

 

We arrived in our Tucson home on the 29th. That was not all driving with several times of spending extra days in RV parks due to weather or RV repairs. Sometimes I just couldn't stand the idea of sitting in the truck the next day. The three cats hated the travel in the cat boxes the most but it was safest. 

With now about the same amount of time here in Tucson, I am still unwinding as anxiety attacks are not made better by time on the highway-- although this one had less scary moments than many in the past. I am still walking like an old lady-- wait, I am an old lady!

Ranch Boss has stayed busy with repairs (the trailer we had left here had been infested by pack rats). He has it all shaped up now (that trailer is going back to Oregon eventually for my brother and his property in Eastern Oregon but not sure when that'll happen).

As you can see, we still have boxes to unpack (photo from yesterday) but we got up the Christmas greens, maybe the lights after Thanksgiving, which will be just the two of us but a turkey with the trimmings.

 

changes

Hard to believe that it's already October. It's been a unique year for me-- living in a vacation trailer for half of it or thereabouts. That will end but not sure when exactly. It will depend on when the chores at the farm are finished or as finished as is possible right now. That is more about Ranch Boss than me.

My big decision is whether to continue this blog or let it go into hibernation for a while. I won't close it down no matter what i decide as I did that years back with an earlier blog and had the title taken over before I got back to reclaim it.

Pretty definite is Diane will not be back with the blog as she has found other ways to communicate what she is doing. I never actually did that with Rainy Day Thought, as for me, it's been about ideas. I don't share emotional difficulties or much of my daily life as it's been about what I'm thinking. I also rarely delve into politics as I prefer cultural issues to partisan ones. Perhaps someone else's idea is no longer of much interest with readers as the numbers have gone down a lot for readership and don't get me started on comments lol. It wasn't always this way but times change. Are blogs like mine no longer relevant? 

I will take a break in October and maybe November to evaluate how I feel about that. If you have an opinion on it, you might consider making a comment no matter which way you think. 

Oh, and on that last blog from 2014, eight years makes a big difference as we head into actual old age territory. No, I don't think that is their sixties for most people. That's really an extension of middle age. We definitely age at different rates but by our 70s, it's getting into true old age and I've seen it with things that bother me that did not earlier. As Ranch Boss and I turn 78 this year, we are both more aware of the limitations on our lives. Maybe that's due to poor choices but poor choices when younger generally slide on by. The older we get, the more it hits home. 

What I find myself thinking about the most often is-- what is my life purpose to be ... with old age?

Aging from 2014

One of those-- what I'm thinking about. As I still don't know when I'll have internet, I may make this the last past-times blog. If you follow my blogs, you know I have been in Oregon, living in a vacation trailer, no cell phone coverage, and limited internet. Always interesting to figure out how important communication with the outside world actually is. This old post was looking at what I thought would be important almost 7 years ago. I am a lot older now but a lot of this is still true. I have learned though that what I thought aging was back then-- not so much when you really get there.

Saturday, December 06, 2014

aging

"I like to enjoy life. I like food, I like wine. I don’t want to spend 15 hours of my day wondering how I look. For some people, men and women, that’s their primary focus and that’s so boring."     
Kathleen Turner

Once in awhile I think about aging and what it means. I ask myself-- is there something I should be doing about it? Some who reach my age (71) feel they should discard things. They give away or sell what they feel they no longer need-- then often buy something else to fill the space. Nothing wrong with that philosophy, but I am thinking of other ways to look at an age where there aren't likely so many years left. 

What I have been looking at are the activities and people in my life. Do my relationships serve me or me them? Are my activities those I want to be doing and not just filling time? At any age, it's easy to fill time with superficial relationships and busy work; but when you get to a place where you realize less years lie ahead, frittering away time becomes more of an issue.

Last summer, when I tripped on a rug, where the playing cats had rolled up an edge, as I was going down and couldn't do a two step to save myself due to the rug having caught my foot, I knew it could be a bad fall. Beyond the rug, where I was about to land, was a stone floor and a dresser. Hitting either one wrong could have ended my life-- in seconds. As it turned out, I broke my nose. It was scary and shocking, but didn't even require a visit to an ER. Those kind of moments make a person think about the preciousness of time. 

To some degree, I have always lived as though the moment might be all there is because I've had those in my life who died very much before their time. I can't say I expected to get to old age, but here I am and making the most of being old is on my agenda. I have no fear of the word and don't go around saying, I feel like 18. I didn't feel like 18 when I was 18. Numbers are just that, but the truth is the body does change from birth to death.

