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Monday, August 11, 2008

The nature of affairs

Last fall when I read John Edwards was accused of having had an affair, to be honest, I figured, despite his denials, the accusations were true. I am kind of jaded about politicians while at the same time, as a Democrat, I don't generally care politically whether someone has had an affair or not.

Despite my belief a leader's personal, sexual life is not part of the public's right to know, some affairs seem more egregious to me than others. For instance when Newt Gingrich was having his affair with a woman he divorced his wife to marry, he was also pursuing impeachment of Bill Clinton for having an affair he didn't divorce his wife to marry. But that was more about hypocrisy than the affair.

Then there was John McCain's affair (the one that ended his marriage and led to a new marriage with a beautiful, wealthy woman who was not handicapped). It seems that was okay because of the divorce. Was John McCain faithful to that second wife or are the rumors about his possible other relationships true? Unlike most Republicans, if he was my candidate of choice, I would not actually care. He has plenty of reasons for me to dislike his candidacy, and his sexual habits aren't among them. His booting a wife because she was not perfect or his using someone to make his career successful, those would be reasons I would see as relating to his political ideas.
Although John Edwards having an affair would not have impacted my voting, his being a hypocrite or fraud would. Was Edwards a fraud when he presented himself as a happily married man, on a crusade to rid the country of poverty? He was doing what many powerful men do as he found his lover a well-paid staff position, so he had a good excuse to have her with him. Who paid for that? This is an area where it begins to be the public's business if the lover/employee is being paid for by donations or public funds.

Then there is the question of his judgment in choosing staff. Is the usual method for hiring documentarians to meet them in bars? The films she directed have mostly disappeared denying us the ability to evaluate whether she was naturally gifted in film making or whether the real gift was something more personal to Edwards.

The people who donated money to Edwards' poverty work might have reason to complain, but I personally didn't like him for other reasons. Revelation of his affair even now wouldn't impact my vote. It would though have made it impossible for him to be elected president probably. This country seems to have very rigid standards-- serial monogamy or nothing.

Before he announced his run for the presidency, Edwards says had told his wife about the affair. They apparently both decided it shouldn't matter. Shouldn't it have, given what happened with Clinton? Would it have ended his run if they had come out with the full truth at the start? Was his sex life any business of the public? Does being a sexually moral person mean someone is more likely to be a more ethical person in other arenas?

I used to have a saying about politicians and am trying to think of a polite way to phrase it while retaining the meaning. Basically it was that I prefer to vote for Democrats who screw women rather than Republicans who screw everybody. I personally think the Bush administration validates my theory (and who knows how many of them have been busily having affairs that are yet to be discovered).
My photos to illustrate this theme were inspired by a movie about a famous affair-- Bridges of Madison County. Interesting how often we romanticize affairs until they appear in our own lives or in a political leader.

Covered bridges can be symbolic for an earlier time where things seemed simpler. In Oregon we have quite a few that are still functional bridges. Generally they are one-way which works on gravel roads, but used to be death traps on highways, which is why the first one is now a park alongside the more effective concrete bridge.

Covered bridges serve as symbols for a way from this side to that with secrets sometimes hidden beneath their roofs. How many have served as romantic beginnings as they did in the movie? One more thought-- might, despite their beauty and our fascination with them, covered bridges also represent holding onto an antiquated system that needs changing.

I know with the Russian army killing so many in Georgia, with questions of global warming escalating Global Climate change, this topic might seem unimportant.
But is it?Are those leaders with the most potential to help solve these serious problems staying out of the public arena because their past or present cannot pass inspection? Do we reject leaders for the wrong reasons? Things like hypocrisy, misusing government funds, uncaring use of other people seem important to me but is sexual morality or immorality among them?

12 comments:

Sylvia K said...

We do feel the same way about this subject and I'm not always sure where to draw the line, but I do understand that politicians -- particularly presidential ones have to have big egos to begin with and that those egos need stroking. But does just being in office satisfy that need? Probaby not. Like you, the affairs themselves don't bother me nearly as much as the lies and cover ups -- not usually successful anyway for people so constantly in the spotlight. But there again is the ego factor, thinking they're too big, too clever to get caught.
Lots of questions, not a lot of answers.

