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Friday, June 22, 2007

The Sunset of Life

It's a rather ironic topic to post here today after we just had the Solstice which is the highpoint of the year, a celebration of the most light we in the Northern Hemisphere experience in a day, but it is on my mind. (Two Solstice oriented posts still to come.)

Where I am staying in Montana is an older home, a cottage, which the owners rent to others as a vacation home away from home. There are five horses on the property and one in the yard right with this house. She is a thoroughbred and 26 years old. In her prime she raced but when these owners got her, she had had years of physical abuse. She will live out her life on the banks of this little creek with plenty of food, other horses to nuzzle across a fence, but none to pick on her. She is skinny, frail, and not long for this world, and she is what reminds me of the seasons of life more than the Solstice.

Watching her as she walks around the perimeters of her world, I wonder (as I have with all old animals) does she know she is so old? I am old by age standards. Yes, I use pictures here, by watching lighting and angles, where I look younger than I am. A neighbor back home recently told me he had no idea I was my age. It doesn't matter whether I look in a mirror and see every one of those soon to be 64 years (and I frequently do), they are there. I feel them; and when I think of the horse and see her old body, I think about my own aging.

It's not in a bad way that I think about it. The Solstice yesterday was a time to glory in life. I even got a slight sunburn from that glorying (not on the agenda), but to truly glory in life means we must accept all its stages. The sunset, the declining years, those are part of the years where the juices once flowed freely and we could bound up mountains if we so chose. Nobody stays in a race horse mode. The latter years come, and it is up to us what we make of them-- but not whether they come. We can be depressed, or relish the fact we got here at all. We elderly get to experience all of life where so many have been denied that.

David Brooks wrote something, on a totally different topic, but it so fit what I was thinking about today-- how to make these last years really good ones. I believe, we do that, not by denying them but instead relishing them for what they are. Unlike the horse, who most likely does not know, we do know they are coming. What we expect could play a large role in what they become.

"We’re not primarily deciders. We’re primarily perceivers. The body receives huge amounts of information from the world, and what we primarily do is turn that data into a series of generalizations, stereotypes and theories that we can use to navigate our way through life. Once we’ve perceived a situation and construed it so that it fits one of the patterns we carry in our memory, we’ve pretty much rigged how we’re going to react, even though we haven’t consciously sat down to make a decision." by David Brooks New York Times.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ohhh how beautiful that sunset is! I'm so glad that you took a photo of it! Thanks for sharing it with us!
Horses are outstanding animals aren't they? You can look into their eyes and see their soul. The energy from them flows right into you. I suppose that may be why they are great Therapy. Wonderful post!
*HUGS*

Anonymous said...

I like "Nobody stays in a race horse mode." That's a good one, Rain. I don't normally think alot about my age. Inside, I still feel 23. I AM aware that I can't do heavy things as well or as long as I used to be able to. And when I come inside from working out in the yard or garden, I'm aware of aches and pains I never used to have. A close friend was recently diagnosed with a devastating form of cancer, and that made me stop and think about the number of years I've had - and those I may or may not have in the future. I was talking to my sister and it hit me like a ton of bricks when I told her, that at 57 and 58 years old, we are not even 'middle aged' anymore! Wow. Where did it go? But I'm grateful for every day - it's all gravy. And though I may be 58 years old - I'm never getting old! And I won't be going gentle into the night, either!

Mary Lou said...

I am commenting on the last post, because I had opened comments before I realized I was on this post...(CRAP DIAL UP ya know)

Anyway...I feel exactly the same way you do when I first saw the rockies and Montana...like I had lived there before, I feel like I am being reborn sometimes! When I am really really down on myself and on life,I head UP! Can't always make it to Montana, but I can go up high in the cascades!

I have some Native American Blood in me somewhere, so maybe that is what is speaking to me!

Suzann said...

Rain - you are my guide and mentor - as we make our way - thank you for this reflection. Heart to Heart.

Anonymous said...

Gorgeous sunset and beautiful horse. How nice he has such a serene place to finish off his years.
Hmmm.....kind of reminds me of "me"...moving to the island to enjoy all the years I still have left, but doing so with peace and serenity.
Having just turned 60 three months ago, what I find is not so much I can't do the things I could at 30, but I seem to feel the fatigue a little faster.
Life is good....no matter the age, I say. Enjoy your wonderful get-away!

robin andrea said...

Such a beautiful sunset, and a wonderful contemplative metaphor for the end stages of life. I turned 55 last month, and while talking with my mom, she mentioned something that happened, and I said, "That was over 50 years ago." That's when it really struck me. I remember stuff that happened more than a half a century ago.

It's beautiful to see that old racehorse have a peaceful place to spend her days. What more can any of us ask?

Anonymous said...

Enjot the Big Sky country Rain !

Anonymous said...

The latter years come, and it is up to us what we make of them-- but not whether they come.

I am your age and have started to really understand that change is happening, decline is inevitable, the end is coming. So many of our contemporaries refuse to acknowledge the truth. They fight it, spend lots of money to try to cover it up, and end up old and gone like everyone else. Peace, happiness, and final fulfillment are to be found only in acceptance of the truth and of ourselves the way we are, not the pursuit of what we wish we could be or once were.

Anonymous said...

Rain, I love that your posts stay with me long after I've finished reading them and really make me think. And my 2 cents - I think our generation is a much "younger" one than our parents or grandparents were. We continue to work, read, write, exercise, craft, garden, etc -- all of which keeps the mind happy and the body in "race horse mode" as long as possible, I think! Thanks so much for the "fodder". (hee hee)

Diane Widler Wenzel said...

Even in my mother's generation, I know two who continue to read, use computer e-mail, make new friends, and stay engaged. I hope to do better in my 90's and still be traveling. I am just recovering from surgery that will make me stronger in being able to lift things and sleep better at night without having to get up a dozen times. I need to recognize different body rhythms and adjust my life to them.
Going on vacation to high places like Montana is something I want to do more of. Your vacation sounds great.

Anonymous said...

What an interesting read, and beautifully written. I am in my early 40s, my husband turns 62 this year, my mother 83 next weekend. We live with her as her caregivers. I see the ageing process in all of us and you know, it is okay :-)
Thanks for giving me some new perspectives to consider.

Anonymous said...

Saw your comment at Naomi's. Your mother probably was right--she should have been given a limited license. Only 1/10th of 1 % of auto accidents are caused by unpredictable mechanical failure, dimming vision and poor reflexes! The rest-at any age- are c aused by bad attitude and poor judgement. Staying off the road when you have cramps, migraines, backaches etc. applies to teens, pregnant women, old geezers or anyone else. Under the proper conditions, with the proper equipment, your mother could have retained her personhood. She was part of the "terminally polite" generation. But we, the "no, no, we won't go" generation WILL keep, on driving--DMV or no DMV!

Rain Trueax said...

nice to see you here, anonymous. In my mom's case, she should not have driven and we had talked her out of doing it anyway. Mom lived on the property here and we took her places. She had one accident where she didn't see something. Mom was legally blind, no center of her vision. It would likely have been tragic if she had continued to drive. Even to do grocery shopping she had to use a magnifying glass and use the edges of her vision. It was sad she lost it but driving impacts more than us; so I think it was right that she lost it. Old age can be tough

Anonymous said...

Excellent food for thought post, Rain--and I loved the butterflies, too. Hope you are continuing to revel in the beauty and peace around you.