Old age didn't really seem to come on me when I thought it would at 60. To be honest, my 60s were more a time of gradual changes but until near the end, they weren't that noticeable. 

When in Oregon, I had gathered together photos of myself thinking of a kind of retrospective of from 50 to 70, mainly to show what those years can be. Except there was not the huge change that I had expected. The photos didn't really tell what was happening as I had thought they might. 

Definitely looks are a factor in aging, but it's more about something else that I am thinking-- what do I want to be in these next years--if I am so fortunate to keep good health for say the next 10. I wrote this poem years and years ago and chose a photo of me at 27 to illustrate it.

When we are younger, we can put time into relationships that are frustrating or time wasters (some of that is learning about what works for us), but when someone gets to my age, it seems a mistake. Even as an introvert, I need some special people in my life, but I don't need to spend much time with those where the connection is shallow-- or has changed and no longer works-- for me or them.

Relationships, for me, (not counting family who are in a category all their own) can be broken down into:

• People I know to smile and wave 
• acquaintances where I will stop and say hello, ask how they are but don't expect much of an answer-- nor do they want much of one from me
• casual friendships where we may talk about family, a recent vacation, the weather. It's pretty much public information but just a bit more of it 
• deep friendships where I can be me. That is where I and they can let the dark and light side come through. We don't pretend to suit each other or put on a facade. There aren't many of those in anybody's life, but having a few is a real benefit.

I am at the age where I am doing some refocusing as to where I want to put my time where it comes to people. I was more tolerant of chitchat relationships when younger when I had more time ahead (probably). Today, each relationship where I put real time has to be one that can go deep or I'd rather be writing or walking somewhere. Making relationships work is about recognizing what they are and then setting boundaries-- something not always easy to do at any age.

When we got to Tucson, we wanted to have a fence that enabled our cats to go outside directly from the house. This is an area with a lot of predators not to mention the prickly things. I wasn't thrilled at the idea of a fence because I liked looking at the desert beyond my home. Once it was up though, I liked it. It offered me something that I hadn't expected. It defined space and yes, the bobcat, cougar, coyote, or javelina won't be coming on me or me them unexpectedly. The fence was built with a large double gate; so it can be left open to the area I most want to photograph. The cats are loving their new freedom and in reality the fence gave me freedom too. That's what understanding our personal boundaries does for us.

From the covered patio, looking toward the pool, which has always been fenced, but it's not a good idea to have pets there without us on the off chance they might fall in.

Along with people relationships, I've been thinking where I want my activities centered. Exercise is a given as it's needed for health, but I am not going to spend hours a day doing it. I need a lot of deep thinking time, which can also involve research and reading. I want very little time with television but when it's on, it's either news (less and less of that these days as it's easier on my emotions to get the news from reading) or something shallow that demands nothing but for me to laugh or cry a little but not feel bad when it's over. 

I did a little personality test on Facebook. Amazing how those 10 questions can sometimes tell us something about ourselves based on the photos we prefer.

You are a Creator! As the name suggests, you are a very creative, imaginative and passionate person. You love to experiment with various forms of creations, and challenge yourself at every opportunity.
One of the most important things in your life is your alone time. During that time, you let your mind flourish and your creativity go wild. Without that creating outlet, you could go practically insane.
Your creative nature helps you to always look at the positive side of life, always find the mental strength to move forward, and never look back.

It made me feel good in a way that I did know myself but also that what I think I need is what creators need. I don't need to feel guilty that I am not satisfying someone else's needs. My job is to know my own.

Where it comes to what I don't want-- shopping is at the top of the list. I remember a time I didn't dislike stores so much, but these days, stores are something to get through as fast as possible, getting enough to not have to go back soon. I also don't want to join clubs. I was never much of a joiner but had my years I did more of that. Clubs are mostly oriented toward the activity and not a place to build a deep friendship. I don't want to put the time into them (although if I was an extrovert, they'd likely be on my list of want to do activities. 

These days, I think the important place for me to spend time is what refreshes my soul and that is in nature or looking at nature. When I am in the Tucson house, to just sit on the patio and watch the quail and other birds interact with each other, to listen to the sounds the quail make, that kind of activity makes time seem to slow. It lets me look into a world beyond mine-- the world of the earth where mankind too often is in the way not a help.

For me, writing will be at the head of any list for the coming year. Wherever I am, whatever else I am doing, it is important as a way to share what I have learned with others but also fulfill myself. I especially like writing fiction, creating new characters, coming up with plots that are meaningful to me. Promoting that writing is not so enjoyable but something I need to do some of... I think :).