Dick said...

I agree with sylvia that the affair itself isn't a big concern to me but somehow I can't help but wonder if the lying and manipulating of people & things isn't somehow an indicator of a character flaw that might lead to their not being as honest with the public as they should be.

MaryContrary said...

I agree with Sylvia and Dick. The affair by itself is of little interest to me. I am heartily sick of the news coverage this is getting since Edwards is no longer a candidate. I would be interested to know, if he were still running, whether campaign funds were misappropriated. Also, I am greatly put off by the hypocrisy angle. A candidate running on a platform of morality and 'family values' loses me when his/her own behavior doesn't measure up. And when candidates lie about sexual affairs I have to wonder what else they are lying about.

Rain Trueax said...

FDR had along term mistress who his wife knew about. I don't think there were lies involved as the public back then would not have thought to ask or believed they could. Would it make it more acceptable to people if the Clintons had had an arrangement whereby each of them could pursue affairs if it did not become public knowledge? Or would it make it worse? I think we still have a thing about the perfect marriage and monogamy being the ideal thing. So even if no lies are involved, are people comfortable with leaders who have other sexual interests?

JFK was basically promiscuous and would have affairs with anyone who he could get near. It wasn't love affairs for him but sexual addiction probably. If people had known Camelot had a hidden dimension, would it have mattered? Did some vote for Bush because they thought he had a perfect marriage? How does that relate to his leadership capabilities?

Rain Trueax said...

Edwards was still considered a possible candidate for veep or a position on the cabinet if Obama won. It was justifiable to bring up the lies now because of that but I think the press should leave it alone as to whether he fathered a child with that woman. That is between him and his wife as I see his career as probably over now. Good thing he's a wealthy man although it's amazing what these politicians can do, have a rebirth and come back again all renovated.

Darlene said...

What really bother me is the news coverage this gets. We have really serious problems in this country and intelligent people are talking about them but what do we get on the news? A bunch of well coiffed heads yakking about a two year old affair.

Powerful men attract young attention seeking women and the weak ones are easy prey to their lures.

Anonymous said...

I feel very much the same as you as far as it's their personal life....but I'll take it a step further, because I truly DO separate what they do in private with what they do for our country.
HOWever........it didn't look too great on the news tonight about Edwards and money for the lover. I'm afraid there's a LOT more that will come out about this and THAT I do NOT agree with....what I mean is, I don't care a whit what they do in their private lives, but if he WAS taking donated money to supply his lover with a nice home, lifestyle, etc. wrong, wrong, WRONG! So it'll be interesting to see how this plays out.
Terri
http://www.islandwriter.net

Anonymous said...

Just saw your question here about "so are people comfortable with leaders who have other sexual interests?"
I'm EXTREMELY comfortable with that. If that person does a good job for this country, betters it, is on top of social issues.....I'd consider myself a very shallow person if my concern was that he had a lover.
As I've mentioned before in other venues........Europe laughs at us and our puritanical, hypocritical, morality........and laugh they should.
Terri
http://www.islandwriter.net

Mary Lou said...

It would not matter to me if any politician had an affair as long as he did not LIE about it. I am just stupid enough to believe that the people we elect should be HONEST> and when asked, he LIED! Broke my heart!!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

AS you know from my post about The Edwards Affair...It is not the sexual indiscretion that bothers me...It Is His Lying About It!
I don't know what we have here anymore....Maybe we have made it completely impossible to have a "private" life, and STILL Become Fresident???
What a mess it all is.

Diane Widler Wenzel said...

I do care that leaders constantly in the public eye are prone to sex outside of marriage. Not for putting them down, however, rather I wonder if it is an illness causing them suffering. Someday I expect a public figure to be public about their illness and tell us how they are being cured.

Fran aka Redondowriter said...

Rain, I can't remember if you watch the videos at Brasscheck. I have a friend who sends me the links all the time and they are pretty horrifying: http://www.brasschecktv.com/.