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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Drawing energy to us

My theory on Weiner and others like him is they do what they do to get emotional energy which they can then use other places. So the question that comes next is what are safer, more socially acceptable alternatives for the same energy boost?

How we draw energy to ourselves, how we get it, is what I think is good to look at every now and again because to just sit there and not look for excitement in one's life can lead to atrophy. Fear of doing anything leads to doing nothing. There are a lot of possible sources.

Sexually playing around might do the trick. I don't know as it wasn't something I found would yield energy to me. I also don't see it as the evil some do IF the people are all being honest with each other about what is going on-- and it is about the ones involved, not the rest of us. I think for me it would be more of a drain than a boost, but have known people who felt otherwise, and it worked for them. Couples need to discuss this and be honest with each other.

I've written here before about polyamory relationships. Whether the general populace knows about it, it happens and with couples or triples or whatever in agreement. Polyamory is NOT okay with the general populace in our country and in some nations could end getting at least the woman stoned to death or murdered no matter what agreement the couple had.


To me a first step in looking at what draws energy to us personally is starting with whether one is an introvert or extrovert. That will determine whether energy comes from solitary times or times in groups. Need alone time, then be sure you have it. Need time in groups, find those groups based on activities you enjoy.

Personally I find creative activities generally bring energy to me (and use it). Painting, writing, gardening, decorating, photography, etc. Creative cooking fits in the same category.

Travel and seeing new places gives some energy as they plan trips, experience new places, and then have the memories to draw upon.

Another thought is that building something can generate energy. Now that might be a home, a garden, furniture, or even a bank account.

Sports work for some people and even as elders they can find sports that might be physically less challenging (like canoeing), but still allow them to learn and practice new skills.

Service for others or working to help nature or animals can be another possible energy source. This might be where the person gets attaboys or even not and simply done for knowing they did it.


The issue of what works best comes with a couple of caveats. One is working to stay focused on it because distractions are everywhere. Focus in a culture such as ours can be a real struggle.

Another is whether the person has the skills where it is possible to gain energy from the desired activity or action. You can be an extrovert who needs to be with people but had negative experiences as a child that scared you away from people or maybe you never learned people skills-- therefore you are drawn to do what is also painful. Working at cross purposes only frustrates us-- which doesn't mean we can't learn new skills.

I do not believe we effectively draw energy to ourselves when it requires using other people and I do mean using as in getting it from them. Working with others isn't the same as an extrovert would find themselves excited and energetic when they are involved with groups. Each person there (assuming they are all extroverts) is getting energy from the interaction. That's not being an energy vampire (someone who gets their energy by draining it from others).

People like Weiner might not be energy vampires either. He was openly who he was, from what I saw of his interactions. He didn't pretend he wanted anything more than sex. He and the women might've each pulled energy from each other.

Personally I felt he was getting deeper and deeper into an area (his text to the teen was way over the line even though it hadn't yet gone to the sexting level) that was going to get him into legal trouble soon. It seemed to me Weiner was nearly or actually out of control, likely had a problem with narcissism (Edwards too) which pretty well says it's an unhealthy way to get energy. Nothing we really find giving us genuine energy will not be under our control. When that happens, it's addiction and energy draining.

The problem people have is living in a culture that uses sex to sell almost everything. The news media glommed onto the Weiner story as a way to salivate over something exciting to them and use it to sell their own programs. I think they were as disgusting in their coverage as Weiner in what he did. When I had my grandchildren here, I was not happy to have them in the room when news was on-- like who wants to explain that to a child!

Finally, any activity or action that draws energy to us can have a risk involved because that's part of what is exciting about it. It is probably why so many do feel they find energy through sexuality.

However one does it, I think it's good for us all to think what draws energy to us (it won't be the same thing) but whatever it is, make sure it can be done without lies. Lies and any deceit sap energy, whether someone knows it or not. I don't think you can live with dishonesty and not find it physically detrimental.

If you have ideas of things that build energy, I'd like hearing them. Or even if you disagree with my theory and think we don't really need to build energy and it had nothing to do with what Weiner (or a long string of names) did.

The photos here reflect a rather sad story about the attempt to draw energy to oneself. The peacock at the top, who obviously was released or escaped from someone's farm, has, for probably the last five years, often been seen or heard along our creek crying at the top of his lungs to draw to him what he wants-- a female. The only females even close to his kind are wild turkeys who are not running toward him but the opposite direction.

It does make for a rather eerie sound to hear a creature at night that should be in a more tropical setting-- especially if we are watching something like Jurassic Park and realize the cry we are hearing is not coming from the television...

8 comments:

Paul said...

Rain, my doctor told me to choose between food or sex - I chose "or" and that has made all of the difference...:-)

Celia said...

Exercise believe it or not, and I don't really like it that much but when I get out at least every other day and do something, long walk in the woods, go to the gym, dig in the garden long enough to make me breath hard and sweat, I am so much more alive even if tired. Not such a curmudgeon either.

And, sex is good too but being partnerless for now it is just a fond memory.

Rain Trueax said...

Exercise is a good addition-- all sorts :)

Dion said...

I think Weiner's trouble stems from too many years of bachelorhood. The guy had been on the hunt for the better part of thirty years. Then, he found himself committed and 'tied down' in his mid-forties. He didn't want to physically cheat on his wife so he flirted online as an outlet. 'Flirted' isn't the best word, I know.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

I don't know that I agree with you, my dear Rain, about needing to draw energy to ourselves and the behavior of men like Weiner, Edwards and Shwartzenegger, too.....To me, their problems are somehing really deep and Weiner, in particular, seemed, as you said out-of-control...!
All three men are Power People and their needs seem, to me, out of proportion to other men, though I do think men generally, with testosterone racing all the time, certainly tend to "cat about" in an often indescriminate ways...(Forgive my spelling, please...)
My point is these guys need "help". Will they get it? Well, not Edwards probably, or Shwartzenegger,. Msybe Weiner, given that he has a young marriage with a baby on the way....In all three cases I have mentioned, yhese men hurt their partners/souses---Humiliating them in a really terrible way....Go Get Help! Find out WHY you do these things....!
I do agree that these stories feed the Medias need to distract from the real problems facing us all...and it is titallating to the Public. We all have an opinion---I just voiced mine.
But I am really tired of these men treating their wives with so little regard. To me, it is kind of a sickness of our society...And I really despise it, and, in a way, them!
I just wqant to scream: "Keep it in your pants!!"....Simple, I know. But, that's what I'd like to say as I slap each one of them in the face!

And, if this is these men looking for energy...well, all I can say is OY!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

OY me! So many mistakes in my typing...."SPOUSES" not souses, though that was probably good for a laugh....The rest of the mistakes---All I can say is I am so sorry....Typing with one finger FAST, I tend to hit lots of wrong keys....Like I said, OY ME! (lol)

Taradharma said...

a mutual friend of ours commented that if the internet were not available to the Hon. Mr. Wiener, he probably would be showing in ding-dong in the park to unsuspecting lady victims. This is the kind of energy he gets off on, and it is a sad state of affairs. It's very telling about his psychology that he would engage in such risky behavior, given his high-profile political career.

Too bad he didn't have a positive way to draw energy to himself.

Anne said...

I like your analytical approach. I'm all for consenting adults doing what they feel they need to do with each other.

On the other hand, politicians live in the real world where such behavior can wreck their careers in a red hot second. So what I have the most trouble with is the feeling that they lack good judgement to be up to that sort of stuff when they are in the public eye.

And there is the point the OldOldLady of the Hills made that it is hurtful to partners and families.