There though may be other activities I have not found enough time for recently. I know I want more time on rivers, sitting on a rock and feeling the sun on my back and maybe a week or two renting a cabin on the edge of the wilderness. Time with family is always important. Basically it comes down to wanting meaningful relationships and activities-- and discarding anything currently in my life that is not.

One certainty in all this-- there is less time available to me, and I am not going to fill it up, running from one thing to another looking for something outside myself. I've never been much of a gadabout. Recently I had reason to look that word up. Gadabout is a habitual seeker of pleasure. Well, I am less inclined to be one today than ever. In fact, what I have to watch out for is becoming a recluse ;). 

Anyway that's my thinking in a season where a year is coming to an end-- a time I often reevaluate where I am and where I want to be. It's been a few years since I did one of those, but I think I might for 2015.

Timing is everything-- or what goes around comes around

 About this time of the year in 2015, I wrote this one. 

Timing is everything

 Going Home out September 21, 2015

In 2015, we are living through a period where being politically correct is dividing us as a country. It's not enough how we treat others, we have to say the right words and have the right opinions-- and each side argues over what those might be. I can laugh when my Word tries to correct the word waitress to server person (for a story taking place in 1901), but is it really funny to have to use zy instead of she or is it ze, which in the end will mean the same thing since there is a gender difference in how we appear-- whatever we might call ourselves.  

So we learn to say Xe and pretty soon that's not okay and what comes next-- a desire to make words meaningless? It's not enough for us to fight over the issues actually impacting our country, we have to argue about things that happened long ago and force everyone to be politically correct-- until what is politically correct changes.

Several years ago, when I wrote Going Home, I knew a great deal about the American Civil War, having researched books and films, and having seen how it was viewed when I was in the South on vacations. I never dreamed the extreme divisiveness of that war would rise up in 2015. I didn't imagine the issues that were part of the Civil War were still roiling under the surface. Did the media, and by that I mean social media too, change everything or just reveal it?

Emotionally, the resentments experienced between North and South seem to have returned with accusations that Southerners who fought for the South all fought for slavery, that they were all traitors, not heroes-- followed by a demand that statues of Confederate leaders be removed from parks and the Confederate flag be viewed as a symbol of shame. In the eyes of some, the Confederate flag was the reason for the recent Charleston church murders. They believed that those flying it wanted to secretly illustrate their disdain for blacks and their feeling of superiority. And so the arguments raged.

When it became one of those politically correct issues several months ago (yes, it's about being PC because there is no real call for action or change beyond symbolisms), I hoped it would settle down before my book came out in September, but with Ken Burns documentary on the Civil War being run again, the side, that knows how it was back then, tolerates no dissent and rose to criticize even his even-handed depiction of a War that caused more American deaths than any other. How dare anyone suggest honorable men served on both sides?  

When you write an historical series, you try to keep it realistic to what you think would happen to these people (to a reasonable level as some words are simply not acceptable today-- accurate for then or not). When it's a romance, of course, you also want to give it a touch of emotional magic because real life too often doesn't do that.

My hero had come to Oregon two years before the war broke out. He bought a ranch, fell in love, and regarded Oregon as his home. Then his mother wrote from their Georgia plantation that his brothers had joined the Confederate army, and she was dying. She begged him to return home. Once he got there, the choices narrowed, and he did fight for the South even though he neither believed in secession nor slavery. He did believe in family and clan.

The book opens when the war has just ended. Jed, bringing his half brother to Oregon for the first time, has returned to an Oregon angry at anyone who fought on the Southern side, an Oregon filled with hypocrisy (a law was passed to forbid blacks from owning property in the state) and self-righteous rage-- especially from those who never fought in the battles. The soldiers actually did better with accepting that each side had done what they believed they had to do. 

An example of Southern thinking is Robert E. Lee, condemned by some in today's rage. He had been offered command of the Union forces by Lincoln, but he had to refuse because Virginia, his state had gone with the Confederacy. From what I've read, Lee didn't believe in slavery or secession, but he believed in his people, country and state-- and to him that country was the South once it seceded-- something it felt Constitutionally that it had the right to do. Of course, Lincoln interpreted the Constitution otherwise. He was not willing to see the dissolution of the United States under his watch-- no matter how many lives it cost. In the end, he paid for it with his own. Although Lincoln did not personally believe in slavery, it was not the reason he went to war.

I knew when I wrote the book that some would not like a hero who fought for the South. I didn't expect the national brouhaha that arose. Oh well, the November book, where the hero is mentally disadvantaged, likely will have some irked at it too. Try finding politically correct words regarding that for today and work for 1901-- now that got interesting...